Confessions, road rage, and 3D rant with Ken August

I have got so much, so much to worry about I am stepping up and never coming down I have got so much, so much to worry about Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome to Registered Ear Offenders. I am Sal Rodriguez. I am joined by Chris Z, the host of this show. How are you doing today, Chris? Damn fine, Sal. Damn fine. Good to be here. As always, good to be here with the listeners. Good to be here with my co-host, long-time compatriot, Sal Rodriguez. Well, thank you very much, Chris. Hey, remember, if you are listening to this show, we appreciate you and thank you for listening. Be sure to call 1-800-893-9562. That's 1-800-893-9562 to be a part of our show. Today, what's going on today, Chris? What are we doing? How are you doing? What's going on? Now, Chris dressed up today. Normally, he sometimes comes in in a tank top. Today, he looks like he's dressed for a job interview. I go through spells of depression, Sal. And when I am in those spells of depression, I dress like, you know, my alter ego, Jeremiah Arbogast. I don't think the listeners know him. One day, they will meet Jeremiah. Yeah, yeah, you know him. He does things like wear shoes with Velcro straps. For those of you who don't know Chris, normally dresses like a Floridian retiree. And he is from Florida, so he's actually preparing for his future. Like when the guys from Jackass played the old man, you know. That's how Chris normally dresses. Chris will wear Velcro orthopedic shoes with knee-high socks. That's what he'll wear, ladies. And this is a cause for celebration, Sal, because I just got my orthotics refurbished. Wow. Yeah, literally, these things make life livable for me. They're custom-crafted to fit my feet. And they allow me to do it all. Like you went in and they measured your feet and everything? Yeah, they literally made plaster casts of my feet. But every couple years, they wear out and I got to get them refurbished. And I will tell you what, it's always a defining moment in a relationship when your girlfriend sees them and goes, hey, what are those things? And you go, okay, well, either she's in it for the long haul or she's not. And we're about to find out which one. Well, let me tell you something. That's going to be related to our confessions today because we're going to be talking about confessions, possible amends also, which we've decided to. We've decided to intertwine our confession segment with our amends segment so that when you give your confession, you can then make amends if you choose to. So essentially, what I confess today will somehow be related to your orthopedic shoes. What? Okay. It'll be such a dark secret. And for those of you who have been following the show now, confessions is one of our recurring segments. And even I don't know what Sal's going to confess. We make it a point to kind of withhold certain facts from each other because we want to enjoy the experience and we want the experience to be as authentic and organic. And so I'm going to give you a little bit of an introduction and then we'll see what happens. Another one of our segments also is road rage. Now, although we're not, are not having that segment today, it's not on the bill today, but I got to share this with our listeners. You know, last week, I believe it was last week or the week before that, Chris shared how he road rages. He has a propensity to road rage and literally throw pennies at his fellow motorist. Well, let me tell you guys something. Okay. The other day, Chris and I are on our way to San Diego from Los Angeles to do a road gig, to do a gig in San Diego. And Chris, he's a road rager. He's a road rager. He's a road rager. Chris flips out on the freeway because some guy cut him off. He literally stopped. Are you hearing me? He stopped on the freeway, started to remove his seatbelt, started to reach for his pennies, and was about to engage in a fight on the freeway. I think our listeners are going to be so disappointed when they see me for the first time and see what a mild-mannered Clark Kent type I really am. You know, because after telling this story, they go, who is this maniac? How many, how many years, how many times has he been in and out of prison? No. But if you were to see Anderson Silva, let's say in a lineup of other tough guys, if you were to see Anderson Silva, you wouldn't necessarily pick him out as the toughest guy, and yet he is the toughest guy. Not only is it his look, like his face, but he's not very brawny. No, and he's not ripped. Some of these guys are going into the octagon, UFC octagon ripped. He's not the rippest guy. So, you know, looks can be deceiving. Let's just say this, though. I will never have Chris drive me anywhere again. He almost killed us. And then, you know, I think I brought him back to reality when he's like, that person endangered my safety. I was like, you're endangering mine right now. And then he kind of came back to earth, and then we proceeded on our way. But he literally was going to get us killed on the 5 Freeway South. I don't like to point fingers, Sal, but I think this just shows you that maybe I overestimated the depth of our friendship, because I assume that when we die, we're going to die together. And frankly, you've let me down with your lack of commitment. If we die, it'll be with me driving because of poor driving. I'll drive us off a cliff accidentally, but I'm not going to engage. I'm going to drive us off a bridge, potentially the same bridge that Tony Scott jumped off of. I think you're disappointing me, and even if they may not be aware of it, you're disappointing the listener, Sal, because there's one thing you forgot to reveal about the incident, how it ended. I forgot how it ended. How did it end? It turns out that the motorist in question was not of my gender. That's true. That's true. She was a chubby Latina with a poofy haircut, a cool hairstyle. She looked like the sports coach on Glee. You know, could easily be mistaken for a man, to my credit. It wasn't until I took a good hard look at her by sticking my head out the window that I realized, oh my God, this is a... Chris was about to assault a woman on the freeway, is what we're telling you. He was about... Well, I would have stopped him ahead of time, but at the very least, he would have thrown a penny at her. So the woman would have had Lincoln embedded into her forehead possibly. So Chris keeps a little attache of pennies to throw at people. I do. I separate the silver from the pennies because I can't afford to throw silver. Not yet. One day. One day you can throw silver. One day I'll be throwing gold doubloons down the goddamn highway. What are we doing on the show today? What does our wonderful audience have to expect from us today? We have another segment that we like doing a lot and it's a recurring segment. It's called When We Peaked. We've done it once or twice before. Sal and I reflect on our lives on some of the more memorable times. Generally, they're from youth. And unfortunately, they're not when we peaked on LSD. And I think it's scary how usually they're a good half a lifetime ago. It's not like yesterday or the last month. Five years ago when I peaked. We already mentioned Confessions slash Amends. We've got our guest on. Who is our guest today? Well, this is kind of cool, man. We've got an authentic screenwriter slash television writer and now current Skid Row radio host, Kenneth August. We call him Gus because we love him. If you hear us say the word Gus, we're referring to Ken for the layperson. Yeah, he goes by Gus. But anyway, that's what else we got. We got Sal's rant, of course, which is a one weekly staple we do here. And it's a very popular segment with the listeners. Yeah, but some of you movie lovers might not like my rant today because I'm going to bring Hollywood to task again, like I did before when I talked about the outsourcing of the actors. Exactly. Well, today, again, Hollywood will be brought to task again. That said, why don't we launch into when we peaked, Sal? You want to start us off with one? Oh, my gosh. Well, I'm going to have to say one of the times that I peaked. You know, when we peaked, we can refer to many times in our lives. It's when everything was going great for you, when you were hopeful, when you looked your best, when you felt your best, when the world was your oyster, so to speak. And for me, one of those times was when I would get together with my friend Tim Turner, who we called 357C. That was his graffiti name. The C was for his girlfriend, Carla. Who is now his wife. So myself, 357C, getting together in his apartment, we're both about, well, he's a little bit older. I was about 19. He was about 21 or 22. And we made rap tapes. We were rappers. First, we called ourselves Triple Threat. Then we called ourselves the Third Rail. Now, Triple Threat referred to the fact that we were actors, writers, and rappers. So not that there was three of us. Oh, and not that you were singers and dancers. No, we did not sing or dance. We would kind of bounce around. You know, mosh off each other, so to speak. But we made awesome tapes. We made demos. We would rap at parties. We would even go so far as to teach a make a home rap demo tape at the Learning Annex as well. So we were going to become teachers. What, you were going to, or you actually did that? Well, we had our names and the class syllabus on the Learning Annex pamphlet. We were ready to go. But for some, something happened, I think. Creative differences? Well, no, they lost funding. What eventually happened with us, unfortunately, is we did, I think, break up due to creative differences. Whereas he was trying to go into more of, I think, the gangster rap. And I was trying to go into more what would be called the conscious rap, you know, talking about, you know, lofty things or the consciousness or whatever. So we did have a creative differences. He went on to be in a mosh rock band, similar to Rage Against the Machine or Limp Bizkit. And then I went on and recorded a few songs myself that I produced on my own and made my own. And I was like, oh, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. And then I think eventually both of us stopped recording music, though, unfortunately. But when I was 19 years old, rapping with 357C, high as hell, that was one of my peak moments. That's great, man. I don't know. I think you might have me topped already. I was, I looked back on, I was about 19. No, sorry. I was about 20 at the time. I was dating a girl who went to the University of Miami. And it was an ideal arrangement because she was busy most of the time. I would see her on weekends. I could do whatever I wanted. I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I kept the relationship fresh. I lived at home. I paid no rent. And I worked at a nightclub in Fort Lauderdale, man. And I used to, I used to make what I thought was buku bucks. Wait, how old were you? I was about 20 to 21 or so. Okay. Well, you must've been 21 to work at a nightclub then, right? No, I, well, I started working there when I was 18 and it wasn't a nightclub at first. It was just a pool hall, but eventually they opened, they knocked down a wall and opened what became kind of a hip night spot, you know? And next thing I know, I'm making a living out of it. I'm making a money. I'm kind of like a doorman in one of those, you know, like a speakeasy or something. People are tipping me to cut the line and- You're a doorman, like protecting the door. Did you have, did you have a pocket full of pennies to throw at people if necessary? No, no. I had a pocket full of dollars, brother. And I tell you, I lived at home, man. So I didn't even pay any rent. You know, I was going to college at the time. So, I mean, I had the most easy existence. I had no idea that money wouldn't come that easy. I literally got to the point where I wouldn't make myself a sandwich. I would go out to eat every, if I got hungry, I would get in my car and drive to wherever I felt like eating. Because I had that much disposable income. And now I can tell you, man, that it's, life gets a lot harder as time passes. But- Well, what I'd like to say is, if your parents are listening, please take note that both times Chris has talked about when he peaked was when he was still living at home. So I would like to ask his parents to bring him back home. Bring this young man back home. Yeah, that's a good idea, Sal. I think it's, I want to change my life up a little. Start by moving back home. That'll really kick things off. Is there still a room for you back home? There is still a spare bedroom that I think my parents use it when the grandkids come to visit. Very nice. So you've got a spare bedroom. Does your brother also have a spare bedroom as well? No, no, no. Now my mother sleeps in a separate bedroom. So there's four bedrooms. One of them- Wow. This is like mom confessions now. This is, yeah, one of them is my dad. And I love this. My dad kind of turned it into his studio for his collectibles and his musical instruments, which is- He doesn't really devote any time to, but he just seems to enjoy collecting or possessing things, you know? Like he doesn't even really play chess, but last time he came up and visited, we were looking at a Civil War chess set and I was, I was literally floored that he was considering spending like 150 bucks on buying it, you know? But again, not, not to play it, just to, just to have it just because it was a, you know, a work of art, you know? What else does he collect besides Civil War chess sets? I don't want to, I don't want to say figures or figurines, but things that are unique, that are unique, that are unique. He appreciates, you know, and he's, he's well traveled. And I do remember many, many years ago, my mother was appalled because he came home. I think he went to a Soviet Union or Germany or something. He came back with a pair of authentic Nazi boots. Wow. Yeah. And I mean, I thought that's incredible. It's a historical treasure, but my mom thought, you know, why on earth would you want to possess that? It's, you know, it's not like you're a museum. That makes sense. Yeah. But I can kind of see it. I'm kind of the same way, you know? Like when I travel places, I don't buy the usual garbage, you know, postcards and t-shirts, you know? And nonsense like that. Like I always look for like, Ooh, you know, a dagger that the locals use, you know? That's, that's what I want. I have to actually counteract that because when we did a comedy tour and we, Chris and I had the pleasure of performing for our troops overseas. And on one trip we went to Kyrgyzstan and in Kyrgyzstan, he bought one of the funny local tribal hats. A cowpeck. What was it? Cowpeck. You remember that? That was the name of the hat. Right. And it's not something, it was something that if I wore it in public now, I would likely be, you know, be followed by the police. Well, no, it looks like something that you wear on Mardi Gras or a carnival or something like that. Yeah. It's high, it's pointy, it's triangular. And it has kind of a, I don't know if LeMay's the right word. It almost looks like it's been bedazzled. But yeah. And he actually wore it on stage, I think. On one of the shows at the bases, he wore the hat when he went up on stage. And I still regret the fact, Sal, that I didn't buy the full outfit. Remember they sold a full trench coat? Yes. And the shoes, I think. Exactly like something Vlad the Impaler would have worn. Wait, now that I think about it, I bought the slippers. I bought pointy slippers, Kyrgyz. I bought Kyrgyz slippers. You bought a Kyrgyz hat. Yeah. Yeah. But I had my eye on that trench coat, man. It was just too expensive though. I mean, they were paying us pennies to be there. Yes. But maybe next time around. But that was a beautiful place, Kyrgyzstan. Most people never even heard of it. But it was a real eye-opening experience as a, you know, formerly Soviet occupied. And it's really unique because there's many people there that look, you know, that look like Chinese, kind of Asian, beautiful women, but they speak with a heavy Russian accent. It's a real mind fuck, man. You see guys who kind of look like The Rock, sort of, and then they're speaking in Russian. Yeah, that is interesting to see. Or their bodies, like their physicalities look kind of, you know, like more Anglo, but then they have Chinese type eyes. Yes. And I wasn't implying that physically they look like The Rock. I mean, no. Few people look like The Rock in whatever nation you're in. But no, that's what they look like. It is interesting to see that. We're going to get into our next segment now. And this is confessions. And I've got a doozy here. In fact, I'm very hesitant to confess this next thing. So I'm going to have Chris lead off the confession segment. And also remember, amends. So you have the opportunity after you confess to make amends if you wish. All right. Here's what's up. When I was, my God, maybe 11 years old, I was tooling around the mall with my brother and a couple of his friends. I don't remember all of them, but I remember James Strait was one of them. And I don't even know how this came to be, but we got near the cassette aisle because it was that long ago. You know, CDs probably hadn't even hit the market yet. And somehow these boneheads got it in their heads that you could steal things as long as they weren't wrapped. Once they were out of the package, you see they were no good anyway. So you couldn't be convicted of stealing something that's no good anyway. Yeah. Isn't that the law? No, that's actually, as it turns out, that is not correct. So of course, you know, them being nearly four years older than me, you know, I followed their tutelage. And we began unwrapping, you know, these cassette tapes and stuffing them down our pants. Now what cassette tapes are we talking about? We're talking like Kenny Rogers. No, no, blank cassette tapes. Oh, blank cassette tapes. There may have been some, but as I remember it, they were blank. So there's, you know, even back then there was security cameras though. And, you know, we were apprehensive. Yeah. We were apprehended leaving the store. And they took us back to a special little room, you know. And, you know, me being 11 years old, I didn't realize that these, you know, they were, these people were probably non-trained security personnel, you know. Did they do what the McDonald's, what they did in McDonald's with that girl and make you strip your clothes and jump around? No, no, no. We, I mean, we gave it up quickly. And in fact, this is kind of funny because when they were marching us back to the secret room, we had to walk kind of out the front doors and kind of follow along the building to this little room. And as we were passing some potted plants, I go, if I can just drop back just for a second, I can ditch this merchandise. And the second I started to drop back, I remember the guy going, keep up, keep up, son. I was like, damn, I'm ruined. Wait, how many kids were there? It was me, my brother, a guy named James, and I believe there was one other guy, but I think he didn't participate. So he was able to just kind of walk away from it. I think like he had enough good sense. He may not have known the technicalities of the law, but he knew enough to know, you know, I don't want any part of this nonsense. So it ended up just being the three of us and thing. And they, I don't know how they got a hold of my mother. Maybe, you know, I think she had driven us there. I think she was, you know, shopping for whatever woman stuff. And somehow they got a hold of her, they brought her in and I was in tears. I mean, I thought this was the end of my life. I thought, you know, who knows how long this conviction will follow me around? How long, how many years will I spend in jail? And yeah, and then... You're going to the big house, kids, for a max sale. And my mother, God bless her, is one of those women. Yeah. One of those women who, you know, like the way a mother should be, you know what I mean? Where she thinks pot and acid are the same thing, you know, that kind of mother. So for her, I think she was equally as devastated, not just in the lack of character I displayed that day, but she was also worried about it. And it turned out to be not a whole lot. I mean, they did press charges. So we did have to see an arbitrator and, you know, explain the situation to them. And it ended up with them destroying the records when we turned 18. But it was your first offense. It was my first offense. And I believe my only offense before I turned 18. I did have a run or two with the law since then. But I remember, I think she was in tears as well. And I asked her if she could ever trust me again. And she said, I don't know. And I think she meant it. I don't think she was trying to teach me a lesson. I think she was that genuinely wounded, you know, that this son that she raised and did such a good job raising would, again, display such a brazen deficiency of character. But really, you know, I... I blame my brother. And this came up the other day. You know, you asked me something about it. He was four years older than me. He led by example. What the hell did an 11-year-old kid know? But my mother's listening. And that's not likely because this would require her to learn how to work the computer to listen to our show. I would like to say I'm sorry. So you are saying you're sorry to your mother or to the store? Well, I guess to the store, sure. But mostly to my mother, yeah. Wow. You just made amends with his mother. That's very nice. And, you know, I got to piggyback on that, though, since we've mentioned your mother and your parents a couple of times. And you... And earlier on in the show, we mentioned that you had to second-guess our friendship because I'm not willing to die with you in the car. But you know what? I have to second-guess our friendship because I was... When you... When your parents come to town, I thought you and I had the kind of friendship where I get to meet the parents. I thought... I thought we were at a point in our relationship where I get to meet your parents. But, no, your parents came to town and I did not get to meet your parents. Sal, again, you've underestimated our friendship. Our friendship is so near and dear to me that I chose not to introduce you to my parents. Well, I wish I could have said the same to you. You've had the pleasure of meeting my mother. And I should have done the same thing. I should have held back. Sal's mother is one of those people who is a genuine... Like a living sitcom character. It's hard to believe that it's not an act, that this is a real person. And you can't help but wonder how she behaves in other arenas. You know what I mean? Are people equally as mystified as I am? Well, you know what? I think, actually, now that I think about it, my mother would make for good radio. So maybe she's going to be a guest one day espousing some of her beliefs, some anti-communist beliefs. Yes, people who are godless. My mother's gotten more conservative over the years. She used to be a hippie. I don't know if she was a hippie, but she used to have a lot of sex and do a lot of drugs. I don't know if that made her a hippie automatically. But now she's gotten more conservative. So maybe one day we can have her on the show and challenge her. It is funny when you meet people like that who are... In their day, they were progressive. But it's almost like they draw... It's almost like they draw the line at what they feel is right. I mean, they're progressive and they took social convention to another level, but they feel it should stop there. Yes, it's over. Now that they've moved on with their lives, so everybody needs to straighten out now. My confession is something that I really struggled with because it is a confession that a lot of people don't know. And I'm going to be... Here's my confession. As an actor, I have had these moments when the camera is behind me. The camera catches the back of my head. I looked at several videos and films and realized I have a substantial bald spot. In fact, one time I did a comedy show in Japan at one of the military bases on Okinawa Island. And we had a great show. After the show, somebody comes up to me and says, Hey, great show, man. Great comedian. But do you know you have a big bald spot in the back of your head? Oh. That's what he told me. Who is this prick? Yeah, he was a prick. We need to start a new segment today called, Who is this prick? It should be. And you know what? Our military are heroes except for that guy. Except for that guy. So basically, I looked at these videos. I would look in the mirror. And finally, I decided to get myself a hair replacement system. Therefore, my confession to you today, dear listener, something that I will never say again, is that Sal Rodriguez wears a hair replacement system, also known as a... Hair system? No, known as a toupee. Okay. No, no, no. That's not fair to you, Sal. You're selling yourself short. Sal does not wear one of those toupees that isn't the same color as the rest of his hair and isn't the same consistency. He's got a goddamn work of art on his head. I mean, this thing is like, it's human hair. Correct me if I'm wrong. It is human hair from India, I believe. It's put on his head. His head gets washed. He doesn't wash it. A woman washes his head and they adhere the thing to his... And I've seen that. I've come in his bathroom and I've been frightened at times. I was like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, what's going on? I mistook it for a spider. They glue it to his head. And I'm telling you, man, you won't even... And it shaves three years off as a parent. Three? That's all? Yeah, four. Four. Don't say to him it's four. I want five years. Tell him how much you spent on it. Well, originally I went to Hair Club for Men. Don't go to them. They're good, but they're very expensive. Now I go to a guy in Woodland Hills, Deja Vu Hair Salon in Woodland Hills. And they... But originally I paid $2,000, which is a rip off. You shouldn't pay more than $500 for a hair replacement system, depending on the size of it. Tell him the part about how the woman wanted to upsell you. Well, she wanted to upsell me to hair plugs is what she did. She wanted to give me hair plugs, which were $10,000. No, no, but you were telling me that the size, she wanted to sell you a piece that was bigger than the one you actually needed. What I have is sort of a yarmulke size. If I were Jewish, I would just wear a yarmulke and be done with it. So I wear a yarmulke size hair piece that's at my crown of glory. And she wanted to encourage me to get a larger... So in other words, shave more good hair off to get a larger system, which would've been $5,000. Why would anyone sacrifice the hair they have? Yeah, exactly. Shave off my good hair to put fake hair on. Anyway, that is my confession. And my amends, who do I have amends to? Maybe my girlfriend. Because she has to wake up in the morning and see my hair system laying by the sink. I think sometimes the cat has knocked it over. You can tell... You know, you can... If I didn't know... From being... I mean, I'm good friends with Sal. I could guess how long he's been dating his girlfriend simply by the degree of openness. Also the degree of weight that we've gained together. Also you can guess by that. The lack of cleanliness of the bathroom. These are all things that only come with time in a committed monogamous relationship. Leaving your hair system laying around, or in some cases, putting it on top of your piggy bank is one of the places I've seen it where there's literally a little piggy and Sal will rest the hair piece on the piggy's head. Well, that's an old hair system because I'm up to about my sixth or seventh hair system now. So those are some old ones. That's where hair systems go to die, is on top of the piggy bank. And then the piggy has a hair system on them. If the relationship were less than six months old, that hair would be in a lockbox, tucked under the bathroom sink, clearly labeled as something else. I totally get it, man. So I wanted to share that with our listeners. We're going to bring in our guest, our very special guest, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Ken August. Let me get his intro here. I got it. He's a writer. He's a director. He's a regular guest every Saturday on the comedy show Bad Advice, as well as the host of the news and opinion show, The Weekly Wrap Up, every Saturday at four o'clock Pacific time right here on Skid Row Studios. Ladies and gentlemen, Ken, Gus August. How the hell are you, Gus? Happy to be here, guys. Happy to be here. Gus, you look surprisingly sober today. I know. There's no beer. There's nothing to smoke. What the hell did I get up early for? I'm concerned. I'm worried about your well-being. Are you? I'm surprised I'm conscious, to be honest with you right now. I also want to know, Sal, when this is over, if I can grab a phone number for hair, that would be fantastic. Right now, this hat with the hair pre-attached is not working. That's all fake hair coming out of the hat there. You should see me swim, by the way. Gus actually tried to pass off one of those reggae hats with the dreads attached. Well, there goes that secret. Thanks, buddy. Ken, you're originally from New York. Where specifically in New York are you from? Long Island. Long Island, which was great to grow up in. But now it's basically closed down strip malls. So it gets a little boring, but family, when I go back there, is mostly in Manhattan, which is where I'll stay. But Long Island to Ohio for college, and then out to San Diego briefly. Realized how bored I was going to get in San Diego and went up to LA and started working in the film business. Why were you bored in San Diego? We were just there the other day, I think. Every time I go to San Diego, I'm there thinking I'm going to have a good time. It's beautiful. Why didn't you like San Diego? How long were you there for? Well, I'm usually there just for a weekend at a time. We were there for 24 hours. Exactly. So once you go to the same bar three times, you go, all right, well, that was fun. I moved there with a buddy of mine. We moved cross country. And then you end up going down to Pacific Beach and going to the same three bars. And if you're not in college and you don't have certain connections when you go into a bar and you're like, hey, we're looking to make friends, people kind of back the hell away. For those of the listeners who have recognized Gus's voice, let's... Oh, shut up there. Okay. I think you mentioned briefly that Gus hosts the weekly wrap up every Sunday at 4 PM, right? I think we're going to get ready to play the clip. 4 PM, right, Sam? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great show. And basically, it's funny because there's so many things to talk about. I mentioned this to Sal on the way up in the car. You might need an extra hour this week because this has been the craziest, most eventful week in recent memory. I would really appreciate it if when shit happens in the news, if it could happen early, early in the week, so I have time to plan for it. Turns out every time I plan for something in advance, start doing my research, in the last 48 hours, somebody will shoot somebody else. Yep. So, you've got the shooting. You have the baby hippopotamus in South Africa who fell in a swimming pool, couldn't be rescued in time. Lance Armstrong stripped of his medals in... I'm going to rag on Drew for that, obviously, because he looks too much like Lance Armstrong. It's tough when you go from looking just like the seven-time winner of the Tour de France to looking like a drug addict. But I like how Chris mentions the hippopotamus and Lance Armstrong because those are at the same level, really. I will tell you... With the shooting, by the way. The shooting is in that. The shootings have become so ubiquitous in our society that I literally looked at the story and asked myself if I have time to read it. You know, I go, do I have time to even investigate this? Because that baby hippo was cute. Well, that... You also look and you say, how many people were actually shot? Because if it was only one guy shot, then why did this make the list of shootings that we talk about? The way we treat handgun violence in this country or the way we refuse to address it more accurately... I have a feeling that maybe two years from now, you'll just be like, what a pussy. Like, you know, you got wounded. Come on. Don't even waste my time. Why do you put this in the news? I got Brad Pitt to read up on, you know, catch up on. If things happen too late, I get confused and I end up talking about the guy who shot a hippopotamus in a pool. Hey, guys, let me... I'm gonna tell all these stories at once. Let's play a clip from Ken's show, The Weekly Wrap Up. Welcome to Skid Row Studios. Skid Row Studios in downtown Los Angeles. This is The Weekly Wrap Up, where we get you caught up on the week's biggest stories. I'm your host, Ken August. USA! USA! USA! USA! I can play that exact clip and then ask you whether or not you can tell if that's the death of Osama bin Laden or the 1980 US Olympic hockey game. I was gonna say either that or Hulk Hogan. It's another horrible shooting. Our hearts go out to the victims. We're still learning more. Maybe we'll have a moment of silence to represent the gun control debate. That won't happen. Talk about the Olympics a little bit. Yeah, but at least we know what Phelps does. This guy wins medals. 18 golds. He finished with his last gold. Now for me, I'm too stupid to know when we get to swimming or any sort of racing and they give me the meters. It's like what I need somebody to do is forget the meters and tell me about... Yeah, tell me about how long it is. Be like, well, you know what this race is about from here to the Ralphs. Okay, great. Now I know how far it is. And speaking of doctors, a Florida surgeon and retired professor of gynecology who now practices cosmetic gynecology. Yeah. Seems like a strange place for makeup. Reports that he found the G spot in an 83 year old Polish woman. So she had it. So she had it. That's where it was. He told MSNBC... Was he off the clock? She was off the clock. She was dead. Other doctors are saying she's 83 year old woman, 30 years past menopause. So gross. If you guys are like me and you drop a lot of cash, you bet a lot of cash on the spelling bee every year, I am hoping you did what I did and put all your money on Snigdina. Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... Snigdina... 7 o'clock Eastern, 4 o'clock Pacific time at skidrowstudios.com. You know what that clip tells me, Sal? What's that? I need to do a lot less laughing and a lot more contributing. That was you laughing in the background. I had like 40 minutes of just laughing. And I was like, maybe I should put some words in this. I don't know. Ken, how do you choose what stories? I mean, you go online every day. You see all the stories. How do you choose which stories you want to cover? Well, it started off by constantly going, you know, just constantly going online, constantly watching the news, constantly talking to people and finding out what stories are important to them. More and more people are going to the weekly wrap-up Facebook page, which I would love for people to do, and not only like it, but then write in what you want us to talk about that week, what stories are important to you. And that's where we get a lot of the stories. Quite often, if there's a big story that we can have some sort of debate or discussion about, you know, we'll move that up towards the big topics as opposed to the headlines. There's headlines where there's only so much, you know, I mean, when you get more information on the Colorado shooter and the information is just, hey, he showed up in court today, there's not a lot to discuss. So, you know, we'll put that towards, you know, we'll fill people in on important but quick stories late in the show. But for the most part, whatever people were talking about that week, that's what we go for. Now, Gus, I know that public service isn't the main objective of your show, but are you going to take a moment to define legitimate rape this Sunday? I think a lot of people are confused, myself included. Yes, that will be a large topic. That and basically every Republican that was trying to back away from it now, although what I find funny is as I'm writing the story about all these Republicans backing away and calling for that guy to, who said, talked about legitimate rape. Akin. Yes, Todd Akin. They were asking for him to step out of the race, to quit. And now he's getting a lot of conservatives are backing him up. They're all saying, whoa, hey, why are you throwing him under the bus? You're like, well. Because he's a douche. But apparently, you know, apparently saying what a lot of these people believe. And, you know, a lot of old school Republicans are saying that we're going to lose the race, get him out. And a lot of conservatives are saying, but I believe what he said. So why are you throwing him under the bus? They do. There's a hilarious meme going around Facebook that has a, it has a, you know, like a graphic illustration of a woman's reproductive system. It hasn't labeled as what conservatives believe it is. You know, one is just, ew. It's just an E-W-W-W. I believe the anus. The anus is ew. Yeah. Well, depending on if they've bathed or not, it can be ew or ah. Baby maker and the soul. Well, I didn't know until recently that apparently there is a vaginal emergency off switch. No. That can be used in case of rape, break the glass and you're fine. I had no idea until now. I will say this, though, and I'm not defending Akin. He won American Idol or was second place American Idol. He did. Not a lot of people have made that connection. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not defending him, but I have heard years ago, I have heard that during stress, a woman's body can counteract reproduction. I've heard that. I've never voiced it as a politician, but I have heard that. So are we now as a, as a society now say or believe that is just an urban legend that is not true, right? You can take the word now out of that sentence. Nobody ever really believed that just because you heard it doesn't necessarily. I heard it in the sixth grade, I think on a schoolyard or something. Yeah, no, no. Um, I think what they're getting confused is a woman. Being. Being. Being repulsed and, and crossing her legs. That I think is slightly different than I'm getting raped. So my body won't allow me to get pregnant. I believe there's somewhere around 32,000 pregnancies a year from rape. So. From legitimate rape. From whatever the hell that means. Yes. So apparently these women, I think now the vaginal switch, the off switch, I believe is now a common with new models, but I believe it was just an option with the old models. And now they, you know, more people are going to try to use that. Got it. And the new. New models have MP3 players and all that. Yes. I have to agree with him to some degree, Sal, because it's, it's incumbent upon women. If they're the ones who are going to ask to be raped in the first place by wearing short skirts and whatnot. Yes, of course. Then aren't they obligated to exercise some kind of, um, pregnancy prevention techniques such as jumping up and down. Walk it off. Yeah. Pregnancy prevention techniques. It sounds like something you would teach at a seminar. Hey, so, so tell us, Ken, how did you get started? Uh, from, from, from a screenwriting background, from a television writing background. Uh, tell us about the inception of the weekly wrap up. Uh, that's interesting. Actually, I was, uh, I got a call from somebody who was in Keith Coogan, who also does a radio show, uh, called the, called, uh, the call sheet. Right. Yeah. And, uh, I had worked with him on multiple occasions on different films, uh, from as an assistant director to a writer and director. Uh, Keith was in a movie I wrote and directed called or forever hold your peace. And, uh, we had been friends since then. And he was getting ready to start a show and called me and said, Hey, uh, I'm going to start this radio show called the call sheet. And I don't know if I can talk for an hour straight. So, uh, how do you feel about coming on and telling some stories? So my first question was, is it a live audience? If it's a live audience, I'm probably not going to make it. And he went, no, no, it's not a live audience. I said, yes, I'll be there. And, uh, and that from there, it became a, we did that for a while. And then, uh, we decided to do it. We decided the station could use, uh, a news program, a weekly news program. And so I started doing that. And you know what? I got to say, I was very surprised because the first time I met you, Ken, I thought you were a standup comedian. I had to be told you weren't a standup comedian because he's so funny and quick witted. I just assumed and thought you were, especially since you were in a room full of standup comedians. I thought you were just one of them or one of us. Uh, I, you know what? Uh, that is actually quite a compliment because, uh, I enjoy when I show up for, uh, that show for bad advice every Saturday. I'm surrounded by comedians. I'm surrounded by comedians and love it. It's, it is, you guys crack me up so much and compared to the weekly wrap up, which has a lot of jokes, but you're also talking about a lot of serious topics. So although Drew's not afraid of a couple of death jokes on occasion, still, it's somewhat of a downer, but, uh, sometimes some of the stories that you have to talk about, whereas bad advice, it's just no holds barred, which is enjoyable. And so for me, I have a great time and I've written monologue and I've written comedy, but the idea of standing up in front of a live audience and doing it, uh, I would probably have to wear a diaper. I will, I will, uh, confess that I don't listen to every show on our network, but I do make it a point to, uh, to catch the weekly wrap up, uh, if not live to go back and download it off the website. Um, but one thing I've, I've sung, uh, Gus's praises before because he's incredibly, uh, well-rounded, well-informed individual. I mean, he always has fat. Is that what that was? Let's be honest. Somebody has to point it out. Uh, you know, he always seems to have a, uh, you know, cogent, informed opinion on every subject he discusses. It's not just some, some D bag kind of, you know, uh, throwing out an ill-formed opinion or rehashing, you know, what Rush Limbaugh, uh, you know, said the night before or something. And it, it's an enjoyable, I mean, you will, you will get something out of listening to the program. Uh, is that simply because you've been unemployed for so long that you read, read, read, read? Um, I'm so disgusted with so much shit going on in politics. So it's hard to not listen to a story, question that story, get five more sources for that story. And then question. No sources as well. I mean, the fact is, is, and I don't want, this may end up, you may end up ranting about this later on, but it nowadays, if you listen to news and, and the weekly wrap up is news opinion. Don't get me wrong. Um, but if you listen to news now, there is, it is so one-sided no matter which side you're on. It's one side. It is MSNBC is spends most of their time. Well, let me just start with Fox. Fox spends most of their time blaming Obama for everything. MSNBC blame. It spends all their time finding mistakes, Republicans made or lies. And then they go over that. CNN finds people that tweet. I don't know what the hell. Um, but for the most part, nobody learns anything. They already have their opinion and then they tune in a station that tells them what they already want to hear. Um, so for me, you know, we'll all have an opinion on the show, but there should be some sort of, some sort of bipartisan group that tells you what stories are actual stories. And. Then at least both stations can put their spin on it. But I mean, if you listen to one station, you turn on the other one, they're not even talking about that. Yeah. Really? The only, uh, the only news source I can think of that fits that criteria is called the guardian out of the UK. I think I've heard of the guardian, but you know what? I'll tell you everybody I know who listens to news, either listens to MSNBC and CNN or Fox exclusively. I don't know anybody who listens to both, both networks. You're looking at, you're looking at them and I'm looking at them right here now. Now, do you try to hide your political leanings on the air or are you pretty direct and forthright about where you personally stand, uh, on the political issues? Well, I don't, I don't think I hide anything, unfortunately. Um, but, uh, or fortunately, depending on, I guess, which way you lean, I definitely lean left. However, unlike other people, and this is not just politically, um, I just, because I lean one way does not mean I trust that side. Politicians are politicians. At the end of the day, that's correct. Yeah. And so, I mean, even if somebody, let's take an ideal fake candidate who probably doesn't exist and say, this guy wants to get in it for all the right reasons. Well, even if that's the case, he still has to scratch this guy's back to get his vote. He has to do something for this guy to get his vote. You're not going to get anything done if you don't start going into bed and shaking hands with people that you wouldn't normally do that with. Yeah. And pork barrel projects are not a partisan specific super PACs are not partisan specific to be. It's just, you know, I know this, uh, this sounds overly simplistic, but there's a great movie. I think late seventies called fist with Sylvester Stallone. Don't they do that on one of the radio shows here? I was going to say that happened right before the weekly wrap up as well. Uh, and it shows, you know, his ascent, uh, from, you know, average everyday blue collar worker to kind of a union leader with some political influence or whatever. And, uh, it basically shows along the way how he, the only way he can progress to the next level is by, you know, taking a small bribe here, making a small concession here. And, uh, you know, you don't, you don't get to the top without having, you know, you don't have any, you know, skeletons in your closet. You know, you, you, you can't make a million dollars without making an enemy or a friend. But is this, is this historical? Is this how George Washington was elected? Is this how, uh, Abraham Lincoln was elected? Is this how it's always been? I believe so. I mean, what do we have? Uh, who's that president who actually shot a man? Uh, I think it was on the white house lawn. Yeah. Yeah. There was a duel at one point. He used to do that on occasion. I think we should bring that back. That would be nice. Yeah. I mean, we have, we have, my guess is that if we, if we had, uh, the resources now, you know, the news resources, video cameras, things like that, we would find that politics were dirtier back then when there, when there was no way to fact check anything. There was no political factor. You see, and I wonder, I've often wondered whether how true that is in the aspect of, I'm sure there was always two sides arguing. And when I was younger and more naive, you want to assume that, all right, but the people in charge, at least when they get a chance, when it comes down to it, they'll do what they feel is quote, right. Um, I don't know why finger quotes work on the radio, but certainly. So be it. I saw it. I saw it. Okay. Yeah. Finger quotes were there. So they'll do what they think is right. However, as you get older, you go, well, did it change or did I just realize that they're all full of shit? Or at least see to me, it's not, it's no longer what is right. It is. If we can make the other side seem wrong, that's it. Politics has become advertising. There is no longer a let's convince enough, more than 50% of the people that our system is correct. Instead. It's how do we make sure either enough of the other side doesn't vote or we bring up stories that make them sound bad, whether it's true or not. It's now manipulate the system as opposed to convince people to vote for you. Yeah. This is where we got the oppression campaign is so. Brazenly. Yeah. I mean, it's just, I'm appalled that, that the NAACP is not rioting in the streets right now. I mean, it, it may, it amazes me that you can, you can get, uh, 20,000 African-Americans together in the streets, turning over cars because the Lakers lost, but there, this is. Seemingly like nobody seems to be motivated by it, by this. Like I said, this brazen, uh, manifestly, um, motivated partisan effort to suppress voters, suppress democratic voters. I, I think we should use the same argument or the same methodology. I think we've been going about it the wrong way. We've been praising some of the other shows on this station. We've been praising weekly wrap up, praising bad advice. I think that we should talk about how terrible they are. And then if we talk about how terrible they are, that will automatically make people think our show. Is so awesome. You may want to wait until I'm gone to start. Sal, I do want to move on though, because, uh, Augusta has got so many things in his bio here, I'd like to at least briefly address them. Uh, one of them is interesting here. I didn't know this. I've known Gus for a while, but Gus spent four years writing for the four time Emmy nominated talk show. Um, Ty Treadway, is that the name of the show? Gus? Ty Treadway is the name of the host. Soap Talk is the name of the show. Was the name of the show. Soap Talks, you wrote about soap operas? Uh, fortunately I did not. I basically. Just covered monologue for, it was two hosts. It's an interesting story. It was two hosts. One of them, uh, Ty Treadway, a very talented actor and host, uh, who eventually went on to host, uh, Merv Griffin's last game show, Crosswords. Um, and he was also, he was in the same movie that I directed that Keith Coogan was in, um, or Forever Hold Your Peace. And so Ty eventually got into soap operas and they offered him after the movie. And then they offered him a talk show job with Lisa Rinna. It was a Disney owned cable station. And uh, Disney said to him, look, why don't you just talk about your day during the monologue? And he said, well, five days a week, I'm doing a soap opera and sleeping on a, on a floor in my dressing room in New York. And then I take a red eye and film six shows on the weekend here. What the hell do you think happens during my day? Nothing happens during my day where I can come in. And, and so he basically, uh, you know, he basically asked me to just specifically write for him for monologue. So I was able to avoid any soap opera type, uh, conversations, which would have probably ended that job in a hurry. I don't, I don't foresee me getting, uh, too much mileage out of soap opera talk for myself. How did it end? How did the gig end? Gig end with the show going away. Oh, okay. Do you want, as a writer? I did not get fired. I should say at least I did not get fired. The show got fired. You went the distance is what you're saying. But the show was while I was writing for it was nominated and I'm not claiming, you know, an immense amount of credit for it, but the show was nominated for a daytime Emmy four times and the talk show host, Ty Treadway, who I wrote for was also nominated for separate times. Do you, as a writer, do you watch things and just listen so much to the words that sometimes you can't even enjoy the, the, the art of it? Uh, depends. Um, movies, no, I can get into movies. Um, but when I'm writing specifically, it's the words are, it's almost like writing lyrics dialogue and then read the dialogue and I'll start taking out or adding prepositions just because the sentence is too short, too long. I don't like the rhythm that it's in. Um, so in that way it's almost lyrical at times, but, uh, but otherwise no. Otherwise I try to, I try to get involved, at least let myself get involved in whatever it is I'm listening to. And Kenneth has, uh, did me a great service. Um, he looked over a project I spent about two years writing and I'll tell you, I thought this thing had no fat on it. He, uh, he reviewed it for me. It was kind enough to, uh, point out some of the, uh, you know, extraneous things that I'd included, you know, and, uh, I would definitely, I mean, if anybody, there's a way to contact Kenneth on his website. Oh, Gus, sorry. Kenneth August.com is his website and does have a contact link there. So maybe if you're in the market for somebody to punch up your screenplay or critique it or something, uh, I'm sure Gus would be happy to help you do that. I do briefly want to mention or forever hold your peace here. I'm looking at, I'm looking at the trailer on the website. Um, let me hear it says that the film premiered at the Houston international film festival, it was highly praised for its quick witted dialogue and took home the Remy award. What's the Remy award. Remy award is, uh, they, they, the awards for, for the Houston film festival. Basically I think every film festival tries to make their award sound as close to Grammy as possible. So basically it's the Houston film festival award. Uh, my short film won a Mosker. That is very nice. Congratulations. I think the, uh, is the, is the Mosker and the silent M. That's right. That's right. But we watch a Sal and I watched the trailer before, uh, to prep for the show. And I do have to ask you what, what medium was the movie shot on? Because it looks like millimeter. Okay. Cause it looks like an episode of Miami vice. Yeah. That very kind of grainy, uh, almost inherently dark, even when it's well lit, it's still kind of dark. It was intentional. Well, partially intentional. It's a, uh, I mean, it's a dark comedy, so we, you know, um, we were fine with the grittiness. Um, the issue when we first started filming was. Um, it was early on and we were looking at video tech, not a digital video. Digital video was coming up, but still at the level where if you were moving the camera too much, you would see it kind of drag. So instead of using that technology, you figured, you know what? I got five actors in a room talking for part of this script. I need to move the camera to keep people interested. So let's move on to a different technology that we can actually do that. Of course, when I got there, they said, Hey, the camera can only do. So I said, Hey, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I mean, hey, the camera can only do so much. These walls that were supposed to be removable are no longer removable and try not to use the furniture because the stain didn't dry. So uh, so the stain on the couch, what kind of furniture or movie was this? Porno had been shot only 15 minutes before the actors and actresses were piling out as they were coming in. There is a no the, the, it was not stained as in what the hell is that on my couch? They actually, the art department had just stained it and then it was so goddamn hot that night. or the next two nights. Oh, stained like lacquer. Yes. So the furniture that they did there was, we showed up in the morning for first day of shooting. Five actors in a built hotel room set on stage and they went, okay, so here's the thing. The couch, it'll ruin their clothes, but the chairs, it'll ruin their clothes. Oh, well, that's nice. So, okay, guys, you're all going to have to stand on each other's shoulders for the first scene. So all of a sudden now you go from, hey, here's eight pages of planned shot list to throw that away and let's come up with something else. Now, did anyone you work with on the project go on to bigger and better things? I mean, there's a couple, I'm looking at a couple different actors here. There's four or five kind of main. One of them was Ty Treadway, who ended up being four-time nominated, Emmy nominated, and then went on to host Merv Griffin's Crosswords. And then he won a Mosker after that. I believe he's a three-time Mosker winner. And Keith Coogan was big before. You know, he had all sorts of huge credits before that as well. Keith Coogan has a show on this network called The Call Sheet. And you know what? All this talk of movies reminds me of my rant that I really want to get into because it's so movie related. And I want to hear what you guys have to say about it because after I deliver it, I want you guys to chime in and tell me what you guys think. And who is our sponsor for Sal's weekly rant, Chris? This week, Party Planners Plus, your premier party rental supplier out of Santa Fe, Clarita, and surrounding areas. Take the worry out of event planning and add quality and style to your next event, whether you're planning a wedding, graduation party, holiday party, birthday party, or any special occasion. Party Planners Plus is looking forward to becoming your one-stop rental source. I'll see you. I'm going to go to Party Planners right now. Ken is off to Party Planners Plus. It sounds like a tongue twister, Party Planners Plus, Party Planners Plus. So listen, we got a caller and we're going to get to our caller right after this. Right after I read this, we're going to get to our caller. What I want to say is, I want to lead in by this. For you movie lovers, in 2013, we have a re-release of The Little Mermaid, Independence Day, and Jurassic Park will all be re-released in 2013 in 3D. And it seems every movie studio wants to have their movie in 3D, and particularly when it's full of effects and explosions or any of that. But my point is, 3D has gotten worse, and 3D sucks. When I was a kid, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, movie macabre, introduced me to 1953's House of Wax, 1954's Creature from the Black Lagoon, and that was actual 3D. You got your glasses at the 7-Eleven, I think, you can watch it at home, and you saw that stuff coming at you. In the movie theaters, 1982 Parasite, 1982 Friday the 13th Part 3, when Jason shot that arrow, that came right into your face. Jaws 3D, Amity, 1984 Amityville 3. And then they raised the bar with Disneyland Star Tours, Captain EO raised the bar. Well, what the hell happened? Because recently I've seen movies such as Wrath of the Titans, The Last of Us, and I've seen movies like Prometheus, The Avengers, Amazing Spider-Man. Not one was great or greater in 3D, so what's the point? You sit there for three hours, you're waiting for something to come at you, it doesn't. You pay more. An adult ticket for a 3D movie is $16.50 at the AMC. That's $33 for two people to see a 3D movie. So my contention is, 3D has gotten worse. Every technology's gotten better. Automotive technology, computer technology, every technology's gotten better. When I'm sitting watching a 3D movie, not anything is, it's coming at my face and I feel the need to duck as I did when I was a kid watching Friday the 13th Part 3. Why has it gotten worse? Chris and Ken, please chime in. I'm always instinctively skeptical of anything that has gone. Anything that's failed once and they kind of bring it back seemingly without explanation. Like when they remade the movie, when they made the movie Underdog a couple years ago. It was a show that was on for what, two, three seasons. Nobody had heard of it. There was no public demand to bring it back. So when they make a film out of it, are they surprised when it flops? It's the same thing. 3D went away. People rejected it. So why is this? Well, I think for the most part, I think the logic. How do I answer the call? I think the logic is, for the most part, hey, we can actually do this movie with limited investment and still hope to have a huge release because they've already made the movie. Now they just have to put it in. Okay, in about a minute, we'll take the call. I will say, if you get a chance, there's a big difference here. They have Islands of Adventure in Orlando, Florida. Universal Studios has its own little kind of separate theme park called Islands of Adventure. They have, Marvel Island. And the Spider-Man theme park, like Element or Ride or whatever you want to call it, is amazing. It's in 3D. And one of the guys like shoots fireballs. I mean, you feel heat as it comes at you. It looks like it's coming at you and they actually have something that generates heat. So that was definitely a rewarding experience. But just visually, I wouldn't pay extra just to see something. I think one of the things you were saying though, Sal, is that one of the best parts about that, you were talking about the arrow that came right at your face, was that they, they used to do that. If they're going to have 3D, they used to do that. Avatar kind of broke the mold in we're just going to layer everything. Yes. Which was unbelievably cool, but have something come at me. If you're going to have guys shooting arrows in a 3D movie, I mean, I saw Avatar and nothing came right at me. I had to turn to the guy next to me and punch him in the face just to get the feeling. Right. The whole point of 3D is you want to be that idiot who's so convinced it's real that you start waving your hand in front of your face. Exactly. You start waving your hands in front of you like a cat. Hey, listen, we got a caller. Let's go ahead and patch our caller through. We don't have much time. Caller, you're on the air right now. How's it going, guys? Just want to call up him and join the show and ask if it's a little too late to do a confession from high school because I was listening to you earlier. Go ahead, man. Just move as quickly as you can. Yeah, sure thing. Well, basically, I had this great friend in high school and still think he's a great guy. Had a couple drinks. Just want to let him know, I'm sorry, I urinated in his pool out of sheer laziness, but actually, I don't blame myself. I take partial responsibility, but I think the 7-Eleven that served me underage was basically the one that was at fault, and I want to tell all young people out there, don't drink and pee in friends' pools because it's going to ruin relationships. This is a Democrat right here. No personal responsibility for his actions. Hey, let me ask you, what's the caller's name? Yeah, what's your name, sir? This is Brian. Brian, let me ask, was there a sign that said, welcome to our pool? Notice there's no pee in it? Because if there wasn't, then I will agree that you don't bear full responsibility. No, I don't, but I can tell you this, that these friends of mine, they got me drunk at the same house one time, underage, convinced me to shave my whole head except for a patch of hair on the top that had it braided down on the back like the guy from Live back in the 90s. If I may, two things I've noticed, Miss, one is I've now learned apparently it's wrong to pee in someone's pool. I did not know that. I didn't know that then. No, no, and also apparently, Brian, you were a bad underage drinker. I was. I feel like I've grown, though. This is like my own little version of Oprah calling you guys. How old are you now, Brian? Sixty. I am 35. Okay, you are no longer peeing in pools? No, not anymore because I hear they got that dye that makes the ring around you so I pretty much stopped that. So now you stand outside the water when you pee in the pool. Yeah, I do. I stand next to old people or children and I just blame it on them. I do the same thing when I pass gas. I always blame it on the old people and I fart in public. Hey, Brian, we want to thank you for calling in. We've got to wrap this up right now, but we appreciate your call and we definitely appreciate your listenership. Thanks a lot. Hey, thanks. Thanks, guys. Have a great week. Take care. So what's going on? I'll tell you guys. Be sure you guys listen to Ken August every Sunday, Pacific Time, 4 p.m. on the weekly wrap-up. Listen to us every Friday, 1 p.m. Pacific Time, Registered Ear Offenders and also we've got some comedy shows. Chris, you're going to be doing some comedy somewhere soon? Yeah, I'm going to be performing at Java Joe's in Yorba Linda, California tonight. Should be a lot of fun. It's a free show if you're anywhere in the area. Please come by, check me out. I'd love to meet you in person. And next weekend I'll be at Sidewinders up in Northern California in Santa Rosa. Oh, and we do have a big confirmation. We've got PJ Walsh who's also a very tremendously successful stand-up comedian and has a very successful one-man show about his time in the military and his multiple overseas tours and we're happy to have him next week. So he'll be here next week, PJ Walsh. On short notice, no less. Do you have any final words for us, Ken? No, just go to the weekly wrap-up Facebook page and let us know what stories you want us to talk about this coming Sunday. Or visit KennethAugust.com if you want to check out what Gus has done here. Thanks again for joining us, guys. That's another show successfully done with your cooperation. You gotta remember, man, as soon as it goes to zero, we're done. But you said thanks for cooperating. I have got so much So much to worry about I am stepping up And never coming down I have got so much So much to worry about I am stepping up And never coming down I'm feeling so high Hit me ties all night Looking at you Cause you're so fine Hit me ties all night I'm looking for you Oh, you don't wanna wait for me Oh, you don't wanna wait Oh, you don't wanna wait Oh, you don't wanna wait for me Oh, you don't wanna wait Oh, you don't wanna wait I need a door, I don't mind, no, not another two