Female sexual desire and arousal studies

Good evening. This is Sex and Liberty. Thank you for joining us. I'm Dr. Limor Blockman. And I'm Luanne Hernandez. How are you, my darling? Good. How are you? Good, good. It's very good to be here tonight. Yes, it is. And it's warm and hot and sizzling in here. We're like dying. Okay. So, yeah. So, we're here tonight and we're going to talk about something very dear to us and very important. And we're hopeful that all our female listeners are going to absorb something. I don't know. And, you know, take it and use it and spank their partners with it. And that the men will enjoy it as well. I know. So, you want to present our topic tonight? Sure. Our topic tonight is female sexual desire. I'm getting hot just thinking about it. I know. So, yeah. There's so much to say about sexual desire when it comes to women because, and I like to start with a quote from Robert Frost. One of my favorites. And he said that the female need is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. And that is right on the money to me. I mean, it's kind of, it kind of sums it up when you think about it because a big, big part of female desire is based on the fact that you feel desired. What do you think? I could see that a lot. Yeah. I think a lot of women view. I think a lot of women view that in general as being an outside source. Like you want to be desired by somebody else outside. And I think we can also work on desiring ourselves as well. Right. But do you think that the main thing that is external that creates, that kind of ignites female desire is the fact that you feel desired? Is that like 50% of the equation? That's interesting. I don't, I'm not, I think that's probably about 50% of the equation. I find that. If you are able also to exude the idea that you are desirable, that it becomes this weird little like symbiotic type of force where men desire what men desire women that already feel desirable. Okay. So you mean, I'm just stopping you in the middle to, to verify what you mean. Yeah. You mean these advertisers, you know, that tell you buy a red bra. Because you'll feel desired and then you'll, you'll exude it. This is what you refer to? I think it's more, I don't even think it means like about having a red bra or anything. No, just specifically. Yeah. That something external will make you feel something that you wear or the way you wear your hair or something. No, no, just like your confidence. It's not something about what you have on you. It's just kind of like men find confidence and security desirable. So confidence or appearance? I think it has an, I think it's not necessarily appearance. I don't think men necessarily find just appearance desirable. I think that it's a way of holding yourself and a way of being comfortable with your own sexuality that makes men more comfortable being desirable. Okay. Yeah. But being visual, it probably has to, so you're, you're, so keep going. Yes. I disturbed you. No, no. I think that when women feel more comfortable too, and they're sexualized, they're more comfortable with their own sexuality, that men, that they recognize their own desirability and that men also start to recognize it as well. Like. So it's like, it's a cycle. It's a cycle. And so because you feel more comfortable with yourself. They find you desired. They find you more desired. And then because people desire you. They find you desired. You feel more desirable. It's endless. I know. It's like fake it till you make it. I know. Yes. And make it and make it. So I want to start with one of the latest success books that I've came across, which is Daniel Berger, Berger's book, which with the wonderful title, What Do Women Want? So since Freud, we've been trying to fucking answer that question unsuccessfully. What do women want? What the fuck do you want? I mean, nobody knows. And the book is kind of going on and on. And it's not just about what is it that really women want. But he emphasizes and talks a lot about eros and female desire in general. And he brings a lot of he cites a lot of studies and a lot of researchers. And one of them is a study by Meredith Shivers, who is one of the biggest researchers in this field. And she actually did a bunch of she conducted a bunch of. Studies about a bunch of experiments on women and men. But I'll relate to the female part. And what she did is she took different oriented women, women that describe themselves as heterosexual or bisexual or homosexual. It doesn't matter. Or by society. It doesn't matter, you know, whether they said they were or society would would title them as that. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. picks bits and pieces of different erotic scenes to them. So it could be an Adonis walking on the beach or two females having wild sex or heterosexual sex or primates having sex. And what she did is, and I'm talking again, she did a different thing with the males, but what she did with the females is using a plethysmograph. Do you know what it is? Is that the thing that you put up inside? Right. So for women, it was vaginal. Just for our listeners and viewers, it's something that you should explain and describe it and give all the sizzling parts about what it makes you feel. But the thing is, what it's supposed to do is actually kind of verify the physical reaction and then you can see the results. So the reaction is what you verbally say that it's sort of in accord to the other side. And what she did is that. She actually asked these women, what do you find attractive? And at the same time, she examined the reaction of the plethysmograph inside them. And what do you think were the results when it came to the women? I think they were aroused by a lot more than they said that they were. Okay. Do you want to be specific? I don't think there was... I think that the vaginal reaction was a lot, you know, for most of the scenes was pretty much the same. But what they said was... Pretty much the same. So they found everything arousing? Yeah. I think they found a lot more arousing. And then what they actually felt comfortable saying, they were aroused. What do you think they felt comfortable? With whatever orientation they were set up with. Yeah. Well, it was... Actually, it was very close to what you said. But it was unbelievably shocking to find that women, not only that they found everything arousing, including the apes. Right. I'll have you know. I'm like, oh. But the reaction... Oh, they were... You know, the plethysmograph went crazy. I mean, it was... Everything just was up the roof. They couldn't really... It really showed that they found absolutely everything, including the heterosexuals. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there were many other heterosexual women that claimed that they found nothing about the female on female action. Interesting. But, you know, their vaginal reaction showed differently. And it was interesting because they kept asking and trying to create less bias when, you know, they try to make it more comfortable for the women to answer. Affirmatively. Anonymously, maybe. Or, you know, saying, trying to create the right, frame for it for them to really give you the right answers and they kept saying that they didn't find it attractive not this and not that and as I said even the frolicking or you know penetrating apes were extremely exciting for the women so um what do you think that is I mean is this just a social thing that we're like uncomfortable with first of all do women really find everything that attractive including the apes well I mean watching someone yeah if women are when women really one of the big problems is that women are taught to suppress their sexuality in our society they do yeah really I know shocking but you know I think women's sexuality in general is very you know we've talked about this before it's very fluid it's very open and I think you know it's that women would find so many things sexually arousing it doesn't surprise me it's usually when um you know I encounter people either professionally or personally who seem to have a little bit more of a suppressed sexuality yes or repressed sexuality however you want to call it I mean it's it's shocking to me because if you could just release and let go of those like barriers inhibitions inhibitions social or or personal yeah exactly you It would open them up not only just sexually, but just, you know, who they are as people. Right. So you think it's only, the restriction is only social, but women do find everything attractive. I mean, the vaginal, everything sets the vaginal fire. I think it's also part of empathy. Like, I think that also comes into play as well. Like women can empathize with other women. You know, when you are watching. We're talking about arousal. Right. But I think that's, I think part of it is empathy is feeling as though what's going on is happening. Yeah, I know. We know what empathy is, but I don't see how empathy will relate to like fucking apes. On that note. Yeah. Just that. I mean, but they also did apes. They weren't doing like, here are two cockroaches going at it. Yeah. But it's still like, it's interesting that women found that as arousing as the Adonis walking on. And by the way, I'll have you know that the Adonis walking on the beach. Yeah. He didn't get the highest score. No, because it wasn't active. With his V-shape and all of the above. It's not active. Yeah. It was like, oh, he's hot. But okay. You know, I like the apes better. I like to see the actual action. I know. Let me see some penis vagina going on. Yeah. Don't give me the soft core crap. Or, you know, yeah. Please, just hardcore here. I know. Just hardcore. Animal Planet, that's fine. I'll take what I can get at this point. That's good for me. Or, you know, a double vagina. Yeah, exactly. That's also good. Good. So, yeah. Well, I tend to agree. And I found that experiment very reassuring because I do believe that female sexuality, and we'll talk about fluidity and all of the above. But I do find, I was actually surprised that they found, for instance, the Adonis less attractive than the apes, for instance. I would think that on a personal level, I would be more excited about the guy walking with his dick whittling. Well, was it hard or was it soft? I mean, they didn't really specify, did they? Well, it was, they did specify. I'm trying to recall. He was walking with an erection? He was walking with an erection partially, part of the time. I think he probably saw the fucking apes. I know. Well, I mean, like, a naked guy walking around. Yeah, but he was really hot. And, you know, yeah. So, I can, you know. Yeah. I mean, but it's not going to arouse me. I'm like, oh, a really hot naked guy. Oh, please. I've seen you getting distracted. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Thanks so much, Miss Small. But, I mean, I'm not like, I'm just like, ooh, it takes a little bit longer. Yes. Longer and longer. I know. Yes. So, other theorists claim that, and I, again, I tend to agree with what Shivers found in these experiments. And I do support the idea that female sexuality is so vast and fluid and women get excited over, and really aroused over. I mean, it's, it's, we find things, some things more arousing than others. But, I find that women do get excited over most. And when it comes to anything sexual or that should create arousal. But, other theorists claimed, and this is interesting, especially in regards to this specific experiment or similar ones that use plethysmographs to examine females' moistness. Moistness, you would say. They said that, and that was, their names were very complicated, so I'm not going to say. But they, it was a Canadian research. And they said that this moistness or this, this, this, this feeling that this sensation that what it examined and found, the plethysmograph, was actually something that a vaginal reaction that is based on. Based on an evolutionary biological reaction that has nothing to do with arousal per se, but actually has to do with sort of a system that protects women from the possibility of being raped or taken forcefully. Yeah, I've heard, actually, I've actually heard this study before. Yes. Yeah. So. So, that it, it, the, the, the moistness is actually, you know, the vaginal lubrication is actually there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. protect them and actually that lubrication is not an indication of arousal it's just a biological reaction or evolutionary remain and that it has nothing to do because and I quote they say women do not really want to have sex with bonobos they don't I don't know that's hard to say because some people do I know I know because you know so I don't necessarily I know but what do you think does that make sense I mean you said you were familiar with with them well I mean they they said bonobos are the closest to like this is why I said bonobos yeah because I was gonna say because bonobos also have sex in missionary position and they use sex as a currency in their little communities right and it's also a matriarchal society so it's you know I'm like well if you're using bonobos I mean we're talking not that far from the tree yeah and you know if it's a hairy guy I mean let's just say no I know let's just be honest yeah I know yeah so so what do you think I mean is that does that make sense that what they're completely claim the opposite I mean that it has nothing to do with with with excitement or with arousability so I mean it's hard to I mean the human body is very complex also and we don't but also the mind is and our barriers to wanting to accept I think our own sexuality and desire is probably more significant than these evolutionary potentially potentially evolution because really evolutionary psychology and biology let's be real there's no way to really test it like we just kind of guess you know we we make theories on it and we can kind of we kind of will draw conclusions based on it but there's no fine like there's no like hard fast rule the way there is with the mind and the body and the mind is the same thing so I mean I think that's a good point with a lot of other well you know when it comes to anything human it's a problem because we can't have experiments but regardless of how you know how strong their their what their claim is do you think that it makes more sense that women did get aroused or you know lubricated because of arousability or is that maybe really just like a self-protective factor in the event of getting raped or something maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe middle midway midway maybe something because I for one I do think that it to me it makes more more sense what shivers said that everything was arousing then the protective factor of lubrication in case of right in case of right yeah of forceful entry of any form yes exactly you're like whoa you're here okay well they're here okay well they're here okay well they're here okay well they're here okay well they're here okay well they're here okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay note, you know, all these magazines always have polls when it comes to and a bunch of even scientific magazines have different surveys and polls when it comes to what how much sex do women want or how much sex do men want and does it fall into place together and do they want the same thing? And I'll get to it. But there were a bunch of from the same polls. There were a bunch of things that they kind of concluded after examining the females and males that kindly agreed to give their reactions that, you know, usually it's so biased and it's so not true and it's so not real because we're always concerned about what people are going to think about us. And as we said about Chivers and her and her conclusions. But I found a few things that are kind of entertaining. And yeah, one of them was women who regularly attend church. Oh, God. Are less likely to have permissive attitudes about sex. Shocking. Shocking. I don't know if it's the same for synagogue. I think that's the because I'm talking from the Jewish perspective. I think it's actually. No. Yeah. You know, you know, the Old Testament, the Old Testament tells you to be fruitful and multiply. Right. And I say, you know, be playful and multi-climax. It's better. And my rabbi will support me. Yeah. I don't have a rabbi. But if he did, if I did. If I had a rabbi, he would be one that would agree with that. Yes. He would agree with this. Another thing was that was really funny. Women were more influenced by attitudes of their peer groups. So it's like you swallow because I want to know. I'll do it if you do it. Like, hold up. No, because I need to know. Like, I'm not going to do it if you don't do it. So let's decide on it. Let's do it. We're going to do it. Let's make sure that we're all on the same page. Yeah, on the same page. Are we the girls that swallow or the girls that don't? Yeah, no, because we need to have like a pack. Yeah, exactly. The swallowers. Yeah. So that was something like that. And this is something you like and that you can relate to for both of us. Women that had higher education were more likely to have performed a wider variety of sexual activities. Yeah. Including oral sex. For God's sake. What do they mean including? Is that something that doesn't happen? Like, I don't understand. Some people it doesn't happen for them. So I am now shocked on two ends. Yeah, I know. I was like, whoa. I know. Yeah. So unbelievably. Blowing my mind. Isn't it amazing that women that are educated and, you know, advanced will find oral sex appealing? Makes sense. Who thought that? Yeah. I feel like the rest of them just haven't tried it enough. I know. What have I been doing? Yeah, exactly. I'm like, what are you doing in there? What are you doing in there? I know. And there was another one that I found, you know, kind of truthful and unfortunate. Women were more likely than men to show inconsistency between what they're expressing or the values that they really practice. Shocking. Shocking. Yes. I'm not going to do it. You know what? I'll do it. Don't tell anybody. I'll do it. All right. I'll swallow it, but don't say it to anyone. We're going back to the swallowing. No. Just don't tell my friends because they are not part of the swallowers. Yeah. That pack. I'm hanging out with that pack and it's like I can't afford it. Yeah, exactly. I know. I'll be kicked out. I know. With a big scarlet S. I know. For semen. I'm going to have to be wearing it on my vagina. Exactly. It's like, yeah, it's not a good thing. So, yeah. What do you think? I mean, does that make sense? Women are like that? I mean, are we? Are we like that? Are we like pretending that everything's okay when it's not? Pretending that everything is okay when it's not. Claiming that we're not swallowing when we do. Performing oral sex. Shocking. Yes. Shocking. How dare. Oh, yeah. Is this who we are? I mean, again, it goes so against our, at least, you know, from what I, our beliefs and, you know, belief system. But what do you think? In general, is this very representative? Of the female, you know, kind of behavior when it comes to. I think it is difficult for women to be direct and honest with what they, what they do in general, but especially when it comes to sex, because there's the whole fear of being labeled a slut or a whore. Even in this revolutionary time. Look at my face. Look at my face. What is that? Look at my face. What am I saying? No. No, I think, you know, I think it is. A lot. I think it is still a problem. And I think, you know, I think women do feel a lot more inhibited. I mean, not a lot more, but I do think women feel inhibited. Yeah. Acknowledging that the extent of their sexual desires and both. So they feel the need to lie about it. Yeah. Even, well, to their friends, which is kind of surprising because women do like to share stories. Yeah. Well. You know. The women we know. Yeah. Well, us. Well, the women we know like to share the dirty stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So, yeah. But it's interesting. It is still interesting in this society. Women, even though it's so embraced to, you know, female power and we have all these shows, you know, and everything is so. Sex in the city. Yeah. And so pushed towards, you know, this empowerment to be sexual and to be proud of it. But still, we're lying about our actions and we're not saying, you know, and we're like, we have to. Like, we have to like, we have to like, we have to like, we have to like, we have to women want sex more than men. But it's funny, I found that the avian world is, you know, comparing to the mammalian world, it's kind of interesting because the alpine accenters, you know, which are French birds, I think because they're French. Right, that's why. You know, it's like bonjour baguette, kind of, you know, every morning. So they, like, the females are actually pursuing the males and harassing them to have sex with them. Like, man, you're not really providing. I'm going to have to check in with someone else. You know, keep kicking the work. I mean, otherwise, they're really, like, very harassing the males. Maybe I'm a French bird. Could be. I saw some aspects of that. I think that might be true. Yes, I think we should examine that. Yeah, so going back to that poll that I said, before, they asked, of course, men and women, how often would they like to have sex and what is acceptable to them? What do you think? Just throw a wild number. Men think they want to have sex seven times a week. Every day? Yeah, I think men think they want that. What is that, like, 100% of men think that, you think? Not 100%. But close? I think a crazy amount probably. Like, I want to have sex every day. Reality? They don't? I don't think most men want to have sex. They want to have a beer and go to bed. They're like, oh. That was fun for, like, a week and a half. Goodbye. I kind of want to just sleep. Yes, and when you wake up, I'm not there. I know. Okay, so, yeah, so just wild guess. You think that men would say every day? I think men would say. Close to 90% of men would say every day. And women? And women probably are like, oh, two or three times a week. Yeah, it's like, you know. No, I don't need to have sex. I don't have it that much. I don't need to. I'm like, I'm just going to go to bed with my. Vibrator next to me. With my, yeah, my Romans novel and my vibrator. Yeah. And just think of. Somebody else. Anybody else. Anybody. Well, you know, it was actually surprising. Because, first of all, I want to say here and now. That anything less than three times a week, I'm not reporting. Because you need to go fuck yourself. It will do you good. Honestly, literally. You need to go fuck yourself. At that point, you need to. Yes, I'm not reporting it. I'm sorry. I apologize. But if you want it less than three times a week, I'm not even talking to you. But, yeah. So, men said. 32% of men said every day. In comparison to 25% of women. Which is very close. That is very close. That is very close and very low. Yeah. You know, these were the highest numbers, of course. You know, the highest percentage. But, every day was 32% comparing to 25%. And then, three times a week was even closer. Men said 29% said three times a week. And 27% of women. Three times a week seems to be the right amount for everybody. It is the right amount. I would say three times a day. But, what? How many had six? Giving one day for God. Sorry. I am not reporting them. I am not. I'm not accepting that kind of thing. I know. Yeah. So, yeah. So, that was interesting. And kind of more truthful than I would expect. But, I want to stay on this subject for just a minute. And ask you. Do you really think. So, you started and said. That men claim that they want to have a daily encounter. At least. Right? Right. Once a day. But, they don't really. How often do you think they really want it? I think it's probably about three times a week. I think. Yeah? About three times a week. Then, the rest of the time they want to whack off. Really? Yeah. They prefer to whack off. I think it's less. I think, you know. Sometimes what we. What I. I mean. What we probably see. And. Professionally also. Is that men get a lot of performance anxiety. And the idea that sex is a performance. I'm like. I'm not going to give you an applause. After you orgasm or I orgasm. That's just not going to happen. I may. Unless it's amazing. I may. I may. Let's just be real. As an innovation. I know. Unless. Unless it's freaking like. Amazing. I know. Yes. Freaking ballet. Yes. You know. But no. Most of the time it's kind of like. A recital. Yeah. Exactly. Most of the time it's like a B-rate movie. Like. You know. That is so unfortunate. Everyone's going to get an Oscar worthy one. I know. It's like at least something close. If you played your instrument right. A Grammy. Just saying. Okay. Most of the time. Most of the time it's not in that. Not in that. That category. Okay. Let's just be real. Like keeping it real. Oh. This is so unfortunate. I'm so sad. It's true. Yeah. I mean. So. Men feel this performance anxiety. Obviously. As we're. So they prefer to just jerk off and. I think that. And then it also takes work to get a woman to want to sleep with you. Well. If you are in a relationship. I'm talking. Even if you're in a relationship. It takes a lot of work to get. You know. Your partner to be like. Hey. Really? I think it kind of. It kind of. Not all women are like. After a while. They're like. All right. It's been the same dick for the last. Two years. You know. Yes. You gotta spice it up. Or. You can dress it up. Yeah. Exactly. Put a little donut around it. I don't know. Something. Something exciting. It's so. It's so sad. I mean. So it gets stale. You say. Yes. I think it. I think it can. I think that it takes a lot of work to keep it up. Right. You know. So. On both ends. Let's say that. On both ends. People will kind of strive for. Like three times a week would be tops. Kind of thing. I think. Over a long sustained period of time. Yeah. Like if you're doing it three times a week. Two to three times a week. You're doing pretty well. Considering that's the same. You know. Dick and pussy that have been going on for the last. Yeah. I guess. It's unfortunate. I don't know about. You know. The average person. I know that it's. Not acceptable. In my field. But. I find. You know. There's. There's some. Scientific. You know. Support to what you're saying. And it's unfortunate. There was even. A theory called the. The jelly bean jar. Theory. Oh lord. Do you know of it? No. Please tell me. Yes. The jelly bean jar. Theory. And that. The theory says. That. The amount of sex. That we will have. On our first year of marriage. Okay. This is how it's conducted. Every time you have sex. On your first year of marriage. You throw a jelly bean. Into the jar. And then. After the first year of marriage. Every time you have sex. You take one out. They concluded. That after 20 years of marriage. There will still be jelly beans in there. That's very sad. That is so sad. I want to cry. That makes me very sad. But yeah. But that was the conclusion. And that kind of. You know. Falls into. The same place. With what you're claiming. Which is very unfortunate. But yeah. I think that the best. Um. Numbers would be three times a day. But. That's just. Yeah. Okay. I would get a little tired. I don't know where we're fitting in. All these three times a day. Well. Twice at night. One in the morning. Okay. Is that uncomfortable? Yeah. I was like. I know. It's like one. That makes sense. Once before bed. Then in the middle of the night. Then in the morning. Oh. Is that good? That makes sense. Yes. That could work. I mean. When I have a weekend. When I don't have to go to. No. Not weekend even. Yeah. No. But I'm just saying. Because you can sleep like four hours. And then have a break. And then go back to sleep. Yeah. And then have a quick. I like to sleep all the way through. I need my eight hours. You're not a French bird. I don't think so. I don't think I'm a French bird. I think I lost my French birdiness. I know. I'm taking your wings off. Yeah. Okay. So. Marta Miena. Who is the president of Society of Sex Therapy. And research. Was very interesting about this. She also. Supports Shiver's. Research. And experiments. And said that the female desire is so. You know. Expanded. And so big. And she said. That what is interesting. About female desire. Is that. And I like. I like her theory. She said that. The female body. Holds a promise. A suggestion of sex. Because. Aroused or not. It looks the same. Yes. We don't have a reaction. We don't have an erection. And so. Another reaction. Another erection. And so. And so. And so. We can be hot and bothered. But nobody. Needs to know. Right. And so. There's always the potential. Of engaging in sexual activity. And so. That's why. Women can be aroused. And excited all the time. And they are. She claims they are. And nobody really has to answer to anything. While with men. It's so. You know. Such a functional thing. Yeah. That they have to always. You know. Either justify their erection. Yeah. Or justify. It's absence. Right. In a way. I'm sorry. I just had a really long day. I know. Yeah. Keep going. I'm just really tired. I know. I don't. I don't know what happened. Throw it in the jelly bean when you leave. I'm like. Give me my jelly bean back. I know. You don't get to put that in there. You're not getting it. I know. So what do you think? Does that make sense? Oh. Absolutely. I mean. I think that's why. A woman's body is so arousing in general. Yeah. To anybody who views it. Mm-hmm. Because it. Like she says it. Offers a promise. Yeah. Yeah. And it's also just more appealing. Well. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. So. Steven Levine. Is also a. Theorist in this field. And he said. Something interesting. He said the sexual desire. Is actually. A sum. Of everything that. Lean. That makes us lean towards. Sexual activity. And away from it. That it's like. A combination. Of everything. That draws us in. And everything. That pushes us. Away. And he said. That there are three. Well. He was very. He detailed it. And he said. That it ranges. Between aversion. Disinclination. Indifference. Interest. Need. And passion. And he said. That that. Desire. Is mainly. Combined. From three things. Mainly. Drive. Which is biological. Motive. Which is psychological. And then. Wish. Which is cultural. Which is cultural. Does that make sense to you? That. It's so complex. That we have to have. All these aspects. To get aroused. That this is. What desire is about. I mean. Does that make sense? That sounds like. Way too complicated. It sounds. It sounds like. It's a lot. You spent too long. I was like. I was like. I got distracted right now. And if I had. An erection. I would have lost it. Yes. But this is why. You don't have one. I know. I know. But this is the thing. That he claimed. That when it comes. To. Especially women. All these things. Have to be integrated. Together. To get. The sexual desire. To me. It sounds. A little too complex. Yeah. Well. But here's the thing. I also. I don't doubt. That the cultural aspect. Plays a large role. Okay. So the. The wish part. Yeah. How. How is that? Why the cultural? Because I think. That's what causes. A lot of women. To feel inhibited. And to impose. Their own inhibitions. On themselves. As well. But if you have the drive. Which is biological. Right. And then you have the motive. That is. Psychological. You feel someone. You know. You get aroused. You look at someone. He's. He's exciting you. He's hot. Yeah. He's hot. Why. Why would the wish part. The cultural part. Because. Throw you off. Because you feel like it's wrong. Here's a good example. Yes. Okay. Okay. Culturally. You know. If you're in a. If you're a female. In a relationship. Yeah. Or if you're in a monogamous relationship. Yes. Right. It's a good. It's good. Correction. That you had there. Yeah. I know. If you're a monogamous relationship. Yes. You. Are not. Like there's this expectation. Of. You know. Here's a good. I'm sorry. I'm trying to like. Yeah. No. Take your time. So. I don't know what it is lately. But I feel like. I see a lot of very attractive men. Good looking men. And like. On Friday. Because you live here. In this town. Yes. Because I live in LA. And there are a lot of. Really good looking men around. So you're walking around. No. Like they're like. Aroused. Let me just take my shirt off. While I'm running. And I'm all like. I know. The Adonis on the beach. Hello. Hello there. I know. But you know. And I'll text my girlfriends. And I'll joke. I'll be like. You never texted me about this. I resent that. I'm sorry. You know what. In all fairness. It's mostly my sister. Because I'm like. Yeah. I'll text my sister. I'll accept it. You probably think. That I'm in the middle of. An. Activities. Exactly. Activities. Yes. Which. You know. No. I mean sexual. Yeah. No. I got it. I was not confused. I know. Okay. But. Yeah. I'll be like. Oh. Like. Some really handsome guy. Just. Helped me with my laundry. You know. Like. I was just minding my business. Trying to get my. This is like. The beginning of a hardcore. Right. This is. Can I take your. Pamper. Exactly. I'm like. Getting out of my car. And this gorgeous man. On Friday. And it's just like. Ah. There's like music. Right. And he's like. Hold on ma'am. And I was like. Oh ma'am. You just fucking called me ma'am. Well. Get on your knees. Sorry. I know. I'm like. Carrying. I'm like. Trying to get it. I'm struggling with all my laundry. And he's like. Your underwear is flying in the air. Exactly. Oh my god. Literally. I'm so. I don't. Because I have all this. Dirty laundry. Jenny's even like. Excited. And I'm like. Oh my goodness. And I'm wearing like. A dress. Whatever. Of course. It's all hardcore. Okay. I know. I'm not wearing a bra. Let's keep going. Okay. So. It's. It's trivial. Trivial. Yes. But. I was like. Maybe that's why. I don't know. And so then he's like. Here. Let me help you with your trunk. And I was like. Let me lift it with my dick. Yeah. I know. I was like. Okay. Oh my god. I'm all. Okay. No problem. And he like. Opens my trunk up. And I like. Get my laundry. He's like. Oh. I thought you were trying to put it in. I was like. You mean your car. Okay. I was like. Oh. I was like. Oh no. I was trying to get it out. And I was like. Everything. Do you realize that the innuendos. I know. Are like ridiculous at this point. I know. That if someone actually listens. Someone just dropped in. I know. They're sure. That we're having like. This is a real story. This is a real story. This happened to me on Friday. I'm just minding my business. Trying to get my laundry. Like struggling. Like all this stuff coming. You're all distracted now. I know. He has. I'm sorry. So then he's like. Oh. I'm sorry. I thought you were trying to put it in. I was like. No. I was just trying to get. Taking it out. Trying to get it out. No. Oh. Okay. He slams it shut. And I was like. Like. Like shaking after. Because he was really good looking. Okay. And I was like. Oh my God. And then he's like. All right. Well. He's trying to chat me up. And I was like. Like super awkward. I was like. All right. Well. I have all this. Like. I got to go do my laundry now. And then you feel bad. Because. But then you. You know. And then I'm like. Well. I didn't. I didn't feel bad. I was like. Oh. You didn't feel bad. I was like. I'm sorry. This is just my life. I was like. Welcome to LA. And. I'm not feeling bad. But I go up. And I. You know. I text my friends. And I was like. Oh my God. Like. I texted this. Like. I texted my sister. And I was like. Oh my God. This hot guy just helped me with my laundry. It was kind of like. It was out of a porno. Like. Yeah. That's what I said. It was hardcore. It was. Is everything okay in your relationship? Yeah. Everybody's judging you immediately. Right. Because it's like. If you're. If you're aroused by someone else. Something is wrong. Something is wrong. You're lacking. Yeah. And I was like. You're deprived. I was like. I am very deprived. Oh boy. I'm here to fix your pipes. I know. I know. Exactly. I need a little help with that. I know. But you know. It's like. One of those things. It's like. No. I'm very happy. But a very handsome man comes over. And helps me with. Helps me with. Helps me with my laundry. Straight out of a porno. Yeah. Like. You know what I mean? Yeah. With the trunk opening and closing. Opening and closing. And like. Here let me help you. And I said. Your underwear is in the air. I know. Exactly. Oh. Like. Oh. Yeah. I don't know. My underwear is barely underwear. And it's all over the place at this point. I'm like. Oh my God. I'm all like. Getting my stuff. Yeah. You'll have to save this story for. When we have our porn people. Our friends coming over. And it's coming. Yeah. But. Sorry. Anyway. That was. I mean. But it's. The question is. Is everything okay? Yeah. And it's not. How did you feel? Did you feel judged? Did you feel upset? No. I didn't. I was just. I was confused. Because I was all. Yeah. Everything's good. Yeah. You know. It has nothing to do. I'm just happy. I'm happy now. I just. I was like. Some hot guy just came up to me. And tried to come on to me. Like. I don't. I was like. I'm in a really good place right now. Everything's okay with my relationship too. Everything is terrific. Yes. Yeah. And I'm. Like. That happened right outside your apartment. And I love you. Oh. It did? It did. It was embarrassing. Yeah. Well. We have some good. Good looking men. I know. There are. Some very good looking men. And some senior citizens. As well. Yes. Yeah. So. So. I do. I don't know what you were trying. The point you were trying to make. No. But I'm saying that there's. I'm sorry. There was a point. And it was that. We have judgment. Right. Like. The cultural aspect is what kind of. Like. Here's. Here's an expression of. You know. I'm expressing like. Oh. Wow. Like. There's this really hot guy. Like. Being very like. In touch with that part of my body. Like. Being aroused. Being kind of turned on. You recognize that you're aroused. And it's okay. And then. The reaction. The social reaction is bad. The social reaction is that. You know. It's like questioning. Like. But no. You should only be. Turned on by one person. Right. If you're in a monogamous relationship. Which is not possible. Which is not possible. Right. Because you're human. Yeah. And women. Right. Exactly. Exactly. But that's. And I think that plays a large role. In our desire. And I think. The cultural. The cultural aspect. Social. Yeah. I agree. I agree. I want to touch something. That I found interesting. I got a little hot. Sorry. I know. Just. You want some water? I'm okay. I just realized. I'm like. Splash it on you. I know. Yes. I know. Hold on. Yeah. So. A bunch of. A bunch of. Theorists. Talk about. The connection. Between. The real. The real. Connection. Between. The physical. And the. More mental. Exaltation. When it comes to it. But they all found. That there's. An aspect of. And specifically. One of the. Neurotransmitters. Which is dopamine. When it comes to. Arousability. And the thing is. They said. That. Dopamine. Is like the female. Arousal. You know. Neurotransmitter. Because. It works. And I find it interesting. Because they said. That it works. Both. Ways. It works. If you are. Now. Just finished. You know. A wonderful encounter. With your lover. Or. A fantasy. Of the guy. With a hamper. I know. That's. That's. Going to come in handy. What were you doing. With your. I was doing my laundry. At his place. He has free laundry. Yeah. But why in front of my house? No. Not in front of your house. Oh. In front of his house. Oh. His house. I was like. Taking. Taking. Credit. I mean. It's like. We don't have laundry places. In Beverly Hills. You're like. I don't know what you're talking about. Yes. Okay. So. The dopamine. Actually. What. What would happen. Is that. If you just. Climaxed. There's a release. Of dopamine. Dopamine. That actually. Makes you feel. Exalted. And happy. And. And relaxed. And at the same time. You're able to run a marathon. But it works both ways. What I'm trying to say. Is that. Anything. That is. Exciting. Any. Situation. Where. For instance. And I'll take the most extreme one. For instance. I'm now. Someone that is participating. In the Olympics. And I just won a medal. My situation. Where I'm. That excited. Will create. You know. The grounds. For the release. Of dopamine. That will get me. To the verge of. A climax. So. And isn't it interesting. Like. And. And you get. A lot of testimonials. From people. That won something. Or just. You know. An event. That made them shine. You know. Or. Feel very good. About themselves. It works both ways. That. Either when you climax. You feel like. You can do all these things. And run. And do. And go crazy. Or. If you did. Just. The actual activity. You feel like. You're on the verge of. A climax. What. You were going to say something. No. It makes me happy. Yeah. It makes you want to run a marathon. I know. Just. It's a very. Never been a runner. I know. It's very interesting. I found it very interesting. But. It. It. It. Should be noted. That that specific. For instance. When it comes to dopamine. It can go. Both ways. Because if a woman. Gets adjusted. Or. You know. Keep. Keeps getting. Getting aroused. Sends. Release. She doesn't get the release. She. She's deprived of it. Say. She's excited. She. Is. Aiming to have. Climax. To climax. With her. Boyfriend. Partner. Whoever it is. And she doesn't get there. Or. He's not doing. A good job. Or. It doesn't take place. At all. The encounter. The body. Learns. And kind of registers. That. The dopamine levels. Go up. But nothing is being. You know. There's no. There's no gratitude. There's no reassurance. And then. Yeah. You go into this decline. That your body learns. That like. Pavlov's dog. You're not getting. Reimbursed. That makes me like. Deeply. Profoundly sad. I know. But it is. It is. And. And the reason I mention it. Because. We. As women. Need to remember. That our bodily reaction. Is very connected. To our mental. Exaltation. And when it comes to. And this is the reason. Why I brought dopamine. Because. If. Your body learns. That you're not being granted. With that satisfaction. That reassurance. That. That you're expecting. Then. You learn to. And you'll be deprived. Constantly. So. If you don't use it. You lose it. Yes. And this is exactly. What I'm saying. Yes. If you don't use it. You lose. If you don't use it. You lose it. Yeah. And I'm saying. Use it. As much as I can. Use it as much as possible. As much as you can. Yeah. And. Going back to the bonobos. For instance. Yeah. Because I wanted to touch. We don't have a lot of time. So I wanted to make sure. I touch female. Sexual fluidity. So I wanted to bring the bonobos. Again. Yes. Love those bonobos. Because they are adorable. And you know. Female bonobos. Are known for their homosexuality. They are known to engage in female on female action. And actually. The men do too. Sometimes too. Give me a banana. I'll give you a jack. Right. But less. Because as you said. It's my trait. It's a trait. It's a barter. Yeah. It's a barter. Hand job for bananas. I know. Yeah. It seems fair. All in all. It seems very fair. I agree. But. For a female bonobo. To not engage in this female. On female activity. She's going to be excluded. From a lot of things. From. Any sorts of activities. From gathering food. From fighting. And hurting the males. Even. Which they do. So. You kind of learn. That you need to be a part of it. And also. It kind of comes naturally. And. I'm mentioning the bonobos. Because they are. Our closest ancestors. And you know. It's related. And so. I'll go back to. You remember that. On one of the shows. I mentioned Lisa Diamond. That wrote that book. Sexual Fluidity. And. She. Sorry. She. She. Discussed. Really the idea. That women. Are designed. To find other women attractive. And that it's not anything. That you should. Find. Uncomfortable. How do you feel? I think it's. I think it's normal. I think. I don't think that there's. I think that there's sexuality. In all people. And that. We have the ability. To be attracted to. Whoever we want to be attracted to. And. There's a lot of. Attraction in general. So. I think that it's. I mean. I don't. I don't see anything wrong. Or. Unnatural. About. You know. Being attracted to other women. And. Being attracted to other men. And. Do you find. But do you find that. The need. That society has. To put us under. Orientation. Oh yeah. I think that's really weird. You're heterosexual. You're homosexual. You're bisexual. That's right. This is what we have. You know. These aspects of sexuality. They kind of turn us. Into these things. And then. If for instance. You find comfortable. With your sexuality. And you find another woman. Attractive. And you may. Want to engage. In any sexual activity. With her. You'll immediately be labeled. A lesbian. Or. Or bisexual. Or bisexual. Or. Or. Which is true. Because female sexuality. Is. Is geared towards. Bisexuality. Because we don't. And. Lisa Diamond actually. Specifies. About. About. About. About. About. About. Why. Is that so accessible. And why women are bisexual. By nature. And she brings. I'll try to make it short. She brings. Two. Two. Terms. Into this. Equation. She says. That there's. Proceptivity. Which is. The motivation. To engage. To initiate. Sexual. Encounter. And then. There's the arousability. The ability. To get aroused. And that the. Proceptivity. Is something. That was. Left. Out of. Our. Loss. Of. Asterisk. Because you know. High primates. Don't have. Asterisk. We're always. We're always able. There's no heat. Period. Right. We're always able. To engage. In sexuality. Sometimes I feel like I'm in heat. Right. Yeah. A long time ago. I'm in heat. But not a bitch. Yeah. Exactly. The thing is. Yeah. So she says. That there are two aspects to it. And the reason. Why. Proceptivity. Is more likely. To be. A bigger part. In a male. In a male's. Sexual. Realm. Than a female's. Because. Proceptivity. Usually peaks. Around estrogen. Highs. Which is around. The time that you're. You know. Ovulating. Ovulating. Or menstruating. Or whatever. And then erosibility. Is not. Is hormone independent. Right. It's around a month. And so it doesn't make sense. Biologically. Evolutionary wise. And everything. That will turn it into. These specific times. And so. And also. Proceptivity. Is initiating. Is the initiatory. Aspect of it. And then erosibility. Is. Just accepting. Right. The fact that you're aroused. And you know. Accepting a proposition. To have sex. And so. It's more suitable. For women. And so. If anybody. From any. Any side. Of the. The gender pole. Will come. And suggest sex. And you're aroused. You'll be inclined. To play. Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. I think her theory. Is very correct. And I embrace it. With two hands. And everything. And two legs. And two legs. And a vagina. Yeah. And. We have. Tons of other things. To discuss. But we don't have. A lot of time. You want to give our number. Just. And our. Yes. So don't forget. To download us on iTunes. Please. Yes. Sexindipity. Like serendipity. With an X. Instead of an R. Because we're not. R rated. We're X rated. Yes. We are. That's cute. Thank you. And the phone number is. 1-800-893-9562. And you can reach us. At drlamore.com. Hit contact. Hit contact. Thank you. Thank you. That's terrific. You know. The R and the X. I like that right. Fun. Yeah. How about porn? Because we're going to have. A show about porn. Do women watch porn? Hell yeah. Do women love porn? I enjoy porn. How many. What is the percentage. Of the porn viewers. Do you think? I don't know. Because we ain't going to touch it. But. We're going to touch it. At. You know. When it comes. But I was curious. And there are. You know. There are figures. I would love to hear those figures. What do you think? I don't know. About 75% of women. Will watch it. You're really. Very. Positive. I know. I'm in a mood. It's not there. You know. Yeah. But. But. Online. You know. Researchers. And you know. That kind of monitor. Who's. You know. Say. That it's about 40%. That's very depressing. Yes. But it's still. Maybe they're going on their. Male partners. Computers. I don't know. But yeah. It's. You know. There's a bunch of these. Companies. That actually. Keep track. Keep track. Of who's a female. And who's a male. That go into these. These sites. And they say. It's approximately. One of three. Which is. Not bad. And it's actually. Better than. A decade ago. For instance. It became. Better. It was. Close to 25%. Now it's close to 40%. And. I just want to say. That in regards to. X-rated material. And stuff. It is interesting. Also. That women. They found. That women. That viewed. X-rated material. And I'll go over it. When we have the. Our friends. From the porn industry. But I just want to touch. That. And say. That if women. Watched. Stuff. That is. X-rated. X-rated. During their. Heightened. Estrogen. Release. They tend. They had a tendency. To like it. More. Throughout the month. So. You should expose. Do you understand? Like. Like the pornography. Throughout the month. Yeah. Oh. If they specifically. Were exposed. To that material. When they were menstruating. Or they were. Ovulating. They found it. More interesting. Throughout the month. So it's really. Crucial. So. For you. To expose. Your partner. Yeah. Exactly. To sex. To sex. To. To. X-ray. And material. Around that time. I suggest. It like. Stays in this bank. Bank. Longer. I know. It's like. Oh. It's imprinted. I just want to say something. Because you mentioned. That attractive guy. Oh yeah. You sink it into that. I know. Oh God. Not again. I know. Do you think. That women have. And. Because I just mentioned. That at the time. And I'll just say it. Because we don't have. A lot of time. So women. Found. Men. That are. More shapely. And attractive. During their. Their ovulation. They found it much more attractive. And. And especially. Even women. That were in a relationship. During this time. If their partner. Their pair bonding. Partner. Was not. Was at work. Perhaps. Is not. Was not in doubt. With these features. They found. Other men. You know. In other words. If you don't have that V. I'm taking my V elsewhere. You know. And I'll tell you something. I was ovulating. When this occurred. You see. I was just right on the money. But the thing is. They even mentioned. Women mentioned. That during that time. That they were ovulating. And they were excited. And they liked. Handsome men. Even more. Because they. They were all. Hot and bothered. They said. That they were more. Emphasizing. On. On masculine features. Yep. Than on intelligence. So who should be. You know. Pretty and shut up now. Yeah. Exactly. Just saying. I know. Just saying. Like. He's all. Well. I'm sorry. I'm going to say this. Really quickly. But it's like. Why did you describe him as handsome? I was like. Well. We didn't really like. Discuss his hopes and dreams. I just kind of looked at the dude. You know. Licked. Looked. I don't know. If that was the first one. Did you lick? But now I'm all hot and bothered. I know. I don't know what to say. I can tell you the time. It's his own fault. You're absolutely right. Look. On that note. Yes. I enjoyed it. Me too. It was fun. And there's so much to say. I think you should have. A sip of the water. I think I'll get a sip. Of something later. I know. Well. We have a lot to say. And. It's not our next show. But the coming. The upcoming show. We'll have some guests. From the porn industry. Which we're very excited about. And. Yeah. So. Join us. Yes. Thank you. I'm Dr. Limor Blockman. And I'm Luanne Hernandez. Bye. Bye bye. Bye bye. you