Vic Cohen takes listener calls on personal topics

I'm Vic Cohen and it's a fair question. Hello this is Vic Cohen broadcasting live yes live from Skid Row Studios in Downtown Los Angeles the name of the show is It's a Fair Question because see here on this show every question is a fair question There is no question that is ever too personal or ever off limits. Now, usually on the show, each episode, I spend an hour with you and a guest. But today we're going to do something a little different. Normally I have a guest, like I said, like someone who I find really interesting or a friend that I think is fascinating or someone new that I've met who I find fascinating. And today or this evening, I figured we would try something that a lot of listeners have been asking me to do. And that is instead of having some guest on the show answering those tough questions, someone I bring in, it's going to be me. I'm going to be the guy facing all of those tough questions, all those personal questions, all those questions that maybe no one really wants to answer. I'm going to be the guy doing that. I'm putting myself in the hot seat and you're going to play me tonight. Call in here. You can ask me anything you want. Again, there's no such thing as a bad question, a question that's too personal. The number is 800-893-9562. That is 800-893-9562. And I see we already have some calls, which is great. I'm going to get to you in just a minute. I just have to share with you, I have had an amazing week. I would say like professionally, this last week has been one of the more exciting I've ever had. Reason being, I was just working on a show that Howie Mandel was producing. It's for TBS and it's a comedy show. It's a game show. And I was helping with the writing on the show as well as the acting. I was in about roughly half the shoot dates on camera. And I have to say like, this thing is crazy. You have to see this show. It's probably coming out, I think it's July maybe. I don't know what the exact launch date is, but I'll keep you posted. And it is some of these bits. I mean, they're crazy. There are things like you'll be talking about the next day. I know I was, because they were just crazy. And I can't say much more because we sign these things that don't allow us to talk too much about it. But we just finished shooting on Saturday. And it was probably one of the more insane. I would say it's the insanest shoot day I've ever had as far as like craziness and the comedy was just totally something you probably wouldn't have thought of. I mean, I think it's just crazy. I mean, I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. I think it's just crazy. You wouldn't imagine happening. I mean, it was just the situation that we created on the show. It was so much fun. So also I want to thank you, Howie, and other people. Listen, Mike Harney, Mike Marks, Roy Bank, Tom Kramer. It's like I'm selling, feel like it's an award show, but it's really not, obviously. But I can fantasize. These are the guys I worked with, Tom Kramer and Doug Perkins, Rich Thurber and our host, Theo Vaughn. Theo does a great job. And Alex Mandel co-hosted many of the episodes. And he does a great job. And he does a great job. And he does a great job. And he does a great job. And he does a great job. And he does a great job. That's Howie's son, and he's been a guest here on the show. If you haven't heard that interview, it's really, really good. You can find that on iTunes or here on the Skid Row station. And the other thing is I had an audition today where they told me I needed to talk like a frog. Jeremy, Jeremy's our producer and owns a place here. Can you talk like a frog? No, I can't. I don't think that I could do that. Can you try? Try. See, I just think a Kermit. But I developed. Wait. Hello, Jeremy, can you? There it is. There it is. I found it. Does that sound like a frog? Yeah, that does sound like a frog. I'm going to be so pissed if I don't get this part. I've damaged my vocal cords, shredded them. Yeah. I found the frog voice right before the audition. Thank God. So it was really fun. So they just said, we need a frog? They said that in the call, you know, they have like a breakdown of the characters. This character is called Froggy Voice. Okay. And I guess I would love to say the show because it's a really funny show. But again, they don't like you talking about this stuff before it's out there. But it was really fun. And if I get the part, you will hear about it. If I don't, it's like it never happened. I will never discuss it again. So as I said, here on the show, I'm taking calls 800-893-9562. Feel free to ask me anything. I am looking forward to kind of getting the feeling of what it's like to be, to be on the spot like my guests often are. And let's go to our first call on line one. I think we have Wendy on the phone. Is this Wendy? Hi, Victor. Hello, Wendy. Wow, she's calling me Victor, Jeremy. You know, that's, that's... I've never heard anyone call you Victor. Yeah, would you, why don't you do that right now for me, Jeremy? Call me Victor. Victor. Oh, I like that. It reminds me of being back when I was a child. So how are you, Wendy? What is your question for me? And where are you calling from? I'm calling from Stevenson Ranch. Okay, you're calling, is that a ranch specific? That, for people who don't know, that's not like someone's name, like Stevenson. This is a neighborhood, right? Like, could be Los Angeles, a city. It is a neighborhood in Santa Clarita, California. Great. You have a very, you sound very familiar. I think we've worked together. We have. In fact, you've... We've worked together often. Yes, in fact, Wendy, it gets, it's Wendy San George. She was a guest on the show. And I'm wondering if this call is... Payback. Because I've spoken to Wendy. In fact, she's been a little bit, I don't know, have you been remorseful about doing the show? Or you just feel very vulnerable? Vulnerable. Never remorseful, just vulnerable. Right. So what better way to make sure no one listens to that episode than to call in right now for me to remind everyone to listen to the Wendy San George. She's a makeup artist here in Hollywood, works on a lot of shows, and she's just, and she's a good friend. So how are you? How are you tonight? And what's the question? I'm great, Victor. I actually was wondering how you felt about nudity. How do, why, are you naked right now? Always. Always naked. Always. Would you, would you get naked for me if I asked? I, this is, you're the, it's the fair question about for you to ask. That's, you're right, the fair question. Well, it's very broad. Do you have a more specific question? Well, actually, I was wondering, you know, if you had an obsession about nudity, if you feel it's good in the workplace. You know, that kind of thing. Well, it depends. If you're working at, you know, like a porn place, I suppose it's fair. I mean, in the kind of workplace we are, like, you know, acting. Oh, it depends. It depends on the situation. You know, it's really funny, actually. We, I don't know if you remember, we did Mobbed. That was that singing show for Fox. And it was shot in the Vivid building. Excuse me, it wasn't shot, but the production offices were on the Vivid building. Vivid Entertainment. The world's biggest purveyor of porn, online porn. And one night, one day we got a tour of the place. Steve Hirsch, I think his name is, the owner. Jeremy, you know his name, right? I don't know his name. That's the place in Universal City, right? Right, exactly. Right next to the freeway. And it's a great place to work because every day is hump day. I don't know if you know that. That's one of those days I left early for production. Yeah. And. And every, and Casual Friday is very, every day is Casual Friday over there. You know, I have no problem with nudity as long as it's being done professionally. And, you know, so yeah, I mean, I'm wearing clothes now and actually we, Jeremy, you may remember we did an episode here on the show where I was completely naked. Yeah. You had a, you had a body cavity search. That's correct. And in order for that to be authentic for someone to truly get a body cavity search, you must be naked. Yeah. And I missed that episode. Yeah. Did you have any other questions for me? Oh, do I get to ask more than one? If you have one, that would be great. Oh, okay. Well, I would like to know a little bit more about your personal life, like who Victor might be besides the host of this show and the actor that we might know and the comedian. Personally, who are you? Well, you know, Wendy, you need to get a little more specific because. More specific. Are you married? I am not married. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am single. I am disease free. I am disease free. At least when it comes to venereal diseases, mental health, I'm not included in that. Yeah. Do you date, Victor? I do date and I'm available. What kind of women do you like? Can I ask? What type of women do you like? That is a fair question. Thank you. That is a very good question. Specifically, what type of women? I like a woman who's a nice person. And who's, you know, it's very, I love a great personality. That's true too. Right. But do you like ethnic women or specific ethnic women? I'm open to anything. I'm open to anything. Wendy, are you hating on me? No. I'm just asking specific. You told me to be specific. Well, that's you right. You're doing what I said. Well, the truth is that I'm open to anything and everything when it comes to women. I love women. I love everything about women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I love women. I'm open to anything about them. I do. Okay. So, no specific type. There's no type. No. So, all you women listeners out there, Vic is single. I'm open. He likes all types of women. And I don't care about the height. I'm rather a short guy. But I don't mind a taller woman. I actually recently had a relationship with a taller woman. She was almost six feet. It lasted about three or four dates. Wow. Yeah. Well, the thing, what I did is I just never let her see me standing. I would like show up to the restaurant early. I'd be like, hey, I'm over here. I got a booth. She'd go to the bathroom. I'd run out to the car. I got the car. That's hilarious. Well, listen, Wendy, I need to run. I got another call. But thank you so much for calling in. I really appreciate it. And again, that's Wendy San George. You must listen to my interview with her. It's fantastic and how revealing and open she is. So thank you again, Wendy. And thanks for the call. Thanks, Victor. I'll see you soon. All right. Thanks, Wendy. And I believe we have another call waiting. Go ahead. Are you there? I think it's processing through. It takes a moment in our system to go through. Again, the number here is 800-893-9562. That is 800-893-9562. And I've got a caller here. Yes, go ahead. You know, I'm not hearing you. Jeremy, it seems like I'm not hearing the caller. There we go. How's it going, Vic? Great. Thank you. What's your name? Frank. Hey, Frank. Thanks for calling. Where are you calling from? Wisconsin. Oh, okay. What city? It sounds like Milwaukee. I'm going to guess. Yeah, that's what I meant. I'm pretty good. I understand. You're not used to probably... I don't know that. Have you called in shows before? Yeah, I have. I call into Skid Row Studios all the time. Oh, cool. So you're a regular listener. That's great. So what's your question for me? Vic, um, you work with a lot of beautiful women in TV and the various things that you do. Were you ever... Did you ever consider dating any of the women that you work with or is that strictly off limits? That is a great question. It is a great question. I was laughing because I seemed like overly excited about it. I make it a point when I was working on Deal or No Deal, we had all those models. And if you haven't seen that show, I think it's still in repeats in the Game Show Network or GSN, I think they call it now. There were 26 models holding 26 different amounts of money in their briefcases. And I never once went on a date with any of them or pursued them. And let me tell you something. It's not because I didn't have my shot. Chance. That sounds like a brag. No, I'm kind of kidding around. I never did because I really like working and it's just not working. It's not worth it to me to lose a job over dating. So I really had a good, I'm pretty good about cutting off interest in romantic interest in coworkers. How about you? Do you sleep around with your coworkers? No, no, I'm all business all the time. I wouldn't do that. And, you know, I respect the fact that you keep business in place. You're separate. That's a good thing. That's very professional. Well, the thing about it is that in this business, particularly the entertainment business, it's so hard. There's so many people who want to work in it. And I honestly do believe it is such a privilege that I don't want to screw that up in any way. I just want to take advantage of the opportunities that I have that I feel fortunate enough to have where I can be creative. Hopefully big people laugh along the way as part of that work. And so to involve, to do anything that detracts from that is just not going to work for me. It's not healthy for me in the sense it's not who I want to be. Also, I think when we're at work, it's often an example of our integrity as a human being, not to get all moralistic or I don't know the right word for that. But I think that how one conducts their life at work is often perhaps at times often an example of how they conduct their life in general. Okay, that's the very, it got really serious here, didn't it? Yeah, wow. Well, thanks for your answer, Vic. I appreciate that. Yeah, any other questions? Not at the moment, but I'm going to keep listening. Okay, well, I appreciate that. Thank you very much. Thank you. Sure. You can also reach me on Twitter or on my Facebook page. And I got a great email here. This is from Gerald in Omaha. And Gerald has, he has emailed me. He asked me, have I ever been with a man? And first of all, Gerald, define man. That's part of the question. What do you mean by been with? No, I've never been with a man. And I don't know if you're offering, Gerald, but I would at least need to see a picture to go all the way out to Omaha. I have no problem with that. I believe every guy, like we all have that guy. Okay, Jeremy, am I wrong on this? I believe that every guy, if he had to, has like the guy they know they would be with if they had to be with a guy. Would you agree with that? Do you know what I'm saying? Like, who would be the guy if you had to make love to a man? And I'm trying to make, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about making love. You had to make love to a man. You see, I always look toward, you know, kind of my heroes and it's not so much a sexual attraction. But if I had to choose, you know, it'd probably be with some, some kind of writer that I admire or something like that. And who would that be? You know, I do a lot of writing. I do a lot of writing. Yeah. My favorite writer is Charles Bukowski. So you would make love to Charles Bukowski? If I had to, I guess. If you had to. Is this the first time you've shared that with anyone? Yeah, it is. Oh, how's it feel? Feels really weird. Liberating, isn't it? Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, it's kind of a weight lifted off my shoulders. I sense a lightness about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wonderful. I actually, I would have to say that my man crush, if I had to be with a man, would be Bradley Cooper. Wow, really? Yeah. You know, he's like a normal guy. He's masculine. But, you know, I think he's probably clean. He looks like he showers. Because I wouldn't, if I had to be with a man, again, that's not my first choice, I would want him to be clean. Plus, he's doing really well right now with the whole, you know, hangover series. Yeah, you're right. And you know, also, if I were to have kids with him, if we were to adopt, I would be a great stay at home dad. Why is that? Because I just love kids and I think I'd be really good with them. And I understand the business and I would let Bradley do his thing. I would allow him. So you'd be comfortable kind of taking the backseat, letting him, you know, continue on his success. 100%. Yeah. That's really supportive of you. Well, I think he's very talented. And I think also raising a child is an amazing privilege that can't be paralleled even from work. So to have, you know, by a job or something. And, you know, being that, I think Bradley would be the kind of guy who would be generous and take care of us. And I would make sure that I was being taken care of. I wouldn't just jump into something with him. You know, we would have something signed. I'm not stupid. Yeah. You know. And I think that it would be a really, I think that our age, you know, he's age appropriate. You've thought a lot about this actually. Wow. Well, we're talking about it. And, you know, I think that every guy out there, you know, has a guy that if they were to have to be with, you know, if they were forced to, you know, make love to that. I mean, you know, I think I'm pretty much like every guy. You know, we all think this through. I think he lives in Los Angeles. What do you think the lovemaking would be like with? You know, that's a fair question. Yeah. And I appreciate that question very much. You know, I think with Bradley, it would be a lot of playfulness. And I also think he's got a lot of testosterone. So I imagine he'd probably try and get a little rough. And, you know, I would, I suppose, go along for the ride. I mean, it's not my first choice. But I would just know that at the end of the day that it's really about his pleasure and wanting him to be happy. You know, that's kind of how I am like that. Wow. Yeah. So, again, the number here is 800-893-9562. Unfortunately, if you're having a hard time getting through, we've been having a problem with our phone system. So keep trying. And meantime, thank God, I do have some questions here that have been emailed. Some of them are horrible. I'm going to try and find some that are less. Less obnoxious. This one is horrible. And I'm going to answer it because I know this person's been listening to the show for a long time since we first started. This would be John in Toledo. Hello, John. Thank you for this email. I mean, it really doesn't do service to the show to answer this. But again, in my respect for John, I'm going to. The question is, would I ever have sex with an animal? And the answer to that question is I have had sex with an animal. And because this is a fair question, I'm going to answer that. But it was a stuffed animal. Let's go to a phone here. We've got a. Yeah, let me be clear. That was a stuffed animal. We've got another phone call here. Go ahead, caller. Yeah, this is Peter. Hey, Peter. How are you? Good. Good. You sound a lot like the guy who called earlier. Oh, no, that wasn't me. That was another guy. OK, what's going on? Well, if you were gay, I'm just wondering, would you be a top or a bottom? That's a great question. You know, I love this question. Is it Peter? Is that you saying? Yeah. Is there a particular reason that you're asking this question? Well, myself and some of the boys. Yeah. I'm a New York City, by the way. Oh, great. Thank you. We're all listening to your show. Oh, that's cool. Thank you for being up so late. We're in this club and we're in this back room and we're just wondering, you know, would Vic be a top or a bottom? That is a fair question. And I appreciate that call and that question. You know, for those of you who are not familiar with the vernacular, top would be if two men were making love, it would be the man on top and the bottom would be the man on the bottom. And I think that's a good question. I mean, I think that's a good question. I mean, I think that's a good question. I mean, I think that's a good question. I mean, I think that's a good question. I think that's a good question. And I appreciate that call and that question. You know, for those of you who are not familiar with the vernacular, top would be if two men were making love, it would be the man on top and the bottom would be the man receiving. The bottom would be the man receiving. And it's really a great question in so many levels. Not really. Actually, I would say that I would probably be open to just about anything if it were the right guy. And like if it were Bradley. If it were my man crush. Now again, I'm not interested in Bradley for real, but if I had to be involved in that kind of situation, yeah, I would probably, I would have to say probably a power bottom. Any other questions? Power bottom? Yeah. No, that's it. But thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. That clears up a lot. That was a great question. Thank you. So there's a question earlier asked about would I have sex with a woman? Sex with an animal. So this seemed like a good idea, Jeremy. You know, didn't it? Yeah. It sounded like a great idea. Take calls, emails. Right. And it feels like, I don't know, it feels like we got kind of a sick audience. I mean there's been some questions. Yeah. Is this typical, would you say, of the Skid Row audience in general? It's pretty typical. Yeah. Yeah. Truth is, is that as we were saying about sex with an animal, I did make love, the first thing I ever made love to was a stuffed animal. It was a stuffed animal giraffe. Wow. It's fascinating. I got it at our Purim carnival. Say that again, a what? Purim, it's a Jewish festival. Oh, okay. We had one, I had convinced my brother, one of my brothers, that we could all get one gift and I convinced one of my brothers that that's the gift he should get because really, I wanted to make love to it and I wanted something else. So he got this stuffed animal giraffe. So you saw a stuffed animal giraffe. Yeah, it was about five and a half feet. Jewish festival. Right. And the first thing that came to your mind is, maybe I can get my brother to win this so I can have sex with it. Right. Okay. And he got it and he took it home. And then within, I would say, a day or two, I made love to that animal. Wow. Okay. And it had long legs and it always had the same fixed expression on its face, seemingly in my mind of pleasure. And I did this for years. I'm not afraid to admit that. Usually you say no animals were hurt. I don't think this animal was hurt. I was pretty delicate. But you're a kid. When you're a kid, in my mind, that's why they give them away at carnivals, stuffed animals. Sure. I made love to all of my stuffed animals. Grumpy. But was the giraffe the best for some reason? I think so. And he always was there. And he was always standing, as I say, by my side. Right. I mean, the animal... And the worst part of it is, not too long ago, we were cleaning out the basement and we were going through our stuff. And I said, I felt like I needed to tell one of my brothers what had happened. I felt like it was that time. And I shared with him, I said, I'm not gonna say which brother it was, but I said, I was making love to Gia. That was the name of the giraffe. And then he said, which is the most horrifying thing I've ever heard, is he said, so had he. So we'd both been making love to this animal. Wow. For years. Yeah. A lot of DNA. Yeah. And you still had the animal? You found it or... Yeah. And it was standing up, not just from the strength of its legs, probably from the DNA that it had put inside. Right. It was a little crunchy, huh? I don't wanna get too specific, but I always wondered, when you have a stuffed animal that has tape over its rear end, and you're the second guy coming by, wouldn't you just stay away from that? I would think so. But my feeling is, Jeremy, I don't know if... I think that... I don't... Don't all kids do this? All guys? Wouldn't you say? Probably. At some point, you probably, when you're hitting that certain age, you kinda go for whatever you can get. And sometimes it's a pillow, sometimes it's a stuffed animal. It seems appropriate to me. Mm-hmm. But sharing it with your brother, that's when it gets a little... It was unbeknownst to me and him. We didn't know we were sharing the same lover. Yeah. Yeah. We talked earlier, someone... I've got a question here about a previous episode. And the question I got by email is, Vic, when you were talking to that expert on sex addiction, you said that you don't look at porn. Bullshit. Yeah. That's what this guy wrote me. Huh. Now, I guess the question is, he doesn't... I mean, he thinks I'm lying. He doesn't believe you, yeah. And I'm gonna tell you that the truth is I do not look at porn. Really? Yeah. I am porn-free. How about you? I definitely look at porn. Yeah? Yeah. When was the last time you looked at porn? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. When was the last time you looked at porn? Yesterday. Yeah. Okay. And how long did you look at it? 15 minutes, probably. 10, 15 minutes. Mm-hmm. How much time do you average a day, would you say, looking at... On porn? Online porn, yeah. You know, I do... I... You know, when I pleasure myself, I do that at least once a day. Okay. Is that because you have to or because you choose to or out of boredom or some... maybe a combination of both? Probably a combination. If I'm not with a woman at the time, then I have to do that at least once a day. When you say have to, what do you mean you have to? Okay. Well... You're not court ordered. No. And also, have you ever gone a day without masturbating as an adult? Well, what I mean is I'm either masturbating or I'm having sex with a woman. Let me ask you this. Have you ever gone a day without masturbating as an adult? No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. young young guys like i was surprised like early 20s i can say that kind of young who have just they've said no they've gone they've given a challenge they've taken on a challenge of not doing it for for some of these guys it's a week for some it's um i there are guys doing it for 90 days wow yeah now i want to challenge you jeremy okay you have a girlfriend correct yes what do you think what's the longest you think you could go without if you have a girlfriend i want to see how long can you go a week without pleasuring yourself with but are you saying uh without masturbation but i can still have sex with my girl you can have sex with your girlfriend but i'm talking specifically masturbation can you go a week i could if i can have sex with my girlfriend i'm challenging you right now to go a week you can have sex with your girlfriend but i want to see what you are like in a week you're going to be a monster yeah i'll be a wreck you think you're addicted i don't know i listened very closely to that show and it was very interesting and and the idea you know the idea of me being a sex addict definitely crossed my mind well that's you know what i'm that's a real um honest answer i love that that you got some information from that yeah from that episode um i think there are a lot of people who have struggle with that and anytime uh one of the reasons i'm not looking at pornography is because um because i don't want to be a sex addict i'm not looking at pornography because i don't want to be a sex addict i want to be uh for lots of reasons one i don't i don't like what it does to me i find and what do you mean by that well i think i i think that pornography makes and i don't think it's just me i'm not unique in this manner uh it makes someone hypersexual as far as uh when you're walking around you're you're there's more of a sex drive there's more of like i'm noticing women more right you know it's like a heightened sense of awareness right and also i don't i think that for you and i'm not i don't want to i'm not judging you i'm just sharing my experience if you're in a relationship if you're looking at pornography it really makes the woman you're with it's hard to appreciate her all her beauty and what she offers you because with the pornography you're getting a a sense of of not the real world it's all pixels on a screen right and it took me uh it was a revelation to me and i'm not judging you i'm just sharing my experience if you're in a relationship with a woman you're not judging you i'm not judging you i'm just sharing my experience to me actually to think of it this way but that looking at pornography for me my view is cheating on my girl and and so when did you actually come to this conclusion how long have you gone without the pornography um i went once a year and a half i've gone different spans of time you know and i think um right now i'm kind of i feel like it's you know i'm kind of over the whole thing i i when i was sharing with and again if you if you haven't heard this interview it's really fascinating with um this uh sex addiction uh guy uh tim debbit he talked about we talked about how the brain you know this is new science sure that was very interesting i really like that part of the interview that the brain changes it actually changes from uh from looking at pornography neural pathways in the brain the um what we find a turn on can change by what we look at and so much like a smoker quitting smoking the lungs can heal so can this be with people who have created these neural pathways in porn with pornography and you know i shared in that show and i don't know if you've done any follow-up on this jeremy but and this is where like when you're in a relationship what happens is guys like you who are in relationships if uh if they're looking at so much porn it sounds like you've got it somewhat under control but uh they're what they what they consider to be a turn on is the fact that they're not in a relationship with a woman so over the top because they've been so desensitized about sex that a real woman just doesn't do it anymore right have you ever had that well i have definitely noticed that uh what it takes to to turn me on has definitely um exceeded what it was a few years ago even so yeah there's definitely a correlation there you know when you look at pornography they're just going straight at the hardcore sex whereas you know with when you're with a woman you know there's there's you work up to it you you know the foreplay is completely taken out of pornography in a lot of cases so yeah i i can definitely understand what you're saying and and i agree with it i mean you're in an exciting time right now because i've met your girlfriend she's really nice thanks yeah and she's um seems like she really likes you you guys seem to get along really well and uh you know if you were it'd be really interesting as an experiment i don't even have to know about it it's not really of course it's none of my business but for yourself it'd be an interesting personal experiment to get away from all porn while you're dating her and if you know assuming this is a long-term relationship that could maybe it's someone you're with forever i don't know but uh see how the relationship changes and see how your intimacy with her changes because it's gonna change and my i would be shocked to see that and i would be shocked to see that if it didn't i'm gonna take that challenge i'm gonna refrain from pornography and see what happens yeah i think that i i hope that we don't have to do it on the air you don't have to share the results of your experience your experiment but perhaps if you're not comfortable on you know on the air we can talk privately because i am really going to be curious and i appreciate you being so open about this and you're like a you're like a live lab rat right now now are you gonna what about masturbation are you gonna include that while you're dating her you know the great thing about my my girlfriend is that she really does love sex so um when we're with each other so far and it's a fairly new relationship so you know let's see what happens a month or two down the road but so far you know if i'm with her having sex isn't an issue so really the pornography and the masturbation have have uh gone down quite considerably since i've been with her well that's great and you know you're you're at the age i think like when you first were exposed to pornography it was printed stuff right yeah definitely yeah i mean because the thing that's really crazy is a lot of you listening uh you grew up at a time more recently like your first exposure to sex was through porn online yeah and you talk about those neural pathways you know they've been formed so early and what i loved about that interview um that's just been sticking with me is the idea that we see if we were to look at pornography um and one day we see more visual stimulation than a caveman would see in a lifetime and the way the brain works is when it looks at that stuff the way we are wired the brain isn't so smart it thinks like that's someone to mate with interesting so the brain every image is another opportunity to create and so what so the the brain wasn't meant to be that overloaded and that's where when guys are you know then then guys need to see more and more harsh stuff in order to have an orgasm and then eventually you know like i said the sweet nice sexy girlfriend just can't do it anymore right and uh that's really a shame it's it's uh they're saying it's kind of like an epidemic what's going on no one talks about it yeah it makes sense i mean i you know i can tell that when i haven't had sex in a few days or haven't masturbated in a few days um like you said you would look at women on the street more or something you know and i've experienced that for sure what's really fascinating and this would be an amazing challenge for you is to go um 30 days with no sex at all that no orgasm no porn yeah nothing i would probably be a frustrated man yes right yeah no one's died from blue balls and i remember the doctor saying that or or uh i don't know if he's a he's like a he's a therapist slash coach more of a coach in this area addiction counselor how long have you gone without an orgasm uh how long have we been talking you know they know that that's a great question i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i would say i've gone 30 some days now you say you don't look at porn right so are you saying that the only time you have an orgasm is when you're having real sex no i mean i would have uh i would make love to myself but no porn how do you stimulate yourself well there's i believe that there's something called healthy masturbation okay not to say i'm not trying to uh demonize porn it you know used in a healthy way with a you know i'm sure there are ways that pornography and that could be used uh like if you know a couple were using it together and they both were okay with what they were looking at and it wasn't interfering with their lives or it wasn't for long periods of time where it was interfering um but what i love about your question is is that you're it's unimaginable to you that a guy could masturbate without pornography it's almost to you probably i don't know if you've ever had a guy masturbate without pornography but it's almost to you like what's the point is that right i just i just think it it makes it more difficult so so are you saying that you you just straight up use your imagination yes and um if you refrain from having uh an orgasm you don't need porn if you go for periods of time if you don't if you weren't to do that every day the sensuality of you would be enough or you're experiencing your own sexuality not in a gay way like in the sense of like being turned on by a by your um excuse me like in the when i say gay i'm not trying to be derogative i mean not in a like a homosexual way like but the essence of who you are as a human being i mean you can i believe one can experience sexuality with themselves for self in a way that's healthy that's a very enlightened perception well i think it's it's the truth from my own experience and you know it's it's a really healthy it's a really interesting way to go about it because it does leave that space for someone special in your life and you know ultimately aren't aren't we the most special person in our life i mean we're i mean not in an egotistical way but we're with ourselves all the time sure yeah i like this question this guy he kind of opened up a whole can of worms here yeah wow good question it's a great question because i'm actually this is something i'm really passionate about and i'd love to have him back on the show you know why i'm passionate about it because i see how it's a problem and i see how a lot a lot of people not a lot of people are talking about it and i don't think it's a joke and i think that what the definition of being a man is not about going to strip clubs, what's popularized in our pop culture. There's no integrity in going to a strip club and giving dollar bills to some woman to take her clothes off. Most of the time when I've gone to a strip club, I end up leaving with regret. Yeah, and that doesn't surprise me. And I appreciate you being honest about that. But yeah, what's great about, what I love about aging and experiencing life is that I have the opportunity to change from my experience. I got married when I was 30. And we went to the strip club. No, we didn't go to strip club. We had a hotel room in Beverly Hills, like 50, 60 guys. We had two lesbians come in with all their toys and they did their thing. Very cliched bachelor party kind of stuff. Right. Then I had another person come in and then I think I had a third. And that's where I was a long time ago. And then, not that long ago, but then I realized through life that, and you know, this, it's not, it's not that, it's not cool. It's, it's, it creates a barrier for intimacy. You know, and the irony is that that was a, that's supposed to be, this is what I don't get. And I get it, but I don't get it. It's a bachelor party. A bachelor, really? That's how you prepare to become a man of integrity and therefore your future wife is to go look at women, naked, give them money and sexualize them. And that's somehow considered cool. Yeah. That's a really confusing thing. The whole bachelor party experience, because you were acting out a sexual fantasy that you obviously aren't getting from your future wife. And that to me in itself is an issue. Right. If you're going to commit yourself to a woman, you should do it in a, with a woman where you can explore those things in a safe environment that you're both comfortable with. I think you're totally right. Yeah. You know, the problem is that, well, there are lots of problems. You know, one of the thing is guys, um, guys go to strip clubs because they want to feel, they want to be turned on. They want to see naked women. And they also have a sense of being powerful. In my opinion, of course, because when you, you walk into a strip club, you appear to be the king and it plays into a fantasy of having lots of women to choose from your harem who you can, who will do anything for you. Now, the fact that there's money involved, Hey, that just happens to be part of it. But most guys think girls kind of into me. How many guys you hear talk about how, Oh my God, that girl was really into me. Yeah. It's all fantasy. Complete fantasy. Yeah. Right. And so, um, I mean, I get some people will go to strip club periodically. And again, I'm not trying to make this into a be all, I don't know. I sound pretty maybe a hardcore here about this stuff, but you know, I think in moderation, if someone's curious to go to strip club or it turns out they're going, you know, for something, I don't even know the situation. I don't go to strip clubs because I just, like I said, I don't want to be a part of that world. Right. And, um, you know, why do you go to strip clubs, Jeremy? Well, you know, I, I think it's a lot of the reasons that you're highlighting. You want to go and you want to get turned on the, there is a certain deviance to going to a strip club that, that if you're already down that path, you know, it kind of stimulates those areas of your, your sexual brain. But, you know, um, I've never been one of those guys to fool me. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, thinking that a stripper is into me, I've talked to too many strippers and, uh, they know what they're doing. And the last thing they want to do is go out with most of the guys that would go see them at a strip club. Oh, yeah. It's pretty funny. When I was, um, when I was engaged and we were talking about the bachelor party and now who I was married, she's a really cool girl and woman. And so she was, not really too demanding about things and was fine with it, at least outwardly appearing. But I, you know, looking back, I think that, again, now who I am, I wouldn't allow that to go on. But I remember she said this was, I remember thinking, she said something, she didn't like porn and that kind of thing. And I remember thinking like, really, like you're going to be in charge of my penis? And I was indignant. That just seemed wrong. Like, how dare you? And, you know, now it's not about a penis. It's about the feeling of having a partner who's available for intimacy. And how would any woman, I don't know how any woman would feel good about their husband looking at pornography. All the time. It's not a small thing, you ladies listening, in my opinion. I understand guys will sometimes look at it and, hey, you know what? It can be healthy, I suppose, in some regard. But if it's a thing that's happening all the time and it's secretive, hey, anything, and you guys, some of you guys aren't going to like this, but anything that you are reading, looking at, anything you're viewing. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. I'm agreeing with you. I mean, when you start adding up the number of things that you have to keep secret from your relationship, then, you know, something's wrong. You know, it's interesting, Jeremy. You said you looked 15 minutes the other day. You know, if we took out a calculator and we were to add up 15 minutes a week, you know, we're talking an hour, almost two hours. Let's just even it out, two hours a week. Yeah. You know, and that's 104 hours in a year. And, you know, what's five, let's say five years. What's 500, how many? I don't even know. I don't want to spend the time. It's a lot of time, yeah. Right. And for what? It's all just to disappear and to go away and not to, you know, I would love it if someone called to argue with me around this because it would be fun. Because the argument could be made, hey, you know, some people drink and you smoke. Yeah. But this is a little different because if I want to be, you know, unless, hey, if you want to be a hermit and not have a relationship, go at it. You know, but I also believe that the most important relationship in the world is a relationship with myself. And even that gets damaged, affected, destroyed. Because what happens when people are acting out like that, Jeremy? Where are they usually doing it? I don't know. Privately, right? I mean. In the dark. In the dark and. Late at night. Yeah. Alone. Screen shining on their face. Right. That's it. Yeah. No connection to the real world. Hey, you know, I get it. I've, you know, like phone sex or Skyping, cyber sex. I used to do. I used to do cyber sex years ago. Yeah. Years ago. That was good. I'm a good writer. Yeah. You talk about, I mean. I could never get into cyber sex for some reason. That just seemed strange to me. Now to be clear, when I say cyber sex, I'm talking writing it out. Sure. What are you doing? What are you wearing? And then getting into the specifics of a scenario, whatever. But you don't even know, not only do you, you don't know who you're talking to, but you don't even know if it's a man or a woman, where they are. But don't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That I see a little differently because there's a certain level of freedom in that, right? Because it's almost like, it's like reading a book. You're writing things out. You can create the scenario in your mind. At that point, does it even matter who it is? I think it does. I suppose you're right. It doesn't in a sense of it's not intimate regardless. When I was, I'm going to share something that's very personal. When I was married, I had cyber sex. Yeah? Yeah. A couple times. A couple hundred times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, not a couple hundred times. I'm kidding. But, you know, and again, that was then. I don't do that. But, do you, Matt, I mean, like, I didn't think that was cheating. I didn't know who it was. Didn't know where they were. Didn't have their phone number. Just anonymously getting off. Yeah. Do you think that's cheating? Yeah, I do, actually. I do think that that's cheating because you're seeking something out elsewhere that, you know. Were you doing that because there was something deficient in your relationship with your wife? Well, here's the point. That's a great question because was there something deficient? Was the deficiency in that I was doing that that was creating the deficiency? That's true. Or was there, this is the thing I love about what you're talking about. Lots of guys, and this is really important. You guys, a lot of you guys who have a really bad sex life with your partner and you go to porn, you say, the reason I go is he or she made me because my sex life sucks. You know why your sex life may suck? Because you suck. And I don't mean that like I'm trying to attack you, but if you're getting it somewhere else where you, somewhere else, you think that makes you attractive to a partner? No. I wouldn't want to do any, I wouldn't want anything to do with my, if I were dating a woman or married or whatever, if she were looking at guys all night in the office and then crawls in bed with me, I would say, fuck, I don't want anything to do with you really. Sure. That's not, that's not exactly. Um, uh, what do you call it? I was going to say, um, what did, what do cats like? Catnip? Yeah. Not catnip. Dear lady. That's not catnip to your lady to go, your woman, to be, you know, looking at porn all the time. But that's a problem. You know, if you've got, if you have a problem in your relationship, what that means to me is you have a problem in your relationship. Figure out what that problem is. Right. But it doesn't mean I have a problem in my relationship, so I'm going to then go to pornography as a way to. Yeah. Take care of it. That's just not, that's not going to help anything. But I, I guarantee you there are a lot of relationships that suffer because of that kind of thinking. Definitely. Have you had that before? Yeah, I, I definitely think I have. I mean, you know, every relationship is got some issue, you know, you can't expect to get into a relationship without it. But, you know, what I'm realizing as I get older is that I just need to do a better, better job with my expectations out of a relationship. And if I'm a guy who likes to have sex often, I should wait for a woman who enjoys to have sex often. If I get into a relationship knowing that a woman, you know, for whatever her reasons are, does not like to have frequent sex on a regular basis, I'm going to have a problem in that relationship. And I shouldn't have been in it in the first place. That is correct. And if you discover that you, in my opinion, again, this is, ah, this is my opinion. If you discover that you have a problem in that relationship, then in my opinion, then you want, you leave it. Right. But what guys do is they have an issue in the relationship and they don't address the issue. They go medicate, disappear, get their needs met on online or cyber sex or, you know, the other thing. And, and this is really why, um, why I'm so passionate about it is because in our culture, this is all okay. Like this whole, what's it called? Is it Dolly Madison? I always get it confused. Oh, uh, I always say Holly Madison. Is it Holly or it's that site where, you know, cheating is okay. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. Really cheating is okay. That's cool. I mean, they encourage it. Those, that, that website is interesting. Yeah. I don't know. Tell me that. Well, I don't want to promote it, but if you, if it hits you, uh, Jeremy, let me know if you find it. Like if you got to cheat. Then just get high. Yeah. Get out of the relationship. But yeah, it's, it's like really cool because right now we live in a world that just was non-existent 15 years ago or 10 years ago. There was no such thing as sexting. Yeah. It's called Ashley Madison. Ashley Madison. Dolly Madison is something totally different. I think it's a, it's a baked good and historic whatever. But um, yeah, Ashley Madison and their, and their slogan is something like, uh, what's her slogan? What is their slogan? Life is short. Have an affair. Yeah. That's wonderful. Well, Hey Jeremy, it's been great talking to you through most of the show. I've learned a lot and I'm looking forward to getting a report on, uh, how that goes for you. We said a week. One week. I'll, I'll give it a try. No self pleasure. No self pleasure for a week. Okay. And I want to thank all of you who've been calling, who called in. I apologize. I know a lot of you've tried. We had a lot of calls here on the phone bank. Yeah. I had a little bit of a snafu with, uh, with the phones. Yeah. So I apologize for that. Hopefully, um, that won't be an issue in the future. Um, but we'll get right on that. Yeah. And thank you for, uh, for trying. Cause I saw a lot of you online, um, and then trying to call back and I'm sure that must have been frustrating. So thank you, Jeremy. Thank all of you for listening and I look forward to seeing you all here again on Vic Cohen's. That's me. It's a fair question. I'm Vic Cohen. And it's a fair question here. I'm vic Cohen and it's a fair question here. I'm vic Cohen and it's a fair question here in it. Okay. Thanks for listening to this podcast. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself. Be good to yourself.