Rick Nehera interview, Lakers playoff talk, Skid Row missing actor

Who wants to survive? Is this set in death? Russian. Russian. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Will you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. you are listening to grand theft audio radio with jake belcher and brand thomas so you are right on time for another grand theft audio radio this is jake belcher and i'm brand thoman and we are coming to you live on skid row studios.com here in the heart of downtown la the heart yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah downtown LA. The heart, yeah. The blood pumper. The left ventricle. The thing people draw when they show that they're in love with people. Yes. Yes. Big heart-shaped section. You know, I'm not 100% behind. I'd rather have somebody draw a brain. Like, I'm thinking about you. You're in my brain. It doesn't have to be a heart or it could be like... That you're always on my mind instead of you're always on my heart. Yeah. Yeah. It could be all sorts of... It could be almost like your liver. I mean, it can be almost any other body part. And I... We would probably still just take it in the same way. Be like, oh, he livers me. Oh, he spleens me. Oh, somehow the heart has become what we use for that. Yes. The heart is apparently who knows what it wants. That's what we're told. I'll tell you what else knows what it wants. My tummy. I can't believe... Did you hear that roar go through the... Yeah. Yeah. A little rumbling there. Wow. That's not good, Jake. You should eat your granola bar or something because that's not the way you want to be starting your day. But Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Brent Thoman, the kings of internet radio, is the way you always want to start your day. We are better than a complete balanced, nutritious breakfast. Actually, if you put us on top of that breakfast, it's the most balanced meal of your day. That's probably true. Fair and balanced. I don't know how fair, though. We're kind of like the Fruit Loops. Yes. All sorts of flavors and you never really know what you're going to get. You never know what you're going to get when we're on. It's like, we never really know what we're going to get. Today, we are expecting three guests in. The way that it's been happening lately, though, I almost feel scared to even say who's coming. I know. I know, because we've been promoting it for the last couple of days and the last couple of days have just failed. Let's just not tell anybody who's coming in today. Oh, yes. We're going to keep our fingers crossed and when somebody walks in the door, then we will tell you who we will have. It just makes more sense. But we are expecting three. Yeah. So why build up the anticipation? The anticipation of someone showing up when comics, I don't know, man. It's like they just stay out all night long or something. Yep. Oh, 10 o'clock in the morning. That's when I like, that's when my alarm goes off. I don't even think they wake up that early most of the time. I think that a wake-up time for a comic is about 11 something. So at the same time for a stoner. Meh, roughly. An unemployed stoner and a comic have about the same wake-up time. The difference is it depends upon how much weed the stoner had the night before. Yeah. I mean, did he run out early and have to go to bed? Like, there's all sorts of variables there with the comic lifestyle that just goes on and on and on. So, but yeah, I mean, I guess like head shop owners, they all open up at 11 o'clock anyway. So that's why I think I think the stoners. So I guess head shop operators and comedians, they're the ones who don't have to be anywhere till seven, till 11, excuse me. Lucky them. I'd say that that is probably true. Hey, there, it's Vagina News. What, what you gonna learn in Vagina News? I said, hey, there, it's Vagina News. What you gonna learn in Vagina News? Vagina News. Vagina News has just gotten much more expensive. It turns out that they are now trying to pass a bill here in the state of California to charge you a $10 tax for every time you want to go to a strip club. So you're paying a cover on top of your cover. Or a cover to see some uncovered. Yeah. I mean, like, however you want to look at it, it could be one way or the other. But $10, dude, that seems like a... Well, that's almost 100% tax. Because I don't know how much people usually spend to get into a strip club, but $10 is usually the cover I have to pay to get in. I don't know. I mean, I've heard some places are like $40 or something. Wow. That's expensive. That better be some really nice uncovered. That's really expensive. Yeah. But, they, okay, so the whole idea for this was that they wanted to find ways to fix our spending gap and try to be able to help our state. They're trying to find any way to get revenue into the state coffers. So everyone's like, yeah, this is a great idea. Like, let's get money from those perverts who want to go out and see some boobies. But then, they realize that, hey, you know what? We should do this, but let's use the money on something else. Let's use the money to help fund sexual assault awarenesses, prevention and treatment services, forensic exam rape kits, and programs that support victims of sexual exploitation through human trafficking. So that's what they want to use this money for. Yeah, so like the whole idea of it being something that was going to help our state's economy and be able to make it so that we can still have... It's just bullshit because we're just going to waste that money on more bureaucratic mumbo jumbo. Wonderful. It's not exactly... I'm so glad they've already figured out how they're going to spend the money before they've even fucking gotten it. Okay, dude, that is a syndrome that's going on right now. The state or the city of San Francisco has so much new construction going on and people buying things above their means because everyone is thinking they're going to make so much money off of Facebook. This new tech bubble that's building up in the Silicon Valley again. And they're not sure that if it's unsustainable and if people aren't going to be able to actually make the huge returns on their profit like they think it's going to, San Francisco could be in a lot of trouble. Yeah, big time. I mean, the state alone is expecting $1.5 billion to come in from the IPO of Facebook, which just baffles me. It's like, really? You guys, you have all these expectations for this one thing. This one company is not going to save America. In fact, all it's going to do is it's going to throw an influx of money into certain sections of this country and sure, we'll see some spending that'll come from it and we'll see some nice gains in the economics of those areas. But as a nation, it's not going to do much for us. So I think everyone needs to kind of chill out on this. Every day, there's something new, new article about the IPO. Like the business section of the Times today, one of their questions is like, like Facebook stock, buy early or hold off? Gee, I don't know. Well, you don't even have the option now. Right. Because most places have stopped taking orders on it up to two days ago before it even went on sale because there's been such a demand for it. They think that there's going to be, it's just going to sell out instantly. Yeah, I'm certain it will. I'm certain within an hour of trading opening up that every share will have been sold and that company will. I'm really surprised that it's opening up on NASDAQ and that's a big thing. Not on the Dow Jones, the New York Stock Exchange. Yeah, I don't know how they choose which one they want to be on, but that surprised me also. Yeah, because Microsoft has always been part of NASDAQ as well. They've never transferred over to the NYSE. So, it's definitely, and he'll be ringing the bell tomorrow morning to get things started. But I guess he's going to be the first person to not really ring the bell there in person. He's doing it virtually because, you know, Is he going to send a robot? That's the only way I'll accept it. Or at least a robotic version of himself or something? No, he's going to do it through like a video uplink. I'm going to push a button here and the bell's going to ring. He's having a, pardon me, hold on. Pardon me. That's all right. He's having, I'm not feeling that great. He's having a hackathon just like I am right now. He's having a hackathon tonight where all of his buddies sit around and they try to hack into systems and see what they can make and happen. And he didn't want to give up the hackathon and give up the hackathon to be able to go and ring the bell. So, you know, you got to have your priorities. Isn't admitting that you're going to be having a hackathon and you're going to be trying to hack into different systems, it must be systems that they've created and that you're, I'm sure. It can't be you're actually hacking into some company or system, some government system or something like that. It's still nerdy as hell. You may as well say that you're sitting around playing World of Warcraft all night long. That's actually probably what he is doing. I mean, to me, that's on the same freaking level. After he makes his hundred million dollars off the hundred billion billion dollars, they're going to go buy the World of Warcraft. I mean, literally the entire World of Warcraft, not the company that created it, they're going to go virtually and buy up everything. That would not surprise me. Okay, so $10 strip club tax to be able to go and see your boobs. There is a great way of getting around this. This is one of my favorite stories that we've ever done on the air ever. Okay. So, how do you get around the $10? Oh, it's not, well, okay, so I guess he, if this happened now, he would probably have to still pay that $10. But there's a 67-year-old dude named Robert White who went to a Texas strip club, racked up a couple thousand dollars in lap dances and private dances and then he died before he had to pay. Now, that's good stuff. That's great living. I mean, that's just like, that's the way to die. If you, let's say that you know you're going to die in like two hours somehow, like you just know that you're, that's when you're going to die. I mean, why not go there and, and do it? Yeah. Like you said, a couple of grand worth of lap dances and, and probably a lot more fun than that at that price. And then, if you know you're going to die, like get every girl in the place to dance for you at the same time, get like 12 girls in the back, you're like, yeah, this is, have a massive heart attack or stroke that just takes your right out. It's like, bye ladies, thanks. And in that situation, I'm sure that's not the only thing that you'll have a massive of. If you're lucky. You're right, 67 years old, maybe that really wasn't going that great for him. Right. But there's always those pills. Get those and use those before you go in. Hey ladies, look what I've got. Look what I've got for you. It's an incredible way to go. It really is. Like you said, if you could plan out, if you were, if you were going to commit suicide, how would you do it? If there's a way of taking like a single dose of a poison, I would go to a strip club, rack up thousands of dollars and just pop that pill and say goodbye. Die happy. I can just imagine like the priest who's out there like, dear family and loved ones, I want you to know that your loved one was having a really good time when he died. Dear friends, loved ones, and strippers, we're still not going to pay the tab. I mean, does a stripper have the right to go after like the estate of the guy to be able to be paid off for her services? Yeah, good point. I mean, I would imagine you, the services rendered would have to be paid for at some level. I mean, does he have a credit card? You should check the wallet real quick. Swipe it. Make sure you charge for the right amount. And, well, we had already rung the credit card up before he died. He just never signed it. I don't think that would stand up. They'd have to argue it. Yeah. But, you know, I don't know. I don't know if you can. I would imagine you'd probably be able to file some kind of lawsuit against the estate saying, wait a second, I will strip her and I'll strip him and I want my money. I did my service. I mean, it would work in any other situation. I mean, if you had a mechanic and you brought your car there and the mechanic fixed your car and the guy dies, you would still be expected to pay for the services rendered. Yeah, if you want to get that car back. Is it just because they're a stripper we feel like, ah, you know, we don't really have to pay them? Well, I hope we can find out if these girls did get paid. As he died before he paid, so maybe the club paid him out of their pocket? Maybe. Again, it seems like that would be the most generous, nicest club ever. I would imagine that club would then be going after the estate. I'm not sure that most clubs are really that nice to their dancers. I think some of them are, but those are the ones that you were talking about where they're $40 a person, $40 a head to get in. Uh-huh. You know, I was down on Hollywood Boulevard yesterday and they have a new strip club, at least new to me. I don't really know. I don't go to them. It had the best strip club slogan on the outside. It's like a thousand beautiful girls and three ugly ones. You totally want to go in there and be like, which ones are the ugly ones? You probably would know immediately. Just walk in and they would just immediately stand out. There's some ugly girl outside who's looking inside and she's like, oh, there's only two. They can hire me. Yeah. I saw something on the streets yesterday that was just awful. Okay, so I'm outside of the 7th Street Metro Station. I'm outside of the 7th Street Metro Station. Right. And there's this little bum lady running around. I mean, she's not that old. I'd probably say she's 28, 29, somewhere in that age. Okay, so younger than us, actually. Yeah, younger than us. And she's wearing like, remember that blue gingham dress that Dorothy wears in The Wizard of Oz? Yeah. She's wearing one of those and she's kind of dancing around and she comes up and she's like, your soda looks really good. Can I have a sip of it? I'm just looking at it and all I see is like herpes and shit in my mind. And I'm like, no, you can't have a sip of it. I'll tell you what, I took a sip of it and I gave the rest of it to her. I said, you can have the rest of it. So I'm standing there and I'm taking this phone call and you can't get reception down underground. Right. So I'm finishing off my phone call and all of a sudden this little homeless girl lays down on the ground and she starts blatantly showing her homeless vagina off. Like, she has this little skirt on and she lays back. She just like, lays back and pulls her dress off and says, hey, take a look everybody. Her dress was too short to cover anything when she's standing just about. Oh. So when she lays down, like she lays down and she kind of like tucks her feet up in like a fetal, like the fetal position and with her ass hanging towards the street and the dirtiest butt, vagina area. I mean, like you can't not kind of glance over that direction. I mean, I didn't take a picture. I mean, I didn't like, I didn't commission an artist to come in and paint it. I just, glanced over, realized, holy shit, that is about the worst thing I've ever seen. Please get rid of that. Maybe that's what's making me feel sick this morning. Maybe, man. Maybe that just got stuck in my brain because it was really, oh. God, I feel bad that I missed it. Wait, no I don't. You do a little. A little. A little. I mean, it's still. Makes me wonder exactly the situation. What a ceiling. You said the shirt, the skirt was already too short to begin with. And it was like tattered and ripped up. Like, she was some punk rock Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. But she was like Hawaiian. Huh. I'm not sure if she was Hawaiian or if she was just dirty. Because, you know, Hawaiians have that kind of brown color to them. Like, she kind of had the same thing, but it may have been street grime. Gross. Yeah, like, the bottom of her feet because she's up in that fetal position. It looked like they had about a half inch of caked black grime on them. Delicious. Yeah. It was, uh, disgusting. But I'll tell you what, I didn't have to pay to see it. Right. So, hey, at least you didn't have to pay the $10 tax that they would have hit you for. So, victory. The cops did come in and take her away. Like, we told you before, Mary, you can't have your vagina just hanging out there. This can't just be just hanging out. Yeah, because that is what she was doing. She was doing it on purpose. Oh, yeah. I mean, it wasn't, this was no accidental thing. Like, we're, you know, sometimes you see. There's obviously something wrong upstairs. Oh, no doubt. I mean, it's not, it's not just alcoholism and being homeless and, you know, having, there's obviously some kind of, like, chemical imbalance or something. Yeah. Because she's like, she's obviously likes what she's doing. I don't think she just liked it. I think she wanted the attention that whatever it was going to garner. We got the cops to come out, so she got attention. And she probably got to be taken someplace where she gets a warm meal and a bed to lay in. Hopefully. And all those other important things. Maybe a bath. Hopefully a bath. Yeah, she totally needed a bath. So, but I guess, does that cover our Vagina News or were there any other stories we had today? I'm trying to remember. I don't think so. I would say that that is the end of Hey, there, it's Vagina News. What you gonna learn in Vagina News? I said, hey, there, it's Vagina News. What you gonna learn in Vagina News? Vagina News. Vagina News. Yeah. And we're back. We are gonna continue on. We, last night was a tremendously disappointing night in sports for Los Angeles Lakers fans. I did not happen to get to see the game live. I did tune in for the last five minutes of it, though, and saw what was really quite the train wreck of the end of a show. Dude, I don't know why it's a disappointment. I mean, they lost by 30 how many points last time? Right, right. This time they lost by like, two? They lost by two, but they were up by seven with two minutes to go. And in that last two minutes, there wasn't a single possession that the Lakers could do anything with. I mean, bad shots, bad shot selections, horrible defense, and they turned the ball over again and again. They just did not look like a team that was ready to finish off a team that had really given them a good thumping. I mean, at 77-75 is the final score. It's obviously a much more defensive-oriented game, but how you were unable to stop a seven-point run in two minutes and not even score a single point yourself is just insane. In some way, to me, though, if you follow the trends and how things go, it's like, that means that, okay, so you lost the first game by 36. You lost the next game by two. You're going to win the next game by 34. You're going to win the next game after that by 70. You're going to win I mean, it's like the way that we can hope getting better and better and stronger and stronger. So they have to now, well, at least the Lakers are coming home and we'll have back-to-back games both Friday and Saturday against Oklahoma. So with any luck, we'll be able to tie it up and maybe even take a series lead if we can win all three at home. Did the Clippers play also? No, Clippers played tonight and that's their game two. And they're still in San Antonio. I don't suspect to see, I don't expect to see the Clippers move beyond this round. San Antonio just looks to, even for an old team, looks fresh and sharp and ready to go out there and really challenge for a title. I think they're going to be the team in the West to beat. Even over the Lakers. I'm still hoping, I'm still going to keep rooting for the Lakers but I see San Antonio as just such a dominant force right now. Okay, so in this Lakers series, like, how much of it is that Oklahoma's good? They are good. Especially that first game but I think, again, that was because they had just come off a five days worth of rest and the Lakers had to travel to go see them in Oklahoma City. But OKC looked really, really impressive. They were firing on all cylinders in the first game. Last night, definitely not so much. They weren't able to, the turnovers on both sides of the game last night were just ridiculous. I mean, both teams just couldn't seem to be able to hold onto the ball or pass the ball properly. At times, it even seemed like they were trying to be a little too showboat with some of their passes that just like, that was so easily intercepted because you really made a wrong choice in that. So, I think Oklahoma's going to make a great series of this. I think the Lakers are going to make a great series of this one. I, I'm going to continue to hope the Lakers can win, but this 0-2 start in the series really does kind of put a damper on that possibility. So, and then, let's see, tonight we've got the Kings playing their third game against the Phoenix Coyotes. So, they're up 2-0. We're two games away from clinching a Stanley Cup berth for the, only the second time in franchise history. They've done very well so far, but, and they're, coming home for this next game. So, it seems they've been basically unbeatable. Yeah, they've, they've got the single loss and I think, I think it was a single road loss that they had the whole way, but, 9 out of 10, we're at 11 out of 12 games that, am I right? 8-9. This will be the 12th one. So, 9 out of 11 so far and I, I suspect that at home they'll, they'll hand the, the Coyotes their third consecutive loss, which will be great. You gotta say, there is a, a pretty good conversation or a pretty, pretty good chance that that's gonna happen. Yeah. I really think the Kings, they, they are just on such a tremendous roll. I've never seen momentum like this in a Kings hockey team, even back when they made their run for the Stanley Cup then. Back then you had names that were, you know, iconic with hockey like Gretzky and Robitaille and, and Kelly Rudy. You, you, didn't, hockey wasn't talked about with those, without those names coming up on a regular basis. and, now to see these younger players, especially like Brown and Carter, just really tearing up that ice. It's really nice to see. Well, as you know, I don't really pay that much attention to it. Yeah. You're not gonna get into it for another two games. But we're getting close, you know? I mean, I, I really didn't think that that was gonna happen, that we were gonna get that close where it was gonna be like, I'm actually going to watch some hockey, but we're getting there. It's coming along. Good. I'm glad. What I feel good for is, is all these businesses down by Staples Center that got butt raped at the beginning of the season when there was no basketball going on. Like, for them to be able to have these three, three playoff teams going on at the same time, like, I feel great about that for them. Well, what's, what's crazy is, think about this. On Sunday, you've got the last leg of the tour to California. Then you've got, and that's, that finishes off down, or excuse me, it's the, the last leg starts at the Staples Center. So you've got 20,000 cyclists, who are going to be down there. Mix in the fact that you're going to, you've got a hockey game that's going to go on just a couple hours later. So you're, you're starting to see 20,000 hockey fans showing up. And then after that, you're going to have another wave of 20,000 people to go in and see either a Laker or a Clipper game. So it's, it's, that's a packed little area for this weekend. That is an area that I do not want to be anywhere near. Yeah, that is a shitload of people. There's no doubt. So. I feel great for that. That's awesome. absolutely. Okay. So, hey, we got our first break today. We're going to use it to play a little bit more of the interview that we started yesterday with Rick Nehera, writer, performer, director, writer on In Living Color and MADtv. He's had three different Showtime specials in the last year alone, which is pretty impressive. He's got a big show coming up tomorrow night, Rick Nehera and the ICU Live. It is a Friday, May 18th at 8 p.m. He's got Johnny Sanchez from MADtv, Carlos Alazaraki from MADtv, from Reno 911, Jill Michelle Amelian from Comedy Central and Rudy Moreno, who to all LA radio fans, we all know who he is. So I feel great about being able to promote this and you guys should go out and check this out. We're going to pick this up as Rick starts getting into explaining what happened to him and how he got into the situation. So I hope you enjoy it. Hundreds of actors have had a chance to work with and mentor. And it sounds like me. I mean, I think I vaguely do remember you guys. You were the only white guy. Is there any way to turn the volume up on the computer? It was kind of a tough neighborhood. Yeah. It was the whole, Chicago was a blast for me. That's why I did that movie Nothing Like the Holidays which was set in Chicago. Oh, yeah, yeah. With John Leguizamo. Yeah, I interviewed Freddy Rodriguez when that came out. Yeah, he's a cool guy. Oh, cool, yeah. And I wrote that film and because it was a Valentine in Chicago. Chicago's always been a cool city. Yeah. It's been like because it's a cool city. It's a cool city. It's a cool city. In L.A., we never knew really how to party. Guys in Chicago know how to party because they have, they have a different lifestyle. So in L.A., you'd think that Hollywood, oh, man, these guys must be out every night with Lindsay Lohan and all sorts of crazy stuff or, you know, hang out with Paris Hilton but it's not that way at all. It's when you leave town. Like when I've gone to Miami, it's decadent or when I went to Chicago because there's people that don't even work in entertainment will come up to you and go, man, we're going out tonight. We're going to dream. We're going to bar service. Oh, man, it's on. And it was, it was always that way. I'd go to Chicago and I'd be like, you know, it'd take me weeks to get over, over being there because it was out every night drinking. Chicagoans know how to drink. They just know how to drink. Oh, yeah. It was crazy and the people you meet, it was a, it was, that time, time of my life was a great time, great time of my life. So, so tell us, I mean, if you can, about what happened in March and about the benefit as a holy who's in it and things like that. Yeah, you know, what happened was really weird because I was, I just directed the CBS Diversity Comedy Workshop that I do every year and, and we've had, you know, 16 people from that are now series regulars on TV and, and we've had two actors move on to Saturday Night Live, Nassim Khadra and Kate McKinnon and I was exhausted. I had 23 actors and, you know, 20 writers and I work with all of them and part of it is I direct and mentor and teach and I write as well and, and it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a real job. It really, it takes three months time to do it. It's a three month commitment and then we put on the show and I just was too exhausted and had no idea and I had undiagnosed pneumonia which is one of the worst things you can do. Yeah, I had that in college one time. For a week, I'm like coughing up practically a lung and people finally were like, dude, why don't I get that checked and they're like, you're in full-on pneumonia. I got locked out in the health center for three days. Yeah, no, full-on pneumonia can, I mean, it's, it's one of those things and I had pneumonia and I didn't know it and I'd driven myself to the ground and the fever set in. I was delirious for practically a day and no one knew it and I was home by myself. My, my wife and kids were having a little vacation down in San Diego and no one could get a hold of me and oddly enough, my wife just had an odd feeling and she's, she's Anglo. She's, she's white and they're very punctual so she said, I'm going back to see Rick and I collapsed and hit my head and so, so I had massive brain trauma on, on my prefrontal lobe and I was in a, a coma, number three in the Glasgow coma scale which is, which I, I had no idea that people in Glasgow rated comas that they got that much free time on. Well, they drink themselves into comas so they had to rate it. Yeah, they had to cook it. Yeah, you're in a Glasgow coma scale of three. Hey, look what happened to Sheppy last night. He's in a Glasgow, he's on a four. Yeah, he was, he was, apparently he drank and all and he was on Glasgow eight. So, so I think I've been a nine before once or twice. I've been, you know. Well, three's the lowest so I was at a three. Okay. And, and so, I came in there and, and, you know, I'd been practicing. I think he's a slacker. Oh yeah, I swear. Sorry. I know how to party. I get to a three in a Glasgow coma scale. I'm happy. So I was at a three and, and hit my head mysteriously, I don't know where and they at first thought, you know, maybe this guy got mugged or, but they went in my house and they noticed I had my wallet and watches and everything and nothing like that. It was just, I literally had became delirious and had a seizure and collapsed and hit my head and that caused a big, massive gash and brain trauma and then, I started bleeding to death. So you didn't fall in your home? You fell out in public somewhere? No, I fell in home. Oh, okay. If I want to party and do it in public falling, it's different. Yeah, sure. They get it on TMZ or something. Yeah. This was, uh, me actually falling in my home. Oh, that's scary. Yeah, by myself. Yeah. So, my wife found me, came in, they called the ambulance, I was rushed to the ICU and then I was pretty much under for about almost two weeks. Wow. And, uh, it was a, a very expensive bill. I mean, luckily the Writers Guild, uh, my, my insurance pays for part of it but not everything. Wow. So, um, just, just an aside but I think people would find this interesting because it's not often I get to meet people who've been in comas. So, um, um, not to make light of this but I've always wondered, I've heard sometimes that, uh, when you're in a coma, you can actually, it's just that you can't respond but you can hear everything that's being said. Yes. And so, not to get personal unless there's something you, that was funny or touching or digital mind sharing but I mean, when you came out of it, uh, as you were in it, could you tell what was going on uh, and are you just dying to be able to respond and you can't? Yeah. Um, and, and did you, you know, do you remember that when you came out? Like, oh, either that bastard said this thing about me or, uh, or what a nice thing somebody said I never expected. There, a few things, you know, because you're in a coma so you really can't move but, you know, my, my wardrobe was, you know, I was exposed a few times and just a lot of people was praising me. Like, wow, that's amazing. Whoa. Really? I had no idea. Gee, he's so, so gifted. They should call him Tripod. That's, I don't know how he, it centers him. That's amazing. If it was a film of me, I'd be extremely pixelated so that you would just, you know, but it was, I heard that a lot. A lot of like, you know, guys like Secretariat. I don't know how, what was he doing? And then, um, people ask me if I had a white light moment. That was a big part of it. And, um, did you? No, you know, I, I heard, I heard Rick, Rick, and I turned, I, in my mind, I turned around and it was God. He's like, oh, I'm sorry, wrong Rick. I met Rick Sanchez, CNN, and XCNN guy. I wanted to talk to him, but from the back, kind of look alike. So that happened. And you really did hear a voice or not? No, I would hear, I would hear people talking. I would hear people talk. What do you mean? Like you think people in the real world or you're saying, you think you heard something from beyond? Nothing from beyond. I, I, you know, a lot of people, they come back and it's like, they're, I mean, I could have said that because who could have told, but I don't want to lie. So I was going to, you don't want to lie about that. Yeah. I had a conversation with God and I didn't lie completely about it. Yeah. I would start a religion. I've got 15 commandments and five of them is treat Rick really nice. Okay. So, um, no, it was, it was, I felt loved as odd as it sounds to say that. I know I, I, I shouldn't, but I, I think the closest thing to it was almost in a cocoon and I knew people were outside and I never felt scared and I felt very loved. And, uh, it was, it was the, not a, not a white light. I call it the right light moment. It was, it was, uh, I remember one time I was in the Sierras on some fly fishing and I brought my son and we're crossing a stream. He's, he must've been seven and he slept on a rock and he almost went in the water and I grabbed him and he looked at me and he said, you know, I said, don't worry, I've got you and I'll never let you go. And he goes, I know you'll never let me go. I know that. And it was said it was such, you know, simplicity and, and honestness and such faith and in a strange way in that coma, I felt the same way. Wow. I felt that, that people were, were there. And no one was, was, uh, was going to leave me. I really felt that. I felt very at peace. And, you know, it's weird. I always, I'll work myself to death and I said, you know, it's about a week and a half in a coma and you are so rested when you come out. Yeah, I was going to say, are you like just, I was rested. I was, I would, I would stay up later at night sometimes, but no, it was, it was, it was odd because also you, I could barely move. You know, I'd been two weeks in a bed and, um, almost like an, an astronaut had been in space and I could, I could barely move. And then I got a phone call from my agent to have a smiley. I call the speakers bureau and say, Hey, we've got you to speak. You're going to speak at the world bank. So on diversity, I have diversity month at the world bank. I do a lot of diversity. So I start texting cause I get, they finally gave my phone back. So I was, I was like Sweeney Todd when he got it back, his, his razors cold. I was like, and now I'm home. So I texted, um, CBS. I talked to Fern Ornstein. I'm like, I'm going to speak at the world bank. So she starts telling people, Oh my God, Rick has totally lost it. His brain damage thinks he's going to speak at the world bank. Why would he ever say that? But they didn't realize I really was. So I got to the world bank a week later and I go, I just left ICU. I was in a coma about a week ago. I'm here. I'm a miracle. And I said, each one of you is a miracle too. And I gave my speech with that beginning and I sent back a picture to Fern and all my friends at CBS going, I'm at the world bank cause I, I took a picture in front of the world bank. So I gave a great speech and then I practically collapsed again and I'm flying back to California. They told me not to fly, not to do these things, but I did it. Wow. How did they expect you to travel by train or something like this? Um, you know, they just expected me to say, no, I'm not going to go. Oh, okay. Got it. Sure. They wanted me to cancel and I wouldn't. Wow. So I said, yeah, you don't get the world bank call very often. You don't get that call at all. In fact, the guy before last year was Dr. Gates who did the, uh, beer hall summit with Obama. Oh, so they get the, the best speakers ever is at the world bank. So I, I couldn't turn that down. Yeah. No kidding. Well, perhaps will this lead to a beer summit with Obama? I'm hoping so. I'm, for me, it's going to be the tequila summit because I'm Mexican. So it's going to be the tequila summit and then we'll get angry and sing a lot of songs and say, man, I love you, bro. I love you, bro. My bro. I want to see how Biden handles the tequila. Yes, that's right. Yeah. Well, Biden's the one that scared me. He's, he's kind of rough, but it's like the national clown. He's sort of taken over. It was like the, the, the, the, the descendant to Dan Quayle or something like that. He's like the, the, the, the, the older brother that still sleeps at home, stays at home. Yeah. Like that guy. You're like, you know, it's like that one Jonas that no one ever brings out in public. That's Biden is. Well, it's better to have the, the joke be in the vice seat rather than the, the lead seat. So that's, that's a nice change. Well, Obama did the smartest thing when he put Biden in there as his vice president. Yeah. He was like, no one's ever going to hurt me now. No one's ever going to hurt me. Yeah. That's awesome. Okay. So how did you, how did you get started in comedy? I mean, and you know, what was your childhood like? All that stuff. Where were you at? I mean, did your family, you know, did you have a funny household, that kind of thing? Or was this rebellion? No, it was a pretty funny household. Actually, it was odd. It was like a dysfunctional Latino household and everyone knew we were dysfunctional, including us. And I grew up fairly poor. I was like five kids in one bedroom. And it was, it was, you know, difficult. But when we were poor, I never felt it. I always thought it was okay because we were together. As my family got upper middle class because my father started really achieving well in business, that's when we were all very separated. And I think we're more unhappy with the richer we got. So I... That's how it goes a lot of times. It does. It does go that way. But I prefer to be really, really rich and unhappy than living poor and unhappy. Yeah. But yeah, so I, I came from a family of really good, you know, storytellers. And it was, it was, it was like a really cool thing. And like, were you in the LA area or were you somewhere else in America or what? You know, I was in San Diego. Oh, okay. I grew up in the, in the most beautiful city, really, literally, in America. Yeah. And I had no idea what weather was like. So it was, it was only when I got to Chicago and hit, you know, blizzards and snowstorms. And I was like, man, how do people live this way? But since I grew up in this really nice town, because even if you're poor there, you can still go to the beach. Yeah. You can be like, catch a bus, you're at the beach and it's, you can't tell the difference between a poor, poor man and a rich man on the beach. Yeah. So I was, I was, you know, I was happy. And then as I started going into entertainment, my brother was born, with a speech impediment and born with a lot of, you know, problems. And so my father, who was a door-to-door salesman, actually, part-time, joined the Toastmasters. And he's like, you know, if you could, son, if you could really learn to speak beautifully, I'd be very proud of you. And he took me to a Shakespearean movie and all sorts of stuff. And I thought about it. So I started writing, reading Shakespeare. I was reading Shakespeare. This was before I started writing and memorizing it. And one day, I went to the Oak Grove Theater in San Diego. I must have been 17. And I auditioned for Romeo, as Romeo, and with it all memorized. And I got to be a part of the Oak Grove. They gave me a year contract. I was there. So yeah, that started everything. That was the big start. Well, man, that's a hell of a lot different than what I expected. I thought it would be like, you know, hey, I hung out at comedy clubs. No, no. Later on, I hung out at comedy clubs, which was really weird for me because I really came from a classical actor kind of thing. That's crazy, huh? I was a Shakespearean actor. So, do you have any, did you have any heroes growing up in the comedy world or did you give it a thought at that time? You know, I mean, I had heroes like everyone else. I mean, it's funny because I got a chance to work with a lot of them. I mean, I knew Whoopi Goldberg before she was a big star and she was just a single mother with a kid. How'd you meet her? Second City Improv was doing a special in Chicago on mental health and they came to town with all the alumni, the guys who starred in Second City, Severin Darden, Bruce Shriver, people like that. Yeah, I trained at Second City. Yeah, so the guys who starred, they went there and they needed two other actors and they said, let's just hire local actors. So me and Whoopi auditioned. Whoopi was at the San Diego Rep and I was at the Oak Globe and they gave us a job. So Whoopi, I came in there and she came in there. I was literally too young to be on camera because I couldn't do a scene about four guys in a bar because I could write it and they said, you know, if you write, you can stay on here longer and once I heard that, I was like, man, I'm getting paid. So I started writing and Whoopi did too and, you know, I started writing and, you know, I started writing and later on, she started doing her one-woman show because she had a partner. It was her and another person and the guy kept dropping out so she just said, I'm doing a one-person show and Whoopi, you know, pushed me a lot toward writing. She said, you should be writing and I remember that very well and she wasn't known but she was, to me, a hero, someone like that and then when I came to Hollywood, there was John Wells who was my neighbor. He did, you know, West Wing and tons of movies and stuff and, you know, and he said, you should be writing so everyone kind of pushed me to writing and I started thinking, you know, if all these people are pushing me to writing, maybe I should start to write and so I, I didn't like the roles I was getting because I was just playing the drug lord. I was getting paid well but I was, you know, inviting a lot of negativity a weird way to my life. I would be on these sets and I'd see guys. I saw a guy get shot. It wasn't part of the set. We were just shooting in a bad neighborhood and I started thinking, you know, I want to do better stuff. I want to do better roles and, and I said, they're not written so I started writing the roles and, and it happened to be comedy because I knew people like to laugh so I started writing more comedy and, and that's how it, it took off. Okay, so, You are listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. You're listening to Skid Row Studios. We're listening to Skid Row Studios. I'm not doing it with you. Please do it with me. Fuck that. Can you please have sex with me? At Skid Row Studios? At Skid Row Studios. Maybe. Okay. You are listening to Grand Theft Audio Radio with Jake Belcher and Brant Thoman. All right. All right. All right. Are you getting me through your headset? Yeah. Here you go. All right. Great. This is Jake Belcher. And I am Brant Thoman. And once again, that was a part of an interview with Carl Kozlowski, our entertainment reporter with Rick Naharo. He's got his big event Friday night, so go out and check that out. But if you're looking for something to do Saturday night, you should totally be heading down to the West Side Comedy Theater in beautiful Santa Monica. It's going to be an amazing night out there. And it's going to be a good place. It's a good place to go because downtown is going to suck to get in and around this Saturday with so much going on. Santa Monica is a great alternate destination where the traffic is going to be a bit lighter because too many people are going to be busy trying to get down to see Lakers and Clippers. And then we've also got the Amgen Tour de California. That's... The Tour de California. Tour de California. So those... Yeah, it's going to be a madhouse. And I think there's also... A little bit out of the area, but there's also the Pasadena Marathon, I think, this weekend. Yeah, out in Pasadena. That's going to be... Lots of street closures, lots of not taking your normal routes. Right. So you should make sure that you get out and you get some good time to celebrate and laugh and really, like, you should be heading down to the West Side Comedy Theater in beautiful Santa Monica down on the promenade. We've got Grand Theft Audio live on Saturday night, 8 o'clock. Not really sure what the lineup's going to be because right now I'm feeling like someone should be cut from our lineup. I'm not going to say who it is. Right. But I feel like I've been burned by this person a couple of times now. And, like, maybe today, maybe this person is supposed to be live in the studio about a half an hour ago. Yeah. And I've heard absolutely nothing. Maybe they bailed on me earlier this week and maybe they bailed on our show last month. So somehow I feel like we need to... Yeah. I would use... If I was at home and I had no one there, I'd be like, cut that inward off. Yeah. I mean, he's not that. So, but... You just can't keep putting up with things like that. It's really kind of a disappointment. Constantly being told there's a reason why, at the last minute, why you can't... And then no reason at all. So... Oh. Unfortunate, but... But we do know we have Brian Scolaro coming out. Yeah. Who is hilarious. He's very funny. He's worth the price of admission alone. Mm-hmm. You've also got Karen Kilgouriff, who was the head writer for the Ellen DeGeneres show, I think, for seven seasons. That's a nice little gig, I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, I'm super stoked to have her. We're going to have Jeb Cadwell. He was out on our show just last week, and we had a lot of fun talking with him. He's got some... Just his stories were funny, and that's not even his stand-up. So I'm really looking forward to seeing what a set of his stand-up's going to be like. And we have Brenda Lamberty and Sundar Kumar, and you've got Omar Nazarif. I mean, it's a pretty killer lineup. Like, it is the next generation's best comics. Like, these people are hand-picked by us to bring you the best comedy. You can possibly get live. And our shows have been called magical by the LA Times because they just know that when it comes down to putting the best comics on stage, nobody does it better than Grand Theft Odd. That's right. And Scolaro, as our headliner, is really going to... Co-headliner, is really going to... I think he's just going to knock it out of the park. He makes me laugh every time he gets up on stage. No doubt. He's mega talented. So, totally worth it. So, Saturday night, 8 o'clock, Westside Comedy Theater. 8 o'clock, Westside Comedy Theater. Okay, so, what did we miss at the beginning of the show that we almost always do? We do our best to do, but sometimes we forget. Yeah, we missed the top of the hour, and that is talk about what are we celebrating today? What are today's holidays? And what are the days we have to look forward to in the next couple of days? Okay, so, there's a couple things that are going on. We have a couple of the month celebrations that we've yet to touch on. Right. We have Go Fetch. This is the National Food Drive for Homeless Animals Month. Oh. You know, that's actually kind of a nice little thought. Is Go Fetch, that's the name of the program? Yes. Okay, I didn't know if that might be the name of an actual charity. Because that would be a cool charity to do something for. For sure, man. Because, you know, you think about homeless people and hungry people, and you do something about them. Actually, I went and did one of these events on Saturday with my wife. And I was talking about, you know, like, do people bring? Do people bring cat food or dog food? Because almost all hungry people have pets. And that way, the money that they are bringing in doesn't have to go to, say, taking care of the pet for a couple of days. Because they have food for it. Yeah. And they can use that food to maybe get something a little healthier for themselves. I like this whole idea. Or a rock of crack. Whichever they fancy. Let's hope that the animals don't want that. Right. No, no, no. Since they already have the food for the animals. The animals will be happy. And the animals will take care of them while they're smoking their rock. This is also a National Better Hearing Month. Oh. I'm sorry, what? You can hear that. Apparently. National Better Hearing Month. Yes. So if your hearing isn't all that good, like, go get it checked out. If you couldn't hear what we said, it's National Hearing Month. Yeah, that's right. There's a lot of options out there with the hearing aids and ways of being able to make sure you can hear something. So you don't miss out on national hearing. National Hearing Month. National Hearing Month. Yes. And then if you need to, go out and buy one of those nifty little ear pieces that look like a Bluetooth. So you'll actually be able to hear things for up to 30 feet away. Because there's things you want to hear about. I mean, let's say that your hearing is awful. How would you not? How would you then learn about National Hepatitis Awareness Month? Oh, that's good to know. I didn't know I would need to be more aware of hepatitis. I guess you just go around and you tell people that, can't you see I've got hepatitis? Or. Be careful for hepatitis. I don't even know how hepatitis works. There's like multiple versions. A, B, and C. And I know C is the worst. But I don't know exactly how it's transmitted or anything. I always had it like each one of those A, B's or C's was correlated to a body part. So it was like hepatitis A was like hepatitis ass cancer. Ass cancer. Ass hepatitis. B was like boobs. For the ladies? Yeah. They have to get it right. Right. And C is for C unit. Yeah. The C. The other lady part. Maybe mine is only C unit. The lady part. Right. There was no I in there. Right. C unit. C unit. That's what I call it. It's also revive your work schedule month. So those people out there who are jealous that other people get work, get days off on Fridays and you don't. You have to work and they have to do a half day. Like look at your your schedule and see what it is you could be doing. And as for actual days that we are celebrating with. You know we call it celebrating today. Today we have. World Information Society Day. We told you yesterday you can celebrate that by telling all of your friends at grand theft. Audio radio is the best show you've ever heard in your life. Right. You should continue that and make that your mission today. Blow off whatever you have. Blow off whatever work you have the rest of the day. I mean you're supposed to help that that family get their kid back. Fuck that. I mean go on Facebook go on Twitter tell everybody you're supposed to you know go and wash elderly's balls so they don't get like a rash on the backside of it. Fuck that. Go on Facebook go on Twitter go on make your own website that we love. Grand theft audio radio and tell all your friends that they have to go there and listen to it too. This is your mission. Listeners. It's not even if you choose to accept it. This is just. The shit you're dealing with now. And that's the information we have to give you. That's it man. The other things are World Telecommunications Day so. Use your phone. Skype your granny. Skype your granny. You can use your. Hopefully granny knows what Skyping is. Hopefully. But I'd be surprised if she actually does. Unless you're like a good kid and you tell her what's going on. Yeah. So today's offerings not that impressive. But there are a couple tomorrow that I will. Look forward to participating in. I do this one just about every day. It's I love Reese's Day. You know Reese's peanut butter cups and Reese's pieces. Reese's pieces. I love those. So I'll totally do that. For my hillbilly friends tomorrow's a NASCAR day. Sweet. I think that's the dumbest worst waste of time ever. Boogity boogity boogity let's go racing boys. It's just the worst waste of time ever. Tomorrow's also endangered species day. So if you see like a creature that is you've never seen before. Kill it. Make sure like make it endangered. We do not. This isn't national bring back endangered species day. This is. I wonder when national taxidermy day is. There probably is one. Oh I'm certain that there is. If there's for all these other things. Oh I'm sure. I'm sure. Hey at one point taxidermy was you know you talk about a town that's going to have you know specific things. Small towns had taxidermists. Yeah. And they're going to have to put a bunch of bucks in it because especially hunting towns. Want to bring in that deer that eight point buck. Yep. Pretty much. I believe the banjo is required to be played in the taxidermist. Whoop out his brains and stuff them with cotton. That's right. Put them on my wall. It's just like who's into that. I'm going to look up when it is. I can't wait till we celebrate that day. Have you ever like gone to a house and seen somebody who has the buck heads to the side of the house. The buck head sticking out of the wall. Yeah. And thought that it looked good. My parents have a buck's head over the fireplace at the main room. I forgot that. So it doesn't and here's the thing. I grew up loving the country bear jamboree at Disneyland. Uh huh. Absolutely adored it. And loved the three mounted heads on the wall. The moose. The deer and the bear. Yeah I am. I was very disappointed when that show was said goodbye to. But uh. What if I told you they are still up in Disneyland today. Oh awesome. I learned about it last time I was there. Okay. I asked one of the operators of a ride. So any secrets on this ride? Is there anything that most people don't know? They said to me that this used to be the location of the country bear jamboree. What ride is this? And if you look backwards on the map. You can see the jamboree. Oh. The Winnie the Pooh ride. Which is in the spot the country bear jamboree used to be in. Okay. You can see relics from the old country bear jamboree show. One of them being the three mounted heads from the show. When you turn backwards when Pooh is going. Hufflepuffs and woozles. Hufflepuffs and woozles. When he is spinning through the air after his honey induced dream. You can look backwards and see the three heads. Okay. I was pretty excited to see that. Yeah. I was pretty excited to see that. Yeah. Because I missed them. I mean I love the country bear jamboree show. With like that bear that came out that did like that girl. Oh yeah. The female bear. Yeah. And the piano player. He was just always fun to watch play. It's like that whole level of entertainment stuff is just kind of gone. I mean does Chuck E. Cheese even have a performing stage with like the animatronic. I don't think so. I think they take them out. They are tremendously expensive to keep up and running. And they don't hold up very long especially in a kids restaurant. So. I love those. All you can really get for animatronic entertainment now is like. The Hall of Presidents. Which is still there. Great moments with Lincoln is all we have here. Oh so the Hall of Presidents is completely gone now. Never been here. Oh I thought they had the full president one here. No that was in Florida. Okay. Here we've only ever had great moments with Lincoln. I mean I think the animatronic you're getting these days. Do they still have them in the Star Tourism line? Yeah. There's a couple of them. But you can't really sit down and watch their shows. I mean you whiz past an animatronic Indiana Jones. Or the abominable snowman. Right. From the Matterhorn. You know it's a shame that they didn't continue to use those three stuffed heads. I'd love to see them like where they would be. Somewhere where you're walking by or sitting. Like if you're sitting down to eat or something. And they were interactive. Like they would. Crack wise throughout. And have different jokes at different hours. That you know the three of them would. And it wouldn't be a full show. But they'd come on for a couple of minutes. And then they'd disappear. Or they'd sit around and act as if they're watching people as they go by. Even put like motion sensors. So that it kind of fixates on something. And they watch a child walk away. Or an adult walk by. And then make some kind of comment. I always like it. It's like those little fun little parts at Disneyland that are just so impressive usually. I think it's my mission now to find all the small little things like that. I spent one of my days going up and down Main Street on one of my recent visits. And they have these little plays that happen. Coming from the windows. So like it'll air every seven, eight minutes. Or it'll broadcast every seven or eight minutes. Like this tiny little story that is just meant to be background noise. To make everything come together and feel like a real city. But they're all funny. And they've got little jokes in them. And they're actually pretty cute. And I think that's what I like about Disneyland. They're actually pretty cute. Another new thing I've been trying to track down in Disneyland. All those tiny little things. I didn't know that Disneyland. I can't believe I didn't even know this. They have a petting zoo. Yeah. I had no idea. Isn't it over by the Thunder Mountain? How have I never gone through that side? I guess I always go in and out the same entrance to it. It's that weird connection between Fantasyland and Adventureland. Yeah. And it really is on that back side. It used to be the borough. The adopted boroughs. Walt Disney himself was one of the charities that he was very fond of. Was protecting these wild boroughs. And the ones that were used as pack animals. And the ones that were used as pack animals. So he had a little section that was not a farm per say. So he had a little section that was not a farm per say. But it was like a reserve for them. But it was like a reserve for them. And then I think it's transitioned into multiple things. And then I think it's transitioned into multiple things. Because it's a nice little chunk of property on Disneyland. That really wasn't making any money. It was just kind of a show. And it wasn't even a show. It just opened in city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city city The good news about that is they're bringing back Videopolis. Really? Yeah. So you can go to- In Disneyland or is it part of- Okay. So it's not part of- It's crazy. They'll have the late night electronic music dance parties. Cool. So I'm very excited by that. I missed that. That was a lot of fun. Mm-hmm. And so they've now put the princesses over in Carnation Pavilion right off of the Main Street- Right. A hub right onto the- Left of the- Left of the castle. The castle. And so that'll be a good spot for it. I'm sure they'll do a lot more business now up front. Oh, yeah. Because you can't hardly get anywhere without walking past it now. And that's a cash cow for them. If you're a little girl and you're walking around Disneyland and you're not wearing a princess uniform, princess outfit, you must feel like shit. Because every other little girl- You're going to have one by the end of the day. You got to have it. I mean, all the other little girls are dressed as all these different princesses. And if you don't have one, it's like your parents don't love you. I think there must be something subliminal. There's something subliminal that's going on in the music inside the small world. Like adults can't hear it. Like to the boys, all you hear is, buy me a lightsaber right now. I will cry and break all your stuff. It's all about the subtext? Yeah. Right. That's right. All about the subtext. The subliminal messaging in the small world song. That's right. Probably in all the songs. All the songs. Yo-ho, yo-ho. Buy a sword from us. Yeah. You need a pirate. You need a pirate. There's just all sorts of things that kids have to have there. You know what I got to say? That was one of my favorite shops to go into. And I've been disappointed the last couple of times going into it. But the one that did carry all the pirate stuff, like the swords and the gold coins and the chocolate gold coins, stuff like that. It was just a cute little shop. And I always loved going in there and playing with like the old cap guns. Oh, yeah. They were awesome. Which you had to use with like the paper caps where you would stick a single paper cap in there and pull the trigger. Then you'd have to reload that. It's totally a worthless shop. It's a worthless shop now. Yeah. Unless you are really, really into Nightmare Before Christmas. Is that what? Half of their inventory in there is. Wow. So, I mean, they're going after the people who are going out here this weekend. This is like the bats day is what they call it. Where all the people who consider themselves spooky because I'm a goth. They all head out to Disneyland this weekend. Yeah. And that's about the gothiest thing you can buy there. Oh, yeah. Hey, Jackson. I think it's one of their like... Patron saints? Yeah. That's a perfect word for it. They're one of their patron saints. That movie has such an effect on apparently all goths that this is... You all have to dress like this. It'd be nice if they could bring in some of their other movies together and have some merchandise from it. Because they would sell big if they brought in like some Edward Scissorhand stuff just for like a couple of weeks. Yeah. If Disney owned it, that'd be great. Yeah. I don't know. They probably don't. I don't think they do. I don't think it was a Touchstone or Disney film. I guess The Corpse Bride was Disney, right? No, that was just another Tim Burton one. Really? I think they might have had some production costs offset by one. But I don't think Burton's ever done... Another Disney film? I don't think he's done another Disney film. I think it was just that one. Hmm. I would have to... I'd like to look into that and see. We'll have to look that up during the next break or something. Yeah. Yeah. It is national... What was the one today that makes sense for this? World Information Society Day. Mm-hmm. So I should be able to look it up and find it. Exactly. That way I'll have that information. Through the telecommunications system that we have. It is amazing. Amazing. Amazing. So that takes us through our days. There are a whole bunch of them we're going to go through tomorrow. This weekend is chock full of other weirdness. Hooray! And totally looking forward to doing that. Okay. So we've got a couple of things that are entertainment related that I just... It's like, why do these things... Even matter. Britney Spears, who's now been brought in as one of the judges on The X Factor. There is so much speculation about, oh, is she going to be able to keep her shit together and do a good job here? Because apparently during the upfronts, which is where they sit down in front of the media for the first time and they talk about the show and they try to get people to watch it. She was just a wooden Indian, scared to death person, not saying anything, chewing gum up on stage in front of her. You can't get on a microphone chewing gum. Right. I mean, who does she think she is? Carl Kozlowski? Huh? Huh? I can't tell you how many times I tried to watch it. She made... She just makes this guttural... I think it's supposed to be the word, huh? Like, as in what? But she just squirts it out of her awful being like, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Ask Britney Spears a question. Huh? Ask Britney Spears a question. Hey, Britney Spears. So, are you looking forward to judging? This year's talent that's going to be coming on your new show. Huh? Huh? Huh? She just does it like, what's going on here? This is awful. I mean, has she bit off more than she could chew? Is this too big of a job for her to sit here and tell someone you suck or you're good? I mean, the qualifications it takes to be a TV judge are so minimal. Yeah. It's not like you're actually being asked to really teach them how to do something. You just say, oh, that was great or, oh, that was not great. Is that going to be too much for this, I don't want to call her a genius because she's obviously much smarter than that. Well, who knows? Maybe she's also getting ready to record another album and that's just the added stress. Huh? Yeah. Huh? That's what the album's going to be called. Like, oops, I, huh, it again. Because she's just, she's just the worst. Yeah. But I got to say, man, you get me a new judge and I'm probably going to tune in. I'm probably going to tune into this. I've been turning, tuning into America's Got Talent just because Howard Stern's on it. Yeah. Worked for you there. Worked for them there. I don't know how the ratings are actually coming in, but it seems like it's actually like almost must see TV now. He's really compelling. Yeah. I like it. It works for me. Another reality TV thing is that we have hit the end of the road for, um, the celebrity apprentice this week. And, uh, you know, there's always like, Oh, who's going to win there. It's now leaked who the winner of the show is supposed to be. And, um, the site that has, uh, come out and said it has been right. 85% of the other times that they have broken who has won it. So spoiler alert. Should I, should we say who won or should we just follow these people's results and see if they're correct? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. by saying who they think is good, that they say who's the winner is and we'll find out when the winner is actually announced. Well, they say that, uh, Arsenio Hall is the one who pulls away with the victory this weekend. Okay. That doesn't surprise me that he becomes Donald Trump's new celebrity apprentice. Oh, all right. Well, cool. I've been watching it and enjoying it. So it's kind of like, um, I don't know what these companies has to do to be able to hold on to a secret now in Hollywood, because it seems like, um, there's so much, you know, people who just want to be able to say what's going on with it mm-hmm what how long has because the Nielsen ratings came out today on the paper so I was trying to see where America's Got Talent landed when was its first episode this week so okay so this one this one see until next week so we won't actually see those there should be some overnights on I'm sure online there I was just saying since they have one of the things I like about the Thursday paper is getting to see what Americans are watching and apparently it's a lot of American Idol and NCIS and we won't know on America's Got Talent I can probably pull it up real quick but yep let's see the top 10 in TV we've got like I said NCIS American Idol has won two nights dancing with the stars the results had one night Big Bang Theory's number six NCIS Los Angeles number five CBS has got quite a dude they've got six out of the top ten well that doesn't surprise me a lot of old there's not a lot of old still watch network television and there's not the appeal to there's not an NBC show in the top ten didn't realize how stinky NBC was doing in the ratings I guess it's been a couple years problem now it's been a while since they've had oh gosh what's the word they used to use over at NBC a hit right it's been a bit a while since they've had one of those they've read a couple of books about the past history of the station when the network when they had some hits but it's been a while it has been I can't remember the last time I really excited oh that series life was the last NBC show that I was actually when I saw previews I was like oh this looks like it could be good yeah not a hit it was not a hit I mean even the things that they pretend are hits like you can keep telling me that people are watching community and you can keep telling me that people are watching 30 rock but it's bullshit like no one ever comes up to me and like hey did you see what happened on their right ever ever like it is not a compelling show that anybody needs to watch in any way. NBC's got their top show is The Voice with the results episode at number 11. Yeah, and I'm sure it did okay. Stunt programming, I'm sure it did okay. Yeah. I'd like to know what their highest ranking scripted show. Let's see. Not The Voice. I'm just looking through the... I'm going to guess maybe... On Sunday nights. Grimm? No. That's on Sunday nights? Yep. Harry's Law. Oh, yeah. Number 31. Oh, man. Oh, man. That's that chick that just drives me crazy, right? Yeah. Kathy Bates, is she the one who stars in that? I believe so. Yes, that is. That's Harry's Law. I cannot watch that. I would rather live through the movie Misery, like myself, than have to watch that. I would rather watch that show. Is Smash one of their scripted shows? It is. Okay, that's number 49. All right, so they got themselves a top 50. Yep. Not bad. They're turning the corner. Wow. You know, I'm shitting on them, but I can't get... Off of their rockers? Is that one? Not a scripted show. Oh, that's the Betty White one. Dude, it's so awful. It's old people, candid camera. It's so awful. It's like Betty White doesn't even do anything on it. All she does is introduce little video clips of people who were obviously young in old makeup doing things that old people shouldn't do. So, like, you'll have a dude who puts on a gray hair and, like, some glasses, and then he goes out, and he looks like an old man, old people walk in, and then some kids walk by with skateboards, and he busts out his skateboard, and he does some totally radical moves, man, and then leaves. He leaves. And all the kids are like, whoa, did we just see that? I mean, is that funny? Whoa, did we just see that? It's not funny at all. It's saying it's their reaction. It's obviously these kids' reaction to seeing a person in old people's makeup doing... Let me show you their reaction, and this will really work on the radio. Whoa, did I just see that? You know, like, kids these days, it's like they're afraid to show emotion or something. Like, they just are... They can't look at each other like, should we be surprised by this? Or... I think there's like some weird-ass syndrome that's going around that's based off of, like, vampire coolness, where you have to be emotionless and, like, to show... If you're not more like a vampire? Yeah. If you're not emotionless and smooth and you show that nothing gets to you, then it's like you're a nerd or something. I think these kids are just so, like, scared of showing any type of emotion. You know what I mean? It can be summed up with, like, that girl from Twilight. Kristen Stewart. Dude, you're asking the wrong guy. Okay, well, I watched an interview with her on Jay Leno, and it was so uncomfortable to watch because she just doesn't want to say or, like, really do anything, and she just kind of crosses her arms and talks really quietly and... That's great. So she was really uncomfortable. Uncomfortable on stage? No, I think this is the new, like, the new cool. I mean, it's to not show any emotion and just kind of keep it quiet. Almost monotone-ish. And boxed up and, like, you can't really show your freaky flag colors. You've got to just be normal and quiet. Like, don't look at it. It embarrasses me. You're embarrassing me. I just think there's, like, this weird thing going on. Like, I see these kids, man. I spent last summer doing a camp counselor type thing at a Tom Sawyer camp here in our area, and that's the way these kids act. They just act like... I can't tell if they're all drugged out by their parents and they're all on Ritalin or something. They just have no ability to be able to let it all out. But kids aren't supposed to be quiet, and they're not supposed to be sitting there. Like, you can't even... You can't even tell they're in the room. Kids are supposed to annoy you and say, get the fuck out of here. Like, I can't stand listening to you anymore. Leave. Go. Get out of here. That's what you want, is to be able to be able to say that? No, that's not the way I want it, but that's the way it's supposed to be. Oh. I mean, it's not supposed to be kids are all quiet sitting in the corner handling themselves quietly. You should be like, shut up. Go play on the freeway. Go kill yourself. Get out of here, you filthy animals. I blame the phones. I blame smartphones. Every kid is just... Fascinating. I'm watching... At the restaurant, I'm watching three- and four-year-olds who the parents will just hand them, and they'll just sit there playing Angry Birds. They don't know exactly what they're doing, but they're going to sit there and play it, and it's amazing how... Actually, it's kind of nice. If you're going to bring your kids, having those things is great because it does tend to keep them occupied and quiet instead of running around the restaurant, potentially getting underfoot. I had a couple of kids the other day that one almost, like, ran right into me as I'm carrying food. It's... You think to yourself, oh, man, can't your kids... No, no. Can't your parents get you, and I think... Can you get your phone so you can be distracted? Where is your DVD player? Where's your little portable DVD player at the very least? Come on. Where's the iPad? No, I... No, it's just... He was a little kid. He didn't know what he was doing. He was running around, but certainly it's nice when they don't. But you're right, man. These phones are changing kids' behavior and the way things happen. I was over at another friend's house, and there were two kids that were sitting on a couch together, and I see they're both, like, going on their phones. They got the thumbs working fast. I'm like, oh, what are you guys doing? I go, oh, we're talking. I'm like, like, what do you mean? I go, oh, we're just writing back and forth. I'm like, turn your fucking head and talk. Like, you have to... Texting is the way to go. You have to text when you're sitting next to the person that you want to text to. Like, just turn your head. I was shocked this weekend. I was in my living room, and my wife is in the house, and she texted... Texted me from the other room. What the fuck is that? Like, call. Jake! Jake! I'd be like, what? What's going on or something? Like, it's actually kind of annoyed me to pick up this text from someone who's in the fucking house with me. Right, get up off the couch and walk to the door and say, Jake. I was on the couch. I mean, like... Oh, you were on the couch. She was just in another room. Yeah, she was in another room. Oh, I thought you were outside, and she texted you from inside to outside. I mean, that was like... It wasn't an important text. I mean, I guess it wasn't. It was an important text. Oh, okay. She's lucky that I had my phone in my hand and I was looking at it or that I heard it go off and went over and got it because if she just called out and told me, guaranteed would not have missed it. I would have heard what was happening, registered it like, oh, then I have to change my behavior by doing this. Instead, she's just kind of hoping that I go over to this phone and pick it up and then somehow do what I've been asked to do. That's funny. That's really funny, man. It just pissed me off. I'm like, I don't do that to her. I don't just send her texts when I'm, you know, where's the mayonnaise and I'm in the kitchen. I'm just not doing that. And she's in the living room, so there's just a wall between you. I think that's the way it's going to be. You know how small... My house isn't tiny, but you know the size of it. Yeah. You can call from the back room to the living room very easily. Just say the name loud enough. Yeah. Just say it out loud. Yeah. You're more than likely going to hear it. Yeah, and I'm a very responsive dude. I stay on top of my... I stay on top of my stuff. Like when I'm... Right. When I know something's going on and someone... And I'm trying to do something, like I wasn't trying to ignore what was going on. This was the only way I... This was the only way I could get through to you. Your head is in that phone so much that the only way I can even make you pay attention to me was by sending you a message. No, this wasn't that. I mean, this was just... Nah. A little bit too lazy. Then didn't. This is the way it is now. That's just awesome. I'm sure... Now, this is going to be my life now. I mean, it's already started. Well, you know, okay. Every time I see one of those little scooters with the... Whether they're a handicapped person or not. I mean, because there are times where you sit there and go, really, you can't walk? The little rascal? The little rascals. The hover round? The hover rounds, all those. I look at those and I immediately think to myself, there's no need to walk. Well, now with phones, there's no need to talk. Yeah. You'll just text each other from now on. Okay, I will... You know what? Here's what it's going to come down to is you'll have just finished having sex with your girl and it was really nice. You've had a great day and she's going to text you. So what are you thinking? And you're going to have to sit there and go, nothing? It's always the response I have. It's like, after sex, I'm not thinking about anything. I'm sitting there going, ah, that was great. Can I pretend I'm asleep through it? Can I just give like, zee, zee, zee, zee, zee, zee, then click send? We don't fall asleep. We just don't want to fucking talk. I mean, like, we've got what we wanted. We've had the conversation. And now... And you've got to... Usually, if we've gotten it, we've done a lot to get to that. So it's like, hey, we're... Yeah, it's time to go to sleep. I mean, if I'm going to talk, it's going to be, make me a sandwich. Because that would be nice. In fact, if that was the text that she gave you, it's like, I'm hungry. Would you like a sandwich too? You'd be like, why yes? And you would text back, why yes? You wouldn't even answer. Or if she texts, like, what are you thinking about? Like, are you going to make me a turkey or roast beef sandwich? These are the important things that... I must know. But I mean, really, man, this is going to be my life now. It has already started. Now that I am starting to have text communications at home, it's just going to be... It's unlimited texting, man. That's why they did it. I got to switch the fucking plan I'm on then. Because I do not want to have the unlimited ability to just get as many of these as I want. I will say, I wasted a couple of texts last night. I wasted 10 full texts last night. On what? I stupidly, actually voted on American Idol. 10 times? 10 times. 10 times. 10 times, dude. It doesn't cost you anything to do it. No, I mean, I have unlimited and it's... It just says standard text rate messages apply. So this isn't something where it costs $1.99 to be able to... Right. Have to do it. But there's just one guy on there I like so much. And I'm like, if this guy doesn't make the finals, I'll be pretty pissed. There's a dude named Philip Phillips. Nice name. Yeah, it's very... Philip Phillips. It's very annoying. But he's so much more talented to me than these other people that I actually decided to vote. I haven't voted on that in multiple seasons. It's been a long time. And I usually watch him. I just don't care enough to vote. I'm like, my vote doesn't really count. But it's that type of thinking that gets your dudes eliminated. So I thought, vote for my guy, Philip Phillips. Philip Phillips is my homie. And I'm going to make sure that if I... If it was up to you, he'd be in. Yeah, if it was up to me, completely he'd be in. I think my guy, my phone is messing with the speakers here. I'm going to move it farther away. Because that stuff does affect things. Even though it says like, oh, it's FCC approved and it's not going to mess with these other things. Sometimes it seems like it does, doesn't it? Dude, I got this phone when I was working in a pretty nice office. I couldn't walk from one side of the office to the other without everyone's speakers at their desks getting messed up as I got closer. It's like having a bell around your neck as a cat, like letting people know you're coming. It was just... Everybody... Oh, Jake's here. Oh, Jake's coming. Oh, Jake's coming. Yeah. I mean, it announced that I was going to be there about seven, eight seconds before I got there, which is unacceptable because I like sneaking up on people. You're like a ninja like that. I'm like the office ninja. I will do all sorts of just wild ass shit. Really, you don't want me as a coworker like that because shit will go wrong. Yeah. That's what I like to do, mess with people. I can't really help that. That's just who I am. I was a baby. I was born that way. Yep. Can't change that. And I'm not going to go out of my way to change it. You know, and for the most part, going out of your way to change something barely even works. I've been looking at these shoes for a while, those Skechers with like the shape-ups where they have that big scoop on the bottom where it's like you... Yeah, they're worthless. You work your ass. They're worthless? Worthless. I bought a pair at Black Ones. They were their work version ones and there was no slip guard, no slip protection for it which really surprised me with that kind of a shoe and the environment it was intended to be worked in, some kind of slip resistance would be nice. And honestly, it just made walking more uncomfortable than anything. I did not feel any change and I then heard later that all these claims were basically false. That they do not work. But what has intrigued you about them? They just look like... Okay, Joe Montana, back to pass. He does commercials for them. Yeah, well, he did. Kim Kardashian. Really? I didn't know she did a commercial for them. And, you know, she looks like her legs are in good shape. Probably better shape than her butt says it should be. I mean, it's not often you see an ass that big with legs that look kind of small. It's like, I was kind of just figured that like Skechers was doing it for her. Right. Like, they look, they just look awesome. They make you a little bit taller. Okay. Yeah, dude, I'm already tall enough. That was one of the other things is like, I felt like I was like 6'7 walking around in those shoes. It was ridiculous. So I just looked this up to find the Kim Kardashian thing. And Skechers, yesterday, wow, that's crazy, had to pay $40 million to a class action lawsuit admitting that their shape-up shoes do nothing. And they were like, it's amazing. All they did was make a scoop on the bottom of it and then told everybody, hey, no, this is the new thing. And now they have to pay $40 million in like apologies to people and free shoes. They probably made more than that. Because if I was buying them at Ross for 25 bucks, that means they were probably $50 to $75 at a retailer. So if you bought a pair of the shoes or of Skechers Resistance Runner toners or tone-up shoes, you can go follow them. And then you can also get a $50 refund, which most of the settlement will go towards paying people out for the full price of their shoes. Because the advertising was based upon it doing something for you, not being a fashion thing. Right. So $40 million, that's crazy. I guess this week also, Reebok had to settle with another class action lawsuit for $25 million for similar claims that they made on their toning shoes as well. Yeah, their toning shoes, they don't do anything either. Dang it, dude. I was totally thinking that I wasn't even going to have to work out. I could just buy those shoes. That's what a lot of people thought was going to happen. I got to say, I thought that about six or seven years ago and I still never bought the shoes. Right. Like, it's, they gave me adequate time to try it. I didn't make it. Yeah. You know, if I'm wearing them, people are going to know it's only so I can look a little taller. I think I still have those shoes sitting in the closet. I don't ever use them. I should see if I can go file for a refund. Oh, you should, dude. I should get my money. These things, these things sucked. You have traditionally always preferred one specific shoe. I mean, anytime I look at you and you're not wearing this type of shoe, I always think, is this the real brand? My Chuck Taylors? Chuck Taylors. I love the All-Stars. That is what you always wear. That shoe kills me, dude. Like, there's no support on that shoe at all to me. Like, it doesn't, if you get it wet, it's just worthless. Oh, it's worthless wet. They're worthless wet. Instantly. Yeah. Like, there's, that is an awful shoe. There's not a lot, there's not a lot, it's, it's, it's, it for me is a fashion thing. There's not a lot of support. You're right. There's, it's amazing they used to play basketball in those. It's crazy. I mean, we used to when we were younger. I think we had to, we, I think we had to get those in seventh and eighth grade for PE together. Like, that was a shoe that they made you get because that was their uniform shoe and they hurt my feet like bastards. Yeah. They weren't, they weren't fun. They're, they're, they're good for short distances. They're not, they're not a walking shoe for sure. I have found some success though with the Dr. Scholl's inserts, like the actual, uh, ones where you have to go stand on the, on the sensor. Oh, Dr. Scholl's inserts. They're like 50 bucks, but, uh. Oh, the really good ones where you do the foot sensor? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I haven't gone that direction. I, I, those, I put those in, in the chucks and they certainly make it a, a much more comfortable shoe. I think it's, it's definitely because of the impact that there's so much cushioning in those things. Well, you enjoy those. I'm still gelling. Yeah, you're still gelling. You're still Dr. Scholl. Uh, mine are, are a gel insert. Well, that sounds pretty good. They're pretty nice. Your feet are living in the fast lane. they're definitely, do they have made such a difference at work? I mean, walking around in those. Oh, being on your feet all the time, I'm sure that is a massive difference. Yeah. Hey, I just got a message from our guests. Excellent. Uh, they have gone to our old studios. Oh. So, they are, uh, I can't hold it against them. I'm not going to embarrass them and say who, who it was. Right. But they would like to reschedule with us next week. Okay. So, yeah. Yeah. I should kick my own ass for this. You know, these Skid Row Studios, they're not that hard to find. No. It's, uh, Skid Row Studios, um, down here in downtown LA. You know what we should be doing right now though? We should be out there on the streets because there is a big movie star who they say has disappeared into Skid Row this week. Wait, what? Um, Casey, there's a actor, his name is Nick Stahl. Right. He starred in, um, the last Terminator film. He played John Connor as, as the young adult version of him with the, with the female Terminator coming after him, right? He was, yeah, that's correct. Okay. That's that guy. He was last seen heading down to Skid Row here in Los Angeles on May 9th. And, um, more than a week ago. Yeah, he is. Yeah. I think he had to be gone for like three days before they can even, I think it's 48 hours. Is it? I thought it was 72. Um, but I could be wrong, but it is believed that Nick Stahl has, has been frequenting, um, a really heavy drug area in Skid Row, downtown Los Angeles. And that, um, some people are afraid that he may have gotten himself involved in like a bad situation. And now he's, um, been, I mean, missing for a week, dude. Wow. Yeah. We're going to have to take a little trip down through Skid Row later this afternoon when we get done with the show. And while the sun is out, because I'm not going down there after dark. That's crazy. I don't want to let the cat out the bag, but we're not really in Skid Row here. I was scared to death when I heard that's what this was. But, uh, then I found out that we're, we're a few blocks away. Right. It wouldn't be a long walk. The first location was in Skid Row. So that's where the name came from. I believe. Were you with the station back when it was there? Yeah. Towards the end. Was it scary? Uh, when you walk out and it's dark and you see crack deals right in front of you and prostitutes, it could be a little weary. Intimidating. Yeah. Half of that sounds pretty good. Like the crack deals. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of fun to watch. I'm sure that sounds crazy. But, um, apparently, uh, this guy is just, um, disappeared down into that. And that's a pretty easy community, community of people to disappear into. Oh yeah. I mean, it's just a transience and other people who are, I mean, most people don't stay there that long. Yeah. Like they, they're, they're a bum. They realize, um, hey, Skid Row, like there's probably something good going on down there. What do you think his chances are? Um, being found alive or? Probably not. It's not good, dude. I'm saying there's a 50, 50 chance we're ever going to see this guy again, potentially, especially alive. I'm going to go a little, I'm going to go, I'm going to take the under on that. Really? Yeah. You think less than 50% chance he'll be alive? Dude, that's a scary place, man. And if you're known as somebody who, you know, if you looked at it as like, oh, he started in the Terminator movies. I bet that, I bet that motherfucker's got some money. Like, let's get him. Or if he's going down to, if he's, if he was frequenting a heavy, a heavily drug area, bad drug deal gone wrong? Could have just, could have just bought some bad drugs. Bad drugs period. And decided to go shoot it up behind a dumpster, and they haven't moved that trash in the last week. It's quite possible. Or he was sleeping in the dumpster, and he's been taken to the dump. Dude, that's just, that's awful. But I'll tell you what, this increases my chances of starring in Terminator 4. It certainly does. I mean, it's one out of the way, sucker. Well, next time, I hope you're okay, and I'm sure you're not listening, because I don't think very many transients have a Wi-Fi radio, but. That'd be pretty awesome if that's what he was, doing though. Like, no, no, I went down to Skid Row Studios, and. Yeah. Has anybody checked our couch out front? Like, there's like a pile of something on it. Like, maybe that's him under that pile. It's possible. No, we have no piles of things on our couch. Our couch is very clean and nice. It's meant for superstars to sit on. Exactly. All of our amazing guests. I'm doing a real good job on this week. Actually, you've booked a great number of guests. It's just unfortunately, last minute cancellations. Yeah. A few of them. I mean, that's the way it happens. It does. It does. And honestly, I don't even think we need them most of the time. No. But today's really sounded like it was going to be a fun. Yeah. I tried to make sure that, so today's supposed to be something about us in the LA Weekly, about our show, and it should be hitting the streets about now. Right. Knowing how late they deliver and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. As soon as I get out of here, I've got to get on the streets and start trying to find an issue of it. Yeah. So I was like, oh yeah, you know, the show comes, that article or whatever it is comes out today. So let's get you on like when we have heavy listenership. But it'll work out tomorrow. Tomorrow, I can guarantee our guests are not going to cancel on us. I know we have three people coming in. Tomorrow we have the writer from Ellen. She's coming in in our second hour. One of our comics, Sunda, in the, in the first hour. And then we have a all day long guest host. One of my best friends in the world, the guy who presided at my wedding. And I had your sister's wedding. Yeah. My sister's as well. I'm the guy by the name of Joe Bovee. Super stoked about getting them in here. A very interesting guy. And I'm here to talk about Eastern religious prophets. And at the same time, he'll be able to tell you like why this beer, is better than that beer. Total grounded dude. Happy to bring him in. Okay. So let's talk about some random stuff. Sure. There is a billboard that went up this week for one of both of our favorite shows. And you got to say, this is a pretty inappropriate billboard. Would you like to describe to our listeners? You know it well enough? I think so. It's a large orange billboard. Looks like it's spandex. Looks like it's like made out of spandex. And they're, appears to be what seems to be three. The sign says it's been fully erected. Fully torqued. Fully torqued. Which is their term for boners. Right. Fully torqued. And it looks like three erections pushing through what would be spandex. It's a tight butthole and torqued. It does look pretty funny. I mean, it looks like three dudes. I mean, it's kind of creepy too. So like these three dudes are all hanging out in one spot. Right. With their dicks out. I mean, it is a little weird. It fits the crassness of the show. It certainly does. It's a crass show, but I love it. I mean, it's one of my favorite shows in the last few seasons. I think it's absolutely hilarious and I can listen to it, watch it at almost any time. It's one of those few shows that I can actually watch a replay of. Do you remember the start date for the new season? Because I know it's a month away, I think. It comes back on May 29th. Wow. So, two weeks. Yeah. Sweet. Getting close. Can't wait. One of our headliners from Saturday night, Eric Griffin, is a secondary role on that. He plays Montez. Mm-hmm. And it'll be cool to get him on the show. He is very funny. Yeah. I'm looking forward to having him on Saturday's show too. Yeah. It should be awesome. Can't wait. I love that show. It's like live action South Park in some way. It really is. It's just that nasty and crass. If any of our listeners haven't seen it, it's about three recent college grads who are just kind of dealing with kind of growing up. They had it pretty easy in college and now they've got telemarketing jobs as college graduates. They live in a house as roommates. Have you ever done telemarketing? Never. No. Please don't. I've done it. It's fucking awful. I would imagine. Please don't ever ask me to. I can't do it. It is as soul-sucking of an experience as you can ever imagine. Ever have. You just, when you know that people hate you instantly, it just, it just kills whatever creativity and happiness you have inside you. The one thing about that job, it was the easiest job to disassociate myself and my brain from once I walked out the door. Like almost every other job, like when you leave, you start thinking, oh man, tomorrow I got to work on this or tomorrow I got to work on that. This, you're just a fucking robot that sits in front of it and has the same conversation. Hello, sir, is the, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, is the manager, Yeah. Right at dinner time. Are you interested in switching your auto insurance? No, thank you. Do you have a toner, like a printer? Because we have a very cheap toner for sale. No, thanks. How about gardening services? These are all things you had to do? I've worked for all these companies, yes. Wow. So, hey man, one thing about it, they're the easiest jobs to get ever and I was a very irresponsible dude for a long time. I was a very irresponsible dude for a while to the point that like, if I had a date on a Friday night and that wasn't a payday week, I would get myself fired that Friday so that I could be given my last paycheck before I went home. Right. So I could have money for the date. So I would go in that morning knowing that I had a date that night and I needed to be fired by about noon. Right. I would just do three hours of just... Awful, awful shit? Yeah. Like the type of stuff that, we can't keep you around here anymore. Hey, Jake, would you mind sitting down for just a minute? We don't think this is working out. So, here's your last paycheck. Look, now you know by law you have to have my last paycheck here right now, right? Because you're firing me? Yeah, exactly. You just leave. I remember one morning I was gonna get fired because I had a date. I mean, we really did this four or five times. Yeah. I decided that I was just gonna go sit in my car and just call up Mark and Brian because they were giving out tickets to some event that weekend. Right on. And when I finally actually made it on the air and they're like, oh, you won. I'm like, oh, that's awesome. Like, I'd like to tell my boss that I've totally been fucking around all morning and done nothing and it's probably time to fire me. Then I went inside and true to my prediction, I was fired instantly. I had money to go out and do the event that I just won tickets to. What'd you win tickets to? It was, well, it sounds awful now, but this was me like 1997. So it was a while ago and it was like a singles party. Oh, right on. Yeah. So I'm married now. So like, obviously, I don't need those tickets anymore. But at the time, I'm like, I've got to get these tickets. Yeah, indeed. I got to see them, bitches. That's the way I think. That's how you rolled back then. Yeah, that's right. I have now changed the word in my brain from bitches to ladies. Ladies. That's been the progression of my, um, misogynism. Mm-hmm, good. I think I can. See, you can change. I can change. I guess I don't need the shapers, sketch, the sketchers shape up shoes after all. Nope, nope. Just, just change the way you can. Hey, man, people change. The perceptions of them change. Like I was reading the story about Robert Downey Jr. and how much money he is supposed to make for doing this one movie, The Avengers. Yeah. The reports are that he brought in 50 million, a $50 million salary for doing this movie. Is that, is that, is that with the back end? Yes. Okay, see, so with... He didn't make, he didn't make squat on the filming of it. He actually made just the, um, the minimum wage scale while actual filming was going on because he got all of his in back end points to the, to the point now where this has been so successful that, um... Already, and there's still more to come. No, they offered him $20 million to do the film in the first place. Right, and he said, no, I'll take stuff on the back end. Yeah, like, um, um, you know, he wanted $20 million. Oh, he wanted $20 million and then they offered... They're like, hey, what if we give you some back end points instead? So now this has cost him two and a half times as much as it would have if he had, if they had just accepted his first offer of the $20 million. Yeah. The other people who shot the movie, they didn't make shit like that. The, the second highest, um, salary for the film was, um, uh, $3 million for Samuel Jackson to do his part. Really? And Scarlett Johansson had the same, um, two, two to $3 million. Like, the most, the rest of the cast, like, um, Chris Hemsworth and Evans and Jeremy Renner and Mark Ruffalo, all of them were under a million dollars each. Wow. So, I mean, that's a huge pay discrepancy. With nothing, nothing on the back end for them? Nothing on the back end for those guys. They'll, they'll probably change that up for Avengers 2. Yeah, I mean, well, I, I think that what happened was Robert Downey Jr. got very lucky that he was the first successful, Oh, yeah. Um, that Iron Man was such a huge hit. And he, he, it really was a huge hit for him too, period. Not just as a, as a box office blockbuster, but, I mean, career-wise for him. Uh, so, yeah, I agree. So, because one and two just made money hand over fist. The third one's on its way. And now he's done the Avengers with the rest of the cast. So. Well, this is the second most amount of money that an actor has ever made for making one movie. Can you guess which is the most? Tom Cruise. No. Tom Hanks. No. Arnold Schwarzenegger. No. Male or female? Male. I'll give you some clues. Okay. Um, we've talked about one of his films earlier today. We've talked about one of his films earlier today. We may have even talked about three of his films earlier today. I'm still blanking on the films we've talked about today. Uh, let's see. What other clue can I give you that won't give it away completely? Um, they're expecting two more in the series. Okay. They're expecting two more in the series. Um, it is based upon it's a, uh, let's see, what else can I do here? It's based upon a, um, oh, that's going to give it away. I would say a, an attraction, but that kind of gives it away. Harrison Ford? Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford is not correct. Okay. But he does have something right next door to Harrison Ford. He has something right next door to Harrison Ford. Right next door to Harrison Ford. I can't believe I'm blanking on this. I can't either. We've talked about three of his movies today. He has something right next door to Harrison Ford. It is a sequel. They're expecting two more films and more of them. What? We've even talked about Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is purported to have made $80 million off of, um, the last, just the last one, just the last of the Pirates of the Caribbean films with higher percentages in the next two. It's to the point where he may off of the six films make $750 million himself. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. And Johnny Depp is just such a a dill hole to me. I mean, he's just, um, he's so into, like, his fashion and how he looks and he's, that dude's like 50 years old and he wears more jingly bracelets than, like, a seven-year-old girl. I don't know how much time it takes him to get ready to leave the house in the morning to, like, oh, okay, I gotta go, but, um, I have to get my belt situated just right. I gotta get one of my three belts on my hips just right. He's just a sucker. Okay, now, you watch Check It Out with Steve Brule. Check It Out. Yes. Okay. With the pirate episode, that was the lookalike, correct? That wasn't Johnny Depp there. I think that was Johnny Depp. I wasn't certain if it was or not. I was positive it was, but there was a point there where, like, he takes the wig off of him, and there was just a reaction that, uh... I think that was a real Johnny Depp. He's made an appearance on that this season, I believe. He's made an appearance on Life is Too Short. Okay. The new Warwick Davis comedy on HBO. Have you seen it? No. Hilarious. It's Warwick Davis who was the midget from, um, I don't want to say the midget from, Warwick Davis, who is a diminutive actor. He played Willow in, um... Oh, right, right, right. And he also played, um, um, Wicket in, um, The Ewoks. The Ewoks. And he was also the Leprechaun. Wow. So he's probably outside of the time bandit midgets who were the time-tested, quality, gold-standard midgets to me. The most successful midget actor. Maybe Billy Barty for a while. Yeah. He was pretty big. Okay, I only knew Billy Barty, though, from The Wizard of Oz. Right. Besides that, I don't know anything else that he ever did. I guess, that's something from my grandpa where he's like, Billy Barty's the most, um, successful midget actor. I don't know if that's true. But, hey, you're gonna take granddad's word for it. I know that they don't like the word midget to be called. Like, midget is a bad... It's not a term. It's not the PC term. They call it the M word. That's their M word? That's the M word to them. I'm not sure if that's true, but that'd be awesome if they did. I think you could just kind of make things up about midgets because the speakers aren't that close to the ground. I mean, they're not gonna hear this. Let's start a war against midgets and the Amish. And the Amish, too? So an Amish midget is just... Wow. He's our prime target. I just think that, um, like, the Amish don't have smartphones to listen to this on. Right. It's pretty unlikely. Though, dude, I guess that's not even true. The Amish have, like, really been relaxing their rules to the point where they are accepting some technology into their lives. There was a story, um, a couple of months ago. It was about this, um... Are they even allowed to use telephones, period? Just, like, landline telephones? There's a story a couple months ago about a guy who started, um, sexting with an underage girl. But in, like, their society, it's, you know, it's not underage to them. Like, when you hit 13 and you haven't been married off yet, then you're kind of an old hag that, um, you get into a desperate situation that you're looking for a man that bad because that's just how the society is. So, this guy got busted for sexting with a 13-year-old girl. This brought up so many questions to me. Like, how did an Amish guy get a cell phone to be able to start, um, texting in the first place? Right. Is he being disrespectful to his God and his way of life by having to plug it in every night? Well, do they even have electricity? Uh, yeah. I mean, how does he do it? Does he, does he have, like, a butter churn that has, like, a generator on the bottom? He probably has to ride the buggy into town and he plugs it into a socket someplace in town to charge it up. I would imagine. Well, I don't think they, I don't think they have electricity. I don't think that they have, uh, um, telephone lines, which, which is surprising considering, you know, the government wants to be able to keep track of everybody, at least having a landline so that if you need to make a 911 call, they'll know where to go. So, this guy, it was a 12-year-old girl that he was going after. Oh, great. Even better. Even worse. He was accused of sending 600 texts, nude pictures, and videos to this 12-year-old girl. Nice. An Amish man with a cell phone soliciting an underage girl for sex. And that's just crazy, man. They, uh, his, her parents, um, uh, took the phone away from her because she was being bad and they started getting all these messages. Um, they got the, the dick pics and they got the, I want to meet up with you pics and, um, he, her parents started setting a trap for him saying that, okay, we want to, I want to meet you so come on over and, like, we're going to get down and, um, he showed up at the house in his horse-drawn buggy. And the police had, like, set up a sting so he was arrested for four counts of soliciting a minor. That's fucking awesome, dude. It's just, um, like, uh, you are not only disrespecting, um, a 12-year-old girl but you're, like, going against your own religion and, um, he's going to get excommunicated from the community. Oh, I'm sure he'll be kicked out of the community. That really goes against everything that they stand, that they believe in. I know you say, like, at 13 or 14, I think you have an arranged marriage at that point and if you haven't then you're considered, like, an old hag because I do know that at the age of, like, 18 and 19 the young people of the Amish faith are allowed to take, like, a year off where they can go out and, or something like that where they actually get to enter the real world and live in the real world for a year, getting to see what technology is like, to see what it's like to go out and experience life as a person of non-Amish faith and then you decide whether you're going to go back to that way of life or if you choose to stay in the world they'll shun you but, uh, they understand. At least they're understanding it. Dude, that would be a tough choice to make to go out and actually see some awesome, awesome things happening in the world and realize, I guess I gotta go back and churn some butter and build a bar and sit in that fucking boogie again. I mean, that's just like a nightmare. I can't even imagine that being like your life. Yeah. It's, uh, incredibly bad. But this idea that, um, I mean, I can't even imagine what type of pickup lines does a, does an Amish guy use? Like, wanna churn butter with me on Saturday night? Maybe he has like a bumper sticker that says, um, if the buggy is a rockin', do not knock it. If. There you go. It's like, ye olde, um, I bring in ye olde rubbers to make sure that you don't get pregnant. They have to use the lambskin ones. Nah. Probably. I mean, you have to make sure that, um, that it's, uh, natural. Yeah. That God approves of it. I mean, somehow God approves of them making those, um, those, uh, fireplaces. I mean, that looks like technology that. No, no, no. Okay, realize, those fireplaces that you see on TV, it's just the exterior part of it. Just the woodwork is done by them. Then they ship those to the company that then puts that little fake fireplace thing inside of it. Oh, okay. So it's handcrafted Amish workmanship on the exterior. On some Chinese heat box? Right. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Well, I really thought that they had some breakthrough there with the Amish people and they were letting them. Oh, they're, they're, they're, they're making money off of that. I'm sure they're getting paid very well for their handcrafted work. At least it's giving jobs to that community. I wonder what the unemployment rate in, in Amish community is these days. I think that if you have an able body you work and I think you, but you do things like you might be out in the, in the fields for a couple of days. Or raising a barn. I mean, it's like hard, hard labor that you do. Laborish, yeah. Man, could you imagine you're sitting there, you've taken your daughter's phone away because she's nasty or whatever's going on and you're sitting there and the first thing comes up and here comes another message and they're getting more and more graphic and here comes a picture of his, I can't imagine what manscaping looks like in the Amish community. I mean, how much hair it must be going on down there. You like those old ladies who get like that beard that goes on with that long flowing fountain beard. I just can't even, I've got to see what that, manscaped, what, okay, look, I'm not going to go gay. I'll see what a lady, Amish, Amish ladies pubes look like. Okay. I can't imagine that they're good. No. Maybe they're like shaped into forms like verses from the Bible. Like that. They trim those in there? Yeah, like, I don't think they have the technology for that. They have all day though. I mean, they use straight edge. If they're able-bodied, they should be out working in the fields. Even though ladies? Even the ladies. Well, they should be tending the flocks and taking care of the kids. I think they're just lucky that Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC wasn't out there to catch this Oh, are you kidding? Chris Hansen probably heard about this story and was like, why weren't we contacted? This would have been such a great story. Watch as our next assailant shows up in a horse-drawn buggy. To fit with the Amish theme, we're going to be using a wooden microphone and no technology at all for this. Sir, do you know why we're here? Have you ever seen the show? No, I've never seen their show. Why is that? What's a show? What do you mean a show? It's a television show. Television? I don't own a television. I'm sorry, you don't own a television? Dude, I'm Amish. Did you not see the buggy out front? This is all magic you guys are doing in front of me. Please stop. Turn the cameras off. That is the best excuse ever. I love that this is all magic because they do go to that. I've seen some Amish arguments and they do go to this is all magic. That's an incredible mindset. Your evil sorcery has no power over me. I am Amish. Yeah, and they totally buy into it and they believe it. It's just crazy to me. It's almost like, okay, let's say that when you were down in South Africa and you have all the amenities and the modern world that's around you and as modern as it gets, that is your standard. That is your New York City of Africa, of America. So it's almost like the Amish are our lost tribesmen pygmy people. Kind of. They kind of got left behind somehow. Who chose to stay behind? It's just a weird concept. I'm sure that these pygmies and those other tribes, like someone's come up to them and been like, hey, come join us. I'm like, oh, no, like, well, they're like, because that's the language that they talk. Yeah. And they've decided to just stay there. Same thing as the Amish. Well, remember there was a story we saw about a year ago about that tribe in South America that no one had ever seen like the face paintings that they had done before. They said they found a tribe that had yet to have any kind of contact with the outside world. Like the plane was flying so low, they came out of the bushes and flung rocks and spears at it because they didn't know what the hell it was. They were scared of it. Yeah, it worked great. But they got a photo of these guys looking up at this thing like they had never seen this giant thing. that was a scary picture. These people were scared to death of that plane. What is this giant flying bird that makes so much noise? But to decide to jump out and start throwing rocks and spears at it to me was amazing. It was incredible. Hilarious. I love that story. But really the Amish are America's pygmy tribesmen. Okay. That's what I'm going to go with. Except for I bet the African pygmy tribesmen, they probably don't make things like apple pie and things that you actually want to buy when you go through there. Oh, they probably make their version of it. Because when you go through those areas, they have wonderful treats to buy. Some of the best tasting most sugar-filled. They don't give a shit about Olestra or some type of diet thing to make things better for you. They put in the real heavy cream. And it's straight out of the cow. And it's amazing. The eggs are fresh that day and the crust has just been rolled and everything's perfect. It sounds amazing. Makes me want to go to Amish country. One of the best meals I ever ate was an Amish country chicken dinner. It stuck in my brain when I was like 1988. That long to really be drilled in. That was an incredible meal. 24 years later to be like, I would like to go back and eat that again. Awesome. I look forward to getting out to Amish country then. It is incredible place. It's very nice. If you have the chance, I highly recommend you check out. Head on out there and check it out. And if you have a chance this Saturday night, we think you should come on down to the Westside Comedy Theater and check us out. What's going on? We got Grand Theft Audio Live. I heard of them. Yeah, they're funny guys. They bring in some of the top comics around town. I hear they have a couple of bad boys. Yes, they are a couple of bad boys. So I heard their show has got Brian Scolaro. Brian Scolaro will be their headliner along with Eric Williams from Griffin. Why did I say Williams? I'm sorry, I'm thinking Harlan Williams for some reason. He just popped into my head. But Eric Griffin from Workaholics. Not Relaxaholics. Not Relaxaholics. Gosh, I wish I was Relaxaholic. I believe that that is the current role that I am in. Is Relaxaholic? Yeah, Relaxaholic. We've got them, we've got writers from the Ellen DeGeneres show, people from Logo, people from HBO, people who've been on all the late night talk shows. It's an incredible, incredible lineup. You've got to come out and check it out. Just $10 at the Westside Comedy Theater. It's way cheaper than any movie you're going to pay to go see. Right. It's a fun little venue and guaranteed to laugh. $3 PBRs, Schlitz, and Tecate. Nice. And also that night I'm going to do a reenactment of one of the most embarrassing moments in one of my best friends throughout his life. It's one of the worst things that's ever happened to somebody. And we're going to do a live on stage reenactment. It's going to be hopefully not all of it will be completely reenacted. I hope so. No, really, I don't want him doing that on the stage. If we cap the show with that and we leave shit behind on the stage for the next show, I don't care. It certainly would let the Mission Improbable guys have something to work with. We are marking our territory this Saturday night. This is ours. This place belongs to him. That'd be awesome if we treated things like we were animals. Because when an animal goes into a new place, he just pisses all over it. This is mine. This is mine. I don't care if it's yours. It's not mine. Walk through the west side on Saturday night and dick's out just pissing on the walls. This is our home now. I'm kind of surprised we haven't done it in the studio yet. Just to mark the area. This is where we are. As soon as management looks the other way, we're totally going to do that. Sure. We probably shouldn't admit to that on the air, right? She's not listening. Let's just go back and erase that and no one will know what happened there. I want to put the last one minute of this show into what to me is a horrific and scary story. There's a story out of Washington about a woman out of Georgia. As soon as I said Washington, I knew I was wrong. She went on a zip-lining adventure. Oh, I've heard this story. This is awesome. It's awful. It's making my skin crawl as we speak. Yeah, and somehow she got a rare bacteria that went like, apparently she gripped the rope too hard and it ripped away at her skin. It was actually a cut on her leg is what happened. And then she went swimming in one of the local rivers. Okay. And this disease is usually something that you can get. It's a flesh-eating bacteria that you can usually, that's usually ingested when you drink the water, too much of this water that she went swimming in. But because she had the open wound, it went in through there and they've had to cut off both of her feet. Yeah. And now they're talking about her left leg completely. Her left leg completely. And they say they're going to have to, she may lose both of her hands. And they haven't told her that she's going to lose her hands because they're so afraid of what the psychological damage of having that happen is going to do to her. And I mean, the picture of the girl, she's a pretty young lady. And it's really a shame that, I mean, it's just ridiculous. I mean, just a gash in her leg and then, and this only happened like a week ago. It's moved so quickly through her body. So then like why is ziplining getting the knock here? If it's from the water, like why is that even part of the story? They just say, I think it's that while on the ziplining trip, she cut her leg while ziplining. So while ziplining, she injured herself. And then afterwards, she went in for the swim. So I don't know. I don't think they're really knocking ziplining. Ziplining didn't do it itself. But that's just a scary, scary story. So I hope that they figure out some way to help this girl because it's just awful. Yeah. Okay, party people, we're down to the last couple seconds of the show. We want to thank you guys for tuning in. Please go to facebook.com forward slash grand theft audio. You can also go to facebook.com I think it's forward slash skid row studios to follow more of the shows that happen here. I'm Jake Belcher and I'm Brant Thoman. We'll see you guys tomorrow.