Drought, LA tips, and moving advice with Candice

If you had brain 1 in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in Southern California's beautiful San Fernando Valley. Bring me some water, can't you see it's out of control? Baby's got my heart and my baby's got my mind, but tonight the sweet devil, sweet devil's got my soul. Hello world, this is Chris Abalo's podcast experiment and I am Chris Abalo. Welcome to the show, which is brought to you by audible.com. The internet's leading provider of digital audio books with over 180,000 titles across all genres. They have everything you could be looking for. And for listeners and viewers of Cape, audible is offering you a free, free, free, free, free audio book download and a free 30 day trial so you can try out their service, see what it's all about. I just finished today, listened to it over the weekend. Daddy, stop talking. I'm in love with it. Love getting my audio books every month. It's a blast. And welcome back to the show, of course, Candice Feltz. Hello. Hello, darling. How are you? I'm lovely. How are you? I'm fantastic. Thank you for having me yet again. Of course. Episode 52, which if this was a weekly show would be a year, but the show's actually been going on for over two years, but you know. Let's just celebrate anyway. Yeah, we're going to celebrate anyway. Just celebrate everything. Hooray. Yeah. Where's your sound effects today? They're not working today. Oh, geez. I think somebody comes in and is just like, they think they're so funny. Turns them off. I'm just going to unplug the soundboard because I tried before and I don't want to reference it. If something doesn't work, I try to maintain some air of professionalism. Right, of course. So I'm like, and there's the clients not working. Well, damn. So. Well, I just blew that secret out of the water. Sorry about that. No, that's okay. You know what's funny? The more I've been incorporating these in week to week, the more I want to bring my own in. So I got to figure out. I have a bunch. I've accumulated some and I want to add my own effects onto here to have at my disposal. So we'll see what happens. Well, you know the perfect night. The perfect night for that would be when the three of us come and make another shit show. Yeah. Because if it doesn't work out, then it's already a mess, right? Then it's okay. We'll fill the time. Exactly. Tentatively, June 29th, as of now, by the way, folks, if you were devotees of myself, Candice, Norman, and John, we should all be together again on the 29th. But of course, Cape goes on every Monday regardless. Speaking of which, I brought this up when just John and Norman were on, when you were caught in unsurprising LA traffic. Surprise. Surprise. We don't have a name for the four of us. I know we have to come up with something. We have to come up with something to refer. Because I'm like, awesome, foursome, A-team, like something. Because since we're doing it on a regular basis, I think we need a group name. We do. You got anything? I've been thinking about this for five months because we've been doing the show that long. And I'm like, I got nothing. I got nothing right now. All right. The only thing that's in my brain is just like the shit show because the four of us together. It just really does this side of the table. I'm just like in a constant state of. What is happening? A panic. Yeah. But I will force Norman to drink a bottle of wine and he'll come up with something. Okay. You don't need to force Norman to drink a bottle of wine. That's a fair point. You'd have to force him to not drink a bottle of wine. It'd be more like, could you be sober and come up with this and see what happens? No. No. So I'll talk to him and see if he can come up with something. Okay. You know, because I'm not leaving it to John. He'll come up with some stupid ass pun. Well, he did that night. He said the Norman. But I was like that. That doesn't count. I know. It doesn't count because you're here. Normally you're there. Just that night. It was fine. But. Right. That night works fine. But when it's the four of us, we need a name. Yeah. It can't be the sausage party because you're lacking the aforementioned sausage. Yeah. So. And have no interest in it anyway. So it's like. No. Yeah. There's nothing we can do with that name. We could have some more fabulous viewers to come up with something. There's a point. Yeah. If you have suggestions. Legit suggestions, guys. Yeah. Not real ones like the four dildos or something. Yeah. Give us something with a little bit of an element of like a superhero vibe. Yeah. Like there's the Avengers. There's the Justice League. What are we? Give us something like that. Tweet at Kate Pod, by the way, which you can follow us on Twitter and Instagram at Kate Pod. KatePod.tumblr.com as well. And Chris Ball's podcast experiment on Facebook. Please give the show the thumbs up. And I always forget to plug everything. So I'm going to take a moment to do that. Do it. I always remember to plug Audible because they help us pay the bills around here. But iTunes. Of course. Of course. You can subscribe. Please click five stars. Give the show five stars. Helps the show get recommended. Helps spread the word. You can subscribe to the show on, of course, iTunes and YouTube as well, which you can get the links at chrisaballo.com. Don't have a custom URL yet for YouTube because they need to, you need to have, I think it's 500 subscribers or something like that before you can customize your URL. It didn't used to be that way, but they've made modifications over time. Oh, now they're fancy. So yeah. Not yet. It's going to have, we're going to hit 500 subscribers in no time. So everybody go. Go subscribe. Yeah. Go subscribe. Listen, do all the things. It's a, the channel is half-assed media. So there you go. That's if that helps you find it. But once again, all links at chrisaballo.com and yeah, or email the show also forget that one. Um, cape the podcast at gmail.com and uh, oh, we should get to plug live. I said, we have a lot of live viewers tonight. So welcome everybody. Hey. Hey guys. Hey everybody. I wore purple too. Thanks for, is it? Well, hopefully it's showing up as per, it could just be brown. It could be. Well, the thing is, is like the light. Okay. Like I'm a ghost because of how pale I am. Like this is not great for my skin. So really you just see my shirt. If you can see me, Hey, if not, you're just looking at a shirt. Well, from the host cam, if you look at me, then it's just the double chin cam. You have a double chin cam and I am like Casper. Yeah, that's about right. Which is appropriate given that it was just the 20th anniversary. So true. Well, I look last week, Dale Turner was in here. He just looked like a ghost. He looked like an alien in glasses with like, it was just a really white head floating on a flannel shirt. It was, it was kind of weird watching the video back like Jesus Christ. But anyway. Follow, like, do all the things. Yes. And, and always tune in live, by the way, if you catch up, a lot of people catch up on iTunes. Actually, that, that seems to be where the majority of the audience does. They catch the audio version on iTunes. If you want to tune in live video and audio, skidrowstudios.com, 9pm Pacific time, midnight Eastern. And you can, you can watch the video. You can watch the video. You can watch and listen to the show live. And then it'll be up on YouTube and iTunes by Wednesday. Usually goes up Tuesday, Wednesday. That is, of course, at the, not in a, in a, in a derogatory way, at the mercy of Skidrow Studios, which I actually do want to talk because people have asked about the show, especially local entertainers, Los Angeles based entertainers and creatives. I honestly, I love coming here. And that's the reason we're still doing the show here. Yeah. Is that it's a great place to be. Yeah. It's as you can see, if you're watching, if you check out the video, this is a legit radio studio. It is. And we can come in here and just do the show. And that's it. There's completely hands off with the tech work, which I'm happy to do. There's no kind of post-production that goes on. Cheyenne in the booth. Yeah. Cheyenne, one of the unsung heroes of Kate. Hey girl. Who handles the audio and the video. And then the studio makes sure it goes up on all resources, except YouTube, which is posted manually by the, by those who work. To use the term loosely at half ass media. We put the show up manually on YouTube, but otherwise iTunes and Stitcher that is done by a Skid Row. So if you go to skid row studios.com, there's 20 something shows, maybe almost 30 at this point that they have like audible.com across all genres. They do though. They have a lot of different shows. You could check out all sorts of stuff in there. Live broadcasting most days of the week with a different audio and video experiences. And of course a huge catalog of shows that have been here. Some well, I should say most, I think are still here. So if you're interested, go to skid row studios.com. You can of course, reserves to do a time and contact them and get all the details. But I love coming here and there, there are a lot of choices in Los Angeles. Honestly, there are a lot of studios that do the streaming audio and streaming video. And I still choose to come here because I like doing it here. I do. I genuinely like the studio. Good people. Great. So that's why we keep coming back week after week and keep... Annoying Cheyenne. Thank you. Pretty much. Pretty much. You know you're doing a show tonight, right? Yes, Cheyenne. Thank you. I'll be there. Are you going to be there? See tonight though, she was probably at least a little bit edgy. I'm not trying to embarrass you. She was probably slightly edgy because I thought I had a genius moment of, you might not like this. I thought it was quite brilliant. Oh, I love when you start things off, you might not like this. Anything that comes with a disclaimer is automatically going to be trouble. Yeah. It's always like, oh. Yeah. Because I thought, all right, we're going to talk a little bit about the Southern California drought and Candace is going to be on. So I thought the double whammy, I shouldn't be pointing this out. Maybe it's pointing out the joke isn't, maybe it deflates it a bit. But I thought not only is a song that's let off the show called Bring Me Some Water, but sung by Melissa Etheridge, noted lesbian. A giant lesbian. Yeah. So I thought that's brilliant. What a double... And I thought of that at, I don't know how late it was and I thought, oh, I'm clearing everything out. It's like every time you can connect anything to like a famous lesbian and I'm on the show, you're like, yes. Like you're going to get like a unicorn from the sky. Well, I'm not saying I would have found a Melissa Etheridge or Indigo Girls song or... Tegan and Sara. Yeah. I'm not saying they were at the ready. Right. But I thought, because I was thinking, what's up? I thought California, like California Dreamin', too cheesy, too obvious. Too obvious. So I thought, well, what else? What should I do? And then I thought, are there any songs really about water that aren't like instrumental, like hippie sounding kind of songs? And I thought, bring me some water. Oh, that's a good one. Melissa Etheridge. Oh, that's too good to pass up. Even though it's about a lover cheating on her with somebody else, it's still like, bring me some water. We don't have any water here. Which... Which we don't. We don't. We don't. I don't know if you saw that photo I put on Instagram today. I stole it. Yeah, I did. No, you didn't steal it because you gave me photo credit, so it's fine. I did. I did. I think it's appropriate because... Yeah. It's a serious... Like people say like, oh, California drought. No, it actually is a serious thing. It's getting kind of ridiculous. Yeah, you can't just get water at restaurants anymore. No. That's a super first world bitch right there that I'm doing, but you have to ask for it specifically and I had a little sign that says like... It's on the... I'll pull it up. Because of the California drought or something like that, water is only given upon request. Yeah. And this is probably the second... Maybe third restaurant I've been to that's had one of these and one of them, the waitress said, I'm sorry, but because of the drought, we can't bring you water unless you ask for it. Nice of her to point it out. And you have to ask for a refill. And I was like, okay. Wow. Well, can you bring me a cup and I'm going to have some more things. Well, think especially out here when people expect a lot. Well, everyone expects a lot of everything. Well, in general, but I mean, yeah, as far as like water, where's the water? Do... I mean, there's a sign that you put out there, which you can also find at kpod on Instagram or at Leshark26, which is Candace's account. She's tagged in this though. So go to kpod first and follow that. Anyway, due to the drought in California, we will not be serving water unless it is upon request. Thanks so much for your cooperation. Smiley face. That was at a bar. Really? Yeah. Is that for water or a bar? An Irish pub. I did actually. Oh, did you? To be fair, we had been walking around downtown for like six hours before that. All right. I was a little thirsty and wanted just a sip or two before I had to Guinness. Ah. Well, all right. If you're going to drink, it is a good idea to fill, you know, work some water in there somehow. I mean, whatever. The Irish would be ashamed of me for doing that, but that's fine. Are you Irish? Yeah. You have Irish roots? Oh yeah. Nice. Very. I mean, I don't look like a ghost for nothing. All right. Touche. Yeah. I mean, that's really all it is. Wait a minute. You're Caucasian? Surprise. Mind blown. By my ethnicity. Yeah. Yeah. We were walking around and we decided to go have a Guinness to celebrate Ireland voting. Voting for what? Just kidding. The Homos can get married in Ireland. Congrats! Her words, not mine. I said it cause I'm a Homos, that's fine. You can say it. That's fine. I call people Bacia Galup cause I'm Italian, but you know- I don't know what that means! Neither do I! Can I say it cause I'm marrying an Italian? Ah! Does that make me Italian by proxy? I don't know! See, I'd hate to, because my parents are back in Jersey and it's after midnight. Although granted, they're probably watching Jimmy Kimmel because they're a bigger fan of him than me. So they're not watching this right now. That is rude, parents. No, it's not. I don't expect them to stay up for a month. A little Chris goes a long way. Take it from me. I believe that. Yeah. So they don't need, no. No, they don't need any more of me than they already had. Even with a 3,000 mile gap. Yeah. Yeah. So otherwise I would call and ask him. I'm not sure what botched glute means. Hopefully it's not incredibly insensitive, but I don't want to interrupt Jimmy Kimmel. They probably won't answer the phone. No, I'm kidding. It's after midnight. They'll assume it's an emergency, but I'll be like, ah, you're on the air. Oh, don't do that. Because I don't know. And then freak out. Your mom would be like, Chris. I don't know what this means. I wonder, if my father answered, I wonder if it would throw him because, and this isn't an insult to him at all. I just don't think he gets the podcasting thing. Just tell him it's like radio. I told him that. I don't think he gets it. I'm not sure of the spelling. Otherwise I'd say we should look it up. Find it out. But I mean, you could try. Just try to Google it. Google's good. It'll come up with something. Botched glute. Try B-A-C-H-G. Or B-A-C-C. Is it an Italian slur? I don't, it could be the most hateful thing. It probably is. It probably is. I'm getting a lot of angry tweets. Did you look that up or you had the inside track? It came up on Google. Oh, that's, yeah, it's not the same thing. Stop for us to find out. That's not the same thing. That's not the same thing. Again, Skid Row Studios, everybody. You got to come here. Look at this. I don't even need to do, you and I just talk and she's doing the leg work. The entire, do you remember the first time we did this with the four of us and she like Googled Fern Gully? She was Johnny on the spot with Fern Gully. She pulled up IMDB. There's a TV over here and she like pulled it up and we were like, what? Yep. It was like magic. And last time you were here, I am every woman. I couldn't pull it up on my phone. She pulls it up and it swells in just in time. And it had, it just gave me life in that moment. For you to prostitue. Yeah, that was so good. And yeah, there we go. Cheyenne. She's the winner. Cheyenne, everybody. Like I said, the unsung hero of the show. If she wasn't in there, she'd be in here, but we need someone to operate the technical stuff because we don't know what we're doing in here, let alone in there. I can't even wear the headphones, right? It's because I have a small head. I've debated wearing the headphones at all. But because I like to be, well, first of all, they do need to communicate. Well, you have to hear her. Right. In Mission Control. So I thought about going with one ear because it'd be weird. Because I've also had people because my, if you can see this. I don't know if you can on the video, how good the resolution is. If you can see that my left ear is pierced twice. And there are a few photos, including photos from the Only Podcast That Matters era with me having my, what's so funny? Are you? Cheyenne's cracking up. You said that like, it was like, my ear is pierced twice. No, well, I have two holes in the one ear. That's what she said. And that doesn't add up. It doesn't matter. It doesn't. Well, people said, oh, you should wear them on the show. And I said, well, I'm wearing the cans. Nobody can tell. You can't. Yeah. Or I can just go like with one ear on the headphones and then people can see the earrings. It's nothing special. Just me with two little hoops in my ear. I like the idea of like one ear off, but because it's a nice sound. In theory, it's a good idea. But my head is too small. Boy, aren't the people who tuned in to hear drought just disappointed. I know, they're super boring. Anyway, guys, there's a drought. 22 minutes in. Yeah. There's a drought. There's a drought in Southern California. And there's flooding in Texas and Oklahoma, which is weird and oxymoronic. Yeah. Yeah. What is that about? You're adjusting your headphones now because it's... Yeah, because they were falling off. It doesn't take long. Because they were falling off of my small head. I've noticed watching the video play, which I don't do much, but I will check it sometimes. Also do an air check, make sure I don't have any crazy verbal tics or whatever. I talk my hands a lot, which always annoys me, but I can't help it. I'm always adjusting my headphones. I always got one hand on the mic. You do that, yeah. Yeah, because I'm always fucking with the mic position, but that's because I'm moving around. Yeah. But there we go. I'm a hand talker generally, but here I just hold on to this weirdly. Not because it's phallic. That's why. No. That has nothing to do with it. Nope. Not at all. Cold steel, not hot meat. And speaking of hot, drought. Drought. Yeah, drought. So here's the thing. This weekend, I ventured from the valley down to Culver City. Nice. Yes, and I did not take the highway because, surprise, it's LA, and even though it was Saturday, there was traffic everywhere. What? It's just insane. Not the LA I know. So we drive down canyon roads and stuff, you know? And we had a car. We went through Beverly Hills. And the one thing I noticed is we're like, valley, down the canyons. It's all dry. It looks like the damn Mad Max wasteland. Yeah. And then we hit Beverly Hills, and the shit is green. Yeah, it's green as can be. And I'm just thinking that number one on the drought list is that we find like 50 celebrities and ring them out because apparently they need more water than the average person. So they're holding extra. Do you think they're having water like air dropped in? Um. From somewhere? No. You think they have a pipeline from Vancouver? Uh, yeah. Okay. That's what that, that, that, uh, XL Keystone is actually about water to the celebrities, not oil straight from Canada to Mexico. They pay the taxes though. They get a leg up when it comes to that kind of service. I, I mean, in theory. I mean. Look, I don't, I don't have any proof that I can whip out for the cameras, but in theory they do. Here's what I'm just thinking. That's just my guess. Yes. Yes. Their lawns are definitely greener than anything I've seen in LA. So I'm just thinking like, I just read something that they said the farmers are now having to do. They all had to like sign paperwork that they have to reduce their water usage by 25%. Wow. So I think our number one thing, this is my only serious suggestion, is Beverly Hills needs to cut back as well because they're the only people in this damn city that have any greenery. And fracking. The fracking industry needs to take a hit. But they won't. You mean start fracking? No. Stop fracking. Okay. Or use 25% less water. I see. And then the farmers can use that so we can all eat for like, you know, otherwise like a pound of green beans is going to cost us like $30 in a month. How many of those said celebrities do you think are using Avion to wash their cars? Like all of them. Yeah. I would, I would think so. Because I know some have said the water in LA sucks. So they use Avion to like wash their face, which I, have you noticed that coming here? You've come here fairly recently too. Let me tell you something. Yeah. They shut off the water in our building last weekend to do some plumbing repairs. And ever since then, literally like, and I clean my house every week, but within two days of I clean the toilet, I clean the sink, I clean everything. I had like a pink rim around like my toilet bowl on the inside, my shower drain and my sink drain within like two days of them doing water. And my fiance and I were like, um. Something's up. No, I'm concerned. There's something with the water. Because I do. I do that too. I live alone and I still get the pink ring after like five days. I usually clean Sundays. It's kind of become a routine for me. Me too. So I'll put my headphones on, listen to an audio book from audible.com, audibletrial.com slash cape and, or a podcast and, uh, or music. Hey, imagine that. And just clean the apartment, clean the tub and clean the toilet and clean. If there are any lingering dishes from the week, which sometimes there are. Be an adult. Sure. And take care of that. And I've noticed the same thing or same thing in the, in the shower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. after just a week. That's interesting. But there's an odd taste too. It sounds silly. You notice it too? It does. And here's when I noticed it the most. I froze, okay, so I had ice cubes and I had like half a bottle of water and I put like three ice cubes in it and they melted. And then I took a drink and I was like, what the hell? Ew, it tastes like pond water. And I'm like, Aaron Brockovich was a real thing one time. Do we think that it could be a real thing again? What are we drinking? Tadpoles? Like what's happening? Well, I get the theory that, this is all very helpful. Let's talk about water when we don't have any. It's fine. But let's follow this comedic, this road to its end. Go. Until we've had enough. But there is, I understand the theory that the water that's tested every six and a half minutes by somebody who's got an eyedropper and putting it somewhere and making sure it's clean is better than the water that spent two days on a truck coming from another state that ends up, you know, in this aisle in Trader Joe's. I get that the water has X amount of regulation. I just wonder how the quality stacks up compared to other states. Because I'm, I mean, as it is, I'm pretty sure Los Angeles or California anyway is something like 54th in education out of 50 states. So I wouldn't guess that the water is doing that much better. So I'm kind of curious. I've lived in a lot of other states and I've never had like the dry skin itchiness that I've had living here. I'd agree with that. Definitely. And I drink more water here than I've ever had anywhere else I've lived. So like I'm hydrated, but like I have dry skin like crazy and I think it's because of the water. I think it's a conspiracy. I think it's probably cooked up between Bob Arrowhead and Jane Sephora to sell moisturizer and bottled water. Probably. How about that? And put that out there as a theory, people. I think that's a great theory. I think it works. That is what they're going to write for the new X-Files episode. It's a start. When it comes back. At minimum, it's a pilot. I'm just putting it out there on this June 1st, 2015 in case it shows up on Fox eventually. Just a little. Just a little conspiracy theory. Giving you a nugget to run with. It could happen. Big water is out. Big water is out to poison us. Big water and big moisturizer. Oh, God. Big lotion. We've taken a hard left here. Yeah. I suggest people go, if you want to wash your car, because apparently mayor, governor, some, I don't know. Whoever he is. They're all the same. What's his name? I don't know. I can Google Los Angeles. Who's the mayor? Who's our governor? A governor, mayor, somebody. I should know this. I should too. It's terrible, isn't it? I haven't voted in LA yet, so I don't know. I think it's Governor Brown. I think it's Governor Brown. I think it's the governor. Anyway. Anyway, he said stop washing your car. Stop washing your car, watering your lawn, and everything else. I suggest if you want your car washed, go to Vegas. Number one, any excuse to go to Vegas. Number two, who is it? Jerry Brown. Yeah. Okay, Governor Brown. We were right. Nice. We didn't have his name, his first name, but Governor Brown. Now we can just associate Governor Brown. Thanks, Cheyenne. Water is brown. There it is. Anyway. So, yeah, you go to Vegas. It's in the, here's the funniest thing because I was in Vegas recently. It's in the desert. Yes. And the water pressure is tremendous. It's amazing. Nevada's doing something, right? Yes, they are. And it's the fucking desert. Yeah. Can we get some of that action here? Can we get somebody from Nevada? I realize it sounds crazy. Let's get somebody from Vegas to help LA. Like, I'm just thinking, can we take all the water from the Bellagio fountain and put it somewhere in LA? Because that's got to be cleaner than the shit that we're dealing with here. I said that watching the fountain squirt and I leaned over and I said, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, it's kind of funny. Well, even when you go to like the Grove in Los Angeles, Hollywood, and I realize that's getting recycled to a degree, but it's like you watch a water show where fountains are moving along to some Frank Sinatra song and providing some lovely show and you think, oh, this is why the rest of the world hates America. Look at us. We have no water. Seriously, the reports I've seen of like a year of water left, something like that. And, ironically, as I said a few weeks ago on the show when I brought in a blue can of water that I got for doing a faux CPR program at work. It's a blue can of water good for 50 years. Ironically, we'll need it within a year because there'll be no water left or I gotta move elsewhere. Anywhere because I think everywhere is doing better than we are. But even just to Northern California. I mean, because they're definitely dry, but they're not like... They can probably build a pipeline easier to go to Canada or something. It rains all the time in Seattle. It rains way more in Northern California than it does here. That's true. If we could just get a day of rain, that would really do us a lot of good at this point. We can't even get an hour of rain. There's not really anything we can do. No. The last serious rainfall there was where it was like an actual rainstorm was last March. I was working outside that day, so I was like... I was walking around like Joe Pesci in Home Alone just going fucking... Because I couldn't curse because I was on the clock. And I have standards. Otherwise, you want to... When I do this, the bar is ankle high. But otherwise, when somebody else is paying me, I try to maintain some kind of professional demeanor. Thanks. My only other tip is shower with a friend. That'll save some water, right? Who better to take a shower with than a loved one? Well, not a loved one. Let's be specific. Your partner. Take a shower with them. Help each other get clean. Help each other. Don't take a shower with your dad if you're like 30. Or at all. It's weird. At any age, don't take a shower with your dad. Don't take a shower with your dad. I mean, yeah. We could all just stop showering. Smell like dirty people. Eventually, like, we'd all smell bad enough that we'd all just... But the hipsters already have the inside track on that. I don't want to join them. And I did walk past somebody the other day that had not showered in a long time. I mean, they smelled like urine. And it was not cute. So, I had someone say, because I'm one of these weirdos who shaves every day, I said, oh, well, you save water if you didn't shave every day. I'm like, right. Because me filling the sink once in the morning with, I don't know, 20 ounces of water is really going to save the rest of the city. That's it. Somebody said, well, don't shave for... I get the stupidest challenges because I... I don't like facial hair on me. Others like it. And I recently had a lazy couple of days where I had like, I don't know, four or five days when I didn't shave. I actually only shaved because I came here to do the show Monday. So, I think I shaved Monday after not shaving for almost a week. Since I think the last show I'd done. But it's just me. It's just my, how I look. So, I just always shave. So, I've had people, because I've talked about that, said, don't shave for like a week. Save some water. If people tell me to wear a hat, because I don't like hats, I may just go all in. Yeah, I don't like hats. What does that have to do with water? Especially on me. No, it doesn't. Just, I'm saying people throw stuff like that at me just because I criticize. Yeah. I was like, I'm not doing the math on that. I didn't say everything's related. I never said I was any good at this. Okay. I'm just telling you, people have said, don't shave, wear a hat. And I'm like, yeah, but that's too much hipster territory. I can wear my glasses too and put thicker rims on them and then I'm a full on hipster. Right. Nobody wants to see that. Wear tiny jeans. Yeah, no. Yes. Can't do it. Just do it. Nah. Like people have been like. I don't know, women storming the studio. Who said I'm wearing jeans at all? You can't tell from this angle. Gross. No, nobody can. Oh. It wouldn't bother, of anybody, it would have zero effect on you. True. You wouldn't mind if I rolled in here. With no pants on? Well, I wear boxers. I would like put your dick away, but fine. All right. I don't care. If people want to go without pants, I'm all for it. And these are all warnings. But if you're going without pants, I'm also going without pants. All right. I don't like wearing pants. I don't like wearing clothes, period. Clothes. But I'm at home, especially because I live alone, I'm naked as much as possible. Yeah. I don't live alone. I know. And that sucks, right? But it doesn't matter. No, it doesn't suck. She doesn't care if I don't wear clothes. True. She's actually. It's true. She's in favor of that option. Yeah, it's not a roommate. She's not upset about it. I'll bet. You have a nice body, though. What? I'm saying I could tell from just you have a nice body. Well, I work out. I know you do. I'm just. Well, stop working out because then you'll shower less and save water. I know. He's a terrible tip. Somebody said that to me the other day. They were like, just take a shower every other day. And I was like, oh, I work out every morning. Really? Every morning? Yeah. God. You don't want me to show up not showered. Yeah. It's not going to smell good. Like, it's just not. I don't think anybody smells good when they haven't showered. Exactly. But like, even worse when you've been sweating profusely for an hour. Oh, yeah. If you're going to get a workout in, you have to. I don't know. People say they like take shorter showers. I try. I'm trying to do that. I stopped washing my car. My car looks just a step away from Furiosa's truck at this point. Yeah, I believe it. I'm like washing my windows only at the gas station with the thing. Yeah, I did that too. That's it. And then I haven't washed my car. And I thought about it the other day. I'm like, oh, the car needs to be washed. And I was like, no. Yeah, we can. Save the water. I wonder if there's going to be a mandate to like shut down car washes. I thought about that. Then I thought, well, if he does that, they're going to have to pay those people that they put out of a job. Right? You would think. They should get some kind of government stipend. I mean, you'd have to. It wouldn't be very fair if they were like, you can't wash your car anymore. And all these people are like, uh. But at the same time, these businesses are losing money because it's like, sorry, we don't have enough water to help these people wash their cars. Right, exactly. But I somehow believe we also probably don't have enough money to do that. Probably not. If the water problem is not getting fixed. It's taking a depressing turn. It is. Let's switch rapidly to. Anyway, so the drought is a real thing. If you're out east, send us some water. We're thirsty. And if despite the drought, you're thinking about moving out here to Los Angeles, we have a couple of things we'd like to go over with you. Here's the first thing. Sure. I want you to do. Me personally? No, no. Oh, okay. You, the proverbial you. If you're thinking about moving to LA, I want you tomorrow. Bring water. Bring all of the water that you can find. Second off, when you're driving home from work tomorrow, when you reach your house, I want you to turn around, go back to your job, come back home, and then do that one more time to get you to spending that much time in your car. Oh, that's nothing. Because when I moved here, I came from Chicago for four and a half years of riding trains. To ride in a car for that long, you also need to get a prescription of Prozac. So those are two things on the list. Yeah. That I think. Well, people have said that because people complain about traffic out here in LA. And I say, yeah, I hate saying traffic sucks. And blah, blah, blah. Yeah, it's based in reality. But they said, what about public transportation? It exists. Does it? Not totally reliable. I did for a while when I first moved out here. Well, I was able to walk to school. I was a half mile away. Right. From school, which was fine. And while I was working, going to school, that was within my walk to school. So it was nearby. When I moved to Burbank and was commuting elsewhere, I took the bus for about six months and it was hit or miss. It was hit or miss. That one of the largest economies in the world, Los Angeles, and the bus is hit or miss. Kind of bad. Can I take a right turn here? Sure. When I lived in Chicago, I used to take public transportation all the time. Let me talk about something weird that I saw on the bus one time. Okay. My friend came to visit me and it was the first time she'd been to Chicago. So I'm taking her downtown. We're on the bus from my apartment. And this lady like walks up from the back and I'm thinking she's getting off the bus and she says something to the bus driver and then the bus driver pulls over. Like what's happening? Okay, whatever. We stopped the bus. We pull over. Bus driver's like, everybody off. We're like, that's weird. We have a destination to get to. This is not it. Can we, you know, whatever. Cops come, right? Cops are on the bus. Get off the bus. Get off the bus. What the hell is going on? I turn around. Dennis Hopper put a bomb in the bus. That's exactly. It's, this bus cannot go below 50 miles an hour. No, it was not speed. Damn. There was a homeless man in the back who was pleasuring himself with his situation out of his pants. And a lady was obviously not in on that situation. So she said something and the cops had to come and take him away. And so we're sitting. Yeah. We like get kicked. We're like, oh, my God. Whatever. We'll just walk. The irony is everybody else gets kicked off the bus. Well, the guy in the back is still steady. Just go and he's like, I don't give a shit. I'm going to finish this situation. You can take me when I'm done. So this is a situation. He's literally dick out. Just like, you know, and then he knew it. Or was he just not there at all? No, he was just sort of like, you know, he had like all this shit everywhere. And he was just like this sort of thing. And my friend was like, so is this like, does this happen often? And I'm like, ish. Yeah. Wow. Either somebody's pissing in the back or someone's like fondling something. Usually themselves. Yeah. That was the first time I ever got removed from a public transportation because someone else was pleasuring themselves. Hmm. And I thought that's a little unfair. I read Fifty Shades on the bus and no one had to leave. Well, let's hope they don't do that if people are leaving O'Hare. Somebody's on there like, we got to land. We got to land. Sorry, buddy. We have to land. We're going to Knoxville. We apologize for the inconvenience. This individual needs to finish. Yes. So that happened anyway. The good news is in LA, I don't know if this moves the needle for any other potential transplants, but you don't actually have to pay bus fare to see that. The homeless are doing it all the time. True story. On the street, you could see people. You could just walk past for free. Pulling their pud. Yeah. So I don't know if that, I don't know if that puts anybody off. City of big love. But it's okay. Yeah. There's a lot of love in this city. That's how I like to call it. Usually on the sidewalk. Anyway. I saw two people having sex in MacArthur Park the other day. Really? Two homeless people. MacArthur Park. Having a great old time. They're fucking in the sun. Someone left the dick out in the park. You couldn't see his dick because he had his shorts on. But you could tell. What a loss. The situation was happening. And this is why. Can you do me a favor, Cheyenne? Please. Can you find MacArthur Park? It's a song. And just put it as a bed underneath. Because I want to picture these people having sex while this is playing. MacArthur Park. Richard Harris is a singer. As in original Dumbledore sung this song. So if you've not heard MacArthur Park people, you're in for a treat. Buckle up because this is going to be a good time. If this is anything like that mystical. You've never heard this song? Elves song. I'm feeling excited. It might better that song. Okay. Someone left the cake out in the rain. I mean, I probably have. And I'll never have that recipe again. You've never heard this song? I'm not nearly doing it justice. You know Richard Harris. Sure. No? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, there's a little intro. Let's keep talking. Anyway, that happened. So just also be prepared to just see people, but not like in like a porno way, like in a not pleasing way. Did she just say something about pants? Yes. I can't believe you heard this song. MacArthur Park is melting in the dark. All the sweet green icing flowing down. This is 1970 something, right? So everybody was high. 73. 1968. 1968. Everyone was even worse. Forget it. Every. And I'll never have that recipe again. Oh, no. No. I just. You know, a slightly inferior version is Weird Al's parody, which is Jurassic Park. Okay. But this is pretty crazy. You can pot it down a little bit, but keep it playing. Wow. So those are a couple of things you should learn. Also. While we're speaking about cars, may I? Go. If you're not used to it, you have to pay to park everywhere. Here. And not only that, but if you're going to park on the street at a meter, the one thing Los Angeles has wisely pumped our tax dollars into is making sure the meters reset when somebody pulls away and go back to zero. So you can't get the 11 minutes from the person who was there before. Have you had that experience? No. It's I haven't, but I've heard about it. That's because people are pissed like this is this is one of the bigger issues that something else. The money can't go toward. I don't know. Building a pipeline to get us some water or something. Education. Whatever. It's fine. Well, yeah. Education. Also. For all the students. To go back with that. Yes. Take a picture of any street signs you see. That way, when you get a ticket. Notice I said when. When. You can try to fight it. If you can decipher the signs because traffic signs in Los Angeles are like the shrine of the silver monkey in Legends of the Hidden Temple. If you don't do that shit correctly and get it done fast enough, you're fucking done. Yeah. So. You will. You will. You will get a ticket. You know, that happened to me when I went and got my registration renewed. You got a ticket getting your registration. No, no, no, no, no, no. Here's what happened. I got a ticket in October. Okay. And there was a. I mailed in a check. Yes. Yes. Yes. Which was shortly after because it was like 48 bucks I didn't plan on spending. And it's, you know, I mean, still a lot of money to me in general, but I was like, great. You know, as I'm trying to figure out the month, that's like, of course this has to happen like at the end of the month when it's like rents coming up and everything. I'm like, oh, damn it. So I sent in a check. Check was received. It was due on a Friday. Check was received on a Monday. So apparently the entire time I was accumulating fees. So when I went to renew my registration, tried to do it online. Couldn't do it. Cause they said your status has changed. And I'm like, what the hell does that mean? I was like, forget it. I'm going to go to the DMV and just get it done. Went deep into the valley. I'm not gonna say which DMV because I like going there cause it's efficient. So you'll figure that out on your own people. Trial and error. Like me. Went there and they said, you owe on a parking ticket from Burbank. And I'm like, really? From what? And I'm thinking back, I'm like, well, I only had the one, but I sent in a check. They cashed the check. What's the problem? I was like, it was a $48 ticket. Like I sent them a check for $48. They cashed it. You owe $81. What? Almost double the original ticket. And they gave me the number to call and it was basically, it's been accumulating late fees. And I said, come on. Like the check arrived a day after it was due. Like the check arrives on a Monday. Like you guys are Johnny on the spot with the fucking parking tickets. But tune out kids. You're Johnny on the spot with the fucking parking tickets. But I mail a check and the post office can't get it there within three days. It was going to Los Angeles from Burbank. I could drive there in, well, a day. So I'm sure a postal truck. One day. I'm sure a postal truck can make it from Burbank to Los Angeles. And I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding me. They wouldn't take off the fee. So I had to pay $81 over my already exorbitant car registration at the time. And I was like, this is even worse. Even worse. You know what the ticket was for? What? Parking within 15 feet of a fire hydrant. I didn't know you had to leave 15 feet. I mean, it's one of those things that you don't know until it happens. I just like park. Don't park in the red. Isn't that the thing? Yeah. But apparently watch yourselves on 15 feet on either side of a fire hydrant. You're going to get a ticket. And they even measured it out. It was like 9.6 feet. Unless you just wrote it in just to be a dick. Which of course 5.30 in the morning was when the ticket was written. When nobody is possible. What part of the month did you get this? Oh, end of the month. End of the month. Of course. Because I was like, fuck, man. Listen, here's another thing. Don't come to this state with a car. At all. At all. That is like, if you bought it. Okay. So if you buy a car in like August of this year, don't bring that shit to this state until September of next year. Yeah. And expect to get a license plate. Don't do it. They will charge you taxes on that shit. They will charge you taxes on that car that you've already paid in the state you bought it in. Don't do it. Yeah. Better yet, don't come out here with a car at all. Buy one when you get here. Yes. And buy a beater. From somebody who's been. Yeah. Someone who's been chewed up and spit out by the city already. Someone's on their way out. See if you can get a bundle with their couch and their car. That's another piece of advice. Come here with an overinflated sense of ego. Then after you live here for a week, you'll be about down to the rest of us. Yeah. I'd agree with that. Because when you come here, you're like, I can do everything. And then like a month in, you're like, wow. If I can make it to the grocery store, I'm doing all right. So just come here feeling great about yourself. That way when you get knocked down a few rungs, you're still on your feet. Yeah. It's true. It's true. Well, the thing is. Just being real. Two things I've told people when they come out here. It can be very isolating. Yes. Especially for people our age. Yes. People in their 20s. I mean, I first moved here at 24. And now I'm 33. So a little bit different, but I've also ingratiated myself and I actually have done work within the entertainment industry. So I've met people with a similar motor wiring, whatever you want to call it. Right. Such as yourself. Right. And that makes a big difference. Having people who you can relate to and get along. And just making friends in general. But a lot of people, especially young people who are kind of trying to get where they're going. Everyone's very much on their own track and they don't want to. If they introduce themselves to you, it's very much in a, they won't outright say it, but it's a, what can you do for me? Or what can you do for my career? Kind of way. So it can be very isolating if you don't want to deal with that. So just be prepared. We're not trying to put anybody off by the way. Or are we? No. Don't come here. It's overpopulated. But the other thing is, I'm not a fan of the internet. I'm not a fan of the internet. I'm not a fan of the internet. It's very overpopulated. And there's no fucking water. Come here with a pallet of water. Also, when people come here, they were the best of everything. If you were a 10 in Springfield, Missouri, you're going to be a 6 when you get your paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper paper you're going to be a six when you get here, first of all. Not just the ladies, everybody. And everyone who is the best or let's top five in their drama class or whatever, leading the play all, you know, sophomore to senior year in high school or college or whatever it was. The best of everybody comes out here. So now all the best people are competing. But it's not just about that. It also has to do with the willingness to work and the fact that you have to keep at it. Because a lot of people show up and they're like, well, here I am. Oh, Jesus, almost knocked something down. Chris is passionate about this. I really am. It was very Bugs Bunny, like, well, here I am. And he pops out of the hole. Hey, just a cotton pick a minute. This don't look like the Coachella Valley to me. See, I brought it back to California. I like that. I like that. Thank you. And unfortunately, people, they get knocked in. They're like, I'm going to come out here and I'm going to give it a year. And they're not going to know your name in a year. Like, that's just reality. People think they can come here from somewhere else and assume, like, oh, it's easy from here on out. No, it's not. Like, come here if you want to be a lifer in anything. Or if you just want to check it out, that's fine. But if you're coming out to work in the entertainment industry, that has to be what you want to do. And you're going to have to continue to stick with it. And that's just the truth. But also understand, like, it's definitely good to have that sense of, like, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it. Because if you don't come out here with that, you need to just not. Even try. Like, you all have, everybody has to come out here with, like, I'm going to be amazing. But you also have to understand, like, so much of this industry is pure luck. Yeah. And pure, who do you know? And who do you walk past on the street? Like. To a degree. To a degree, yes. To a degree. You do have to stick to it. And you do have to establish yourself. Yeah, but there are people who have been out here for, like, 30 years. Oh, for sure. Doing it and are still not. I think part of the problem. To the level of success. And it feeds into, in part, the reason I do this and we do this, this show specifically, is you can't live and die by all that. No. Because you'll get very, that's where people go over the edge. That's where people get, like, suicidal. Like, you have to do something within your control. Yeah. You have to, I mean, we're speaking to the people that are entertainment-minded now. We'll get back to the rest of you in a minute. But don't live and die by that. Look, as a voice actor, I've done over 300 auditions. In the last year. I haven't booked 300 jobs. So if I had nothing going on other than I'm auditioning for such and such, you know, between 10 and 12 auditions a week. And I'm not saying as a bragging thing. That's the volume of auditions I'm getting, but I'm not booking every single one of them. So unless someone's looking for a Michael Caine, in which case, you know who you can call. But only if it's reading erotica. That's right. So you have to, you need to have something else. You have to be happy in your life. You have to have something going on in your life. Which has to be not entirely separate from your career, but don't live and die by your career seriously, because you'll drive yourself insane. On to happier things. If you're from anywhere else and you want to, let's say you're from Corbin, Kentucky, and you're moving out here because you think, y'all, I need to get away from all the assholes and pickup trucks. They're here too. There are big asshole pickup trucks everywhere, all over the place, as the great Ryan Tiger called them. Yeah, you're not going to get away from those. They're here. And they still drive like assholes. And a lot of times they're driven by hipsters. Yep. And that's a funny thing. They're not hauling anything. Oversized trucks. Yeah. They're not hauling anything. No one's hauling water without you guys. Yeah, and they need to start. If you're going to drive one of those things, you better be bringing water to the rest of us. To the gym so Candice can shower. What? Yes. Here's another thing. Don't bring fruit into this state. Yeah. You're not allowed. I didn't know that. Wait a minute. So here's the story. Here's the story. We're driving. We moved me out here from Chicago in the middle of a blizzard. A plus. We finally make it over the California border. We got through that little weird fruit check shit. I don't know what that is. I pull up. I'm like, do you have to pay a toll to get into California now? What the hell is going on? But it's like 25 miles into California. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. If you cross from Nevada, it's not on the border at all. You drive almost a half hour before you hit it, which is funny. So I was very confused. I'm like, what? What's happening? What's happening? So we just pull up. I'm like, roll my car. I'm like, roll my car. I'm like, roll my car. He's like, how are you guys doing? Good. Do you have any fruit from any other states? And I was kind of panicked because I was like, what is this about? Right? So I'm like, no, we're good. He's like, all right, have a great day. So we're driving like another 10 miles and my fiance opens up the cooler and she's like, oh God, we have cuties in here. Like the little tiny oranges and shit. And I was like, we lied. We lied to the fruit man. Oh God. So I was like, what happened? And he's like, why can't you bring fruit in? But apparently it's a thing. It's an ecosystem thing. Well, I'm the reason that we have the fucking drought because I brought like three cuties into the state. You heard it here. So I'll take responsibility for that. It's my cuties. Sorry about that. Candace needed an orange and now we can't wash our cars. And now I'm taking all the water because I work out five days a week. It's fine. They should make a water tax though. When you come in, you have to like bring like a, like one of those big ass things of water. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're coming in here. Don't use the water. Bring your own. Just like, no, just leave it. Just leave it? Well. You're going to trust the state with that? No. I'm sorry. I spoke before I thought about it. Okay. I'm saying literally get yourself. Bring your own shit. Yeah. Get a U-Haul, a couple of palaces in Poland Spring and drive it over here. That's a reference to my friends in the East Coast. Speaking of which, another thing. Yes. If you're from the East Coast or basically anywhere else, if you are looking for good pizza, Chinese food. subs, cheese steaks, things like that. They're not to be found here. Pizza, very few and far between, but Subway and Quiznos is all you're going to get here when it comes to sandwiches. There are Jersey Mike's, which are similar. They're okay. They're okay, but it's still not the same. Chinese food's lousy. I heard in Chinatown it's pretty good, but I have not been. I haven't been there. I haven't eaten Chinese food in Chinatown. Italian food's non-existent, so don't even try. If you're from back East, like myself, sorry, you're completely out of luck. And same thing goes to pizza. Most of the pizza's crappy, and people around here eat it because they don't know any better. All of the pizza's crappy. It is. But I'm from Chicago, so I have a bit of a... Well, you're from another pizza-heavy metropolitan area, so you know. They also don't know how to eat hot dogs out here. How do you eat hot dogs? Well, a Chicago dog's a very distinctive hot dog. Yeah, that's the only way to eat a hot dog. All right. So, yeah. I went to... I'm with you. I love Chicago dogs and chili cheese. They're so delicious. But you will find ball-mass sushi, which I did not like until I moved here. Now I like sushi. You know what's funny? I didn't eat sushi when I was living here the first time. It wasn't until I went back to New Jersey, and the woman I started going out with when I moved back was really into sushi, and we went out to a bunch of places, and there were actually a bunch of good sushi places in the area back in Jersey. So I lived here for two years and had never tried sushi, and yes, it is... Now we're just getting into super white territory here. We're just like, oh, sushi. I know. Followed up with some green tea ice cream. But... Yeah, the sushi, good. The Mexican food goes without saying. So good. Really, really good. Don't be surprised when parents are chasing after their kids with coconut water out here, because they do. I also drink that, so... Yeah, but I don't understand why a kid who's been walking for a couple of weeks needs coconut water, because I made it to 31 without ever having tried coconut water, and I was... That's fair. I mean... Questionable in other areas, but I mean, I grew up... I survived that long, so I don't get why little kids need... That's a funny thing. Driving last week, here's something, which I think is in... It was an old bit on the show during the first 30 or so episodes before we came here to the studio. It was only in Los Angeles, and this is probably an only in Los Angeles thing, I think, to call back to a previous segment. Went past a place which is Brazilian jiu-jitsu for kids, and the sign said, ages 2 to 14. Now... Two? Two. That's what I'm stuck on, because I think, well, does a kid actually make the decision to learn jiu-jitsu? Because that's dangerous. First of all, they can't... Kids don't even have full control of their body until... They don't even have the motor skills to do that at two. Yeah, not until 11 or 12, unless it was just me, but the average kid, not at two years old. I got a three-year-old, and she spins around too hard. She's done. Yeah. But jiu-jitsu? Yeah. And then I realized, oh, that's something for the parents to have bragging rights about. Because there's a mommy and me yoga thing I saw, too, where it's like, bring your infant to yoga. I'm like, a kid's not going to be able to do anything. That's not just an LA thing, though. That happens... That's like a new wave. Yeah, has it spread elsewhere? Yeah, spreading elsewhere. Like, I've heard some friends out east say, like, mommy and baby yoga. I'm like, what is a baby doing? Well, it's like self-serve frozen yogurt started out here with, like, Pinkberry, and now everywhere else is lousy with self-serve frozen yogurt joints. I love frozen. I think I started here. I do, too. But self-serve, because I can get, like, you know, a pound and a half in a cup. And I'm like, I just had one cup. 17 flavors. Seven inches above the top of the rim of the cup. Yeah. But I'm like, I had one cup. Doesn't matter. It's one cup, and it's every flavor you have. Yeah. And you can't say anything to me about it. And I put, like, 57 gummy bears on it. Don't worry about it. Charge me my thing by my weight. Thank you. Yep. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. Eight pounds of yogurt and toppings. She said home, like, it's fine. I forgot the marshmallow sauce. Hang on. Sorry, can you ring me up again? I don't need to take my probiotics for a year. Everything's out here is very crunchy. Like, you'll find yourself after, like, a year being like, I should do a juice cleanse. Yeah. And then you catch yourself like, whoa. Wait, why? Why do I need to do that? And you're like, I don't know, but, you know, my friend did it, and her skin looks fresh. Maybe she's like, maybe she just, like, got a nice night's sleep. Maybe she's taking a vitamin D supplement. Like, yeah. Yeah, maybe she's sleeping. But you find yourself doing those things. So, just be aware. You'll become crunchy. Cheyenne said she's gonna shut the lights off and leave. I've got, how much do you have on you? No. I got a couple of bucks. We're just, I have $4. How much, you got any cash on you? Um, no. Use PayPal. We're gonna butter up Cheyenne to stick around. I've only got $2 in my wallet. All right, $6. Does that buy us anything? Does that buy $88? $88. $88, she said. Okay. Let's go. That's all the extra time we can get. Come out here. It's fun. It's beautiful. You'll love it. Damn. I feel like we're just getting started on this. It's a crazy place. Maybe we have to do a part two next week. Yes. Should we? There's a lot more. I don't know. I think maybe we should. I think we should have an encore presentation. We could do it. I have two pages of stuff that people need to know. We spent a disproportionate amount of time talking about the drought. We have no solutions, but, except I like your idea, about people need to bring in their own water when they come here. Bring your own shit. Bring it in so you're not using the public water so it lasts a little longer. And if you're going to Vegas, bring back something for LA. Bring the Bellagio. LA, motherfucker. Yeah, there you go. Just bring the Bellagio. Yep. But see, that's another state. They can get away with it. Nevada has their shit tight, I'm telling you. Don't give a shit. It's fine out there. Should we move? Should we take this show to Vegas? I'm not moving to Vegas. Why not? Because. Why? I'm tired of people throwing cards with naked ladies in my face. We can move to the Vegas adjacent. What? Like. Like Henderson. The tiny strip? Okay. I can't remember what it's called. I'm not moving to Vegas. I'm like the only person in the world that doesn't like Vegas. You don't like it at all? Meh. What, do you not eat? Meh. We could talk about this some other time. I guess. I don't want to end the show on a downer, but there you go. Everyone can love Vegas. And you can. You should. I just. I like it. Know what else you should like? Audible.com. Audible.com. AudibleTrial.com slash cape, everybody. Get on it. Support the show. Free. It's free. Just do it. Do it. Check it out. Get a. Excuse me. Get a free book. I'm getting very emphatic and I'm losing my voice. Get a free book. It's free. Talk for a second while I drink some water. Just like books. You guys like books. Just go get a free book, okay? Audible.com slash free trial. AudibleTrial.com slash cape. There it is. There it is. There it is. There it is. You don't even like books. You just need to listen to stuff and you'll be all right. You listen to us talk for an hour. Just listen to somebody else talk about a book. Listen to a professional talk. More succinct with a plot. In a written. Yeah. Something written out. That's not just an hour of ad-libbing. And of course, again, follow the show. Kpod, Twitter, and Instagram. Follow Candice at LesShark26 on Twitter and Instagram. Follow me at Chris Abalo on Twitter. Chris sells out on Instagram. Like the show. Once again, iTunes, subscribe. Give the show five stars to spread. The word helps spread the word. It's all about that, folks. That's what it is. We will be back every week as long as you can stand it. And once again, bring in water if you're coming in from out of state. And thank you for tuning in. I really think we're going to have to continue this next week. So. Absolutely. Until next time, for Cheyenne and Candice, this is Chris Abalo. And this was yet another experiment. See you next week. My baby's got my heart. My baby's got my mind. It's like a sweet devil. Sweet. Devil's got my soul. Come out to the coast. We'll get together. Have a few.