Royal baby, Weiner scandal, music guests Patty Carr and Alex Davis

Take it off, take it in Take off all the thoughts of what we've been Take a look, hesitate Take a picture you could never recreate Write a song, make a note Welcome to Sarcastic News My name is Justin Cross My name is Macaulay Culkin I know You may remember me from Home Alone 12 And from also being inside Meal Kunis A.K.A. Meg Griffin Don't forget about the sleepovers at Michael Jackson's house That's true Cock tastes great I mean, those were good sleepovers Now you all know that I I never, ever Make overblown statements That's not something I do If you guys don't know, I never make overblown statements It's not who I am But tonight's show is guaranteed It's not who I am It's gonna change your entire lives Okay? It's gonna make you giddy with childlike joy Okay? And I mean that literally Like none of this figurative punk ass bullshit This show is literally It's gonna be childlike joy Alright? It's gonna be You're gonna wanna sprint through the streets Lick a cone of creamed ice You're gonna You're gonna wanna run nostalgically through the sprinklers And kiss that girl you've had a crush on since summer camp started Okay? Yeah, you know You know that one that She may be a little chubby and have bad breath But this is a marathon, not a sprint She's gonna get hot next summer And decide to chew some gum, okay? You better believe it This show is gonna knock your fucking socks off I just dropped an F-bomb We're on internet radio I don't give a shit We're live, baby This is We got the SN Crack Squad We call them a crack squad Because they are a group of people Who are high on crack right now Isn't that right, Mindy? If you say so She's high on crack She's high on crack She's high on crack She's high on crack She's high on crack I don't know I don't know nothing about crack, but No, no, no No, Mindy does pot That's her drug of choice Yes, lots of it All right, well, we've got in the house tonight Well, actually, he's gonna be joining us Via the Jack in the Box hot mess phone line Matt Sugar Mills will be in the house Matt Sugar Mills He'll be calling in during our Ring of Fire session Session It's a session We've also got social media vixen Michael Lorenzo Porter Of course, Ezzy the Rocket Hussein They call her the rocket Because she's an alcoholic Cheers Actually, they call her the rocket Because she's a squirter Yeah Also with us Special addition to the show He is founder, CEO, and president of Totally Rad T-shirts And a guest sarcastic news crack squatter Ben, what's your name? Ben A, also known as the Hebrew Hammer I was happy to join as your chief Jewish correspondent a couple weeks ago And now really excited to be here in this expanded role with sarcastic news Are you nervous tonight, Ben A? Not in the slightest Because your listening audience hovers in the 0 to 8 range 0 to 8,000 range, Ben A Live, those are live listeners, all right Also joining us, very special guest We've got musical guest Patty Carr in the house We've got musical guest Patty Carr in the house Joined with Alex And they are going to play some good music Not just good music, great music You guys got a show coming up, right, Patty? Yeah, our show is at Wits End on the 31st of this month Wits End, July 31st Venice, California Venice, California Lincoln Boulevard, I'm going to be there You should spell out Wits End because it's It's W-I-T-Z-E-N-D Excellent Excellent So we're going to be talking more about that And they're going to be playing music in between Some of our segments here But we're going to, before we get going I want to go and fulfill the news part of Sarcastic News We have to, I mean, I hate to do this But we're going to spend an obligatory 3.2 seconds combined On the fallout of the Trayvon Martin verdict 500 plus escaped prisoners from Abu Ghraib in Iraq And also, I don't know if you guys heard about this In Detroit, they are filing for bankruptcy So we're, actually, we just covered that That we're done We're going to check that out That was the first one That was the first one That was the coverage right there That's it, that's all we got It's time for Snake to read the solar-powered calculator Where's Snake at? No? Bueller? Is he off today? He's off, actually, yeah Jake the Snake is not in the house But Porter, what is this going to be? This is going to be one of our top what? I got to go out on a limb here and say This could be one of our top 17 shows Yeah, yeah Top 17 shows And how many have we done, Porter? 17 Yeah, okay All right So, guys There's a 100% chance This is going to be There's going to be somewhere in there, okay? Now, this is going to I'm pumped about this, okay? Because we have a lot to talk about We do have to We actually do have to cover some real news Some true news, okay, Bene? We're going to spend the next 49 minutes Analyzing and tantalizing over Guess what? The royal baby That's right And also, we're going to talk about Anthony Weiner Because that guy still loves his Weiner He just can't Weiner is in trouble He's in trouble Again Just moments ago Weiner admitted to sending additional explicit photos and texts To a woman he met online The former congressman Who's now running for mayor of New York City Was being accused of exchanging multiple sex With a 22-year-old woman Using the handle Carlos Danger Now Now, as you know As you know Carlos Danger That's the best thing I've ever heard in my life That's better than Michael Vick When Michael Vick went to an STD And he used the name He used the handle Ron Mexico What is wrong with these people? Is it Carlos Danger? Carlos Danger I guess Louise Horsecock was just taken So that was next on the list Carlos Danger, like, 2013 That's right That's right Now, that was a while ago But, of course, he's denying this Now, I did some time traveling recently And I found an exclusive sarcastic news clip I brought back from the future Here it is I have not been honest with myself I have not been honest with myself I have not been honest with myself I have not been honest with myself I have not been honest with myself I have not been honest with my family My constituents My friends And supporters And the media Last Friday night I tweeted a photograph of myself That I intended to send as a direct message As part of a joke To a woman in Seattle Oh, my God Well, I mean He just wanted It was a picture He was just tweeting it It was a joke It was a joke, guys Oh, man We've got a hell of a show for you We've got a hell of a show Hey, by the way Ezzy The Rocket Could you please provide us With the sarcastic news gut reaction Snap survey? I absolutely will So with the hoopla Over the birth of the amazing New royal baby I just wanted to know There's a lot of debate About who's hotter Is it Prince William Who's, you know Heir to the throne Or is it her His little brother Prince Harry So if given the opportunity Who would you rather have a baby with? Is it Prince William Or Prince Harry And why? That's right That's our sarcastic news Gut reaction snap survey poll It's from the guts From the heart From the balls Okay? From the bottom care Of your heart If you're a woman You got balls, okay? And I want you to react to that On, on, uh You can call us 800-893-9562 800-893-9562 Or You can live tweet us And guess what? If you live tweet us How many, how many winners, Benet? How many winners are gonna receive A totally rad t-shirt? Uh I'm only springing for one In this instance Alright That's a lot of build up to one You know what? We're gonna give away two And, uh Uh I don't know But if you know about Skid Row is gonna pay for it Okay? Ooh Skid Row is gonna pay for it Actually, no I'm gonna pay for it But We're gonna give away two t-shirts Two totally rad t-shirts tonight Okay? And eventually At some point in the show We'll get the name of the, uh Company correct It's Totally Rad Prince Whatever You started yesterday, okay? How am I supposed to know this? Alright? You started yesterday You'll get, you'll get your You'll get your minute in the sun Okay? I really appreciate that I take that back You'll get your eight seconds In the sun, Benet I think that was just it Totally rad Shorts.com Totally rad Shorts.com Check it out Is it, is it a dot biz? Are you sure it's not a dot biz? Website? Dot edu? Yeah Dot gov Oh my god Dot sk I got a Slovakian Uh Now, as we mentioned at the top, folks Prince William and Prince Kate Had a royal baby And I think the question You like that? That's me doing a British accent Guys We've been passing around pot brownies Here at the rat cage Where we like to call Skid Row's videos We've been passing We call it the rat cage by the way Because there are rats everywhere It's a play on words Because there are rats I know Jim in Santa Fe Springs Is listening right now He's one of our most loyal listeners He's just going I need to be on what they're on So they had a royal baby And they had a royal baby And they had a royal baby And they had a royal baby And I think the question That we all want to know is First of all Is the baby black? That's the first question Here's the deal Every other major news outlet They were a flurry With the announcement Here it is And will remain in hospital overnight So that's the news A boy born at 424 Which is Wait Is that it? Is that it? At San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San San Is he circumcised? These are the types of questions we're going to be delving into tonight, guys. Don't know further details right now. In an interesting change of what was originally planned, Kensington Palace decided to instead report through a press release that he's circumcised. We're going to find out. And I get a feeling, I got a feeling, George Zimmerman was the one who did the circumcision. Did you hear that? Did you hear that the other day? He lifted a car up and saved a family? I did hear that, but they were white. Of course. I believe it. Reek of suspicion that a guy having to repair his image who probably has a bounty on his head suddenly saved a family. Oh, I know. Well, it was great. Actually, I watched a clip on CNN, and it was his lawyer. And the lawyer was like, the whole thing, the lawyer was like, I couldn't even plan it. And he almost stopped himself when he said that. He's like, this is gold, baby. This is gold. Let's see. Protests continue, though, throughout the country when it comes to the Zimmerman-Martin case, the not guilty verdict. And as we mentioned earlier, Detroit, Michigan. Detroit, Michigan filed for bankruptcy last week after announcing that the city could not argue that they owed $11.5 billion in liabilities associated with pension benefits, retiree health care, and unsecured debt held by investors. They said that apparently the forever tax... 21 credit card charges were also being disputed. What? Yeah, they like to shop. Like teenage girls. And it would have been... That's why they're bankrupt, you know? You can literally buy the Silverdome for a quarter million dollars. Who wants a stadium? And at what appears to be a minimum security prison, Abu Ghraib in Iraq had hundreds of prisoners escape, including senior al-Qaeda members after insurgent assaults. Asked about... The implications about the quality of security at prison, senior White House officials had this to say. Oh, they didn't have anything to say. They threw up their arms. Mindy was like, I don't know. They had silence. That's pretty much what they did, actually. They just, yeah. Now, we're going to move on here because in Ohio, sandwich artists get this sandwich artist at Subway located inside a gas station were actually fired after posting pictures of their genitals on loaves of bread. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And guess what? They also made water bottles with a cream-colored substance and a caption reading, quote, Today at work, I froze my pee. You'd expect a lot more out of gas station minimum wage teenage workers. In Ohio. In Ohio. And also Taco Bell in fast food news. And Taco Bell announced that they were dropping their kids' meals in response to parents' concerns and would repackage the meals as, quote, high on waste. And weed 20-something-year-old meals. Which means they're changing nothing. Exactly. The best thing about, uh, I think the best thing about Taco Bell is they've got, like, four ingredients. They have ground beef. Exactly. Cheese. Some sort of red sauce and beef. And they come out with a new menu item every couple months. But it has three of the four ingredients. Do you want it in a hard shell or not, though, Benny? That's the question. That's a wild card. So with that said, we want to give out to our big, big fans. Big sponsor, Taco Bell. Sponsoring the sarcastic news show here in the Rat Cage. And a study conducted by the Center for Economic Performance at the London School of Economics claims that people are most satisfied in life at ages 23 and 69 with happiness declining in between. They actually retracted this, changing the headline to most happy at 23 while doing a 69. Wow. That seems more right. And in lighter news, a teen in Brazil was heroically saved from drowning, only to be attacked and killed by a shark seconds later. The shark was overheard singing the Alanis Morissette song, Isn't It Ironic? That's terrible. We're all going to hell in a related story. And finally, finally. Starting news, Milwaukee Brewers power hitter Ryan Braun, a.k.a. the Hebrew Hammer, was suspended. That's right, Ben Angle in my season. Competition. The Hebrew Hammer was suspended for the rest of the Major League Baseball season for drug doping. Now, many around baseball are upset at Braun for vehemently denying doping accusations after he won his prior case on a technicality back in 2011. In an interview, Braun's girlfriend downplayed the situation by calling it, quote, a little white lie. Adding, The only thing smaller and whiter are his testicles. That joke was for Porter. Tip of the hat. Testicle joke. That's right. All right, guys. And that, for the moment, that wraps up our rundown for tonight. We got a great show ahead of you. We got a fun game led by Ezzy the Rocket, who's saying coming up. We want you to call in, weigh in on our sarcastic news snap gut reaction question. Who? What was it? Who would you rather make a baby with? Is it Prince? William? Heir to the throne? Or his more awesome, fun brother, Prince Harry? Pretty simple to the point. You can call in. Also, you can tweet us at sarcasticnews1. And actually, coming up here in just a moment, we have Alex and Patty. They will be singing us a little song to take us a break. And also, we will be playing them throughout the show. Go check them out at the Wits End if you're in L.A. Coming up on the 31st of July. And with that said, we will be right back here on the Sarcastic News Show. Here we go. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. All right, here we go. I'm President Obama. Hey, guys. Let's try this again. Hey, guys. All right, no, let's try it one more time. Hey, guys. Look, I'd really like to work together to solve some of the country's... Unborn child's right to life. That doesn't fit whatsoever. Keep going. And get us headed in the right direction. Hopefully we can put aside our... State senator. And lead this country back onto the right... Plastic toy guns. Does that sound good with everyone? Just as long as you don't take away American traditions like... Gays. The right to bear arms and an unborn child's right to bear arms. I believe all fetuses past eight weeks should be given... Path. Doesn't quite work. To get used to the trigger motion. I put a latex glove and shoved a... Differences. Inside a pregnant woman before and it went really well, actually. There were plenty of screams of joy. Oh, I assume it was joy. I remember my very first gift. It was a... Plastic starter pistol. I was just a zygote. A zygote that was given the right to live and become a... Mexican. You get my drift, B-Rock? Yes. No. Wait, no, no. Oh, yeah, Porter. No, Bachman. Who's Bachman? I'm Bachman. Oh. Stay in character. Jesus spoke to me in a dream and he told me that... A Civil War replica rifle shouldn't get married. Can you do something about all the... Problems. God damn it. And scene. Excellent. Great work, everybody. Flawless execution. Flawless execution. Exactly as I had planned. And on that note here, we're about to take it a break again with Alex Davis and Patty Carr. Alex, are you going to be playing just Alex this time? Just me. Excellent. Okay, and you can check out Alex on the website is... LuckyAlex.com? That's correct. Lucky Alex. Alex.com. Here in the song that you're about to play, Alex? It's called Working in Retail. Working in Retail. That's right. I've had a few of those jobs and I... Yeah. It's almost as hard as working at Sarcastic News. But... So Alex is going to be playing Working in Retail. We urge you guys to call on 800-893-9562 or tweet us at SarcasticNews1. You can win a free t-shirt. Actually, two people who tweet us will win t-shirts. We will announce it at the end of the show. Who will win this? Who will win this? Totally rad. Prince.com t-shirts. Founder and CEO Ben A is here. But before we come back with our ring of fire, Matt Nassi on the line, we're going to take you to break. Here's a little Alex Davis for you. Kill me now If you love me one bit Kill me now Cause I'm losing it I'm a proud Salesman I'm a proud I'm a proud Salesman I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud I'm a proud to fun and the children I work with I'll say I look young for some guy who's way over 21 oh god damn all the bad things I've done to deserve this kill me now if you love me at all kill me now this is my last call I won't pull any more cheap clothes cause this job fucking blows I hope this store explodes kill me now awesome that's Alex Davis right there talking about working in retail yeah yeah that was such an awesome song it sounded amazing but then I would just be like this fucking blows and I'd be like yes you were telling my thoughts in a very beautiful way great why don't you just do her Justin I'll do Alex I don't care I'll do anybody here really I'm ready to bang here's my question we're coming back here on the Sarcastic News Show and we have the Ring of Fire coming up and Matt are you still on the line there Matt Nassi you still there yeah hello excellent Matt Nassi's still there I'm before we bring up the Ring of Fire and as you or we've got the Ring of Fire music queued up right it's ready to go okay we don't want to play it yet okay this is key yeah that's right it's a dramatic pause is what we're doing I'm going to do a quick promo I want people to I want people to you know call in 800-893-9562 after we're done with the Ring of Fire I want you guys or during we want you to weigh in would you rather have sex with Prince William or would you rather have sex with your wife or Prince Harry that's really what it comes down to which would you rather do anal with Prince William or Prince Harry that's the question for tonight and also Ben A we haven't talked with Ben A real quick real quick Ben A tell us a little bit about totallyradprince.com alright well zazzle.com slash totallyradprince exactly so it's an online clothing company we put your favorite 80s retro catchphrases emblazoned on your choice of t-shirts or any sort of garment you can go with awesome you can go with totally you can go with excellent or whatever works for you it's at zazzle.com slash totallyradprince awesome okay perfect well we're telling you know we're telling our listeners our people who are watching on live stream right now tweet us and we will give out two free t-shirts two free totally rad t-shirts tonight and we'll be Porter you're checking in on that you're monitoring that right? yes I am excellent okay so we're gonna we're gonna start the ring of fire are we ready? this is the ring of fire here on the sarcastic news show are we ready? Mindy there it is alright love is a burning thing keep it going keep it going until I decide it makes a fiery ring we're gonna do it for the next five minutes I'm sure we're gonna play it on the radio lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo lo Is there anything Anthony Weiner is going to do that is, first of all, is he going to win? Is he going to be the mayor of New York? And if so, how is he going to be able to do it after two sexting violations? I mean, you know what? I actually, I think ultimately he's going to end up dropping out just because, not because of the actual acts, but because of the entire media circus and just the comedy from it. I mean, no one can take him seriously anymore, not only with the Carlos danger, which is just amazing in itself, but there was also, today I read a story where some woman who he had a phone sex relationship with said he wouldn't last more than 30 seconds. Nice. On the phone. Wait, on the phone? What do you mean? He would get off after 30 seconds of phone sex. Really? And she was mad about it. I mean, this report was saying she was like, ah, I never got to have my fun with him. I mean, this is just, you know, I think, personally, I think maybe he could overcome it and be a good mayor, but I think it's hard to get off on this kind of foot. You know, you're trying to be taken seriously, and when you are looking to run one of the biggest cities in the world, it can be hard. It can be hard when your alias is Carlos Danger. All right, I want to turn it right now to Michael Lorenzo Porter. Are you ready for this, Porter? I'm ready. Is there a way that, you know, you're a man of sexting. Yes. How does he recover from this? I don't think he does, but I don't think it'll matter much. I think he's going to be the mayor. You think he will? I think he will be the mayor. I think people, with everything else going on, this is a footnote. They're going to go, oh, he sent another sex to someone. Did anyone really? I think he was cured to begin with, so this isn't surprising at all. I mean, he's going to be the mayor, and he's going to be awful at it. That's a good point, and with that, I want to ask you, Ezzy the Rocket, I want to know from you, where should he have done this press conference? It looks like he did it in front of a row of cubicles. He was standing so close to his wife. When she was talking, he was breathing down on her with his arms crossed, like neck to neck. Yeah, it was definitely done in a cubicle. But am I allowed to answer the question? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that he can only redeem himself if he says, I'm a sex addict. If he blatantly cops to saying, I cannot control myself, because then he can go to rehab and proclaim that he's gotten better. But this whole lying debacle, I do think, number one, he does need to redeem himself. How? I'm saying he has to. The idea that he can win without doing so, I actually believe that in this case, he's made it. To the point where it's not about the sexting per se, it's lying. Okay. But the problem with saying that he's an addict, I think that only hurts him more. Because again, it's really, people are going to judge him based upon how effectively he can do the job. Rehab though, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I know, but you know, it's, I mean, that's never a sure thing to get rid of if he has a problem. Which, and by the way, I mean, sex addiction actually isn't, technically, a diagnosable problem. Oh, I think it's a bunch of BS, personally. Who isn't a sex addict? I mean, am I right or am I right? Yeah. Yeah. No, I, yeah. I mean, that excuse worked for Tiger Woods, but all he has to do is hit a ball, little ball 300 yards. Anthony Weiner. He hits his ball. There you go. Low-hanging fruit basket. Nothing better. Low-hanging fruit basket. But to be the mayor of, but to be the mayor of, arguably, the center of the universe, New York City, 15 million people, and make decisions on their behalf to claim you have a sex addiction, and I don't know if I'll ever be cured, and you have to wonder if your mayor is going to be sending cockpicks to 20-year-old interns all the time. Not somebody leading a city. Yeah, and that's the other thing, too. He clearly has poor social media skills, and part of the job is public relations, and the guy can't keep his dick off of Twitter. Have you heard of Snapchat, Anthony Weiner? How else are you going to mess up? Oh, first of all, first of all, he's got a nice cock, okay? And second of all, you're right. You know, you guys are all right. He can't lead the biggest city in the world, okay? He can, I mean, like, it's not like anybody's ever led America after having sex with an intern. Oh, wait. Like, this shit happens all the time. I disagree with all of you. I think it's, I actually agree with Porter, because, I mean, I don't think that this is actually, first of all, people have a short-term memory when it comes to sex addictions. I think we actually kind of subconsciously are like, okay, that's, he's one of us, you know? Yeah, I would do the same. Makes him relatable? I don't know. It humanizes this person. All right, I want to move on real quick. I want to talk about our Snap Gut Reaction Survey question of the night. Who would you rather have a baby with? And I want to get everybody in the studio. It's 180 degrees, and we got three people sitting on the floor right now, because this is actually Walmart, and that's how we do things. But I want to know, who would you rather have a baby with, Prince William, or Prince Harry? And I want to talk to, first of all, who wants to, Julie Carr? Come on up here. Julie Carr. Come on. Come on down. Who would you rather, who would you rather have a baby with, Prince William or Prince Harry? Okay, so this isn't just sex. This is having a baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to look at me. There's a difference. You're right. It's like Mary, fuck, kill. But royal. So wait, who's the third then? Oh, well, Matt Nasty, actually. I don't know if it's Matt Nasty. Don't worry. Okay, bearing a child. Oh, God. Pressure. Harry? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Harry. He's got a full set of hair. Yeah, and he's more attractive. He wasn't. That balding. Yeah, he's, remember though when Prince William used to be the honk, and then I said honk, because I'm 80. I do, because you're from the 90s. Fair enough. Patty Carr. I remember the 90s, so I'm going to stick with, um, Prince William. Okay. The balding thing doesn't get you? No. Okay. I see right past it. I see royalty. Straight to the bank. Right into his wallet. Michael Warren's a porter. Michael Warren's a porter. I mean, you got to go with William, right? I mean, you know it works. He just had a baby, so you're probably going to get pregnant too. So, I mean, that's what you want. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I, yeah, I agree with that. And, uh, I would have to say Harry. Thank you. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. See, seriously, because with Prince Harry, first of all, I mean, the guy can go to Vegas and have a good time. Yeah. And then you get all the perks without any of the pressure. You know, he's still royalty, but you don't have to put up with all the pomp and circumstance. Now, when we were talking about this before, you said William, though. That's because I like to screw with your head, Cross. I like to keep you on your toes. What is she thinking? Yeah, no, it's true. Matt Nasty, your thoughts? Uh, you know, I would say, I guess I would say Harry because he's a bad boy. But, uh, but, uh, you know what? There are rumors that he's an illegitimate, he's not of, um, Prince Charles. Really? There's rumors, there have been rumors about it for years, so technically, he might not even be a royal. Oh. No, no. No, it's not true. That's not true. I don't know about that. You know? Uh. There's smoke, there's fire. That's true. That's true. All right. I would, I honestly, I'd have to go with Harry. He sounds, he's more fun these days. You know? He's just, he's William selling down. He's bald. He's, he's bald. I don't know. He looks like Charles. Like, I would just, I like, you know, like, I'm having, I'm banging Charles. Like, I don't want to bang Charles. Maybe Charles in charge, but it's different. Um, all right. Finally, uh, we're going to wrap up here, uh, with the, uh, the ring of fire here. I want to know real quick, guys, uh, this, this week, uh, this week, Detroit, uh, the city of Detroit filed for bankruptcy. Um, and then, you know, now, mind you, they had a government bailout in the car industry. So, I want to know, should the city receive a bailout? You know, it seemed to work for the car industry, but should the city receive the bailout? and we only have, uh, we only have about a minute here. So, we're going to go rapid fire. Matt Nassi, go ahead and lead us off. Uh, no bailout, but they shouldn't have to worry about their debts. That's what bankruptcy basically is. Don't be smart. I told you not to be smart when you came on here, okay? All right. Well, but, I mean, do you feel, It's gone. Rapid fire. Rapid fire. All right. Ben A. Any city that spawned Eminem and Kid Rock, I'm not giving them a dime. You don't want to give them a dime. All right. So, yeah, I mean, do you think that they need help out? Ezzie, what do you think? So, I say no. Also, I think that they are doing the smart thing by filing for bankruptcy. Okay. Porter? Yeah, I'll probably have to say no as well. It just seems like a bad idea, I think. Patty Carr, what do you think about Detroit just in general? Oh, I don't really have many thoughts on Detroit. What do you think about Eminem as a rapper? Robo-cop. Eminem as a rapper? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think much about him at all. Wow. All right. And with that, we're going to hear a little bit more of Patty Carr in a second and we're going to talk, we're going to close out tonight's show by talking to Patty and Alex Davis about their music. We're also going to talk to Ben A. about his new company here, TotallyRadCox.net and it just keeps changing every time. Got porn? Doesn't get old. Gotporn.com. Matt Nassi, thank you very much for joining us. My pleasure. As always. The Jack in the Box Hot Mess phone line. Tonight's a little short, I know, but thank you very much for joining us and we will be right back here. We're going to play, we're going to play this out here. Patty Carr is going to play this out. She's got a show coming up, The Wits End, on July 31st. 7 p.m. 7 p.m. in Venice. Here it is, Patty Carr. It wasn't but just a year ago that I stepped out here before I saw you I saw you I saw you I saw you I saw you I saw you I made my way across the room Did everything I thought I had to do to get you Give everything inside of me Let go of all that I believe to be true But it wasn't enough to keep us strong Oh no, no, at least not Not for long Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh How did everything go so wrong? Oh, oh, oh I thought I had it all figured out Before I met you I was so wrong Now I don't even recognize my I don't even recognize my Say I am No, oh Not my Say I am Oh, oh, oh No, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no No, no, no See it wasn't just those daily things Had to be those names Those maybe things That broke me Cause holding on to hope that love Can only make the pain go on Just past you Cause you gave everything inside of you Like all of all that you believed To be true Oh, oh, oh There's never enough to keep us strong Oh, no, no At least not Not for long Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh How did everything go so wrong? I thought I had it all figured out Before I met you I was strong Now I don't even recognize my Say I am No, oh, oh Not my Say I am Oh, oh, oh No, no, no At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long At least not for long Nothing goes so wrong. I thought I had it all figured out. Before I met you. Oh, before I met you, I was. Patty Carr. Patty Carr.net. Patty, what song was that? That was a song called So Wrong. So Wrong. What was that about? Who was that about? So Wrong is about my relationship with Porter. So Wrong. So, so, so. Well, I wanted to, before we talk a little bit about it with you guys, I just want to, real quick, I want to wrap up a couple things here. Ben Alclay, as much as we give you a hard time here, thanks so much for joining us here and participating on the panel here. Zazzle.com slash Totally Rad Prince. The URL, it's in parentheses. The URL is useless. He's not. He says. But go to Zazzle.com slash Totally Rad Prince, and you can get a discount. What's the discount code? Enter I Heart Zazzle to get 20% off. I Heart Zazzle to get 20% off there. And then also, we're giving away a couple T-shirts tonight. Do we have anybody, Porter? It looks like we have TomKiller73. Okay. And at EWO99. Awesome. So those are our winners for the night. Nice. At EWO99. That's right. And at TomKiller. TomKiller. I feel like we're just going to, here's a suicide bomber. Here's a free-to-wear shirt. Please wear it when you kill. I mean, if you can see this guy's photo, you're not far off. Please don't kill us. That is, that's Ben Alkway. And check out, they are some really cool shirts. And he's, within a day already has like, I don't know. 70 Facebook fans. 70 Facebook fans in 24 hours. So he's doing all right for himself. He's actually got a big family. That's what it is. That's what it is. And joining us, our musical guests, just a few minutes left here, but I'm very glad to have both Patty Carr and Alex Davis in the rat cage tonight, guys. Thanks, Justin. Yeah, Alex, go ahead. We talked to Patty a little bit. I want to ask you real quick. I know your next show is coming up Wednesday, July 31st, also at the Woodson. Are you guys playing together? Are you? We're playing a few songs together, but my band is playing a separate set at 9 p.m. It's Alex Davis and the Aerie Sisters. Alex Davis and the Aerie Sisters. And they can check you out at, what is it, luckyalex.com, right? Luckyalex.com and facebook.com, or facebook.com slash luckyalexdavis and youtube.com slash alexdavismusic as well. That's right. All those places. Awesome. And how long have, Alex, how long have you been playing music? I think I picked up a toy guitar when I was two years old. Okay, so for a few minutes. And so, but when did, like, so when did you start getting serious about music as far as, you know, when did it become, when did it go from a hobby to, you know, this is something that I want to dedicate my life to? Well, there are a couple answers. The first one is I was 13 when I played drums in a pop punk band and I wanted to tour the world as a drummer, even though I'd never taken a lesson in my life. But the second time, I guess it was a few years ago, I was living here, born and raised here, and just started playing local clubs. Cubs. I started playing Cubs. Bears. I started playing Bears. Musical Bears. You grew up in L.A., right? Yeah. Okay. Do you ever get this thing, like, being in L.A. where you just want to get the hell out sometimes and it's claustrophobic almost? Or is it something where, I mean, or do you just, do you love the town? Do you never leave? How, I'm always interested in people's relationship who grow up in L.A. with the city. Well, I guess it might be it's complicated. If it was a Facebook relationship with the city of L.A. It might be that. Because I have a lot of people here that I love, and I have, you know, my family and friends, and there's a lot of areas around L.A. that I love. I don't like that it's four miles between each of them. And that's the main problem. And there's other issues I have with it here. Ultimately, I don't think I want to raise children here. But who knows what happens. I like people who say that, though. Like, I would never raise my children in L.A., you know? I would never raise my kids in L.A. It's a bubble, you know? It's not the real problem. It's not the real world. And it's like, you're right. But you know what? Your kids may grow up and make a lot of money and be on a show called The Real World. So it could all pay off. Not my kids. Not my kids. Okay, I'm interested. And this is, like I said, the most serious question of the night here. Who would you rather have a baby with, Prince William or Prince Harry? Your thoughts. Oh, well, I want to have a baby with the monkey they own who lives in the corner. So you're going to go with William. Okay. Okay. I get it. I don't think that's funny. Poor William. Poor William. I take William. Ball. I like a bald guy. I like a bald guy, too. Especially a bald, rich guy. Yeah. Come on, me and Patty, we're taking William. Let's clear a couple things up first of all. William doesn't give a shit about our show. And that guy's got more money than God. So, you know, I feel okay taking my shots at William. Oh, you bitter poor guy. The girl who got killed by the shark, I feel better about her. I feel bad about that one. Really? But this one. Isn't it ironic? That was good. And Patty, we just have another minute left here, but people can check you out where? Facebook.com slash Patty Car Music. Okay. And you're playing, again, the 31st at What's In at 7 o'clock? 7 p.m. 7 p.m. So you'll be on before Alex, but he'll be playing some music with you, right? Yeah, absolutely. Alex is going to play a couple songs with me. I have a really good friend, Mallory, and she's going to be playing some music with me, too. Awesome. 45-minute set. It's going to be a lot of fun. Check him out. Yeah. What's up, Alex? Our friends, well, Patty doesn't know they're her friends yet, but my friends Jonah and Jamie have a band called Fire Chief Charlie. They're playing in between us at 8 p.m. Oh, nice. They're a really cool band. That's awesome. Fire Chief Charlie. Fire Chief Charlie. Check him out. Spend the night at Wits End. Definitely. Next week. Pass out on the floor. Yeah. That is awesome, guys. We have to get out of here early. We started a little late. We got another show coming in, but I really appreciate. Do you have one more song at all that you can play real quick? We have a two-minute. Yeah. Two-minute song? Okay. Let's go ahead and let's do the two-minute song. Or do we have maybe just a minute of it? How about a minute of it? I know this is like one. I can just play it out. Is that cool? Okay. Yeah. Okay. So we're going to play the show out. Guys, thank you for listening. And we are going to be giving away those shirts. Check us out. Next Wednesday here in skidrowstudios.com. Some awesome shows here on skidrowstudios.com. We will be back next Wednesday, 8 to 9 p.m. Check us out on Twitter at sarcasticnews1, sarcastic-news.com. New articles every day. And here it is. Patty Gar, taking us out. I won't last the night. No, I couldn't if I tried. Because I don't want to fight. And there's nothing left to eat. I'm going to go to bed.