Spanking discussion with live birthday spanking demo

I knew that was going to happen. I knew that as soon as we were on, I would cough. And then it would be horrible. Whoever sits in this seat before me, I don't know, just do not, either they have like fucking bat hearing, or they just don't want to hear shit because it's so fucking quiet. Or I just have shitty hearing. Or maybe they just turn it down as a courtesy to you when you put on the headphones and you hear the loud music. I don't want their courtesy. I want their rudeness. I, no. Hi. Hi, welcome to Intellectual King. Welcome. Welcome. The one who coughed is, That's service letter. That's service letter to me. I'm Insidious Muse, and we have people in the studio. But we need to explain why we have people in the studio. No, can we introduce them first? Okay, fine. Let's start with the larger, you know, people, and then the why. This thing's gonna, whatever. It is, it's cool, Jeremy, it's totally awesome. I love it. It's not me. I'm totally gonna fucking knock it over. It's cool. Okay, so we have two people that have been on the show before. The lovely Az. We have no video. We're sorry, so you can't see your boobs. They are really tremendous right now. As she perks them up. Okay, the camera's right next to me. All I can see is my boobs. Isn't it nice? If they were on, you guys would really be enjoying this. If they were on, you could see it, but you can't. It'd be fantastic. And then we have Tom. Hello. And then we have Matt. Hey, how's it going? So, and he's an expert. He knows how to do all this shit. He knows how to do everything. He does. We love him. He is. He's never here. He's my other favorite. He's my favorite encyclopedia. You know what? He is. He needs to come to trivia. We need to do that again. Well, because that one time that he did come with us, holy fucking shit. I did pretty good that time. You did. You were so good. We fucking killed it, yo. Don't bring an encyclopedia brain every time. Right? Well, get him over to the east side from the west side and it'll happen. That'll be good. We can make that happen. We're the fucking dream team. It's 40% of any price. Wow, these people are geeks. Yeah, it's a gift certificate to the restaurant, so that's not gonna happen. I'll take it. I eat too. All right, so why do we have all these people in the studio other than the fact that we love people in the studio? Well, this is a two-prong reason. So the first prong is... Oh, I feel like you're trying to finger somebody right now. She's always trying to finger somebody. Hey, because if I finger someone, then that's only the first step to getting my fist in them. And your fist has been in the young lady on your left. Wouldn't it be so awesome if it had also been in the two gentlemen that are also in my left? I would like to see that. I'm Irish. I got too narrow an ass for that. I got no ass. It's okay. Your ass can be narrow. Your asshole can be wide. See how that works? So the first reason is because it was recently your birthday. It was recently my birthday. Yeah. Happy birthday. So naturally, what happens on birthdays? Well, obviously, people get spankings on their birthdays. I do not. You do not. Notoriously. But I like to give my spankings away. You are a giver in that way. I like to give them away. I actually have given no spankings for my birthday. None. Not a single one. Sad face. None. You're looking at me like I had something to do with impeding that. You did. I did? Yeah. Why? You're sick. I can't spank a sick person. I wasn't trying to be sick. So that means I'm only spanking Tom. No, I'm kidding. I was going to say. Everybody's sick here. So I thought, oh my God, for my birthday, I want to do a twofer. I want to have a spanking episode where we discuss spanking and then I want to spank people. So get some butts for me to spank. And here are butts for me to spank. They're attached to people. And they know stuff. They can engage in this conversation intelligently. Yes. See? That was more than me. That was more than me. More than two pronged. Was that a prompt? It was like fist pronged. That's awesome. That went. I love that noise. All right. So do we have any? We haven't been here. We were out. We were out last week because last week I was the most sick. Well, and it was before Thanksgiving. And it was before Thanksgiving. And you know what? We actually have a short month. We do. We only have two episodes this month. That's so true. Let's make them good. So next, so this has to be a good one. I think next episode should be our year end episode. I don't know what that means, but that's what I think. We'll figure it out. Let's make that something. A fisting episode. So I don't know. Oh. Sorry, I got excited again. I just think you should bring in everyone you've had for the year and let Nancy fist them all. That's a long episode. I know. We would have to make sure we didn't have Vic Cohen after us. Sounds like a flashback. Or we could. We could. Vic Cohen would probably be really okay with the amount of vagina. He really would. Oh yeah. So, so spanking. Spanking. You know, one of the things that you mostly, when we go to any given place, any play party, any given evening, you will for damn sure see someone get spanked. Yeah. It's like the number one warm up. Why do you think it is that? Why do you think it's a good warm up? I think spanking is the gateway drug to BDSM. I think spanking is the thing that everybody starts with. It's kind of a natural thing. You kind of have playful spankings and it's, oh, and it's fun. It's whatever. And then you have spankings during sex and it's fun and it can be sexy and stuff. I think it's just kind of one of those natural progressions where from a spanking, you realize that, you can get pleasure from this activity and therefore, well, what else could you get pleasure from? Whether it's giving or receiving. So I think that it's just one of those kind of natural gateways. It just naturally opens it up. Well, I think it's also one of those things that because it... Sorry, it's all about this thing again. It's like I'm setting it up for the fifth episode. You are, you are. Well, I think it's also one of those things that isn't so like restricted to power exchange or anything, or even just kink because vanilla people do it too and it's perfectly fine when they're having sex. It's not a big deal. Right. You know, I mean, I hope you don't mind me saying so, but I mean, you know, whenever I've seen the sex and I've live tweeted the sex, there's been spankings. Oh, yeah. You know? And it's not... And they do it the way I like it? Fine. Exactly. So it's a pretty innocuous thing. Well, and the funny thing, if you think about this and anybody can chime in when they wish, that's because we've been desensitized to spanking, being kind of shocking. And if you look back in just pop culture, if you look back at cartoons and even movies from the 40s, there was spanking in all of those playfully. You know, Bugs Bunny would spank Girl Bunny, whatever her name was, and it was funny and cute. Or somebody, some guy would pull some beautiful woman with awesome shoes and hair over his lap just to do a spanking. You've been not in, but it's not mean. It's not like the kind of spanking you associate with childhood punishment. It's playful. And therefore, I think that we've become desensitized to it being so taboo. It's no longer on the taboo list. It's kind of on the... Well, you know, ironically, it's almost taboo now to spank your kids by comparison. It is actually. And correct me if I'm wrong, there are laws in many states, I believe this one being one of them, where it's not legal to hit your child with anything other than your hand. That's generally correct. I mean, you could be charged with that, with something for that. Yeah. It depends. Right. So, you know, but that's, I think that's when you're, that's where we've gone a different direction dealing with kind of domestic issues. But when it's like playful things, you know, as long as you're having fun, it tends to be one of those areas that has opened up and people just don't even think of it as something weird or odd. It's like it's expected. Like what? You don't even like your, you know, you don't like your hair pulled and your ass spanked? What's wrong? You know, it's like, what's wrong with you if you don't like these things? Well, opposed to a lot of other things too, it's skin to skin and it's near genitalia. You know, like a lot of other kinky stuff is, neither of those. It'll be implement to skin and it'll be on somebody's back or, you know, you can be in the next room or something like that. But spanking is up close and personal and skin to skin. So then to you, does that therefore make it more acceptable because it's an intimate act? More basic. Okay. Like it doesn't require skill, quote unquote, body quotes. It kind of bites you back too. I think there's a mutuality to it because my hand gets hurt sometimes. I don't have big hands for my size. So, my hand actually gets hurt. So I'm like, ow, you fucking hit me back. I'm going to hit you harder now. Ow, that hurt harder. I'm going to hit you harder now. You know what they say about people with small hands? No, what do they say? What do they say about people with small hands? They have small gloves. Oh, fucking fuck. I love Matt. There's just nothing the girlfriend here can say that's not going to get her in trouble. You are correct. Yeah. Silence is your friend right now. Love you all. So, I mean, let me just ask around. I mean, was spanking, kind of, your first realization or first foray into what you would consider kink? Not really. I mean, no, I wouldn't go, I wouldn't say that. I would say that by the time I eventually got it right, I was way beyond spanking. I'm not getting it right. I'm just talking about, like, realization. Well, I mean, I guess it's a little bit different. When you're a male submissive, it's a little bit different because there's more of that kind of, that submissive sensation where it's not necessarily top-bottom. That's a sub-bottom kind of thing. Yeah, no, I mean, porn was my gay way. Let's be clear. Making red-blooded American male. I'm just saying, you know. I think if you're making kind of that soft transition from, you know, maybe something that's vanilla or quasi-vanilla that might start with spanking before you really get involved with kink, just because of gender dynamics, that doesn't happen to men as often, starting that way. Well put. Well put. If you get a jump in as a guy, you tend to go in more both feet early, I think. I feel really sorry for some of my college freshman boyfriends then. I'm sorry. You just, you opened, expanded their minds and buttholes earlier. Well, you know, I just spanked them. That's nice little spanking. Bad boy. Nothing like that. Hmm. I haven't really done imagining you being subtle. You'd be surprised. I would. You'd be surprised. Nancy. Um, you know, it wasn't something that I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, I really, it just wasn't that wasn't really on my radar well you were just trying to be strict well no because at that by the time I was starting to discover my kinky self that ship had already sailed but I don't think I have a hard time imagining just throwing that out there but you know by the time I started discovering you know kink that was just kind of that wasn't really like I wasn't thinking to myself oh I'd love to get spanked no I was thinking more like fuck yeah let's do some humiliation now I just it just wasn't there now you decided to jump at the Ferrari and start driving fuck it not a whole lot it's just okay yeah but I mean you know spanking is just one of those things where it just kind of has happened obviously along the ride but it never really was something that I thought okay I need to do this thing first before I do anything else I don't think it's really the need to do not like people are like well I was really thinking about some kinky shit here so let's start small I think it's just that it kind of rolls on most pseudo vanilla people it just kind of rolls out there it's like oh I'm gonna smack your butt a little bit because you would see how you handle that kind of a deal and just like it's like testing the waters and you gotta get you know close to someone's butt to see if you can you know show your cock in there it's just the little ways to get there well it's one of those things so what you're saying is that men spank your ass to try and shove their cock in it is that how that goes no no no it's just it's like the billboard it's like the billboard it's like the tiny little tiny little spanks to you know eventually throw you against the wall and be a crap out of you it's just like when they first start working up to the other parts to get your reactions you have no middle gear you have first gear and you have sixth gear there's no where does two through five go spanking and sex go well together though I mean I can see it's you know there's an ass right there typically if you're going either doggy style or a cowgirl you've got an easy shot so I mean it's just one of those things that's just kind of natural though I'm just gonna say I've been known to smack myself when spanking as Oscar Wilde once said everything in the world is about sex except sex sex is about power so that makes sense I like that so for those of you who are on kind of the more continually receiving end of spanking is there a bad spanking yeah yeah let's hear about this I want to hear about bad spanking anything can go too far okay more more information there are the uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh! the other the zero to sixty people the oh I'm gonna spank you I have to show you how powerful I am immediately and then of course they slip and they hit your tailbone and you're bruised for three weeks yeah so there's a bad spanking wah wah oh I wasn't talking about you ooh I didn't think that you were but now I'm curious she's like shit did it ever happen you had my curiosity now you have my attention my least favorite thing I'm human did it ever happen? you had my curiosity now you have my attention my least favorite thing I'm humoring you spanking that's the worst what is that? just like some vanilla girlfriend who's like oh I'll try that once and then you know you can tell she's totally not into it that is the worst I not from experience because you tend you're really good at reading me and what I like and what I don't like but I've seen I've seen how like you can just tell when somebody's flinching in a not pleasant way like I mean there's one thing to flinch because it hurt but there's another thing to flinch because you're kind of just gritting your teeth and baring it because like you said it's people wanting to assert their power and like oh look at me I'm so badass I'm gonna spank you and not even not care about how my hand feels on your ass so I don't know it's just weird I think some people just I think I don't think spanking needs to be as rough as some people do it if that makes any sense or at least not out of the gate yeah yeah some people I think overcompensate especially if it's like for small hands you guys velocity sorry please carry on I had to there was an opening I had to take it you're so setting this up oh she is some people overcompensate though I think if they don't feel like they have a lot of tools in their you know repertoire they might overdo it with spanking because it seems simple but it's like I'll just hit harder and harder and harder and they're not really thinking kind of from their bottom perspective okay he put what I was trying to say in a really good way yeah I mean in some bottoms break your hands I mean I'll take it from the tops there's some people that are like pain sluts and you're like motherfucker okay let's get a paddle out because this shit hurts oh yeah we have this thing in this one femdom night occasionally we do it's called spankapalooza is that what they call it yeah spankapalooza where we get you know a certain number of bottoms and a certain number of tops and we kind of tie the bottoms down and then each top takes the bottom and then time it switch and then go around it's like musical bottoms it's like musical bottoms except nobody's out they're all in they start club wick with one of those it's pretty awesome it's a great kind of icebreaker I can imagine starting it would be really fantastic icebreaker you can really get to know who you might want to play with and who you wouldn't you know you don't want to play with vinyl hands you know you never know but it's one of those things where we were going around and there was there was one girl who was a serious pain slut and I'm giving her everything and I have a lot to give I'm very strong and I can be you're a giver and I can be really really hard spanking even with just my hands and by the end I like walk around and I was like cradling my hands I was like I have ice for my hands they hurt so much they were all red I was like and right now I'm just skinning through my head I'm like who was that girl yeah I can't remember her name she's been around I can't remember but yeah I mean it happens it's hard but also I mean it's one of those things where I've been spanking for a long time and I kind of know how to spank and how not to spank and who to spank because even in that spank-a-palooza there are certain people I was certainly not giving that same kind of heavy hand to because they couldn't handle it and after you've gone around a few times they're really sensitive so I was like so there's some people that I was like okay you're done on spanking how do you feel about punching and they're like I can do that awesome and it's a different sensation as you well know so you're done on spanking because it's a very kind of surface sensation the punching with the deep tissue they're like oh yeah I can take that awesome let's do some punching my hands are saved your ass is saved and I love you for that because as someone who's been on the bottom of the spank-a-palooza who's you know after a while of stingy little girl hands oh my butt I could use a little bit a little bit of you know some deep tissue impact I think spanking is one of those activities that's okay maybe it's just me but I don't I don't like to touch people a whole lot and I don't like people touching me a whole lot so when I when the thought of spanking someone it's just to me it's like oh oh no we are getting too fucking close because my hand is touching your butt and I don't know like it just again just me I get a little weirded out so like I just feel like it's a really intimate act because you're touching somebody's butt and like it just cut a pile on Nancy do you know what I'm trying to say? no I totally know what you mean okay no no no there's a reason why I have this confused look so you don't want to touch someone's butt but you walk up to any of the women we know and you ask to put your fist in their vagina you're saying what we're all thinking and that isn't more intimate than putting your hand on their buttocks I just want to know I just want to clarify I want to make sure that I understand the logic because right now it's a little confused in my head yeah I thought you had like rare earth magnets in your hand that were attracted to butts because every time I see you it's like well and doesn't she also offer to put her fist in your anuses? literally every time so the anus and the vagina no big deal that's no biggie but I'm going to touch your butt oh my god no way that's icky talk about zero to sixty by the way we love you I just need clarification we're not being critical it's just that what you just said what you just said is well I'm not being critical but what you just said is sort of counter to everything I've ever seen you do or say or interact with people I've seen people she didn't want to shove her fist in you have seen people right? we've actually had the conversation about oh no no no I get that right but wouldn't you want to spank any of the people that you want to push your fist in? so like any of these people at this table you want to put your fist in one of their orify so wouldn't you want to spank them? well sure but let me clarify my point thank you hey when I fist people generally there's some cleaning that happens on both on both you can clean the butt before you spank it I mean heck you mat aside down a playstation why can't you clean their butt? I feel like you don't understand what I'm trying like I can't I want to get you a fanny pack full of hand wipes so you can just walk around washing everyone's butts and spanking them a little bit I'm going to give her like this this like germaphobe fanny pack oh yeah that she can walk around with where it's got gloves gloves and little like PDI wipes she's going to be just wiping people's butts down right now right now that's it I'm going to have her prepared the next person that bottoms for me I'm going to have her prepare them by wiping them down I so support this idea it's going to happen I've got nothing else I've got nothing else come back here we are not through belittling you didn't you say humiliation didn't you want that? I remember arms being raised in the air in excitement on humiliation right? oh yeah I'm a giver alright bye! okay back on topic kids let me point out though that you know yeah anybody can spank right? but you can actually there's well some spanking can be done dangerously and so so poorly that you just want to cut their hands off well alright no you should never do that again Muslim state there you're super right on that there are some people who are terrible they're so bad they would like roll up a newspaper and smack them on the nose No. Right. Okay. Why are they terrible? I mean, it's just like anything else. There's lots of, you know, there's good and bad, and the bad people, they just stand out. Okay. It's just that they don't, like, they don't read you. Oh, no. But they're okay at other kinds of impact plays, just not spanking. Generally speaking, the people that are going to be bad, that's actually, spanking is a really good tester for when you're going to be starting off with somebody because generally the people who are really just shit at spanking aren't going to know how to throw a flogger right. They're not going to be able to read you when you're doing anything and aren't going to light a fiery torch anywhere near me. See, well, I think that that, I mean, it's a good litmus test. Yeah, it is. It is totally a good. Do you feel that that is accurate? Yeah, super accurate. Well, I mean, flogging is so technical. I mean, you know, a lot of people can't flog at all. But the point is, they're not going to pay attention to you. Well, maybe kind of. This guy is right. Which is funny because flogging, I mean, you have to work really hard to actually cause damage with flogging. You don't have to work that hard because, you know, the amount of handles I've been hit with in my life, you don't have to work that hard. Or the amount of wrapping. Oh. You know, but like, I totally see that where it's like, if you have learned to flog, then somebody taught you to spank a million years before that. You know, it's sort of like you've already passed that class. But I think here's the interesting thing is that some people go and they seek out learning how to do things like flogging or fire play, but they may never be formally taught how to spank because they assume they know. And the truth is, we don't have a curriculum in BDSM. You only know what you know, and you know either what you've sought out to be taught or what you've learned on your own. And some people learn really bad habits. They do. They definitely do. But the other thing, when you learn how to flog first and you're really good at flogging, you tend to have a better intuition when you go into something else. And maybe you never learned how to spank, but you are really fantastic at flogging and you've learned how to read when people are moving and you've learned, you know, the amount of pressure that you're putting on them when you're throwing your floggers, then you're kind of going to get it a little bit more. And also, being a competent spanker is not that hard. It's true. You know, it's not like, I mean, yeah, it's a, you know, learn it in a day, lifetime to mastery. It's one of those things. But it's not like flogging where being a competent flogger is actually pretty tricky. And it'll take you some time to get there. It's like level two spanking opens up all the other, you know, skill sets, but you can still take it. I've taken spanking to level five. Right. Yeah, I've got some bleed in my headphones too. I'm just wondering if it's the moon landing in our head. Right. It's all in your head. I'm just glad that it was me. We're like, oh, is the moon landing happening? I was talking about spanking. Well, they need to learn, don't they? They don't know, I don't think. They might know a lot about bondage. They might know a lot about waterboarding. This is so public, the NSA, they don't even care. Yeah, they don't. And where's Santa to know who's naughty and nice? Right. I was really wondering where you were going. You said, where is Santa? I'm like, for spanking? And he just got the lab, so he's like, wrapped. Oh. We have a motherfucking caller. His wife does have notoriously rosy cheeks. Which is really strange, since we haven't given out the number in a really fucking long time. And I always threaten. We have callers, make it good. So, this caller better be good. Hello, caller. Hey, caller. Hello, guys. Hi. Hi. Hello, guy. I just wanted to say that the show is amazing. I know who this is. I just started listening tonight, actually. Oh, wait. Why, thank you. I don't know who this is yet, so I still need to do some investigative work. She's very good at this. Your thoughts on spanking, please. Well, I'm somebody who's been into spanking probably since I don't know, I'm in puberty, and have mostly been on the top side of things. But when you guys were talking about, are there bad spankers, I kind of squeed a little bit while sitting here working. Because I've seen it in classes and at events, and just watched it demonstrated that people think that it sits at such a basic kink, it's so easy to master, and they sit down with a partner and fail. Because they, like the point that you brought up before, they either A, use entirely too much force so they don't bother to really listen to what's going on with the bottom that they're playing in, the bottom that they're playing with, because they have so many other kink skills that they take the spanking skill for granted, almost. Hmm. That's a good point. No, no. I don't think so. I agree. I think that that's true. To speak, adding further to that point, I think that spanking is really where a person learns to read their bottom. And if they don't have that skill mastered, that it might be something that they gloss over, because sometimes as tops or dominants, we're a little less keen on pointing out our weaknesses. So we might want to move on to something we're really good at. So I can understand. That's just it, though. I'm a top. I'm good at everything, though. Ha, ha, ha. Of course you are. Of course you are, darling. Well, spanking also gives... I mean, I read a book on that. I've been to one workshop and read a book. I know all there is to know. You're ready to go. I watched a class. I watched a YouTube video, and I have a website. Ready for Fireplay. Exactly. I went to kink... I've seen the kink academy videos. We're good. You've read Fifty Shades of Grey. And that was... What's that? Shut up. You read Fifty Shades of Grey. Fuck you. Fuck you, Tom. There will be no reading of Fifty Shades of Grey. There will be no reading of Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey here. Well, that's good, because I just skimmed it. I have stick figures. I'm sorry, Colin. And that was something else with spanking. I don't think people take into consideration either as much is how intimate the act really is. Because you've literally got somebody who could have a reaction being in a position that they haven't been in since they were of a really innocent age or a really vulnerable point in their life. And magically, next thing you know, you're doing an act that could take them right back there. And if you're not ready for that, you know, things can get really awkward really fast. Yeah, they really can. It's really true. And you're right about being a very intimate act. And it speaks a lot to intent. If your intent is for it to be punishment, then that can be a very, very different scene. If your intent is to be playful and fun or, you know, that kind of, that sense of really enhancing the D and the S component of it, like with an over the knee, then that can be really reinforced. But if you have an intent that is misreported, then it can spark some of those landmines. Oh, yeah. Especially if you're going into a scene and your body language is not what they were expecting and you're thinking that you're having a playful scene and your bottom is thinking that they've crossed some sort of line and that you're very upset with them because there was no communication before the scene started. Or they have a tendency to have a little anxiety about things. Like most bottoms. It's pretty known to happen. But, you know, we can take care of that. We're tops. We know everything. I do. I do. I know everything. You know what we're thinking. Exactly. Exactly. Entirely. Excellent call. Thank you so much. Your love for Kristen has not been lost. Thank you so much for calling. You are welcome to call anytime. You can call because you... You can call anytime. You have proved that you have intellect. Yes. Thank you very much. I tried. Thank you, ladies. Have a good evening. See you later, guys. Good night. I wonder if we knew that person. At the beginning, I thought it was somebody else and then all of a sudden the conversation, I was like, this is not who I think it is. No. So, wow. But that was nice. If it was somebody we actually didn't know, then I feel really, really special because normally... Normally, it's an actual human being we know, hey, we'll see you Friday, you know? Right. Exactly. Exactly. You know, I feel special. Yeah. I like a lot. I mean, the points that he was saying, I mean, yeah. It's go on because I already talked a lot. No. You know what's strange? I don't particularly like spankings. But then again, I really don't like pain. So, it's not really one of my favorite things. You like... You don't like stingy pain and you don't like that surface pain, but you fucking love deep impact. Well, that is a fact. Yes. It's like a massage. Right? It's why it's different. It's so special. It's like you're getting those really beat up muscles from hunching over a computer all week and then you're like, the thunk, and, you know, shoulder blade, pow. It's hot shit. It's like Street Fighter sounds when you do that. Street Fighter. Pow. I feel heart you. I feel heart you. I don't particularly like spanking, but I value it as the warm up. So, even though it's not the type of pain that I like, I still see it for the values that it has. But it's just, no. Well, and I've, because I tend to have a lot of subs or bottoms around me that aren't into pain. Really? Yeah. Well, out of the room, you got three out of four that are. Yeah, I know, but it's all just, you just, you never know. It's one of those, I mean, I hear, but you'd be surprised how many people are like, we're not into pain. And it's like, yeah, you're not into pain. I get it. Of course you aren't. What am I going to do now? I got to use my brain. Oh, God fucking forbid. And your glitter. And your pain. My glitter. Anyway, but I used to spank and I have kind of, I would think I had very stingy hands and I really, really did. I had really stingy hands and then I started kind of experimenting with different ways to spank and different ways to hold my hand and different ways to do this. And then it made a little less stingy and I was like, all right, we can work with this. This is, you know, something you work out, you know, but I mean, you can't really spank yourself. You know, you're supposed to like experience what something feels like. Somebody else's hands aren't going to be what my hands feel like. So, I mean, I can only hit myself so much and it's just not, it's not the same. Well, and I think that spanking is one of those, I mean, just with anything else, a lot of it is composed of intent. What are you trying to do when you're spanking someone? Are you that person that's trying to be like, I'm so fucking powerful and you're going to cower before me? Or are you that person that's- Why would you use spanking for that? I don't fucking know. There's so many more effective ways. There really are. I was going to say, yeah. So many more effective ways. Right, but because we're on the topic of spanking, that's what I'm using. Oh, okay. Maybe you don't know those other more effective ways. Yeah. Right. You mean actual dominance? Well, there are people who don't know. That's very true. That's true. That's a different topic, but yes, it's quite true. But I think, you know, when you're trying to elicit whatever the fuck it is that isn't, you know, stupid, spanking can be effective. It doesn't have to be something that's so super unpleasant, like vital hands. Well, for me, I mean, if I were to be given a choice of any tool to use, it would be my hands. And it's not because, I mean, yeah, my hands get tired and they can hurt, but I like to feel the human being. I get their energy more directly. I can give my energy more directly. I can give my energy more directly. It's a better connection for me personally when I'm using my hands. When I have an implement, there's all sorts of other things that have to go into play. There's all, all of a sudden, the safety check gets in and I have to make sure that I'm, you know, not hitting their tailbone or their coccyx or wherever else I'm going or I have to be aware of this, that, or the other. But I feel like my hands are a little bit more responsive because, I don't know, they're attached to me. And that works for me better. So for me, I mean, I just would rather do more kind of primal play if I was given, you know, my druthers. But, I mean, that's me. That's because that's the kind of player that I am and I enjoy putting whatever intent I have. As a side note, you know, you can really kind of mind fuck somebody too if you do a scene by not touching them at all. I'm quite fine. Or at least no skin-on-skin contact. Cut them off altogether. I wish I could verbalize this pout. I just like to clarify that. Yeah, it's very, very effective with the Nancy as well. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. These are so mean. You know what is also really good is if you do touch them but you put on gloves and go, I'm putting gloves on because I don't want to touch your fucking skin. That made me wet. That made me wet. It makes her wet and I'm just like, why are you giving him ideas? Oh, I've already thought of that. I thought about wrapping you up in something. I've done that. I also duct taped her ass one time. Not her ass. Nancy's ass. So she can't take a lot, right? I really wanted to give a lot. So I duct taped her ass. So I duct taped her ass. I duct taped her ass and then I could, I wailed on her butt. It was awesome and it was hot pink duct tape too. That made her uncomfortable. It was very unpleasant when it came off. That was some of her butt touching issues I'll bet. That was some what? That was some of her butt touching issues I'll bet. Yes. Well, she doesn't mind that I touch her butt. I don't, I would like it if you touched it more. She does. I would. I really would. More butt touching. Yeah, more touching. Please, mistress. Let's just do more touching. We can't do cuddles. How about less sticking? I've tried that. I have a bag full of drugs. She does. She does have those plasters. I did everything. I'm doing everything. You're not drinking water. I'm drinking a lot of water. I'm drinking tea. Work spouse was the one that made me call today to get the, to talk to the doctor. Yeah. You were work spouse? Everybody has a work spouse. I have a Jewish work mom. Oh my God, that's so funny. That's great. Does she spank you? Does she make you eat? She doesn't make me eat. She asks probably every two months why he hasn't asked me to marry him. It's really adorable. Whoa. Oy vey. Oh, it's so cute. It's so cute the way she does it though. That's adorable. Shit just got real. Here he knows this. She's hilarious and just oh so Jewish. Anyways, spanking. She doesn't spank me. So back to spanking. All right. Nope. Okay, and you're drinking. Somebody else say something. I'm drinking. I don't know. I'm actually going to agree with Nancy that I don't need an entire scene full of spanking because like spanky, he goes for hours. He's like, I can spank someone for, spank someone for, six hours and it's an awesome scene. For whom? Yeah, I know. And that's not me. But he goes so slowly. He does. It's like every five minutes. Well, that doesn't count. That might be a little bit much. But no. You have to get a drink in between. Don't get me wrong. The people who are the receivers seem to enjoy it. I'm just like, I've had very long conversations with him not realizing that he was in process. It's like, oh, did you read Brothers Karamazov or something five minutes later? You know? And they come back for more. So he's doing something right because you seem to be a little 18-year-old to go flocking to him. It takes some time for between the strokes, you know? I bet his hands don't hurt by the end. That's smart. He's using his brain. He's a wise man. He's been doing it for a while. Yeah. But I don't know. If you're doing a real scene and spanking is a warm-up and if you're doing like serious spanking, you better be fucking me soon. That's kind of where I go with it. Better be. That sounds good. Yeah. That sounds like topping from the bottom. It does sound like sex. Or hoping from the everything. Yes. And you've met me before. You know most things. You really want to sell that to your son. Wink, wink at the end of it. Yeah. There you go. Wink much. Waking up better end with sex with you. You guys are funny. All of you. Why are we all funny? I don't know. What do we do now? How are we funny? Maybe we should just thank you for that. We're clowns to amuse you now. Apparently. Really? Chesters? No. Silly gooses. What? I'm just waiting for the why are we funny. They are funny. Yes. I pointed to the ass and the tom. They are funny. You guys are just funny. Just. You're just funny. Can't you just be funny? Oh, okay. All right. You just make me laugh. Okay. Valid. All right. Let's just thank somebody. You should. You should. I'm going to spank Nancy. Oh. It is my birthday. You have to talk. We have to talk. Okay. All right. Shall we? Shall we describe the spanking? Do we need like a play-by-play on this? No, it's okay. It's going to be a quick one. As you do the play-by-play, I'll be the cover or the color man. Dude, I was so going to say you should do the play-by-play as she bends over and slightly starts to. Oh, so quickly. Lister. All eyes are upon her as she picks her seat. It's all you. Yeah, that sounded stingy. She yelled. I'm warming her with my little hot hat. She gets warm with the little hat. Owie. Why would we talk to this? It's lovely. She's owing. Good look on her face. So is this like tied to your age so you can only spank them 20 times? Oh, gosh golly. I forgot whenever I'm on. Sounds like you'll have to start over. That doesn't hurt. She's turning pink. She's turning pink. A lot of squirming over there. Oh. Something's going on there. She has a back issue. Oh. So that feels good. This is the therapeutic component of the spanking. Sometimes the tops can be nice. I like doing them rhythmically. No, I'm actually pushing my fists on her. Oh. Oh. It's the deep tissue part. Yes. Yes. Oh, I'm pointed at. That's it. Pan on, pan on. Bro. I just spanked Nancy a little bit, but not much. Rosie, can you cut me down? Yes. Clean cup, clean cup, clean cup. Yes, you can spank my sub. Oh, please. I'm sorry. I assumed that was already taken care of when you came on the show. We used the curve launch. We still haven't played for that time that we have. I believe the phrase is implied consent. Wait, so that didn't expire? Oh, crap. I don't think so. Does it expire? I'm going for it. I have an Amex black. I'm beating her. I have one of these on. So, you should all know that Az has a fantastic ass. I have. I have a Target. It's a motherfucking shelf, yo. And then a birthmark. That just helps. Yeah. She does those squeals. Do it again. it's like fucking Tourette's like giggling Tourette's sorry you're right handed I am I'm sorry sorry right handed I didn't realize that what'd I do what'd you do of celebrating birthdays is that it doesn't have to just be for people to find out for one person. It can be for everyone. Everybody. It's a party for all of us. Everyone gets to celebrate the birthday. It's a lot of fun. You're not going to feel anything. This is a group effort. Wait, he gets to leave his pants on? Oh, I have to take them down? I'm sorry. Wait, you don't have to ask me permission. That goes the other way. Bad news for you. I just pantsed him in front of you. Ow. His squeals are not as funny as his ass. They make me laugh. Ow, I am now being spanked. Yelps. Fries. Various guttural grunting noises. That's not the only sound you can make, Tom. Silent but deadly. Don't say that when I'm near your ass. Cough buttons. Cough buttons. See, and that's what I mean about spanking someone's ass. You see? What if they fart? What if they fart when you spank them? I mean, these are real concerns. They fart, so what? I don't know. It's a fart on your... What if someone farts when you're having sex? Do you stop having sex with them? No. No, but the fart's on your hand. What if they fart when you're kissing them? What? If they fart when you're kissing them. What? If you're fisting them. Do you stop fisting them? I don't feel when they fart. And I really hope that no one tells me that they farted while I was fisting them. I would just like to clarify. I did not fart while you were fisting me. Thank you. Because then I take it as a compliment. Ooh. Ow. Ooh. Ooh. There's eye wincing on that. Yeah. I like eye wincing. See, because then you make fun of the fact that you're not making noises, so then she makes it harder. It's just what happens. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to cool my hands down. Just a little bit before I go to Matt. Oh, good. You can stand up, though. All right. Fine. Oh, yeah. Good stuff. I love, like, considering that three of us are sick, you know, laughing so hard that our lungs are about to cough out of us. Oh, this little studio's moving on the farm right now. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Yay for warm butts. Is your butt warm? Can I feel? Can we not be? That's hilarious. Okay, and this is another fun part, because you get to share with the rest of the world, because it's chilly outside, and now all our butts are warm. Yeah. So, really, you're looking out. It's like Christmas magic. Confetti everywhere. Is that what that gesture was? That's what it would be if I did it. I'm going to strap my hands under underwear. I thought you were Purelling. PDI Live. Matt's the last one to get spanked. Exactly. I love the look of disinterest on his face. The spank-a-palooza thing is that it's actually, like, it's easier because people are more comfortable. Yeah, it's like batting on the 9th. There we go. Just grimacing with the face. Grimacing with the face. I like that open-mouthed, nonverbal. He's smiling. Yeah. He's got, like, a Pip-Boy smile on. She's getting serious now. She's getting serious. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ah. Ah. There we go. You're on floor. I love that there he goes. Like, you've been working to it, but you finally hit the spot. Oh, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, if he's a dog, he'd be scratching his leg right now and just, oh, yeah. Oh, there's the spot. Everyone is very clean in the pod. She's shaking her hands. Shaking it out. Shaking it out. Do you hear that, people? I really hope they can, because, my God. Although, when she was doing that to me, she kind of made me think like a cat. Like, it was going crazy at their cat scratching post. I know. She's not done with him. Ow. You hurt me. There we go. There he goes again. I'm done. Oh, you're done. Okay, so how old does that make you? 3,000. 3,000, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Looking great for 3K. I'm like Gandalf. What? I'm a geek. It's okay. We love you for that. All right, everybody talk while I can. Happy Mistress is happy. Oh, Jesus. Happy birthday. Why do you guys make me work so hard? And just so everyone knows, this is the point where you realize that it is exhausting sometimes being a top. Motherfucker. Just in case y'all didn't know. It's a very... It's very... Yeah. That's it. It's like aerobic exercise. Yeah. She could have gone to the gym, but instead she decided to beat me. Some people... You're like, fuck. Hey, man, the gym is boring. Huh? Gyms are boring. There's no naked people there. Right? Well, but... Well, yeah, there are. There are, actually. I suppose. I suppose. Yeah. In the locker room. Yeah, but the naked people are not the exercise equipment. I'm just saying, I came here from the gym, and this is a lot more expensive. Yeah. It's more exciting than that was. Okay. Well, that's good. Right? That's good. If it wasn't, I'd actually be a little bit disappointed. Right? Like, I failed. Like, fuck. Or you'd be going to a really awesome gym. A naked gym. It was in West Hollywood, so... Oh, there you go. You never know. No, you definitely didn't fail. That was very nice. Thank you very much. Yes, thank you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. See, I'm not all happy. Actually, I feel so happy because I was putting happy intent. I felt the happy intent. I don't think your hands... I don't think your hands... Your hands are that stingy, either. Well, I've developed them. Oh, okay. To be less stingy. To less stingy? Yeah, because there definitely are people whose hands are like... Yeah. Like one of those vinyl floggers, where you're like, wow. Ow! Yeah. She's got like those, like... First hit? Wide, tight, iron hands. She had to, like, break them 500 times or whatever. Right. You've been doing the... Punching bricks. Yeah, the Bruce Lee, like, one-inch punch into vats of ice for a week. Yes. It was my wax on, wax off, but on butts. Right. Oh, that was happening. So... I just like that I did not plan with my underwear, and you did not let that stand in your way. You just yanked that sucker right into my crack. And I just pulled Tom's down. Yeah. Oops, sorry. Well, I appreciate your greater discretion with me. Well, I know you. Yeah, actually, she's pretending, because both Tom and I were strangers off the street. I don't know them. At all. What are our names again? We decided to call the names of people that have been on before. Oh, hi. Hi. Hey, nice to meet you. Should it be like a Kylie? No, Kyle. Oh, okay. It's my favorite name. I don't even know why. I named my computer Kyle. It's just a weird thing. Anyways. That is really random. You named your computer Kyle. I did. Is your car named Kyle? No, my car is named Blueberry. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, I know. Blueberry? Mm-hmm. That's a good car name. To the Blueberry. It's from Psych. Yep, that's why. Actually, Mindy named it. Anyways, so butts. Butts. Back to butts. Sorry. Back to butts. So what kind of butt would you not want to spank? I mean, not you personally. How do you feel about hairy butts? I hate hair, so how do you feel about spanking hairy butts? It doesn't matter. It doesn't bother me. Really? You know what bothers me? Bony butts. Oh, I can see that. They hurt. Oh, yeah. Like bony hair bones. The bones, they poke back. They do. He smirks. They poke back. I mean, he knows. He's probably spanked bony butts, and they poke back, and it's very painful on your hand. And you're like, fuck. Let me get something on this that isn't my hand. Because that hurts. The hand. So you're welcome for being fat. I like some meat on the buns. Meat on the buns. It's funny when you're spanking somebody small, you can kind of sometimes see their head fly up a little. I could see everything go up the spine. Oh, that's creepy. Do you ever do the leather glove spanking? No, I've never done leather glove spanking. I see a lot of people doing that lately. It's in. Yeah, and like the leaded glove. Oh, to make it heavier? Yeah. I don't need to. And then they do the punch with that as well. Yeah, but you don't need that. How do they spank you with a vampire glove? Yeah, I don't want that. I really don't want that. No. Do not sign me up for that. It's the first time I ever saw vampire gloves. People that don't know, vampire gloves are like any kind of glove. Generally, they're leather or leather-ish, where they've got like spikes in the hand, the fingers in the hand, not to the person wearing it, but to the receiver. And when I first saw them, I thought, I was terrified. Like I had these visions of spanking somebody and all this blood happening. Like, oh my God. Why would somebody do that? Oh my God. What's wrong with these people? And then I saw them used for the first time. I was like, ooh, I want some of them because that sounds cool. And I love vampire gloves now. But the idea of, I mean, you can do really light spanking with vampire gloves, but you can't do like spanking. People do. People do. Of course, at the same time, I've seen someone take a meat tenderizer to someone else. Yeah, I mean, people have those floggers that are like made of chains. Those feel really neat. Really? Yeah. I always look at that and say, I can't tell if it's an implement or like a murder weapon. Like, I feel like there's some special edition of Clue that has that as like the additional I'm pretty sure that was in Passion of the Christ. That's true. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. The wonderful SM instructional video. Well, I learned that from that. Everybody gets hard when they watch that one. I was Catholic and then I watched it. That was actually a scourge. That hooked thing, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I know people like- See? What we were talking about earlier. Bar trivia. No, I mean, there are definitely people out there who get scourging done to them. You know? Yeah. Yeah. I know a person who did a really intense scourging scene a couple months ago that was like a flogger with metal washers in it or something like that. So, I mean, I get it. I know that, you know, the problem lies with me for not being able to recognize how much fun that must be. And I've got a new violent life, so. Well, and then there's like that whole, I don't know if you read the Dan Brown novels with the Opus Dei and the guy would scourge himself. Right. And then in Boardwalk Empire, the guy would take a belt and like basically scourge himself with it, that kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. It's a thing. It is. It's a very Catholic question. Yes, sir. What do you feel about the distinction between the spanking community versus the BDSM community? Ooh. I just think that it's for me, I mean, it's people that want to specify that what they do and all they do is spanking. I don't think, I think that once you become a part of a, it's still a subculture. I think once you become a part of a subculture, you're really just steps away from just enjoying all of BDSM. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. where you want to identify and you want to associate, just come on in. Just come on in and grab a cane and grab some floggers. But I think that some people... It's gateway cane. Right, it's gateway. I think some people have issues with being affiliated with BDSM for whatever reasons. And I think that they feel safer and more comfortable with just being called a spanker. Right. Like they're not a bad person, quote unquote, if they just spank. Because as we said, we're desensitized to spanking. So it's not bad. Yeah, it's much more normalized. Right. Yeah, it's weird because I tend to find that that community tends to be almost entirely male top, female bottom. Whereas you look at like female top, male bottom, they do plenty of spanking, but it's not like this is all we do. There's a lot of age play involved in just the spanko community too. That's true. There is a lot. There's a whole lot of that age play thing going on. It's the daddy baby girl thing. Yep, daddy baby girl. Right. Well, and there's, of course, the extra fun of the professor. But we've got the new school room. I'm sorry. It's kind of in there right now. When you start getting into the female dom and male submissive, you have to have a larger bag of tricks because most male submissive, not most, but there's a good number of male submissives that aren't into pain at all. Where spanking as a concept, as like I said before, to reaffirm the dominance and submission is very appealing. But the pain in and of itself is not necessarily appealing. They would rather be submissive at their feet, maybe humiliation, maybe chastity, whatever those types of things. But you have to have just a larger pool of not just spanking. If I was a female top and all I did was top men and all I did was spanking, I wouldn't do a lot of playing. I mean, I do some, but then I'd be done. Right. You know, it'd just be limited. Mm-hmm. I totally agree. From what? From my, you know, observations. Observations. My limited. Limited? Limited knowledge of the media. You're in a dungeon every weekend. Only a little. Only a little. You're gonna be the next person moving in the first floor. We're not judging. Oh, no. We're envious. For those of us who are not familiar as probably spends a very good portion of her life there. Probably about 12 hours a week. Being a being of service and being so awesome to the local community. Truly. And now I'm blushing. It's a big deal. It is a big deal. We'll take care of that. It is a big deal. It is a big deal. I mean, those that take their time and serve their local communities, the communities wouldn't thrive without volunteers. In any, if you're in a city that doesn't have a community like us in LA, because we're fucking awesome, then volunteer and make it a better scene. That's all I can say. The people that are always complaining, like, okay, you may not have the space, but that's because no one's got off their ass and made it happen. Dude, you can have a play party in a house. Grassroots, motherfuckers. Grassroots. I mean, our dungeon used to rent spaces three times a year and have parties. So to round up, what I'm saying is if you're interested in spanking, maybe you should have a spanking party at your house. Or somebody else's house. Or probably not the church place where the AA meetings are held. Let's not do that. Well, there's one church. There's one church. But I'm just, it's one of those things where, you know, go out and seek it out. And just, you know, try out your spanking and make sure that you talk to your bottom and you assess where they are and how they're feeling and whether your spanking is stingy or not or, you know. And look out for the tailbone. Just throwing that out there. Make sure you know where the tailbone is. You can sharpie it on there. Yeah. Yeah. I gotta look close on him. Did you? Yeah. He likes a good kidney shot. Really? You were pretty far. You weren't. Because you were bent over. You were tall, too. You were in the strike zone the whole time. There were no balls. All right. So that was our show on the spanking. We want to thank Matt. Thank you. And Tom. Thank you. And Az. And follow us on the Twitter, which is at Kinkolectual. Or me at Insidious Muse. Or me. Or me. Or me at Susset. You know, feel free to share our podcast with whomever. And feel free to shoot out your belated birthday wishes to my mistress because she's awesome. Woohoo. You can say happy birthday to me. It's fine. Yeah. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. It's cool. And then next week will be our final episode of the year. Fucking weird. We gotta figure that out. But have a good one for now. Yeah. All right. Bye. Bye.