BDSM toys, comedy songs, and abortion protest signs

I'm getting in there. I'm in. I'm in. I have both hands. Inside they are grabbing their fondling. They are with, oh. I'm getting a cup and a field today. I'm not just juggling. I am topping a field. Those are the beautiful titties owned by no one other than the beautiful. What happened to your chair? Why is it so short? That's your third question. Hold on. Let me lower mine. Whoa. You okay? Yeah, I just went really fast. Hold on. It's like a barber. See, I'm trying to get us in. Yep. Okay, there we go. Somebody snuck in here and lowered all the chairs. We're a mess. We're a mess. We're a mess. I should have seen my tits a lot better. This is a better view. Or was it better when they were up higher? It was probably better. Hi, we've never done radio before. I can see them now. Okay, hold on. I have to have my chair taller. Wait, you need your chair. Okay, Ginger is bending over seductively. She's grabbing. I want to see everything. She's grabbing the lever and she's going to give it a good tug. She's going to lift that chair up high. Work that chair. Work it, Ginger. There we go. All right. Yeah. The chair has risen. We're so good at porn. We should be phone sex offerings. Oh. Oh. Oh, stiltzkin. Oh, wait, no. Stiltzkin. Stiltzkin. Stiltzkin. Wait, what? I'm just raising my chair. Listen, I want to know what our safe word is. I am really tired. I need to know what our safe word is. It is. Okay, let me know. I can just. Now I look like a. Try it. You know, you could make yours taller. I could. I don't mind. I'm at like, I feel like I'm hanging out with Chris. You know how he's taller than me? Yeah. I realize that's a real statement. I'm actually at like face level when he releases gas. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You really are that. You're that short and he's that tall. Yes. Oh, that's frightening. You know what today is? Is it your anniversary? No. It's five platforms day. No, it's National Stuttering Awareness Day. I don't mean to laugh. I don't mean to laugh. I'm only saying that because you were having difficulty saying. That's why I'm laughing. I'm not laughing at stutterers. Say it again. National Stuttering Awareness Day. National. Stuttering. Stutterers. Stutterers. Stuttering. National. Stutterers. National Stuttering Awareness Day. I'm not laughing at them. I'm not. It's so hard to fucking say. I can't say it and I don't stutter. National Stutterers Day. The National Stutterers Awareness Day. Stutterers Awareness Day. But if you're around somebody that's. Oh, Steve just rolls off your tongue. But if you're around somebody that stutters, you're pretty aware of it. Oh, yes. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you need the awareness. A special. Well, it's a special day for those who stutter. They should. They don't get any kind of love. But they can get. No, they don't. And where do you get a job when you stutter? God, I don't know. I mean, where? Because most jobs. Voiceovers. Voiceovers? That's a rough. That's a long session. Yeah. Well, for characters. People. Yeah. But do you see how many stuttering characters are out there? Yeah, there's not a whole. I mean, I can't imagine there's a big. There's a lot of characters with lisps. Yeah. And I used to have a lisp when I was a kid. Me too. Did you really? Yeah. Did you have to go to therapy? Yeah. Speech class. So did I. Yeah. And I was in like a special math class. So I was. I was a borderline retard. You had fun speech classes. Mine, I had to like write three or four pages and get up and do a speech. Really? Yeah. Oh, no. This was to help your speech to actually. Because if you have a lisp. If you have a. Yeah. My, I was, my answers were like this. Mm-hmm. Me too. Oh, like that. Okay. Yeah. I had a friend who stuttered and it would be like, if he was trying to say Skid Row Studios, he would be like. No. Okay. I got it. Yeah. I got it. I was sitting there waiting for him to say it. I know. And I was, but he's like this really great artist. And now I've seen him. Okay. So there is a way. And he doesn't stutter. Oh, that's. At all. Yeah. You just kind of need your. You usually need your niche or something like that. Like that thing that you feel really confident. Not that they're not confident, but. But a way that you can express yourself because you can't do it verbally. You need to find another way to express yourself. And he wanted the Pink Lagoon when he was single. He wanted the Pink Lagoon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was not my first movie. It was. I did Surrender in Paradise and a little bit of Hanky Panky. And then that was a quarter of a million dollar budget on my very first movie. It was shot on the island of Kauai. And then the next year we went back and did the Pink. Or we did the Pink Lagoon. Pink Lagoon. And a little bit of Hanky Panky. Yeah. He said he was trying to find that movie. He's like, I'm looking for this ginger. I have Pink Lagoon. And he's got a kid now. And he's got a wife. And now he doesn't want it. But I had texted him. I was like. I have him. I can get you that movie. I can get you a signed copy of that movie. I thought it was a stuttering porn star. No. Well, yeah. They should. A porn movie. Could you imagine? That would be a good one. Would there be? Is there stuttering porn? Is there? I'm trying to think. I don't know if that's a turn on or not. It's a fetish. Are you taking my DNA for any particular reason? No, no, no. I want to see your. I missed this. Was this underhanded DNA swapping? What is this? Ro is stealing pieces of hair off of my head. She's pulling it out. I'm pulling them out of my head during the show. I feel like we're the Muppets in the balcony. If you see a little corn rag doll. You look really short. And I'm only five foot two. You're taller than I am. And I look like a giant. I've got these giant hooters that are just killing the screen. Oh, I haven't gotten them out. And we've been here. I'm so sorry. If you see a rag doll with your hair sticking in it, then get early for you. This is actually early for you. But I think it's the height. It's Wednesday. It's Wednesday. And I just. I can see myself. And I'm actually looking in the camera going, you know, my titties are just right up there for all to see and enjoy. And I squish. No, if you don't move, if you stay right there and look in the camera, I'm taking a picture and one of your areolas looks huge compared to the other one. And it's the shadow. Oh, it's the shadow. And I'm looking in the camera. It's the microphone. You got a silver dollar on one side and a nickel on the other. It was like a pancake. I fixed it now, but I can't talk and show you my. Well, the problem is one out all the way. And then the other is like halfway out. I can't. They're too big to squish out of the top of this dress. And I don't want to take the whole dress off. I'm just. The dress is cute. I'm getting the girls out. Do you like this dress? Yeah. I feel very, very girly today. I'm wearing. I like the lace. A little black. Oh, you got lace. It's a nude bra with black that is laid over the top. I can't get both titties out at the same time, I don't think. They are very big. It's going to be a lot of work. But the bra is beautiful. It is beautiful. Yeah. And I have this thing about underwear. I always have to have my underwear matching. Yeah, but you match the dress and the bra. I've got underneath of my dress. Because it's lace and lace. It's a little black. Yeah, you get the black. Slip. And then I've got the lace in the bra. Okay. And the lace in the dress. And the lace in the underwear. And then let me show you my panties. Okay. Now we're going to see if everything matches. Ah, there's no panties. There's none. They match perfectly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the one thing that I can do. When's Nick's birthday? Saturday. Did you see my bush? I did, but I was expecting even more 70s-ish. You know what? I was too. But it's not growing back. It's not growing back. Because you know why you shaved it for so long. I've been... They're like eyebrows. No, not shaving. I've been waxing for most of my life. Oh, that's why. So it's not growing back the way that it went out. I know. You know what? We can get you an attachment. An attachment? What? He said the turn on was when he actually put his hands down a girl's pants and felt bush for the first time. That was just... It's a memory that's burned in his brain. Okay, well let's say you're back like to 14. And not a full-on 25. Exactly. Let's... Just get one of those wigs. Okay, that's just wrong. Creepy. That's crossing the creepy line. Rowan, it's a creepy bill. It's got a place. You know, the places you go, you walk in, you've talked about farts today. I did. Get a rug. Yeah, we can get you like... And it's been visible. You can... You put the stuff on, the glue on, and it disappears. I'm gonna glue it to my pussy. No, let's get you some... What's for the eyelashes? Like a toupee. A lace hair. The mascara. The mascara that grows your... It grows your eyelashes. Maybelline or something? I've heard it grows your eyebrows. Or spirit gum. I'll have a big old black hair. He'll be down there eating my pussy. His nose will turn black. His cheeks, his whole mouth. I'll have a giant black circle. It's like Lastic or something. Lastic. Crepe war. I'll do that. His birthday is Saturday, and I'll do it actually for Halloween. I'll keep the bush. Okay. And then I'll put the fake fur on. I'll put that on Halloween to go with my Halloween costume. Spirit gum. Oh, yeah. So when he goes down on me... And crepe wool. Oh, do you have a pimp hat? I do. I'll go find one tonight. Of course. I have one somewhere. I need a pimp hat, and I need to find my goblet. I have a big bejeweled... That's in your... I think that's above the glasses. It's... That should be in that. That should be in that cabinet. Above the glasses. I do. The silver one, isn't it? The silver with the little red bead in it? Yes. That will work. It's not exactly a pimp glass, but you know I'm a pimp. It works. We could just get you... What is it? Gin and juice? What do you sip on in the hood? In the hood? Gin and juice. Gin and juice? But what does it come in? Oh, I can't. You just need a 40. No, you need... Like a huge, like... If you're a pimp, you need your chalice. Well, if I walk around with an open container, if I look like I have an open container... Yes. Oh. I might get in trouble. Sunny D. If you're a pimp... I'm going to be going to a bar so they can... No, at a bar, they'll fill it into my glass or they'll give it to me and I can pour it into my own glass. But you need a chalice because that's what pimps have. A chalice. Where do I get a chalice? You've got... If it's a cup, a pimp cup, you've got it. I have one from the Madonna Inn somewhere. No, it's not a pimp cup. I do have a pimp cup. Oh, yeah. The Madonna Inn has awesome ones. They have glass ones, though. They're gorgeous. That would work. They're really, really nice. I've got to go see if I can find it. I had one from the Madonna Inn. Was it pink? I had a pink one and I had a blue one. Ooh. But the best ones are that Aurora Borealis one. Yeah. I've got one. I don't have that one. You have one of those? Yeah, I think so. If it's the one you're thinking of. It's like floral. I haven't been in a million years. It's glass. It's glass. Oh, the Madonna's Inn. I love the Madonna Inn. It is fun. If you're not from California or you haven't... Even if you are from California, if you haven't heard of it, there's a place called the Madonna Inn and they have theme rooms. All of the different rooms have something like... We stayed in... Kind of a... What would you call a room where you have six or seven girls that sleep all at the same time? Oh. A harem? No, but it had pretty... Maybe like a harem. It had pretty pink colors and heavy tapestry. Oh, was it able to hold all of you? It was... Well, we didn't stay in the room. This is just one of the rooms that you have there. There's a room that has like seven or eight different beds. A bordello? A bordello. I don't know, but it's very fancy. It kind of looks like a whorehouse. Like a burrow? It kind of looks like a whorehouse. Bed and breakfast? No. No. It's just beds. There's... There's all of these single beds in just one big room. In one of the rooms. Like when you go to rehab and they stick you in a bed. Like a communal living. Yeah, I mean, this is really, really nice. This is all heavy pink paint. Tapestry. You know, the paisleys. And the walls are really ornate. It's like a palace? Like a palace. Yeah, a harem or palace. I don't think it was supposed to be a whorehouse. They're all different, the rooms. I've stayed in the caveman room. Ooh. Yes, the caveman room has a big giant zebra skin. Or a tiger skin rug. It's not real, of course. It's giant. It has giant floors that are made out of... Rocks. Rocks. It's got the stone everywhere. That's cool. It's got big clubs that you can take down off of the bed and beat each other with. The big wooden clubs. Are they hollow? Yes, they're really lightweight. What's the bedspread? The bedspread. A bear? The bedspread was another animal print. I don't remember what it was. It was something fuzzy. And the chairs. What exactly are the chairs? You have such a good memory. I don't remember. Oh. I don't want to describe it or I would. Okay. That's just one of them. What was the bathroom like? I fucked there and I got hit with a club. What else do you want? I wasn't looking at the decor. I know that the floor was made of stone. You got a lot of the decor even though you weren't looking at it. You're like, and then? I was there for a reason, baby. Oh. So you have this fantastic memory. We were going down memory lane on the way to work today talking about different... Cartoons that we grew up with. Bugs Bunny in particular. And all of the different characters. And Stevie is telling these stories. And he is going from the beginning of the story with Pepe Le Pew all the way what he does with the kitty cat all the way through the story. How she got her stripe. The whole... He remembers everything. Oh, yeah. The paint. The dialogue. When she jumped up and she hit the flagpole. I don't remember. All right. So it's just me. But for me, it's like reliving them. Riding to work with Stevie is like listening to an entire Disney movie. Yeah. I had an hour long. I had an hour long of Disney. And it was... And I had a really, really... I was at Disney Warner Brothers. I was Warner Brothers. Sorry. I had a really, really bad headache on the way to work. And so I had to take a little pain medication. How are you feeling now? I feel great. My dad... How do you feel right now? My dad listened to this last week with all the naked porn. So me and Mossimo, we watched it. I'm like, that's great. Your dad is probably... I know. He loves it. He's a big fan of yours. He's probably about my age. Yeah. No, my dad's older than you. He can't be that much older. No, no, no. He's older. I could totally be your mom, though. Could you? I could. I could. I mean, from Illinois, yes, I could be your mom. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Any place... Where I come from, absolutely. We had one girl who had four kids in high school. Jesus. Skinny little thing, too. Four kids in high school? Four kids in high school. God. Four children. She works at the local grocery store. Wrap it up. Still works there. Yeah. Yeah. You know, there's... That's a good place to meet people. Yeah. Come and bag in their groceries. Oh, I thought you were... You know what? I had something totally different. She's back in high school again. You are just... You are a filthy-minded, dirty girl. No, I was thinking about this article I saw. Yes, you are. I saw this article. Okay. Was it in the back of... It was on Facebook. Oh. And it was about a couple that has been... You know, they live in a small town, you know, wherever they live and everything. And they have this abortion clinic, and there's people that protest. Okay. You know, obviously. Oh, they do that in small towns. They do that. They protest and blah, blah, blah. They did it in my town. Well, what they did was to kind of... Because they wanted the girls, the women in the families not to be harassed, you know, because they're obviously... Whatever they're going in for. They were harassing everybody, too. It's like, you don't know what everybody's going in for. Exactly. Somebody could be going in to take the pill. Yeah. You don't know, right? Somebody could be going in because they might have an STD. They want to get some help. Yeah, something. You know, it's a clinic. It's a clinic. It's a clinic. Might be going in for a mammogram. Who knows? You don't even know. So they counteracted it with signs. They show up with their own signs that say, like, worst hobby... Because it says murdered babies. You murder babies. And she... Worst hobby ever. And then they got even more elaborate. Like, you know, they just show up and the sign says, I like donuts. You're like all these people, like, you're murderers. And they're like, worst babysitter ever. Or whatever. They have these hilarious... They have these hilarious signs that they... And people get so mad at them. Oh, I can see that. And they go, we're going to pray for you. I like that. And now everybody's been doing, you know, like, everybody's been showing up at different ones with these signs that literally are, like, just to counteract them. Because if we could just take their distraction away from, like, yelling at the women, just for a second, our job is done. We should go with blame it on ginger signs. Oh, God. We totally should. We should. Oh, my God. I'll have a skid row studios.com. We'll blame it on ginger. And then we could have random signs. I'll show you the article. Then we could have something like, you think that's bad. I just got laid. Or just things that don't even make sense. You know, but it's just like, you know, like, I love orange or something like that. It's like all these... It's great. Oh, my. I'd be scared around those people. Can we pull that up? Do you know where it is? Oh, yeah. So if you just look up, Cheyenne, if you look up, like, a couple that protests, like, abortion people, you know, because it was all... It was really funny. The signs. And everybody's now been posting signs. Abortion protests? Yeah. It was like that day in Linnea. What city was it in? Oh, fuck. Oh. I don't know. You know what? It's probably going to come up because it's been in a bunch of different cities now. They started a trend. It's going everywhere, Cheyenne. It'll be here before you know it. We can find a clinic and just go out and protest it. They are really radical, though. I mean, they could... They are very radical. They blow up clinics. I'd be a little... No, I know. It is, but you know what? Scared to kind of... You can't... You know, they... If they're protesting, you're allowed to protest. So, like, if you have your... I mean, it's pretty brilliant the way they do it. But they're so passionate about it. Oh, I know. That's why the signs give it such a great balance. With their signs. The sign is great. If you saw some of those signs... She'll pull it up, but it's literally... If you saw some of those signs, it's just like... You should get, like, little fetus... So ridiculous. Little fetus donuts and offer them to them. I love how Stevie takes something and goes overboard with it. Fetus-shaped donuts. No. No. No. No. I like fetus-shaped donuts. Although I would eat them, I would so eat penis-shaped donuts. You would. But would you... These are fetus-shaped. No, I would not eat a fetus-shaped donut. Fetus-shaped donut. I could not do that. I could not bring myself to do that. I have... I could look it up, too. Would you be okay with eating a fetus-shaped donut? No, I wouldn't eat a fetus-shaped donut. No. Well, you wouldn't have to have a sign. You could just sit there with a box of a dozen. You could just throw it at them. Oh, God. No, it's so scary, though, because I haven't... With red frosting. Have you been to one? No, I haven't. It's too soon. Is that it? Oh, yes. He is single. He is single. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Those are great. He is single. He loves them. It's so great. Now, does she have a regular sign that said something about abortion? She just, like, flipped it so they didn't know? No, she's the funny one. Stand next to the... Are there more images? We have more. That's great. That's one of them. That's great. It's brilliant. Wait, isn't that brilliant? They literally, like, have all those... Signs of signs. And they're great. He is single. Is it primarily men? I like turtles. I like turtles. But look at... They're, like, actually, like, peaceful with each other. Like, standing... Yeah, they're not... Yeah. World's worst nanny. Oh, my gosh. This is when they don't know that they're posing behind them. It's great. It's great. It's like photo... It's like a sign bombing. They're all praying for... Jesus. Jesus. Lace. Oh. Babies. Babies are murdered. See, that's what they do. They have these signs that say, Babies are murdered here. And, like, you know, Pregnant woman needs... Needs support, not abortion. The whole needs support, not abortion. You're like, no, it's... Then support them. Yeah, nobody... Do you feel that strongly? None of these people are supporting... You're not gonna pay for the... You're not gonna do any of that. But we don't know if they are or not. We don't know 100% sure. Oh, you mean... Most of them are probably... I'm talking about the guys that are out there. Most of them are probably just... These protesters aren't gonna help these women. Like, and also, too, it's none of your business. It's not your... I mean... That's true. Absolutely. I'm right there with you. I don't like it, but I am horrified when I see this photos. And also, these are old white men that are literally sitting there with nothing better. It's like, why do you have any say... Oh, yeah. Let's see. Women's rights expert. All white men. And they're both gingers. Yes, there's one behind that's a ginger. There's three of them right there. Yeah, look at them staring at us. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I was, like, on Facebook. And they're, like... That's brilliant. That's brilliant. Somebody send me a picture of a baby's head in, like, tongs and half its head's gone. Oh, Stevie. Who sent that to you? People who are against abortion. I think that... Who are you hanging out with that are so opinionated? I was gonna say. Oh, it's on Facebook. My friend's on Facebook. You know friends on Facebook are that opinionated? Yeah. Really? Yeah. There's also... I just scrolled past it. Did you guys ever see the Ali G show? Have you ever seen... Well, it's, like, Borat. Yes, I have seen it. It's funny as fuck. Ali G. He showed up at an abortion protest in Washington. No, I'm sorry. It was a pro-life. It was a pro-life... Or pro-choice. It was, like, pro-choice, pro-life. They all came out and marched on Washington. And he showed up to the... And he asked the pro-life people. He goes, um, so you don't like abortion, right? Oh, happy St. Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day. That's great, right? Oh, my gosh. And he asked the pro-lifers, so you don't like abortion? And, you know, and his Ali G asked, and they go, no, we are very against it. He goes, well, how do you... I mean, if you've never had one, how do you know you don't like it? I like it. That's what he'd ask if he goes, I mean, I never liked a Big Mac, but then once I tried it, I loved them. Oh, my God. Like, that's so wrong like that. But the faces on them were like, are you... Like, they're comparing abortion to a Big Mac? Burger, Big Mac. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, but that's the kind of things he did on his show. Do you know what I mean? He was brilliant. He was... Does he still do that show? Oh, my God. I don't think he does, only because... He might have... He might have brought it back, but the problem is everybody knows, you know, so it was all... No, what's the problem? The problem is I think everybody knows him now, so it's hard to trick people. You know what I mean? Like, I think that might have been what it was. Oh, my gosh. When he shows up, people will recognize him. They know him, yeah. But the fun part about it was that they didn't know him. But I don't know. I should look it up, but it was so freaking funny. It was. It was at 73. Now I got us on abortion. 1973 or something. I had people say, oh, your name's Ro? Like, Ro V. Wade? I'm like, well, what a weird reference. That's a weird one. Oh, that's a really strange one. I know. I was like, okay, if that makes you remember my name at abortion trial. I don't think anybody's ever going to forget your name. I want to thank you for last night. We came out last night to see your comedy show. Did you have fun? I had so much fun. You had a wonderful... The class, the comedians were fabulous. They all pulled it off. They all did it. I was so proud of each and every one of them. But some of them had some really, really, really good moments. They had, you know, there were chunks that they were really rolling, that they felt it. You know, it takes a lot of balls to get up there and do that. Oh, my God. It's one of the hardest things. The only time that I... I used to do a 20-minute... I'd dance for 20 minutes. Yeah. Four songs, get naked, and then I would do a 20-minute talk show afterwards. Okay. And I would do it completely butt naked. Naked, yeah. It was a comedy show. I had my little shtick and how I felt about this. But I could do it because I was butt naked. And it was my stage, my show. Yeah. You know, I came out as a feature dancer. You know, I had a show that was choreographed as much as it could be because I can't dance. Well, that makes two of us. If you asked me to put my clothes on and go up in front of people and do comedy, I would totally freeze up. I had to walk a red carpet last week and I froze up. Really? Well, the main reason was we came from work. Because you had your clothes on. We came from work and I was wearing a... It's a free people dress, but it's like the kind that you would be picking flowers in. Yeah. And I had, you know, the little yellow string that held it up and the dress hung on the string was made out of like a raglan and it pleated out at the bottom. So it was a super cute dress. Not something you would wear to walk a red carpet. Yeah. I had no makeup on. Okay. And it was the worst. I saw pictures of myself and I was fine when I was being interviewed, but there's pictures of me standing there. First, I'm shy. You know, I'm waiting and then I've got my hand on my hip and then I'm waiting and then I'm waiting and then I'm waiting. By the time I get up there, I'm going, I want to fucking leave. I want to get out of here. I don't know. I think it was, I don't know. I want to go home. We went and it was like, yeah, you weren't glammed up for it, but you're just ginger. It was fascinating. Everybody was glammed up. I would, you know, I should have just been ginger. But if they talk about anybody, they're going to be like, oh my gosh, did you see Ginger Lynn? Oh my God. They'll talk, they'll be like, oh yeah, she just kind of came all, she's just girl next door. Yeah, she is girl next door. On my behalf, my dress was completely see-through and my yellow top was a yellow bra that was underneath and it crisscrossed in the back over, and then my, so you could see from my bra down to where my blue jean shorts were and the whole thing was completely exposed. I just think your personality really shined on that. Do you think so? I think so. You were just ginger, so it was like, and that's what's always, you know, like that people remember about you. Not always, but they do. That's like the biggest part of people liking you is your personality and that shone on the red carpet more than being dolled up. You know what? You were ginger. What you see is what you get. That's, I had on combat boots and fuck now, that fashion week. You know what? I was the coolest person there. Yeah. Of course. I really was. I should have owned that red carpet. Ginger Lynn doesn't give a fuck. That's right. I'm so not cool. Neither am I. But you are for listening to Blame It On Ginger. Don't go anywhere. We've got a great show lined up for you. We've got Lana Turner coming in. We've already talked about abortion. I didn't know where to go with that one. Oh, gosh. Louis Adams from Rapture Novelties. We've got a great show lined up for you. We're going to have lots and lots of naughty fun. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back. Put that vacuum cleaner down. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. libre.. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do this, Let's do we had fun that's how we that's how I got on the radio we just cracked each other up now we've got more guests in the studio we're being rude Ro sorry I was gonna say cause that isn't they don't look so bad considering I've been on my feet for ages no they don't they're actually you have really nice feet really I really enjoy I don't like my feet I think they're so weird I enjoyed your feet and last night when you brought up your ankles your cankles yeah all I could do was look at your cankles I know I was obsessed about it when you brought up your snatch I got obsessed with your snatch I know I know you brought up your boyfriend farting I did not get obsessed with anything nope no I just felt really bad for you I heard him fart they all fart but when it's in your did you hear him fart? he was screaming he was playing football some football thingy he was making a football game on the screens with a machine and he was screaming the whole time and then he would fart and he had these little little little headphones on so he didn't know he was farting and he was like ripping some I know big ones oh no well we've been vegan oh and I have to hit you for that I've been craving brussel sprouts for two days now oh I can make you some brussel sprouts I love brussel sprouts yeah I'll make you some I'm gonna see no I'm not gonna see you Saturday are you going to the party on Saturday? he doesn't know about it do you want to go to the party on Saturday? oh I don't know what the party is we're going to Halloween Hotness oh it is a Halloween I can't do it without my glasses it's a foundation does the back of that flyer say you can kiss a corpse for a hundred dollars? for a dollar a dollar it's a dollar all the proceeds go to Cancer Research Foundation it's all yes all the money is donated yeah you kiss a real dead person? yes oh that's a deal yes it's brought in by Girls and Corpses they bring in if you've seen their magazine they shoot girls now do you have to fill out a form while you're alive in order to be kissed while you're dead? I don't know you probably have to sign something I'm not sure you're going to be on a special list for that it's going to be a great party there's burlesque dancers there's all kinds of people going to show up I'm going to be there I'm bringing a giant oil pit just for my closest friend how do you transport one of those? it's in a box it's blow up I've got a pump I blow it up I've got a hot chick coming along bringing the hot baby oil and anybody who's up for it you just have to sign a waiver there are lots of waivers being signed I have to fill one to say I'm 18 then the dead girl then the guy then the oil pit you're very on top of it I've got everything going on at once I can juggle you see? wait there you go there you go I always wanted to be one of those girls that can make one move at a time I have to raise my hair so I move one at a time yeah but if you could move one at a time they wouldn't be called boobs they'd be called pecs yeah can you do that? no I can't no I just go like this yeah it's good enough the shoulder roll the shoulder roll the shoulder roll squeeze them together a little bit anyway we've got more guests in studio we've got Louis Adams yes from Risque Novelties give them rapture rapture novelties what did I say? Risque I am you know what? the product is risque you know what? it's called rapture it's called rapture I am so I did not fuck up totally royal not at all not at all no you cannot fuck up oh yes I can I am the biggest klutz ever I can't walk and talk at the same time I forget where I am I can't I have very blonde moments I get more and more of them as I get older well then all the more reason to chain you down so you don't get lost okay now Louis has brought in all kinds of goodies and toys that we're going to play with today now you've got five different people here in the studio I think maybe we should play like a truth or dare kind of game who gets to play with the toy ooh whatever game you want to play unless you look like you had that in mind for me no? or is that for you? I figured I was just going to take things out and see what I meant to try them on I'm going to say put on everything let's see what we've got does anybody confuse your necklace with an eyeglass holder? no what? that thing's pretty intense is that heavy on your neck? no not at all it's about ten ounces if you want to feel oh okay Louis is wearing one of the sexiest pieces of metal it's a polished stainless steel collar whoa whoa is it like he's been collared yeah this is I'm sorry it's screwed on it comes with a screw and a screwdriver to take on and off and a lock whoa whoa! oh my goodness probably that is a commitment piece absolutely that is heavy duty and amazing it's one of the sexiest pieces I've ever seen you walked in and I immediately went to your neck gravitated there's a lot of craftsmanship involved in this it brought out my sexual that side of me it's kind of like a you want to see it? yeah pass it around I want to wear it try it try it on it's kind of like a Cartier necklace mmhmm you know Cartier's got this or Tiffany's where can we get these products Louis? well the products are available ooh the retail store the hustler stores the romantic stores online you can find the products for sale on ourbondage.com ourbondage.com sextoy.com as listed no one's gonna get mad this isn't like cheating if I put this on is it? not at all okay and you know what that's a really good question these are all samples no nothing is personal no the reason that he's asking is because before we started the show we were talking a little bit and I've been in this relationship now for almost seven years we're over six years to the clapping and thank you the clapping four years that's huge and one of the things we have an amazing wonderful sexual relationship I have not been with another man since I've been with him although I still get to have bring out my bisexual side and be with all the women that I want as long as he's there so I bring women home on a regular basis and we have a couple of rules and the rules are I don't do it without him there when we are doing with people I have to give the signal to fuck there's no fucking unless I say I want to fuck you I want you to put it in and then he gets to make the choice himself and one of the boundaries we have on the outside is I don't get spanked by other men and you brought in some incredibly beautiful but can you get spanked by another woman yes I can yes I can and we have Rowan's studio today the spanking special oh am I spanking we're talking about it go ahead talk to Stevie for a while we don't know what we're doing with you yet I was taking photos pay no mind here nothing's going on here ma'am move along I don't know I don't trust it now this is perfect for you I actually sat in Row teaches a stand-up class I had no clue known you for so many so many for almost a year now yeah months and I had no idea that she did this so we ended up I went and checked out the class and you need canes because these people who these performers these new comics that are taught here they really need a little encouragement Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah! That's so good. I can feel that if that's hard enough. I could use that. That looks like it would hurt. I have been caned. I went up to kink.com and I shot two scenes for them. I did sex and submission and I did the ultimate surrender. Sure. The armory. And I had the back of my legs caned from the top of my thighs all the way down. And how did that feel the next day? You know what? When it happened, it was with someone that I was in a relationship with. So it was right there between us. It was real. And I'd never done it before. And I was crossing a big boundary for me. We took photographs. I actually blew them up into 8x10 black and whites and made this big collage for them. They were just really fucking beautiful, beautiful shots. So when it was happening, there was a lot of emotion going on. There was a lot of eroticism. There was a lot of pain. There was a lot of anticipation. It was amazing. What I didn't think through is I go to Sturgis every year with my dad. And we ride Harleys for a week or two around Sturgis, South Dakota. And I'm wearing little biker shorts the whole time. So I had to wear long pants for the first week because I had bruises and I had cane marks all up and down the back of my thighs. They weren't, you know, the skin was broken a couple of places, but I could hide it well enough. You know, I just wore longer shorts and looked a little geekier. The rest of the time, I just wore my leathers the whole time. I'll tell you that this hook, I could use this in class because I could just grab them off the stage. Yank them off the stage. And it goes great as like a little Bo Peep outfit. You could be like the caning little Bo Peep. You're like the knight. You're sitting there with your... Yeah, you could be like the sadistic sandman from the Apollo. Yeah. The schoolgirl. This is a cherry wood. It's a little Lex Flesco. And that looks a little ribbed in front of the camera. What's that for? Well, it's just a handle for a grip. Oh, okay. What is this one made of first while we're holding it? That's got a good grip. This is a bamboo cane. We have a rattan cherry wood. Oh, this is beautiful. What about espresso? Grande. Incredibly light and smooth. Oh, yeah. Now, it does carry quite a while, but I know that. I'm going to set this over here because I think we're going to demonstrate this. And since I don't have boundaries with women, Ro... I'm not going to hit you. You'll be taught how. No. I think... Look at Louis. We can teach her, can't we? We could. Absolutely. Oh, yes. And this one, this is beautiful. I love the craftsmanship. I love the feel. I love... It's just fucking... It's the fabric of our lives right there. Yeah. Made in America. It makes my... It makes me all warm. You want to bring this to your show? My heart beats a little bit faster when I hold it. That's the idea. Yeah. No, it feels really, really good in my hands. I love the grip on it. Mm-hmm. This is incredible. These are wonderful, incredible pieces. You can get these. These are from Rapture Novelties. They're available at probably most of your local sex shops. Most of the local shops. Your Hustle, your Romantics, whatever your local... Oh, you guys are in everywhere. Absolutely. You're everywhere, huh? And they're high-end, beautiful. They're beautiful. These are pieces that I would be proud... Oh, thank you. Yeah. You know, they're just... There's something that you'll be proud to own. Yeah. There's not a lot of canes out there. We do well with canes. They are really, really, really nice canes. Now... You do... People... A lot of people buy them, huh? So, I didn't know there were a lot of people into canes. We have four different styles. The Natural Rattan, the Cherry Wood, and... A lot of people need canes. ...Telerands. Exactly. And the School Girl with the hook. And surprisingly, they move very, very well. Yeah. It's... It's the whip. It's not so much a pain. It's more of the domination and that sensation. Exactly. The anticipation. Really? The anticipation. My heart is literally beating faster than... Feel my heart. Do you have an... On occasion... Because she wants me to feel her boob. Right, right. She wants me to feel her boob. Listen. It's just throbbing. Do you ever get on occasion... It's throbbing. That's your... That's your hand pushing my hand on your boob. No, that's my heart beating. Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really fast with anticipation. Okay. Do you ever get a senior citizen that's like, I thought this was a different kind of cane. That's a good question. Okay. I wasn't sure if you had a couple that are like... They accidentally wander into romantics and be like, this doesn't look like CVS. I'm canes. That'd be more like an older person. My son's... He doesn't use a cane. I don't know. I found this in his room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or my daughter. I've had the mistake, the anal hook for a fishing hook. Oh, no. The anal hook. Did you bring it? I want to see. Let's see the anal hook. Guys. This is from our... On a fishing trip. Our stainless steel. Okay. Okay. Very nice case. Thank you. A beautiful package. It is. It's an extended anal hook. Oh, my God. So, it would hold from the ceiling. The two eyes would be for binding the person into place. And then the hook would be holding them into place. That looks like you'd put it on your shower. Oh, my God. It's like a movie Saw. Oh, my God. Texas Chainsaw Massacre. These are the things you would see up at the armory. These are just samples, right? Unused samples. Now, let me ask you. Oh, yeah, no. Absolutely unused. Wait a second. We have an antibacterial wipe. Hold on a second. Somebody's like, that would catch a tuna. Yeah. They thought it was for game fishing. Seriously. It's like, I know what you did last summer. Do you want to play I Know What You Did Last Summer? Yeah. I hate you, but I have some fun. I cannot believe... I wear a trench coat. I honestly must be... I had no idea this kind of thing... I remember my first time I was exposed to it. I'm in a different world. I'm like, oh. I'll pass you the anal hook. I want to see the anal hook. I know you're into this. I'm feeling a little bit of my... I've never held an anal hook before. ... turn on for this. Oh, my gosh. Well, now, the anal hook, there's a part of me... My initial question is, is one size or shape particularly fits all in this case? Yeah, because it's not deep. Because the hook... I'm glad you asked, because we do have something that we mark as the vaginal hook. Oh, well, thank God. I was wondering when that was going to come out. Oh. Oh. Oh, my gosh. I got a... Oh. That is way sturdier. Oh, my gosh. A little more girth. That is... Where do you attach that? To the vagina. I know. So you've got your house outfitted for this sort of stuff. You can't just stick this in the ceiling without a stud up there. I swear on my son's life, on my grandfather's grave, that in my house I have... What do they call the big heavy beams? The cross beams? The cross beams. Mm-hmm. They're the ones that are set for eight people to be hung up in my house. They were there when I bought it. Wow. And evidently, they used to grow weed there. So it was their drying room, but... Sometimes you grow weed, sometimes you hang people from their ass. Sometimes you hang people. I feel like I'm about to harvest ice with this thing. So I totally imagine... Mm-hmm. You guys, neither one of you get the turn on here, do you? No. I just... I will tell you that I would like this to beat somebody with if I was in danger. Try this one. I would like to see a man... I would like to see a man... Much more solid. Oh my God. Would you call it impaled, Lewis? And I would say... Wow. Do you impale people on them? I am fast. You self-impale. You self-impale. You can't hang from the ceiling on this. No, no, no, no, no. That would hold from the ceiling and the bottom would have an eye holding to the floor, kind of like a heavy bag. You'd hide. It's on the same place and you would straddle onto that either the front or the back. Oh. You would be on the back. You could. It depends on the personal preference. I'm trying to think. I would have a lot of weight on... I'd be afraid of breaking my tailbone. Okay, you're not going to be suspended from the air. Okay, that's what I thought. That's what I thought. I thought... I'm picturing the name in the middle of the room. Okay, I thought you were hanging people from the ceiling. No, it's not like a meat hook. You could really get hurt that way. Yeah. It's slightly less horrifying this way. They would pull you up. Basically, you would be attached in. They would put it in place and then pull it up a little just to... Oh, okay. To pull you up a little bit. Oh, okay. Just to hold you. I thought you were hanging mid-ceiling from the ceiling. And then they would pick your slack. Oh, okay. And then they would just take out of it and just hold you. Oh, that's hot. I thought you were swinging from the rafters like a side of beef on that thing. No, no, no. I thought, what if you fall? You kind of fall and you're stuck there. Yeah, well, for entertainment purposes only. You have to sign a waiver before you do picnics. Again with the waivers. Again with the waivers. This is the most dangerous, safest show I've ever done. Over legally protected show. There's a lot of waivers. Luis, these are just so well made. Absolutely. We have a factory in China that... It's... They're made off of our designs. They're laser cut. Now, do they have different colors? They're pieces of art. Not in the stainless steel. We do have other products that are gold plated. Let me pass this back over. But we don't have a different color steel, just the one stainless. I can totally imagine it turned on by the thought of somebody standing there and being self-impaled by this. I am totally turned on by it. It's like a candy cane. I know. You can hang it from your Christmas tree. You can put it right on... It's more for the Hanukkah. You can actually hang the mistletoe from it. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You can hang the mistletoe. Again, you could hook somebody off stage with it. There's a lot of uses for that. There you go. Absolutely. Oh, let me hold it first. I'm sorry. Hold on. Sorry. I actually... I, unlike you, love the feel of each and every piece of this. I'm just going... I'm just... Do you see the art in this? Do you see the beautiful lines? No, yeah. But I just had no idea these things existed. There's no turn on factor. No. You don't just imagine this going up into your pussy just even a little bit. Not really. I mean, but... Hanging from where? Hanging from where? Not yet. I live in an apartment. The first time... Where am I going to hang it? The first time I saw a cage, I was supposed to shoot for Hustler Magazine. Cage? And I walked into a store down in Orange County and I saw a cage and I saw women's shoes in men's sizes. I saw... Whoa, wait. What's a cage? A cage... It's like a dog cage, only it's a cage for people. To do this kind of stuff? They had all kinds of this stuff. And what happened to me was I went back home and I broke down in tears. I had to call my agent. I said... I'm not that kind of girl. I cannot do this photo shoot. And Larry Flint personally called me and he said, Ginger, you will never work again in this town. And I was just like... What? I thought it was a friend fucking with me at first. So I'm like, fuck you. Larry Flint? I thought it was somebody messing with me. Okay. It wasn't. And it... Yeah. You're like, Larry, I hope you're sitting down because I've got some issues for you. Stevie did not. Nailed it. On that note, we're going to take a quick break. We're going to go to the next segment. We're going to go to the next segment. We're going to take a quick break here. Don't go anywhere. We've got more toys. We have Andy Osterhoff in studio, Louis Adams from Rapture Novelties, and we have Lana Turner coming in very soon. I think there will be caning involved and I don't know what else, but my heart, as Ro can attest to, is still pitter pattering. We'll be right back. Pitter pattering. On Blame It On Ginger. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. Let's get right to it. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I like the moment. I like the sting. I like the moment in between when I don't know when I'm going to get it again. I like that. And she also likes to have a cup of coffee in between. After it hurts, I like it to be rubbed and taken care of. I actually really enjoy being spanked. Yes, I'm very excited about this right now. I like that. That thing you can also play paddle ball with. You could. There's just so many other functions. Like, I mean, this is a moment. Now, what does something like this go for? Yeah. The paddle retail, $80 to $90. Oh, that's not bad at all. I would think it would be more. I thought it would be more as well. That's very reasonably well priced. That's made well. Absolutely. Did you feel? No. It's heavy. Let's see. It's heavy. Oh, God. Whoa. It's shiny. I like shiny things. You can do your makeup in there. It's a mirror. It's a mirror. There you go. It's a mirror. You can check your lips. You could flip a pancake with that and really get the hole underneath. You can row a canoe with it. You could. If you were stuck in a boat, you can get out. You could make your partner could make you use it as a mirror and make you put your lipstick on every single scene. You could spackle the walls with it. If that was sitting on a table, the last thing I'd be like, oh, this is a paddle to spank somebody. I would not think that. I would think many other things. Would you like to come to me or would you like me to come to you, baby? Oh, whatever works. I don't know. Come on over. I've got a camera right here. Okay. Now, I still have marks. I took a birthday spanking for one of our guests the other day. I got 40 times spanking. Well, happy birthday. Yeah. So I still got a few marks on my tushy. Wait, when was your... It wasn't my birthday. No, I took it for somebody else. Oh, well, happy birthday to that person. No. Row, get ready. No, I'm not telling anyone when it's my birthday. Oh, my goodness. Oh, what the? Oh, are there still bruises? I can make you row. All right. Moving my mic. We are right now. Ginger's getting spanked. You have to have a good grip on that. Lana, before we do this, Lana, have you done this before? No, I've never. Okay, then don't hit too hard and it's more... Do you want to tell her how to do it or did you already tell her? No, I didn't tell her. No, no. It's one of these things. She'll learn as she goes. All right, then I'm going to pick up. All righty. All righty. I don't want to hurt you. You won't hurt. Just make sure you have a good grip on it. Do it in the meaty part of the ass. Yeah, the meaty part. Do it right in the meaty part. Yes, okay. Right, right. Ooh. Does that hurt? That one will be a little bit low, but yeah. Okay, more like... Wherever. That's going to be... There you go. Yeah. Oh, wow. There you go. Now that's... You want to hear the slap. You want to hear that's how you know you hit the good fleshy part. Give it more of a wrist... Oh, there you go. That's good. There you go. You're saying you don't know when it's coming. Then you can connect the dots after when they leave. So, could it be now? I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, man, the suspense. Oh, it's killing me. What? Oh, there it is. Oh, you got her. Wait, is that a fly? Oh, there's a fly. Oh, no, that's Ginger's butt. That's a kiss print. Oh. Now I'm going to have little bumps all over my butt. Do you want more of these? That's pretty red. Oh, yeah. That's red. That's probably pretty red. Maybe one more for... We're going to be trying other things. Okay, Lana's into it now. Yeah, Lana's enjoying this. I thought you'd come up with other creative... Lana's enjoying this. Okay, one more... She likes it when it can't breathe. One more smack. Ginger Lynn, clean up your room. Oh, there you go. And that's what I used to get called when I was... I knew I was in trouble when I got the Ginger Lynn. That's part of why I picked her name. Lana was like a pro. That was fucking awesome, Lana. I'm a mom, and you're not supposed to spank your kids, so I can come here and take it out on you, Ginger. Yeah, right? When I go visit stores. And my ass is warm now, and it's starting to tingle a little bit. Did I do good? You did a really good job. Okay, good. You know what? You should do comedy dominatrix. No, I should not. Come on. I'm so not a dominatrix. Me neither. I would beg to differ here. It came out in you. Yeah? There was definitely... You were into it, and you're done with it. Okay, we have anger issues. That's probably part of that. That's great. We're a little angry in comedy. I can see you and I actually having sex, and you taking the dominant role. Yeah? Yeah, I totally can. Except I don't know about licking a puss. Like, that's something like... I think if a lesbian needs to be dominant, she needs to grab a woman and lick her puss, and I just have no interest. Why don't you make me lick your puss? Oh, then I would be dominant. You could just grab me by the back of the hair and push... I could probably catch, right? Yeah. I'm just not... Something about a vagina that's too real. Like, I don't know. It just never looked tasty to me. Have you looked at my big book of pussy? No. Vaginas are beautiful. Oh. Oh, my God. They are just stunning. They are. Here's the thing. You could just be like, my specialty is I spank. Okay. And that's it. And tell jokes. Like your CD playing in the background. I don't like spanking. I'm really... I'm not really... No, it's really... If somebody heckles you, it's a new way to deal with them. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay, I just see the front cover of the book of... That looks like chewed up bubble gum. Yes. That doesn't look... That's what it looks like. Oh, no. You don't think that's beautiful? It doesn't have to look... Look at the space... That? At the cover? In between the pussy right there. In between the legs, that little open part. It looks like a heart. Her lips are all chewed up. It looks like a heart. It's something to play with. Just think about sucking that in between your lips. Is that supposed to be her... Is that her clit or is that her lips hanging down that are just... That is the labia. That's her labia. Yeah, thank you. That's her pussy lips. Those are the labia. The lips. But why are they all gummy looking? Because they've been a beast of shit. No, there's all different... No, there's all different kinds of them. If you look at this, you can see the face that goes with the pussy to get a little contact. No two vaginas are alike. That would be a fun game, actually, to try to guess whose face goes with which one. Which vagina, right? Yeah. Like, I would never guess that woman's pussy looked like that. We did one... I don't know why. The indicator is her titties. The type of titties you have are a good indicator to what kind of pussy you have. And how does that work? If you've got big old floppy hanging pussy or titties, you're probably going to have big old floppy hanging pussy lips. Okay. I've been around enough different pussies. Titty type and style, if they're natural, are a very good indicator as to what type of pussy. And if the titties are not real, then you have no idea. You really can't tell. Science. You don't know what you're getting into. There's many women we don't know about. It's just like men's thumbs. I can basically tell the style of your... Not the size, but I can tell the shape of your penis by your thumb. Really? Go ahead. The shape? Okay. Let me see it from this way. What about circumcised? Can you tell that by looking at it? Either one? I'm ready. Okay. I'm going to say you have a pretty uniform style penis. Your head, you've got a decent helmet and you've got... The backside of it drops down a little bit lower than most guys. You don't have a small little helm. You've got like a lower side to it that goes down a little bit extra low. Are you still talking about the head of the penis? The head. Just the head. Can you tell size? I don't know what most guys look like, but yeah, it's uniform. Yeah. But can you tell size by looking at a thumb? I can't do size. The size doesn't... It doesn't, no. Just shape. Just shape. So if I had a penis, my thumb, how would it be? Yours would look like a vagina. You would have a penis on my thumb. Sweet. Perfect. Your penis looks like a vagina. Vagina. I would have an amazing cock if I was a guy. I so would want to be a man with an amazing penis. What size shoe do you wear? I'm like an eight. Okay, you have a decent cock. An average. You do have an average cock. So the foot to penis ratio, is that true? I've always heard it's not. For the most part. I have found it personally. And I look at all these things. One of the first things I look at, I look at the guy's thumb and I look at their shoes. I just do. I can't help myself. And you're always right at sort of what your assessment is? I'm 99% right. Yeah. I've got a pretty good indicator there between the two of them. So some of these guys in porn that are just hung like a horse, do they have giant feet and incredible thumbs? No, they don't always. But they have giant thumbs. So do you like just pick up hitchhikers everywhere? Pick them up. Look at his thumb. Well, you know, Hawaii is my favorite place to pick them up because everybody hitchhikes over there. Right. They still do. So yeah, I go at least once a year. Well, really, if you're going to pick up a hitchhiker in Hawaii, you can't do that much damage because you're stuck on an island. They'll catch you. Oh, I've been there. Yeah. I've gotten in trouble. I've gotten in trouble in Maui. For picking up a hitchhiker or just... No, just, just for drunken behavior. That's what the territory. Indian public indecency kind of stuff, you know. My titties accidentally fall out. Sometimes I just accidentally flop on a dick. It happens. It does. Lewis, what have you got for us next? All right, well... Oh, let's see. In addition to the heavy stainless steel, we have products called steel band. So if you want to feel the difference, these are our steel band handcuffs. It's a thinner piece of steel. It's much thinner. Has a little latex. That's a cool thing. It's a cool bracelet. Yeah, I was gonna say. That's kind of just a cool, like... As the bracelet itself. This is the... Oh, these are really nice. Oh, and it's got a little patch on it too. And that's a little tip. Now, Ro, if you ever had anything... I was gonna put it on you. Oh. Because you've not experienced any of this. I've experienced handcuffs, but they were fuzzy. Yeah, but these are real handcuffs. What's cool about that is you could actually wear one of those out and people wouldn't necessarily know it was a handcuff, but it looks vicious. You know? Like... Now, this is the cool part. We'll go through there. There's a hole in there. Here, put it up higher so I can... Oh, it goes in the hole first? No, no, no, no. That goes on like you had it. This goes on. And then the lock goes through the hole. And then the lock goes... No, you don't have to spin it. You don't have to spin it. I don't have to spin it. I just pop it out. Oh, there we go. Okay, and then the lock goes through the hole. Oh, shit. Oh, Ro, this is your first time. Oh, my God. We'll hold it up once we get the lock in there. This is the unsexiest scene ever. Well, I actually think it could be... Like, it's difficult to get the person into the bondage, so, like, that's part of the... Oh, yeah. Right through the hole is part of the fun. I like the way you think. I don't know. I just would think if you're into that... Once a person is well-practiced, it's just... Exactly. It's smooth as butter. Right. I'm just gonna get you locked up here. Hopefully that they... All right, now, Ro is locked into the handcuff. It's a beautiful, beautiful piece. Can you bend this way so I can see it in the camera? That is lovely. There we go. I would wear that as a bracelet and nobody would know that it was... No one would know. Absolutely. And your boyfriend, your husband, whatever, whoever is with you, and then this one... So then how does it... Well, you would attach the chain to it and you can be handcuffed to whatever. You could be handcuffed to leather straps if you had them. How do you attach this and this? Well, normally I'd come over Oh, you go through this hole. Exactly. You go through that hole. Oh. Those are serious handcuffs, so you're not getting out of those. No, you're not gonna get out. You're not gonna get out. That's the whole point of it. They're very comfortable. Exactly. They're not... They're not... They're strong enough and powerful enough. Like, I... My boyfriend calls me the Hulkist. The last time he tied me up, I broke through the chain. Oh. I broke the chain that I was attached to. I really did. Maybe that's part of the fun of it. That's because you weren't using products made by Rapture. Yeah. There you go. There you go. We have product. You're strong. We're the second level. There's a lot of fetish products out there that are fet light, as we call it, the fuzzy handcuffs. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The nice, juicy, little, fuzzy things. Kind of mainstream. Kind of mainstream fetish. Exactly. After Fifty Shades of Grey, everybody decided they're going to try the bondage and this is what they would try. Yeah. Rapture's for the next step. This is for people that... And what's the step after that? Might have a business. Homicide. I don't know. This is... Who's the most shocking person that you've seen? Not necessarily by name, but, like, some sort of, you know, like, I don't know, Hasidic woman or Arabic woman who came in, like, in full garb and was like, I need the toughest bondage. Like, what's the craziest... I don't work in a store. I don't work in a store. Oh, so you don't even know who some of your clients... I'd be interested to be a fly on that wall and see... Just see it. Yeah, because you know that, like, somebody's coming in there that you just know that that's their, you know... Absolutely. The majority of that... I don't look like I would be. I don't look like I would. You look like a church lady. If you didn't know that I was gingerly, I would look like somebody's, you know, girl. Just a mom next door. A mom next door. Absolutely. I would imagine that a lot of... Like, somebody comes over from the Middle East, they're here for a few months and they grab that and they can sneak it back to Saudi Arabia or something, you know, like... Under their burqa? That'd be great and you keep hearing chains while they're walking. A lot of this traditionally was sold through mail order. I bet. I'm curious about that. You're embarrassed to walk into the store and pick up a urethral probe or a cock cage or a spanker. Wait, a urethral probe? So are those stores mostly... I mean, do they make enough money in the store if everything's mail order? Yeah, I mean... It's not mail order. It's not... He said it used to be primarily... It used to be primarily mail order. Now they're just going to... You don't get it? Well, like I was explaining, the Hustler, the Romantic stores, your PK stores, that were traditionally for couples, for women. They didn't have a lot of the heavy, heavy, hard DVDs. They had more of the couples-oriented DVDs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Couples-oriented. But this is getting in there now. They're now starting to look at this because Fifty Shades of Grey opened up bondage for a lot of people. I was going to say, but if you read Fifty Shades of Grey, I'm sure you're not going to be getting the anal hook. No. No, that's not the same level. There really are. There's a progression. Exactly. I feel like a professional because I saw it and I wanted to try it. But I haven't tried that. I'm just like, wow. You sign a waiver. We'll get this in you right now. You want to test it? It's funny. I order everything online even my groceries now so I can order my milk and bondage all in one package. Can you make a note, Stevie, to keep anal, to keep what do you call them? A douche around. A douche around. Well, because I asked Stevie if he would put it in his ass right now and he's like, and he's not clean. Oh. I eat all the time. Well, I mean, is that like you would do you don't want to do that? It's always used to. In a group of people that you don't really know, you don't really want to have It's a very intimate type of thing as well. It's not appreciated. I mean, isn't there always something up there that can pop out? Oh, you with me? Yeah, because I talked to a friend. So there's some prep involved in this. Yeah, there is. If you're going to be watered up there and you got to almost hang up your shooter to be cleaned out. So you use a douche to clean it out and then you use an enema. You guys probably sell them. Enema. It's a bowl. Oh, an enema. An enema. Yeah. Interesting. So you have to enema before you do any. But I need the big one, like the one you hang from the shower curtain because there's just so much in there. Right. All the time. I'm bad at it. How do you do it? I don't do that half-time. How do we segue from that one? Do you eat a lot of vegetables too? Hold on. We've got more. We've got more toys. We've got two. He's always going to be here. Lewis is not always going to be here. I love how he's like, I got a lot in there. A unique design that we have. These are called the right angle cuffs. These are back. These are the heavy stainless steel. They come with two screws that go in on the side. If you want, you can feel how heavy those cuffs are. Oh, this is heavy duty. Whoa. Yeah. I don't think I'll fit in these. Lock them in. Oh, I do fit into one. Oh, you're getting locked up? How about that? I think just one. With ginger row and a lot of tighter. This you couldn't hide as a, oh, this is just a bracelet. No. Yeah. Put the other arm in. Oh, I understand. Absolutely. A lot to watch. Okay, you got the watch. Were you expecting this today? Let me know. Am I pinching you? Am I catching you? You just went for that too. There was no fight in you at all. I just sort of was like, I was just sort of going with the whole time I've been here. I'm like, I'm just going to go with it. That's just it. Yeah. How does it feel? Is it a bit of a turn on? No. What if I was? Not at all. Yeah, I don't know. That part was a little bit cool. Oh, now you're coming out with a cane? Oh, jeez. Isn't this a punishment in certain countries for like vandalism and stuff? In Asia, wasn't that a big story? Uh-oh. The cane again. Now you're going to get a cane. What is happening now? Uh-oh. Something is tickling my back. Yeah. It's a cane. No, it's a penis. Oh. I'm kidding. Oh, no. Look at her. Ginger knows what she's doing. Apparently. People pay a lot of money for this. I know, huh? Oh, yeah. Who's jealous? Who's jealous? Seriously. You don't look like a sub, though. What if you were standing up? Uh-oh. If you stand up, you're going to get hit. I don't know if I'm going to stand up. I'm going to stand up. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to tell you. I'm going to just stay in my comfortable, safe seat. You're going to get whacked. With the cuffs that you could not get out of if you wanted to. Might be. Probably not. It would take some... I wonder what Houdini would do in all this. They're not all in. He would be out of the room by now. Houdini wouldn't be able to get out of these cuffs. No, no. Not Rapture. No. All right. Those are... I think I'm done with the cuffs. It seems like it's a little uncomfortable being cuffed like that, but it... Because you're like crisscrossed. In the right angle pose? Yeah. That's the thing about it. It's the right... But I know they're done on purpose like that. Exactly. Exactly. That's the constraint of it. So is it like you're like this? Or what's the... You're held down. Do you know what that is? So you can cross your arms and support your body. You can be... You can't... Oh, they're like above the head? I just figured it out. You can be held either way. You can be above the head. You can be front. It's that claustrophobic. You can be hog-tied, I guess. I don't know. Exactly. Hog-tied? People want that feeling, huh? Sure. That is crazy. People love that feeling. They get off on that. But you do evolve. You do grow. You do change. As I was saying earlier, my first experience, I turned down Hustler and it was the one that ended up on the cover of Newsweek. That was the issue that I turned down with all the leather and all the bondage gear. And here I am today where I take it to the levels... My ass is still warm. It's something that you progress and grow into. Why was that on the cover of Newsweek? Oh, some big problem with porn. I don't know. They're always barking up the wrong tree. Oh, you've got a matching collar for the cuff. I do. Oh, it's a set. It's a set. We actually sell this as a five-piece set. What's the... Okay, so one, two, three. It's silver. Two ankles. Two wrists. Leathery on the outside. Oh. And then this, you put around the neck. So this isn't meant for like sparkly kind of stuff like how you were saying like the fuzzy handcuffs. Right. This is more for the people that are living the lifestyle going to try the lifestyle. Get out the gimp, right? This is... Yeah. No, not quite. This is in the middle. This is in the middle. This is completely in the middle. Oh, is the gimp hardcore? I don't know. I'm just... That's what I envision. If you have a gimp, I say that's pretty fucking hardcore. Yeah. You've taken the next step if you have a gimp in the closet. We've got Adam on the line. Wait. Isn't that the guy just sits in the closet? Not Adam. No, wait. The gimp? Gimp's in like a trunk or something. I don't know. It's something else. Do you feed them? Yeah. You have to feed your gimp. They die. You have to take them to the bathroom. You saw Pulp Fiction, right? Yeah, but I... Oh. Yeah, I did see Pulp Fiction, but I remember the ball gag thing. Yeah. But that's not his gimp. A virtual gimp. Get a virtual gimp. That's something that you play with. That's something that you enjoy. That's something that you put in your mouth and you're not allowed to speak. But the gimp just hangs out there and he doesn't have really much of a personality, huh? No, he doesn't. He does what you tell him to do. Whatever you tell him to do, that's what he does. All the time? A hundred percent sub. A hundred percent. Wow. Wow. All the time. How long do you keep them for? As long as you want. As long as you... Oh, you usually have a contract. Really? So you keep them as long... Again with the waiver. She signs a waiver, right? You do. You do have a contract with your gimp. That's the way... Wow. Are you just learning something? I didn't know the contract with the gimp. Yeah, there is a contract when you have a dominant, submissive relationship. Oftentimes, they do have contracts involved. My boyfriend and I, we have a verbal contract. We actually know where the limits are, how far to go, and don't cross those lines. Oh. Wow. So there are a lot of rules and it's all consensual. It's all giving up. See, for me, it's not that I am being spanked or I'm being punished for something. I am giving away the control that I have, that I have all day, every day. I have to be the mom. I have to be this. I have to be that. I get the gift of being all of those things as well, but it pulls on you. And this is a time when I give up complete control over anything and everything that I do. I give it to you. You do what you want with me and I let you do that. I would imagine it would be really fun, actually, to just be all tied up and do everything you want. To let go and let somebody else do whatever they want. You've got to have complete trust in them. If you trust that person and that's, you know. So in the verbal contract, does he have to take you out to dinner first? No. No. I'm just kidding. It depends on what we're playing. Is there a Big Mac in this deal? Italian dinner and then I'm yours. If I'm in charge, but that would defeat the whole purpose if I said, okay, you take me out to dinner and then I'll let you tie me up. It doesn't work that way. No. You just got to be the one. What if he goes to Burger King or whatever? Adam? Yes? Adam, what are your thoughts here? Well, I was wondering if Jenny was interested in any of those spanking equipment that's been brought in this evening. Jenny is not here today, Adam. No, not Jenny. No, she's not here. No, we've got Cheyenne. Yeah, Cheyenne. We've got Cheyenne. Ask her if she wants to answer. Cheyenne, would you like to try anything? Anything new back there that's looking interesting to you? I would try and get out of them to be honest. That would be fun. That would be part of the turn on for me if you got in them but only if you wanted to be in them. Would you consider being handcuffed? Handcuffed? Yeah. How far do you take it? I like the cross one for some reason. The right hand. That one was cool because it's like it's impossible. There's no really room to flex around that either. It's just kind of like put your arms out grab you and pull you around make you go anywhere and everywhere they want you to go hold them up above your head. Hang you upside down. It wasn't the most comfortable I've ever felt. You could still suck cock with those. I could imagine that. What about that vaginal hook? That was frightening. That scared you? But the anal hook. That was even more frightening. No, I was with you guys. I honestly thought it was like air lifted or something. I was so thrown off. I'm like, I don't understand. For some reason I thought it was like you're supposed to hang it to the ceiling and somehow hoist yourself up there. I didn't see it. You just jumped. Pretty intense. And you get on your I was like, you get a ladder and you're like a paper snowflake on Christmas. Just like that. I like that. Adam, thank you for calling, sweetheart. Thank you. Thank you so much. We're going to take a really quick break here. We will be right back on Blame It on Ginger. Don't go anywhere. Oh my gosh. So who's leaving early? Did you say we asked? Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. She was shining like a star The beads of sweat were glistening As she and I were christening my car in Shangri-La And as it was in my tradition We'd run the gauntlet of decisions From routine to acrobatic and bizarre She said, now show me what you've got She looked so purely hedonistic As my insides went ballistic for the money shot And as the rhapsody subsided Dewey-eyed and thoughtly spoken She confided her misguided plans in me And she smiled like a child And she said I want to live a life of sin I want to be like ginger and then La-dee, la-dee Surrender to the force that lies within I want to be like ginger and then La-dee, la-dee Surrender to the force that lies within She'd always been a wandering vine She grew up fast and filled up fast As she soon became the master of the finish line And while she lacked sophistication There would be no limitations To the lengths of deprivation in her prime She said I'll be the bluest movie I live a life that's so divine Just sipping wine and blowing lines with Charlie Sheen I'll be in all the magazines They'll tell me no one's looked so fine in 69 Since Tracy Lord was sweet 16 And she smiled like a child when she said I want to live a life of sin I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die Surrender to the force that lies within I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die Well, she can take it like a I want to be that change you live She'll be the world's most famous tramp I want to be that change you live They'll put her picture on a stamp I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die I want to be that change you live La la dee, la la die Hi, Ginger Lynn here. Again, still, always. For everything naughty, for everything nice, for all of your porn stars, plus Ginger and Spice, go to gingerlynnauctions.com. Come play and take home a piece of Cassandra Cruz, Nikki Delano, Maybe Penthouse Pet Jenna Rose, Naomi Banks, Nina Hartley, Cindy Starfall, Mia Gold, Imani Rose, Elizabeth Starr, Aubrey Adams, Jodi Taylor, Jackie Joy, Erica Loren, Trinity Ray, Hyapasha Lee, Carolyn Fox, Annie Cruz, Savannah Ginger, Nikki Hunter, Christy Canyon, Tia Cyrus, Randy Wright, Brandi Aniston, Jocelyn James, Sabrina Deep, Hikidair, Misty Stone, Roxy Giselle, Amber Che, Selma Sins, Little Sky Diaper Hope, Lucky Star, Sunshine Monroe, Kelly Nichols, Playboy Playmate, Shauna Sand, Cassandra Cruz, Kirsten Price, Nikki Phoenix, and more are all available for you at gingerlynnauctions.com. ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We're going to move on to some Rapture Novelties. Louis Adams from Rapture Novelties. Thank you so much for coming in. We're not getting rid of you yet. We're moving to another little fun thing here. Awesome. I think you're going to enjoy. We have Andy Ostroff in studio. Thank you. And we have Lana Turner who's brought lots and lots and lots of swag. Oh my goodness. You have a new special out. Yes. Yay. And it is called, oh, you've got the top of it. So I wrote a song about it. It's on iTunes right now or anywhere where you download digital content. You can get it. And yeah, I'm really proud of it. It came out great. I'm wearing hot red leather, which is perfect for you guys. You are always hot. No, I mean, I did the Eddie Murphy like red leather. Oh, Eddie Murphy bath. Oh, that's so fucking hot. It's delirious. Yeah. Which one was the red? You had black and another one. You have a rocking body. Thank you. You are beautiful and have a rocking body. You really do. I want to come and see you. I don't think I ate for like six weeks before the special. Was it that long? At least three. At least three. At least three weeks. I was like, okay, I'm just cutting everything. But yeah, I mean, I work out a lot. I have to. It keeps me sane. Yeah. That's awesome. You can see her at the John Lovitz. Yeah, we're doing a show. I can see you this weekend. This weekend? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Saturday night. Saturday night. You know what? It's Nick's birthday. 10 p.m. And he wanted to go to the John Lovitz Theater. We were just there for Rose Comedy Extravaganza. Yeah. And so we heard about it and we were going to come there. That's what we're doing for Saturday. I love it. I get to see you twice in one week. Twice in one week. Can I borrow your red leather dress? Oh, yeah. Or I could wear this t-shirt that you brought me. Oh, even better. The t-shirt says, it's better when it's used. Yeah. With the recycle symbol with an arrow pointing to your vagina. To my vagina. Did you pick this out special for me? Well, no. I wrote a song called It's Better When It's Used. It's basically about as we get older, does vagina lose its value? And like, you know. I would love to hear it. Okay, well, I'll play. Oh, you want to hear it right now? I don't know. Are you in the mood for it? Sure. I just have to get my guitar out. Okay. Live performance. We would love for you to play a song for us. Yeah. No, I'm totally down. Yeah. Your new special, while you're getting it out, is called I Wrote a Song About It. It's available on iTunes. We've got all kinds of swag. There's a button. Yeah. There is. Now, this is the coolest thing ever. It's a little, what do you call this thing? It's a flash drive. It's a flash drive. Yeah, so you can watch the special. Your special on it. Is the special on that drive? Uh-huh. Nice. Yeah. That's very cool. How long is it? It's like an hour. How does that fit in this tiny little thing? I still amaze me that I can run me. How do you fit into every little DVD that you're on, little miss? I'm amazed you get so much stuff in that suitcase. I know. Giant porn penis fit on all those little videos. Well, now that we're talking about flash drives, Andy runs a show at a VHS store. Oh, you do? Pretty much. Or it's DVDs. It's DVDs. I thought I saw some VHS. They do have some VHS. They probably have some LaserDisc, too. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm going to show, it's the last, whoops. It's the last. It's the last Tuesday of every month. We're going to skip December, but it's the last Tuesday of every month, 8 o'clock at Cinephile Video. Yeah. Which is on Santa Monica Boulevard, Santa Monica and Sautel. It's right near the 405 on Santa Monica Boulevard. It's fun. Oh, that sounds like a blast. You perform in the middle of it. It's the last Tuesday of every month? The last Tuesday of every month. We got a show coming up next week. That's the last Tuesday of the month, I guess. And on the show, we have, let me- What do you got? Get the lineup. It's really fun. Yeah, we got Matt Iceman. Oh, Matt is awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Matt Iceman. Matt Iceman. Kira Soltanovich. Oh, I love Kira. Sandy Danto. Yep. Sandy's great. Chase DeRusso. Chase, I don't know. Chase, he's hilarious. And then Joey Rockenstein's on the show with me. Rockenstein, excuse me. I always mess up his last name. And I know him. And then we also have the one-man hip-hop house band, Bailey Anderson. He's very good. Wow, that sounds like an amazing show. He's a very talented guy. Yeah, he brings up each comic with a different song and stuff. He plays the pianos and he raps. It's great. We will definitely check that out. And what's the name of the club one more time? It is at Cinephile Video. It's called the Comedy Section. It's Cinephile Video on Santa Monica and Sawtail. It's also a really cool place just to go look and rent movies. And if the set's not going well, you could just pick out a DVD that you want to rent that night. Yeah, we actually started to make it a little bit more. When you did the shows, before we did the, we started to make it a little bit more movie-themed. Like, each comedian goes up and has to, they get, like, a title of a movie. Okay. And then they have to tell us who's in the movie, what's it about. And it's all a fake movie. Like, who's in the movie, what's it about. Oh, it's fun. Like, what's the climactic scene, you know, what type of movie it is, all that stuff. Like, they have to summarize the movie. Ooh, that's fun. And it's a fake movie. Fun. So, it's on... I would just say the movie of my life. Tuesday, October 28th at 8 p.m., which is at Cinephile Video. It is 11280 Santa Monica Boulevard, Los Angeles, 90025. It's free also. It is a free show. Free show. And we suggest that you donate $5. And usually, if you donate $5, you can choose from a DVD. Ooh. So, you see a comedy show. And you get a DVD. Uh-huh. And we have free beer, usually. Oh, yeah. They do have free beer. Free beer, too? Yeah. Artesanal Coffee. I know, right? There's coffee from... That's an amazing show. I don't remember the coffee name, but they are... They got cold press coffee. You can buy that. That's like $3. You have a killer lineup. It's not like... There's no bullshit on your show. No bullshit. It's a good lineup with free beer. It's a monthly show in Los Angeles. It's once a month. We can get a good lineup every time. You can see those same comics and pay for a ticket to get into a venue and have to buy two drinks. Yeah, and they won't be talking about movies, too. So, you can see them talk about movies and stuff. It's free beer. It's like the enemies. Yeah. Tax is done. Get a beer. It's great. That's awesome. I think Tuesday nights are going to be my new night out. Oh, yeah. You should come. I think that I will. Mm-hmm. That sounds awesome. Awesome. Yeah, it's always fun. Our last show, it just keeps getting better each week. So, it's only... This is going to be the fourth show, so... Fantastic. Good times. You're not going to pick on me, are you? No. No, because I have... You have not picked on me. You have not picked on me. I've been so good to you. You allowed me to stay in my safe chair while I was getting close to that 90 degree angle. That was very uncomfortable. You gently pressed the bamboo cane against my neck. I know. Comedy and videos? The cherry wood cane. It's perfect. It's pretty awesome. It's pretty hot. It's perfect. They just need a pole or something in there, too, so you can mix it in with other stuff. You can bring your oil pit. I can... The problem is, once I open it, I'm not bringing it anywhere. It's staying wherever it is. Once you pop, you can't stop with that thing. Exactly. Yeah. And she doesn't have enough waiver papers. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how crowded the show is going to be. There's no guest list. It's free. People go, you need a lot of waiver papers. Yeah. You can't bring the oil pit. Oh, damn. If we run out of beer, there's a 7-Eleven across the street. We got that. Waiver papers. We're good. Perfect. We're good. Perfect. Lana, are you ready to tell us about pussies? So this is... Yeah, I wrote this out of fear, you know, like as we get older, because I don't know when the cough and sneeze thing happened, like the sneeze and pee. I don't know when that happens. Has it happened? I'm scared about that. Like, I haven't done it yet. It has happened. It has? I cough and I pee. Oh, that's a scary proposition. And I'm only 51. Yeah, that's frightening. I'm just going to be, you know, I have to be totally honest. It's a radio show. People listen to me, and I'm going to be honest about the changes that happen. And it does happen. I love that you're honest about it, too, because, you know, unless you're hanging out with your girlfriends and somebody's like, oh, my God, I just coughed and pissed myself. I have some friends who have told me, too, that that's what's happening. And I'm like, oh, my God, is my vagina going to fall apart like a magician pulling, like, the scarves out of a sleeve? No. You need to use your vagina. Use your vagina? No. Your vagina, my vagina is as tight as, I can squeeze. If you put your fingers in my pussy, I promise you, I will hurt your fingers. Wow. That's good. Because you're kegeling. You're doing, I do that all the time. I drive three hours a day, an hour and a half each way to get here and back. I am kegeling the entire time. Good for you. And I have a lot of sex. I have sex at least four or five times a week. Right. If you don't use it, then it gets, does it go, like, bad, like old bread? Yeah, it does. It's like any other muscle. Like sour milk. The cervix is a muscle. I learned that earlier. I hike. I haven't used my upper body. I have no muscles in my arms anymore. I'm not using them. I'm not using the muscles in my arms. My pussy, I use on a regular basis, and it never has to fall apart. You will pee when you sneeze. At some point. And you're going commando. That's pretty brave. You know, I'm into water sports, and I kind of get a little turned on when it happens. I'm into water sports. There's a little part of me. I love that you're just, like, happy with that. I'm terrified of that happening. Like, I'm worried. Doesn't it feel good when you pee? Yeah. It feels good when you pee. I don't know. I pee in the shower. I don't pee like a full-on pee. There's just a little splash. Just a little dress. A little dress. A scotch. Yeah, I pee in the shower. Yeah. No, I'll just pee anywhere. Really? Yeah. I have no problem with it. She pees right here. I just pee. You want to see? I have a bed here. I don't pee when I laugh, but I haven't sneezed or coughed. You're okay. Wait. Oh, no. Oh, you got me. You got me. Oh, I got. All right. All right. So this is a song I wrote recently about it. It's not on my specials. This is a new one. So here you go. I began to think I was looking fine when a hot boy smiled at me. I'm married, so I want to be clear. I wouldn't have acted seriously. But that innocent flirt ended up crushing my esteem that day. Because he waved at my kids. Then he called me ma'am. And he turned and walked away. Well, I sat there dejected. Feeling very lame. Then it occurred to me. Old pussy needs a new PR campaign. Always recycle. Do not be confused. Brother, you know the truth. It's better when it's used. The muffler is good. The engine purrs too. Who cares about dents? You never should buy new. Kids are a fender bender. All it needs is love. Like your favorite old T-shirt. Or a beat up. Or a baseball glove. Kind of a fucked up visual, but it works. Right? It works. It works. It works. Many things get better with age. Like cars, wine, boats, and booze. So tap mama's ass. Come on guys, ready? Because it's better when it's used. Yee-haw! Woo-hoo! So if you find yourself a cougar, do not throw away. Like meatloaf and lasagna, it's always better the next day. Pussy doesn't spoil. So just turn out the light. Like sexual assault. Let's make a cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar cougar c I got to get that and blast it on my radio. I will never buy new pussy again. No. Pink is the new green. That was great. That was fabulous. Thank you so, so much. Now, on your special, which is just, it's available now on iTunes. Right. And it's called? So, I wrote a song about it. Just look up Lana Turner, L-A-H-N-A-T-U-R-N-E-R. Or if you're listening to this now, you're driving, you're like, who the fuck was that girl? I want to look her up. The easiest way, and I hate telling people this, but really the most memorable way for people to find me, and I want you to be able to find me. So, I'm going to tell you, my husband, everybody knows me as his wife, and which is, it's a double-edged sword. So, if you forget Lana Turner, you can look up Ralphie May. And most people who are familiar with comedy know who my husband is at this point. So, he's a fat comic that you might have seen on Last Comic Standing. Celebrity. So, if you look up Ralphie May. If you look up Ralphie May's wife, you'll find Lana Turner. At this point, that's a good way to find me. But the special's doing so good. People are finding it and really liking it. It's got lots of great reviews on there. But it's fun. I'm so proud of it. I worked so hard on it. Awesome. It's great to have it out in the world. Where'd you film it? In Vegas. Ooh. Yeah. Where in Vegas? At the South Point Casino. Okay. Which is a great casino. It's totally cool. And the theater there is kind of loungy and swanky. So, it's really fun. Oh, that sounds really nice. Yeah. It was fun. I will watch it tonight. Can you play something from your special? Sure. Am I putting you on the spot here? Am I just throwing you? Oh, not at all. No. I'm trying to think of what to do. You know, I almost want to do... I want to just... On this show, it's like you want to just do stuff that you can't do anywhere else. All right, David. Let's go. You want to take your shirt off and sing a song? Is that... No. Oh, right. All right. My bad. My bad. I just feel like... But, yeah. Because you can go to the special and see the... So, I'm going to do one that I did not do on the special. But that I can't really play on the radio anywhere. So, here we go. Go ahead. Do it. It's been a while since I played it. Here on Spidro Studios, you can. You can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. The vagina thinks she's better than the asshole. You can't do that anywhere. Poor mud pie gets defiled. It's a difference in taste. It taint that bad a place. Turn that sideways frown upside down into a smile. When you go down there, please don't forget the balloon knot. All the attention is stolen by the front. No wonder the turd launcher's mad and has something to say. That vagina is a really selfish cunt. I love it. It's my favorite word. One time the brown eye got so offended. It's a difference in taste. That it started to crack. The vag is so unkind. The bum gets left behind. Insulted. Always wiping front to back. La da da da da da da da. See, I can't play that anywhere else. I'm going to stop right here. Because how do you follow an anal hook, really? You kind of have to go right forward. Right, right, right. Yeah. You can follow an anal hook if you're with Lewis. Yes. With a vag hook. Yay! Yay! Happy Parade. That was great. Thank you, guys. You are so amazingly talented. Thank you. So are you. I love it. Oh, well, thank you. Do you watch my films? I have. Are you a big porn, or not just my films, are you a big porn kind of a, kind of a sort? You know, I, I'm, I'm going to be, I don't mind porn. I have, like, certain things in porn that I like, and then, I, there's, there's, there's a lot of things that I like, and then, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, there's, like if, if certain noises people make, I'm like that's not like, or, or music or like certain European or like, or I've been in Korea like where they're like raping the girl. That's too much. Like certain things, but like certain types of things I'm like, oh that, that, and I'll, I think it's a healthy outlet for people. And I think I have seen yours. Do you watch it alone? Yeah, I have. Yeah. I'm not. I watch gay porn when I'm by myself. Really? I do. You get off to watching two guys? And I watch the European shit as well. Straight girls watch gay porn. No, European stuff is great, but when it goes German, sometimes it's a little too pooey. Oh, I don't want poo involved. I'll watch that for the oh my God factor. Yeah, that's nuts. I don't want to know. When I'm having sex, I don't want poo involved. Yeah, it's not sexual. No, it doesn't work for me. I know, I do have another line. I have two. No poo. But you have to watch it. It's like watching a car accident. You've got to see the... Do they do it on purpose? What? Poo. Well, sometimes somebody will send you a crazy link to something that just makes you giggle, but it's so gross. You're like, oh, oh, and then you laugh, and you're, oh. That's fun too, but it's not sexual. It's not going to turn you on. Yeah, but I watch you porn. You porn? Yeah, because you probably hate you porn because it's free. No, actually I go there and check out things myself. That's where I... When I'm doing a blowjob, we have you porn on the back. On, in the back a lot. I'm creative though. I can think about something in my own mind if I'm by myself and do it that way most of the time, but every now and then you're like, oh, I'm lazy. I want to look at something and then get a... You know? Yeah, that's a lot of information. But yeah. And how do you masturbate, Andy? You did our podcast, right? We still haven't released that episode yet. You haven't put that out yet? No. No, not yet. We're still waiting to release. We want to have a lot of them recorded and done really well because we have a year of... It's called the Perfect 10 Podcast. You can go and download it and listen to about a year of backlogged episodes, but it's been a year since we've been putting new content up and we're just creating a ton of content so we can just start launching them week after week and not have the pressure because that's what killed it for us was trying to get one done every week. Yeah. So we have that one backlogged. It's hysterical. I mean, that's so much fun. We cooked with you. We did. Yes. What did you guys make? Oh, you made... What did we make? I made something that I make... It was some kind of like... Was it Italian? It was a chili. It was a really good chili. Oh, I made my roadhouse chili. Yes. Yes. Well, the idea is everyone can cook and everyone can fuck, but very few people can do it professionally so why don't I have a professional person who can fuck cook and see where it goes? And it was so... That was an awesome episode. And we talked about sex the whole time. It was so much fun. I had an absolute blast. No, you were amazing. And so like... So when we were talking about it, we pulled up some of your stuff with John Holmes. Yes. And you know, the Wonderland house is like right around the corner from where we live too. So the connection... Oh, I didn't know that. It's like we can't see it from our house, but it's really close by. Oh, I'm glad I didn't know that when I came over I would have made a whole different dish. I don't know what I would have done but it would have been different. Oh, don't not come over. Maybe lasagna. Oh. Lasagna. I know. Did I really go there? Yeah, you did. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Great reference. But we watched that video. I didn't know it. I just like lasagna. You lower yourself, you lower yourself on that gigantic hog from above and you're hovering there and that is... You have seen the film. Yes, I've seen the film. And you're fucking so stunning. You are, you're like a 15. It's, you know, you surpass. You're like unbelievable how fucking hot you are. And so she's like hanging on to... I look so much tinier because I've got this giant, I've got, John's cock was from my elbow to my wrist. That's how, we did a scene once where I was giving him a blowjob, bent back over and I was like, I'm going to ask. And at one point, I'm like, what? Oh, that's my arm. They were the exact same size. It looked like there was a second penis in the shot because they were the exact same size. It was huge. And so next to that, when they lowered me down, I was petrified. And I read his wife's book, Laurie Holmes wrote a book and it's one of the, the only two pussies that John has ever fucked that he could actually take it and stay hard. I don't... What do you mean? He wasn't able to, because it was so big, he couldn't get enough blood in it? It's so big to get all the blood into it. Yeah. I mean, think about the size of that thing. It was, it took a lot of work for him to get hard and it took a lot more work to stay hard. He'd like faint when he gets a boner. Yeah. He'd send the blood in his head. I've never seen anything like it in my life. What did his thumbs and feet look like? I know, I was 20 years old. I didn't look. I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't have my sizes down. That's a really good question. But he was a very scrawny, he was very, his body was very thin and he was very, you know, he didn't have a whole lot of meat on him. So to have that big tight... Well, he did have a whole lot of meat on him. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. There you go. Boom. Nailed it. Someone give me a cane. If any of your listeners haven't seen that video, it's online. You can just... Oh, you can just... We just looked online. It's called Girls on Fire. And you were like in some kind of construction thing. It's like a fantasy flashback thing. He's wearing a welder's mask. Yeah. And you fucking so hot. Like, it's un... Thank you. Yes. I just... Anyways. That's all. Yeah. I'm familiar. Oh, I've seen your work. Thank you. Now I'm warm for another reason. If you ever decide you want to sample the puss, let me know. For me? Yeah. You're so sweet. No, I'm not. I would just love to be a lesbian though. I just can't. I could just lick yours. Me too. I'll meet you in the middle. I don't know. First of all, Ralphie wouldn't... I don't think. You don't think Ralphie would go for it? I don't think so. Like, we... That just... We're such like... I don't know. Wonderful people. We want everybody to see your special. It's called... So I wrote a song. So I wrote a song about it. So I wrote a song about it. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And the picture. Do you see the picture? That's a great flyer, by the way. So I wrote a song. And what is the thing that I might have written a song that has implied my vagina? Hello. Your vagina. Because it's got the censored marks over my hoo-ha. So I wrote a song about it. So it's, yeah, it's sexual. Like, the cover of the album is a little, like, implied. But, yeah. Awesome. Will you come back and see us in the near future? We didn't get nearly enough time with you and I feel bad. I would be here any time. You just let me know when. I love you. I love you, too, honey. Thank you so much for coming down. Thank you. Andy, where can we see you next Tuesday night? Next Tuesday night, yeah. And if anyone's in Huntington Beach on Saturday, I'm going to be doing a show there at Wahoo's Tacos. Wahoo's Tacos. Headlining up a taco shop. Yeah. We'll come see you. Thank you so much. And that's not just a date with him. Lewis Adams. Lewis Adams from Rapture Novelties. I want to thank you so much for coming in and bringing so many wonderful toys. My pleasure. Thank you for having us. Thank you for my wonderful gift. Stevie, thank you as always. Rodela Grazi, I love you to death. I love you, too. Thank you, everybody, for listening and we will be back tomorrow on Blame It On Ginger. Yeah. Outro Music