Horror movie talk with Halloween focus and Marry/Fuck/Kill game

! Ready for the Bad touch, bad boy, psycho fanboy, colored boobs with sociopath sassy pants Get ready, initiate a walk, word conversation in 3, 2, 1 Psycho killer Just you see Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa Fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa Run run run run That is my theme song and my wedding song It's a delightful wedding song to have Mine's down with the sickness by Richard Cheese so let's just deal with that Hello everyone I am Frank Bennington aka Bad touch, bad boy and today I will be co-hosting this episode with this woman over here I am a woman This is Anastasia aka Psycho Fembot I am here co-hosting with Bad touch, bad boy, against my better judgment You bitch This spells disaster And we have fabulous guests today Fabulous We have Mondo Franco Hola And we have Sean Owens Yay And we will be talking about horror movies in honor of the fabulous month of October and my favorite season ever Halloween Now they're playing my wedding song You're a freak I like you I feel like our weddings are going to be awkward They're awesome Anyway today we will be talking about Halloween touching on Nightmare on Elm Street That's really dirty but it's okay I will touch Nightmare on Elm Street Maybe even heading to scream territory That's not a scream That's better That was actually right back Alright so before we start Why don't you guests Yeah you You guests You guys You guys Introduce yourselves Say a little bit about yourselves I'm Sean Owens and I'm an actor and I'm a movie freak and these guys know that I'm a movie freak like them and pop culture freak like them so here I am My first time on the show Yay First time, first listener He's a podcast virgin For our show For our show I am Mondo Franco writer, director owner of Evil Panda Films and I am a guest with films There are movie buffs but I am a movie body builder It is all the heavy lifting I like that and I am a registered cinephile There you go You have to tell everyone in your neighborhood I know I have to tell I'm like I'm sorry We'll just put his address at the end of the episode Yeah I'm like keep your DVDs safe and away from me Very good Alright so without getting too sidetracked let's start but first I must mention that our other co-hosts Cisco and Rachel Yes we enjoy it here as usual We don't ever go I mean we're ever present I imagine that I haunt this place I was starting to wonder who they were I'm like God I'm just omnipresent all the time This is Francisco Calderon aka Cuddles the Sociopath And this is Sassy Pants Rachel Frumkin Is she wearing pants today? But they're not sassy They're very plain To put something out there today I'm not nearly as vocal as our past episodes because I'm not this is not the greatest subject for me This will be the silent version of the Francisco and Rachel episode because we don't know these movies Oh good I got here on the right episode I was gonna say They've been quiet this entire time I was like is the help on the show today? I'm very strange I don't watch these movies but I like to watch documentaries about the movies That makes no sense So I know stuff and I know like the makings and the goings on behind but I've never seen a Halloween movie and I've never seen a Nightmare on Elm Street movie So you read one verse from the bible and claimed to know the entire religion I didn't claim to know this subject I did not claim to know this subject Don't the documentaries make you at all want to see the movie? Well I figure like I know what happens I know what happens at the end of Psycho so I've never seen it So you know all the suspense build up is gone because you know what happens That's not true, no it's about the craft of the sequence I'm done guys thanks for having me That was not good Those views are not represented by the whole entire show No no That's why it's their show That's why they're quiet today It takes guts to admit that on this craft In my case I've never been that interested in horror movies in general I'm not a big fan of gratuitous violence You're watching the wrong ones Yes, admittedly there are some really good psychological ones We're about to talk about them tonight I really like those ones And that's the thing like I like thrillers and like sci-fi stuff but like gore and like slasher films are not my thing of like I've seen Stacy doesn't get this because I've seen all the Final Destination movies I've seen all the Scream films That's like Kill Porn Final Destination movies I've seen those kinds of stuff but like the Scream movies for me are like comedy horror they're not like they don't freak me out and I psych myself out so much that I get scared over stuff I was given homework by Frank to watch the Halloween movies which I guess I get a C I watched two of them Out of each? I watched the first two and additionally like he sat me down and made me watch the Scream movies so I'm familiar with those ones Those ones aren't entertaining enough I think the genre is amazing Oh yes you did M. Bison quote We have to figure out how to do that other sound I still want the Goro Everyone wants Goro Everyone wants Goro I like the four hands Well what is your okay so what makes I always ask myself this what is it that I don't really care about horror but let me turn it around what is it that makes you get into it I don't understand wanting to get constantly scared or constantly have something dramatic or in your face blood splurging I don't get that I think it's good for women to watch them because you get survival skills That is true You become more practical about things I know a lot of my friends are not practical Some of it is You watch an idiot on a horror movie act like you shouldn't act in a situation and you never ever want to do that again You never want to be like that girl Pick your movies wisely if you're going to go that case because you go original last I know how to seduce a guy and bite his dick off That's a useful skill though I don't like any women having that skill Every woman has that skill Sean Every woman has that skill I want them to forget about that Please I grew up with them My mom we watched unconventional things on different holidays I just love watching them It's a rush for me Although I do not like going through horror haunted events Those are horrible You've been with me on the haunted hayride and I was okay I don't enjoy it because I feel like I'm going to be attacked I'm not meek I want to kill people when they are pretending to kill me It's like the loss of control Is that what freaks you out? I don't like it For me personally I love to be scared because I think it's difficult to really do I like scaring other people I like the whole I like Halloween I like the whole genre thing I used to work on a haunted hayride I love that stuff When you can scare me or make me uncomfortable there's a real craft to that and an art to that I don't like gratuitously gory movies for the sake of gore I like horror movies I like horror movies where it's funny but I love horror suspense and to do it right is amazing Horror and before you kick me No I'm agreeing with you I'm about to say something weird Horror and rom coms have the same problem as genres There's a whole lot of them and most of them suck balls and that makes them stand out even more So a Halloween or for rom com and Annie Hall is worth 10 mediocre other genre movies to me What is the latest good horror movie that you guys would say had come out recently because I honestly can't even think of I'm going insidious Insidious yeah That was my favorite movie I have heard good things The whole movie I saw it with an audience and that was cool because everyone was freaking out and realizing as everyone is screaming and holding each other that the whole movie works on a level of stuff they've scared people with a hundred years ago It's just lighting, makeup and smoke The movie was made for under a million dollars and it grossed over 55 million Is that the one with the kid Yeah To me dream horror movies screw me anything with sleep anything with dreams maybe because I'm an insomniac and I have sleep paralysis and I walk in my sleep and stuff like that Sleep shit fucks me up What else do you do in your sleep A lot of things Last week we were talking about what cartoon universe would we want to be in and not be in and I was telling Frank this before we started the show Yesterday I don't know why but I caught like 5 minutes of Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors Oh yeah Nice! I don't want to be in it I don't want to be in it I would I would I would be in it It's good and it's bad I die in my sleep but I don't want that There's something very wrong with you Is that weird? I don't want that I would love to fight Freddy He would be like my best friend but then I look at his real life and Dr. Loomis' life would suck so I don't want that and if he was doing that well we forgot to mention cabin in the woods which was a great horror movie The thing is it's a satire It's like a love letter to the genre It's amazing It screams not satire though Scream is homage I think it's either satire or parody I would say it's a parody No it's not a parody It's technically classified as a parody But scary movie is a parody Scream is not a parody Scream is not classified by the filmmakers as a parody. I wouldn't even classify it as a parody. It has respect for what it's paying homage to. It's not making fun of it. It's trying to reinvent it. It's trying to bring it to a new audience. And Kevin Williamson said if it wasn't for Halloween and listening to the soundtrack while he wrote it, he would never have come up with anything. Yeah, and it's a love letter to the genre. And it totally restarted a whole new trend. Scary movie is a parody, but Scream is a love letter. I'm just enjoying the cockfight that's happening. People whipping their... It is pretty hot. Measuring it. It's really nice to have strapping men in the studio. I think if I had to... I'm not strapping, dude. You two are very strapping. I don't need to strap anything. I think if I had to live in a universe, I would live in Cabin in the Woods or Hellraiser. I'm just saying. This universe has a clown and I live in it. Make Stacey live in the universe of it. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. I hate you. Or Pet Sematary. Oh, my God. Okay, that's a good one. If you had to live in a horror movie, think logically about this. Because mine would be like some succubus movie. That's the way I'd want to go. Of course. Jennifer's body. Done. Jennifer's body. Silence of the Lambs because that's what the real world is like. If you like putting lotion on your skin. Wait, wait. Oh, she a great big fat person. She a great big fat person. Like any genre. It could be horror, suspense, thriller, anything. Like any kind of horror movie. This is a tough one. Cabin in the Woods. See, it's creepy because I think I would live in the psycho universe because... You love your mommy. Because I find Anthony Perkins. I find Norman Bates a little sexy. Creepy. Creepy, but sexy. That's not unusual. Sexy. So I'm like, I would live in that universe. Sure. I would just, I would avoid him. Like saw him walking down the street, turn the corner. But would you? Because you just said he was sexy. Yeah, that's the reason you're in the world. So I think you're in that world. So maybe you want to be a part of it. She has Stockholm Syndrome. Why don't you say, hey, let's meet up and let's kill some... I could be the mother. I would say, hey, take a night off. I'll play mommy. We just went there. You know, when I thought I went to live in the Hellraiser universe. Why are you guys surprised by this? My question is, what did you lead you to talking this? This would actually work because according to Psycho, the beginning, there is a whole incestuous weird thing going on with it. Yeah, of course. Like I'm super excited for their show. That's going to be all about it. I'm so excited. Oh yeah, Vera from Eagle. Oh, I cannot wait. I cannot wait. I live in the universe of Evil Dead 2. I just want to sing and dance. I'm going to have blood all over the place. That would be fun. That would be cool. That would be the best musical ever. Who's laughing now? That would be awesome. So shall we talk about the subject matter that you wanted to with Halloween? Yes. Since you made me watch it. No, I've decided we're not going to talk about this. We get sidetracked a lot. Yeah, we do. That happens. It happens. All right. So actually, since you haven't seen it, I think you're... Okay. So I watched Halloween 1 and I watched Halloween 2. Oh boy. How long? I'm bracing myself. I thought it was going to be quiet. I enjoyed Halloween 1 and fuck you. Ricky's never quiet. I am never quiet. I have an opinion on everything. Those two said they're going to be quiet, but they're never quiet. Lies. All lies. So I enjoyed Halloween 1. I thought it did tension well. I liked the handheld feeling of the camera. It was good. I enjoyed it. There were some campy moments. I can see why it is a classic. I have a couple issues in general with it, but I was okay with it. Even as a horror. It wasn't that bloody. It wasn't that gory, but it was still, it was scary. Some of the moments with the far away shots where you just see Mike Myers walking around the house. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. That sent shivers up my back. What are the issues that you have? So far you live. Yeah. So far you live. But what are the issues? You might not live. I do not like the premise, the feel of it. I don't like how many plot holes there are. It feels like things are missing to me while I was watching it. Come on, give it to me. Yeah. I can defend that. This is why I brought you on the show. I can defend that. I can defend almost anything you're going to throw at me. It's like all those little fuckers on the internet. Now, let me continue. With that said, I went on, saw number two, hated it. I thought it was horrible. I thought it was terrible. Well, wait. Before we talk about two, I want to hear what you have to say about one. Because apparently you were like, I got issues. No, I enjoyed the tension. I enjoyed the feel of it. I just didn't feel that the story was engaging. It's very straightforward. It's simplistic. It's very straightforward. It's very straightforward. I enjoyed the simplicity and I like that it just drops you into the scene. But it didn't get me interested in the story. It was more about, oh, look what's happening now. But you can't even appreciate something like that had never really been done before. No, no, no. I'm saying that I loved it. I thought it was a great movie, but- It was great. In fairness to you, actually, I will say you are seeing it where it's so built up as a classic, you're going into it. You didn't grow up with it. I went into it with a sense of, oh, this is going to be a great movie. I went into it with a fresh mind and I went into it not trying to hate it because of the hype. Right, right. And like I said, I enjoyed it. I thought it was a fine movie. Oh God, some of the deaths are just absurd. The first girl that gets choked in the car and her eyes cross and she presses against the window. I was like, no, shut the fuck up. Just no. I was happy she died. That's how people really die in real life. No, it's not. Maybe they do. I'm sure someone has crossed their eyes. She's like, I know. I have never crossed my eyes when I was dying. Okay. I enjoyed the fact that I thought it was wonderful and I loved the coat that his mother had when he was little. I thought it was cute and I liked the style of it. The coat? Yes. So gay. That's what we're talking about. Also, there's like 30 seconds of screen time, if that. As I was watching the movie, I kind of started realizing there's of course something really wrong with Michael Myers and I think it might be gay panic. I think he might be gay. Oh my God. I'm not a gay fan. Not everybody in the history of the world is gay. Totally putting your own words into the filmmakers. Always a gay undertone in everything. It had a very gay undertone. That's Nightmare on Elm Street 2. You're in the wrong. No, that's true. I'll give you that. No, with that said- Hey, hey, hey, what's happening here? John Carpenter's career made grave. I also really enjoyed that knitting needles were used to fight him off at some point. Of course. I like to knit, just putting that out there. Gay. Yes, very gay. So I didn't hate it. I thought it was- I guess that's the most we're getting out of him. He didn't hate it. I did not like the second one at all. I thought it was- Now why? Come on. It's like the first movie. It's like an extended version of the first movie. Because they did a very good job for a different filmmaker recreating the vibe of the first one. Carpenter wrote it. It's literally part two. I like the, honestly, the feel of it and the story was kind of fun. Some of the shots just bothered me and I didn't like that you could see his eyes through his mask parts of it. You could see that some shots in the first one though too. It was- I didn't notice it nearly as much. Also, some of the deaths in the second one were so absurd to me. So fucking absurd. I was like really- In fairness, they had to up the, they were forced to up a little bit of the gore. And that kind of bothered me that they were forced to up the gore. Come on. I enjoyed the tension that was built in the first one and I would have loved if they had kept that. You don't think it still had tension even with a little bit of gratuitous blood? It had its tension and it had its moments. But in all, I didn't like it. Yeah. I didn't like it. I felt that it climaxed too early. Okay. I don't want to hear that sentence. Always. That's great. Climaxing too early is the worst. I also, I didn't, I enjoyed the twist, of course. That was, I enjoyed it and it started making things make more sense to the first one, but I didn't care for the second one. Okay. That's fair. You should have seen H2O then because H2O are really round. I feel like- Yeah. Yeah. The Halloween- The Halloween are connected. I think they're perfect. I think four through six are- Four is good. Four is good. Four is good. I like only four. It's the best of the Loomis. Yeah. Loomis has the most to do in that on a screen. But as you're right, as a movie, one, two in H2O is fine. Four has the best ending ever. Four has the best ending. Four has a good ending. Exactly. That was that. Come on, 10 years later, it would be hard to like- Cisco. So, four takes place a few years after. Ten. Oh, okay. 10 years after. I haven't seen it in forever. It centers around Jamie Lloyd, the daughter of Laurie. Okay. She's left behind. Basically, Mike is after her, blah, blah, blah. Laurie died in a car accident. Okay. Yeah. Well, she faked her death. But what happens is at the very end, everyone is like, everyone's okay. Mike's dead. And then Jamie puts on a clown mask, just like Mike did. Goes upstairs while her mom is taking a shower, stabs her with- With a pair of scissors. With a pair of scissors. And then stands at the top of the stairs as Loomis is looking up at her and she's just breathing heavily. And Loomis is going, no. You're like, no. No. Best ending ever. Best ending ever. Okay. I will agree. And then it's playing the Halloween theme slowly. My interest is peaked in some of the tension scenes that they do. They do very well. They set up interesting shots and very interesting scenes. In general, just the violence just- But it had the last star fighter in it. I like violence. Nice. So, violence is fine. Violence is fine. I enjoy a good- I enjoy a good violence. I'm probably one of the few people that liked Halloween 6. Actually. I dug it, man. It's really dark. The curse? Yeah. It's got Paul Rudd in it. I've seen both versions. You and five other people in the world. I've seen both versions. There's a producer's cut. I mean, I'll watch it. Yeah. I've seen that. For those who are into the Halloween movies or really want to really delve into it, there's an interesting version that you can find online called the producer's cut of Halloween. Oh, I've heard of that. Yeah, I have it actually. And it's much better. I'm going to burn it for you. It's much better than the- Yeah. I'll say that one. Yeah. They basically finished filming and Dimension wasn't happy with it. And they said, well, they brought in another director, another writer, and they reshot maybe about 40% of the movie. Huh. Yeah. So you've got a completely different ending and stuff. Wow. There's two trailers. The original title was Halloween 6, The Origin of Michael Myers. And then when it was reshot and recut, it was The Curse of Michael Myers. I did find an interesting connection actually. The town that it takes place in, Haddonville. Haddonfield is actually named after my family. The Haddons are my mother's maiden name. That's the landing of, they based our home there when they first came here. Wait, wait, in New Jersey? It's in Illinois. No. No. Haddonfield, New Jersey. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say, Haddonfield, Illinois doesn't really exist. No, yeah, but they based it off of that. Yes. Debra Hill was from Haddonfield, New Jersey. More proof that you're the Antichrist. I am. There are all these weird connections that I- Were you born on June 6th? No, no, but my hair naturally goes into devil horns. It does. That's true. It's creepy. Okay, so speaking of violence, I'm sure this conversation is going to get very violent, especially with Sean. What are we talking about, Halloween? We're going to talk about the remakes. We barely touched on the originals. Do you want to continue to do that? Well, I'm just saying before we get to that crap, let's- Oh, this is exactly why I wanted to get to this point. No, it's okay. It's your podcast. You can go wherever you want to. I'm just saying, considering that you like- I actually like the remake. We can also discuss- What? Get out. I'm just kidding. Here's the thing. I have complex opinions about it. I have problems with it, but we'll talk about that when we get to that. I feel like that I'm in love with Nightmare on Elm Street, and that's the one that scares me. And so when Halloween came out, the remake, we had this conversation and you were like, it's the abomination and blah, blah, blah. I didn't see it for a year. My friends told me to just take a step away. You were so upset about it. Yeah. And then we got in this heated debate about it. And then as soon as the Nightmare on Elm Street trailer came out, I walked up to him and I said, I'm so sorry. I get what you're saying now. I cried. I literally cried when I saw the trailer. Now, as much as I understand, I'm also a Rob Zombie fan. Oh, I like Rob Zombie. Yeah. I like Rob Zombie. And I found it interesting, his take on it. But why not? I like Rob Zombie. He's got his own style. So why not do a movie that's a... You know, that he does his own origin story, a serial killer, something. He did. No, but he made a Rob Zombie movie and just tacked on the names from the Halloween series to me. You know what I mean? It was kind of neat to see everything updated. I didn't like the first chunk of Halloween where his family's all redneck and shit. And then... You mean like half the movie? No, no, no. That's just the beginning. That's like the first 20 minutes. It felt like the first 40. When he gets into the asylum, it's a little interesting. I didn't like a lot of the stuff. I didn't like what Flumis did. But then once he gets out, gets his mask on, he's back home, it was kind of cool to see everything kind of modernized. See, I have very specific opinions about this movie. Not just, oh, don't remake it because it's a classic. I can get more in depth than that. Well, please do, because I'll get in depth about Nightmare on Elm Street. There might be some reflections from Halloween that you agree with on Nightmare on Elm Street. First of all, you're taking a suspense film and you are making it a slasher film because Halloween is not a slasher film. Yeah, this is, yeah. So right there, I have a problem with that. You're kind of missing the point. Also, they take all of Michael's power away. In the original one, the ambiguity and the fact that he is an average sized person and he's just like the shape as they describe him in the script, it gives that all that more like, is there something supernatural going? They never quite like touch on it. He looked a little anorexic to me. And it was actually, by the way, it was actually Nick Cassidy. Oh, yeah. TheIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdIdId It doesn't have that average guy in the original Halloweens is like lifting somebody off the floor with one hand. And you're like, what the hell? And I get that. But when I saw it as a kid, looking at this kid doing stuff like that, like I always want to know why. No, but okay, here's the thing. So Halloween is supposed to leave you with a- With a why. It leaves you wanting more. And when you dissect and you take away the mystery, it takes away, I think, a lot of this creepiness and power. Here's my opinion on the original Halloween and why I understand that she, like the need to know why someone does something. That's just me. And I understand that, sure, maybe we should, like, he's a little kid, he's killing. We should feel a little upset, disturbed. We should feel- Yeah, that person was supposed to be uneasy. Yeah, the feeling of not knowing. It's the whole crux of- Of Loomis is that he can't figure it out. In those movies, you can figure it out. Here's my thing, though. I- My opinion has always been that Halloween opens with two deaths. Judith Myers and Michael Myers. Michael Myers, the boy, dies on Halloween 1963. But why? This is what I'm saying. Well, that's the mystery. That's the best part. That's what's scary about it. Go away right now. But I do want to say one thing that I usually- I talk to other people about it. We can't help the fact that it was- It got remade. It was going to happen sooner or later. And it will get remade again. I will say this. I will say this, and hopefully I get everyone to agree with this. What Rob Zonney did, although a lot of people don't agree, what he did was way better than what would have happened if Michael Bay got his hands on it. Yes. If Michael Bay got his hands on the remake, because he was trying to. He was. It would have been explosions. Explosions everywhere. Well, it would have been like the other ones. He did Nightmare on Elm Street, right? Produced that. And produced Texas Chainsaw. And Chainsaw. I want to talk about Nightmare on Elm Street real quick. Just real quick. Because I know we're going to bring that up. Touch it. Just touch it. Touch it. Okay. Grope it. Just the tip. Wow. Change you over. I'm opening my mouth. I'm going to say that for some reason. No, I was- Things got awkward. I actually wasn't a horror movie fan for a very long time because when I was five, my uncle showed me the original Nightmare on Elm Street. First horror film I ever saw, and I was terrified. I would not- I would only take showers. I would not take a bath because I was afraid of being drowned in my bathtub. I would not sleep with covers because I was afraid I was going to get strangled by my sheets. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. I was just really terrified as a kid, which is another reason probably why I'm a horror filmmaker is because I'm very timid. I'm actually really easy to scare. But I channel it so well that I know how to reflect it in a film. And also because it happens to- To have a sense of control. Yeah. Yeah. I get that. But no. So that movie has a very near and dear spot in my life and in my heart. Traumatic. Because- Yeah, it's traumatic, but it also opened the door to horror films. That was the first horror film I ever saw. Right. And so when I found out they were going to remake it, of course I was pissed, especially when Michael Bay's name was attached to it. I'm like, there's no way in hell I'm going to fucking pay for that. My friend got tickets to the premiere at the Chinese Theater. Oh, wow. And I was like, yes, I want to go because if I see Michael Bay, I'm going to tell him, fuck. I sold porn to him once. You're a piece of shit. I was ready to tell him. He doesn't know. He doesn't know that, by the way. As the movie starts and goes on and on and fails and fails and goes lower and lower, you know who worked on the movie because I'm sitting in the back of the theater and you see people start to slump. Oh. And their seats like, what did we do? That's rough. Here's my thinking. Not everything needs an origin story. Exactly. Not everything needs to be explained. It's already explained in Predator. It's already explained in Nightmare on Elm Street. You already know what the deal is, why this is going on. It doesn't need to be explained any further. Well, no, they didn't explain it any further. They explained it just as much, except for differently. And here's the problem I have with it. I don't need to feel bad for him. He's a pedophile. He's a pedophile. I don't need to feel bad for him. He's a douche. I didn't know that. Yeah, but if you're gonna... Yeah, he's a pedophile. But, you know, someone's faced with the problem of remaking something like that. And so I did at least, I just admire they tried to do a little bit of a twist where you're like, whoa, wait, am I supposed to re-examine? And then you're like, oh, no, no, no. No, no, no. We have Candyman to feel sorry for. We don't want to feel sorry for Freddy Krueger. Like, I don't. Like, he's a pedophile. We know he's a pedophile. And the other thing that they took away from him is Robert Englund is such a douche. And he loves that he's a douche. And he puts that quirky humor while he's killing you. It's like even more scary because he doesn't give a fuck. Take such delight. Well, also... He's so excited about killing you. His physical presence is bigger and more menacing than Jackie Earl Harry. I have this, like, meek mouse going on. I don't know if I've ever touched a boy before or a girl before. I'm just going to kill you maybe kind of a little bit. I like how he was Rorschach as well as... Rorschach, he rocked. Like, don't touch Freddy. He's a good actor. He rocks. But he's a very slight fellow, so I don't feel very scared by him. You could feel scared by a slight figure, but the way they made him sympathetic... Yeah, I think a leprechaun. ...took it away. I have a leprechaun. I ultimately thought that that movie failed, but I did like a few things about it. Number one, the ending was classic. Classic Elm Street was good. It was... I killed it. Of course. But, I mean, like, it was still, like... It was. ...the feel of it. And number two, the idea of micro-naps was really well done. That was cool. I thought that added... I agree. ...a lot of nice tension. And now... It was just cool to see. Now, here's my thing. You know, getting back to, like, the remake sort of betraying the whole genre that it is. You know, I'm not defending the Nightmare on Elm Street remake. Good, because I don't want to kill you. However, I will say it was at least of the same violent ilk of the original, whereas, just like the Halloween remake, Texas Chainsaw. Again, Texas Chainsaw is one of my favorite movies of all time, and for a very specific reason. You name... You mention that... That name, and people... Their first reaction is, oh, it's like one of the goriest horror movies ever made, and it's not at all. It's so brilliantly done. And so, what did they do when they remade it? They actually showed you everything. Yeah. Of course. The scariest, what makes Texas Chainsaw Massacre a real horror film is the last 20 minutes of the movie. Oh. When it's a descent into hell, because it's not the characters running around killing and doing something stupid. They're just being a family, and they're fucking insane. Yes. And then you're watching that, you're with her watching what she's seeing, it's like, oh my God. And that's a... They really got that documentary feel, that gritty feel. It feels like you're there. I always get lost. And then on top of it, to do, in real life, the filming, that's one where what happened to them in real life filming it was reflected, the misery. Because the guy... Wasn't it like a 72-hour day or something? Yeah, the last... There was a 48-hour shoot, or... No, it was a 24-hour shoot for the dinner table scene. And the guy, I can't remember the character's name now, the guy who cuts himself, the head cheese guy. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about, with the mark on his cheek. Anyway, he said... He actually... I used to have this interview with him, it was amazing. It was like old TV show that was like talking about... It was like a horror... One of the first horror awards. It was in the late 80s, early 90s. Anyway, and he had a great interview in there. And he said, I was in two tours of Vietnam in the mud, crawling around with people everywhere in the jungle, trying to kill me. And that was more pleasurable than the 24-hour shoot on Texas. Wow. He actually slit her finger too, that part. Like he cuts the finger. I met Marilyn Burns who played the woman. Oh, sweet. She's really sweet. And yeah, I was like, is it true that when you're being chased outside, when you get slashed, some of that blood was real? She was like, yeah. I was like, oh my God. Oh, wow. But no one wore a sweater better than her. I heard a... I heard a lot of people eating Zeppelin rice. An interview with the guy who played Leatherface. Oh, Gunnar Hansen. Yeah. Who said that it was going on for so long and he was so into his character, that by the end of it, he was actually thinking in his head, yeah, we're going to kill this bitch. We're just going to kill her. Yeah. Whoa. Like he was... That's just... He thought he was fucking Leatherface. And he never washed his shirt the entire shoot. So he was like all sweaty and smelled. By the way, not Texas Chainsaw, but we're totally giving away a good plot idea, which is you're making a film. And then they're just like, they're still out there making this film. That's true. That's true. Nobody's done that yet. That's great. You're welcome world. But I did enjoy the Texas Chainsaw remake a little bit. Because you're a girl crush. Because my girl crush is in it. Okay. I would turn lesbian for her in a second. Okay. I do. Jessica Biel. Oh, I think you're talking about the ginger. I'm like a ginger spot. Running through the forest. I was like, am I straight now? I don't know. Maybe I'm not anymore. Here's the thing too. I'm not a straight person. I'm not a straight person. What I noticed about for me, these remakes that I didn't like the second ones because they weren't such direct remakes. I gave a lot of slack and liked better. Like I liked Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 so much more. Did you? Yeah. Because it's its own story. Okay. It's his own movie. That's why I like it too. And then same with the origin stuff for Leatherface. It's kind of its own thing. So I don't mind it much. But that birth scene. Come on now. Oh God. That's disgusting. only like we already have Candyman to feel sorry for. There's one more person we could feel sorry for. Okay, who? Jason Voorhees. That's true. That's true. I do feel bad for him. I got another one that is really going to reach out there, but it's the first horror movie that I saw in the theater. I was way too young. My dad got in big trouble for taking me. I was like six or seven. And it's the first character that I had nightmares over and over about, but you technically could feel sorry for him. Captain Blake in the fog. John Carpenter. He's a leper and he has a ship full and they're going to start a leper colony and the townspeople get together and light a fake fire in the fog and make them crash on the rocks and steal their gold. They killed all of them because they didn't want a leper colony. That's true. Even though he's scary as shit, you feel sorry for him. Candyman, you feel sorry for him, but he's an annoying asshole because even though you feel sorry for him for being viciously murdered, he still goes around and kills innocent people for nothing to do with it. He did not go after everybody. Same thing with the fog. It's a great revenge story, but he's taking the six conspirators from the original townspeople. He's just taking six townspeople now because they might be related in some way. Candyman is even worse. He's just like, oh, you said my name. I'm going to kill you now. Thank you. But I do that all the time. I know. I know you do. It's like a thing. Whatever. Someone asked me recently, what do you think is the scariest horror movie character, icon, or whatever to come out in the last 20 years? I had two answers. I said, I think there's one for the general audience and there's one for me personally. That's good. What is it? For the general audiences, in the last 20 years, no characters had more effect than Tamara from The Ring. That got people. Nothing else has stood out. Not as much. Maybe second might be The Strangers, maybe. Oh, The Strangers. The masks and everything. For me, personally, in the last 20 years, the character that scared the fuck out of me was John Doe from Seven. Nothing scares me more than a regular person that's out of their mind. Yeah. He is super scary. And the thing about The Strangers that didn't get... It wasn't scary because the mask to me, the scariest thing was always in horror movies, it's like, you've gotten to daylight. We're okay. Oh, yeah. And it kept going. And that is when the shit happened. You thought, like, okay, they're in safety and they just fucking let loose. A beautiful morning in the countryside. A beautiful morning. Everybody's going on with their life and they just walk out like, great. Done with that. If The Strangers really scared you, there's something scarier that actually The Strangers is loosely based on. I know what you're going to say. It's a French horror film. Them. Awesome. I've seen them. It's amazing. And I wish it was named something else because people confuse it with the giant ant movie from the 50s. Oh, I've seen them. It's a fun movie. It's a really good movie. There's so many good French films. Can I throw out a recommendation that I've been telling everybody about? Them was one of them that I found on Netflix. Another one on Netflix that I was just browsing around and never heard of it. Irish film called The Eclipse. Now, there's Eclipse and then there's The Eclipse. It's an Irish film and it is amazingly done. It's this Irish playwright. It's his first film that he directed and wrote. And there's there's actors in there that you recognize. Aiden Quinn's one of the American actors you recognize, but the other actors that are Irish and English, you recognize this movie. I haven't seen a movie in a long time. And again, it's hard to scare me where it just constantly kept me. I couldn't find my footing. And when it when it would scare scare you rarely. I was off the couch. I got air like three or four times in this movie because it would make it would make you laugh and it would give you an actual lump in your throat. And then the next thing you know, it's carrying the shit out. Oh, so I highly recommend that. Have you guys seen Frontier? It's another French movie. Yeah. Well, the girl does everything you want her to do. Oh, man. She is a survivor. Like she never flipping pisses you off at all. She does what you're you're like what it takes to survive. And I love that. Oh, yes. OK, so we're getting to the portion of our show where we have our guests. Wait, one more name drop. High Tension. Go watch it. Oh, High Tension. Oh, and I watched. I was good to last five minutes. I unfortunately watched the American version of Let Me In yesterday. Romantic. Not scary. The Swedish version scared the crap out of me a little bit more. Just saying. Well, yeah. And it actually had the big twist that was important to, I don't know, the novel. Just saying. OK, so we'll have Mondo pick first. We're playing Marry, Fuck, Kill. All right. And they got three names? Yeah. OK. So let's see who you got. OK. And I have to marry one of these? Fuck one of these and kill one of these? And kill one of them. Yeah. Indeed you do. Wow. OK. Marry. If I were to marry one of these, I'd marry Chewbacca. Name them all off. Who'd you get? I got Chewbacca. Ooh. Zankif. Ooh. From Street Fighter. I would not mind that. And Nightcrawler. Ooh. Nightcrawler again. We had Nightcrawler last season. Nightcrawler is popular. So if I had to marry one of these, I'd marry Chewbacca because it's essentially like fucking a furry. He's a furry. I mean, I'm not into furries. I'll take a shot. I think he'd make you feel comfortable afterwards. He looks like a good father. I'm like, can you talk? Like fucking a teddy bear. But here's the problem with that. If you marry him, it's like the Star Wars Christmas album says, what do you get a Wookiee for Christmas if he already has a comb? Are you going to live on Earth or are you going to live on Kashyyyk? I don't know. Earth. I don't want to. I just pulled out a reference that was too obscure for me. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. It's not a dog. You know, but... Again, I'd fuck Nightcrawler because I'd want to teleport while fucking because I think it'd be interesting. It'd be fun. And I'd like to kill Zangief because, you know, it'd just feel cool. That guy that's much bigger and buffer than I am, I'm just kicking the shit out of him and, like, strangling him to death. Very good point. It'd be very empowering. Awesome. Okay. Now we'll get to Sean. Sean. Okay. Okay. I have Aquaman or Orin. I'm sorry. I have Jean Grey slash Marvel Girl slash Phoenix. I know. I got lucky on that one. And I have a Daryl book from Firefly. Oh. So now I have a very serious question. Can I... Is this a fuckless marriage? Can I fuck who I marry? You can... I mean, it gets caudry after a couple of years. So it's so... Really, it's more of, like, the emotional thing. Right. Okay. So, obviously, I'm going, well, yeah. Okay. So I know this now. I'm going to kill Aquaman because... Because he's Aquaman. Great choice. How is he going to help anyone? He's going to talk to the fish. He's super strong, but who gives a shit? Yeah. Like, I almost said marry because I'd like to live under the sea, but at the same time, I'm like, that guy's a douche. And sorry, Jim Burkhardt, if you're listening, it's his favorite superhero because he just likes to go against the grain. And I'm going to... You know what I'm going to do to Jean Grey. Yeah. And then Daryl book and marry because he's, you know, he's like a shaman. He's like, he would be such a positive, calming influence in your life. He's a good marriage you're going to have. Like, if you could, like, you know, hang out with Daryl book and Chewbacca, you would feel like all cozy and nice. I got him and I killed him. You leave my Chewie alone, man. You killed him? Yeah. You are horrible. Well, it only depends on who else your choices were, but why would you kill Daryl? I married the Terminator. I think I'm... I don't remember who... I don't remember. It's a different story. But I do remember I killed him because I just, like, I wanted to fuck the other one and marry the other one, so it was just the way it went. If it was... I will tell you that I'm too analytical because if I could... If I only could fuck Jean Grey once, then I'd marry her. If I could fuck her over and over, then I'd just fuck her. It might be a complicated I wouldn't fuck Jean Grey. I'd engage in coitus with Jean Grey. Coitus. Oh. Oh, so gentlemanly of you. Can we play a game make love, propose... No, I'm just kidding. No. That's too polite. Sweet love. Sex with her would be super intense because she'd totally get into your... into your head. Literally. That's what I'm saying about Professor X. Mind-fucking you. Come on. Wait, wait, wait. Guys, guys. She does not have a superpower. That's just a woman. Mind-fucking you. Ew. Touche. Should we get to our question? She could fuck you from, like, a thousand miles away. It's true. It's perfect. Oh, oh. But when she becomes Phoenix, it's a little... Yeah, once she becomes Phoenix, she becomes a dom. Yeah. Which is kind of sexy, too. I mean, not that I like to be gay. See, that would be like the perfect... It's a long-distance relationship. You know? That would work. That would work. You thought about cheating? You're over at Xavier's mansion. I'm in L.A. Works out? Let's fuck. Works out nicely. All right. Well, we have questions to ask for you. And for those of you listening who think that you know what questions we're talking about... They're different. Different. We are changing them up every month. Yeah. I'm a first-time listener, so I don't know... Me, too. I actually was told that if I want to be surprised, don't listen, so I didn't. I know, but we changed it. Yeah, we changed it. Oh, good. It's a double surprise. Oh, good. So I didn't have to listen and I get new questions. Ladies first, Frank. Oh, go ahead. Well, there has to be a lady in this room. Continue, Francis. All right. So I will start by asking Mondo this question. All right. Don't think about it. Just answer it. I don't like the look. I don't like the look. Are we all answering these new batches of questions again or just the guess? No. Just the guess. They lock the doors. All right. I'm stuck in here. Sex with Aquaman or Death by Firing Squad? Choose. Death by Firing Squad. Cool. Cool. Wow. Wow. Whoa. Wow. What about you, Sean? Poor Aquaman. No. Now I give him some man love now because I would want to live. Oh, so you're going to give it to him and you're not going to take it from him? Oh. You have to be the top. I am not taking anything. I'm giving. You have to be the top. That fish smell would never leave you. No, it would be permeate every pore. He's straight. It never leaves him anyway. I'm straight, so I know exactly. Oh, but... Oh, you guys are so slap. Just so you know, I slapped Frank and I can't read Sean. But I'm mentally slapping you for that. He's Jean Grey. It works out. It's just that. Okay, so my question is, if you had to be killed by any horror movie villain, who would it be and why? You want to take this one? Michael Myers because he is the king. Okay, so you would consider it an honor, basically? Yeah. Yeah. You know who I want to have dinner with and kind of want to hang out with, which is why it's so creepy? It's Hannibal Lecter. I was going to say, he'd cook for you. But here's the problem. He'd be delicious, too. He'd cook you for you. But here's the problem. If he kills you, it means he doesn't respect you. He thinks you're like a... A sycophant. Yeah, he thinks you're like a disrespectful person. So I would consider it a dishonor to be killed by Hannibal Lecter, but an honor to be killed by Michael Myers because he's badass. I want to die in my sleep, so Freddy Krueger. Ooh. Such a bad dad. You know, hopefully he's gentle. He gets sucked into a bed. I know. Freddy is known for his gentle killing. I know, right? He's so kind. But you would get a funny joke at the end of it. That's true. I'm in the point for now. So my awkward question is, are you registered to vote? Oh, that is an awkward question. Yeah. Yes, I am. Good. And you, Mondo? I don't want to talk about that. No, I'm kidding. What? No, no, no. I am registered. If you are not part of the system, you do not get to complain about the system. You are right. No, no, no. I didn't hear him complain, though. You are absolutely right. Yeah, I did complain once. I'm not the one with, you know, views. No. All right, all right. Rachel? Oh, my question? It's comparatively tame, I guess. 80s Anthony Michael Hall or present day Anthony Michael Hall? Oh, oh. Farmer Ted all the way. And Rusty, Farmer Ted. But you don't like him as like in Dead Zone or something? No. Not even in modern day. Oh, no. Now, like Dead Zone, yeah, but in modern day, I still like him a lot because he, thank God, he came back from that awkward bodybuilder phase where he was just terrible. He's back in it. I just saw a recent picture of him. Oh, no, he is. Oh. I just saw a recent picture of him. He's all neck and no shoulders. But like, honestly, I do not remember a person his age, an actor his age, that when he was in the 80s, that had such brilliant comic timing. Yeah. This is true. He has unbelievably, like, advanced, for his years. And I just miss that we kind of got robbed of that when he started to beef up and get all serious and stuff. I'm on the fence because Brian is a hero from, you know, Breakfast Club. But then again, he was also in The Dark Knight, and I'm a Batman fan. That's true. I know he does really get a lot of street cred. Yeah, he does a lot of street cred for being Batman. Yeah, I'll go with modern just because I want to be different. But I do like him. Yeah, no, he's great. I like him too. I'm a huge fan. That's the question. That's the question. Who is that? Who were we talking about a second ago? I don't know. He was in the Breakfast Club. I mean, he's such a... Don't be such a douche. He's talking shit. He's talking shit. Never mind. I know exactly. So, are you guys going to go see the... Since we're talking about Halloween, it's been re-released. Oh, yes. A couple of weeks. Yes, yes, yes. October 27th? 25th through the 31st. Well, we're probably all going to go together. Yeah, it's going to happen. It's going to happen. Totally. Since we're talking about that, I'm going to shameless plug in. No, no, please. You can talk. Shamelessly plug. I think you want to plug on the show. We're about to end. I did, for the 35th anniversary, halloweenmovies.com did a fan film contest for Halloween on the YouTube site. Entry's already closed, but I got some friends together, and we did make a Halloween fan film. Oh, sweet. I got to see this. For fun. I have it with me, so you guys will be the first to see it. Oh, that's awesome. I love that site. That's awesome. Yeah, it's going to... I don't know when they're putting them up, but they're going to be... I don't know when they're putting them up, but they're going to be... I don't know when they're putting them up, but they're putting them up soon. My biggest thing was I didn't want it... Like, all the masks out there are shitty. I'm like, if we can't get a good mask, I don't want to do it. Oh, you're a man after my own heart. After the 100th anniversary of Universal, they re-released... Screen Factory re-released Halloween 2 on Blu-ray. Universal teamed up with them and released a Halloween 2 replica mask. What? Now available for purchase, which we bought. A Dick Warlock? A Dick Warlock. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. anything you want to put oh god I didn't think about this I don't tweet talk about your Disney show actually yes if you have I'm an actor my day job is I'm a stand in on a Disney sitcom because you can tell by my likes and dislikes on this show that I'm really a Disney guy Disney sitcom called Austin and Allie so if you have kids, nephews, whatever have them watch the people on the show are actually lovely it's a cute show if you're in your 20s and you're Rachel also watch it I'll have no shame about it no shame about it and then also this is like old but what the hell it's something to plug I did for this universe it would be a good plug because Alison Hayslip is sort of a nerd goddess Alison's a good friend of mine and her and I did a show a couple years ago a web series called Trading Eights just go to tradingeights.com unfortunately we only did half of the actual storyline of the series it was actually for a good reason it started out where Alison agreed to do it she was good friends of ours and she was already pretty in the pop culture scene pretty known and on G4 and stuff but right in the middle of this series that we were doing she did get so busy and so popular and her career has taken off it's amazing it was a blessing in the beginning because we had a built in online audience and then it sort of died because she had to go away we didn't want to replace her we refused to replace her because she's awesome understandable well alright well it is the end of the episode but wait this is a two parter it is a two parter come back next week where I believe Sean will be coming back it's time to go back to work time Michael and if you're available too we would love to have you guys back on for part two where we will be discussing would you survive a horror movie and such things as that be sure to follow us on Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr and we're on Pinterest now what we're going to be putting some crazy shit man and I think we have an Instagram too oh we do have an Instagram follow that shit as well alright well this is awkward conversations thanks for keeping it off and here's a plug happy birthday Frank happy birthday Frank hey real quick how much does a hipster weigh on Instagram alright see you guys bye guys bye thank you have you seen that cheesy show on show forward conversation in 3-2-1 I'm sorry