Transgender and BDSM discussion with Pig Carrie

Good afternoon. Hi. Welcome to the Love Bite. Welcome indeed. The soda slash beer machine at Skid Row Studios is broken. And the one and only time. It's the beer component. Well, yes, that's right. All of the other components are just fine. Except for the beer. The one time that we wanted beer, like during a show. The one fucking time. Whatever. Anyways. We're actually getting rid of that thing in like a week. Thank God. It's going to be picked up soon. I totally texted Jeremy and I was like, the vending machine sucks, by the way. Just saying. Just so he knows. Lodging a complaint. Crappy. The only time we've used it. The only time. And here I am without a beer. I have a Mountain Dew. It's just not the same. No, no. It truly is. So, hi. Hi. Hey, we have a guest. We do. Actually, somebody in studio. Yes. It's not like it's the first time. Well, no, it's not the first time. But certainly, this is going to be a very special hour. Yeah, it's her first time. Yes. Yes, I'm a virgin. I love my virgin. We get this a lot. So, this is our friend, Pig Carrie. Piggy, as we call her. And she's pre-op transgendered. And she has like, you know, like a long story. I, for whatever reason, right now, I feel like you need to make Piggy make sounds. I'm not going to. So, Piggy makes Piggy sounds when she's being beaten or whatever. And that's what she does. And then sometimes she'll even serenade you with show tunes. And with theme songs. It is so zen. It's like, but I get it. Like, you're just, oh, it's just so awesome. It is. It is. So, welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. We're so glad to have you on. I've been wanting to do a transgender show for a while because I just think that, I mean, I even know my own ignorance about the whole topic. So, I would, you know, I think that seems it's an interesting thing for other people to get educated about and to learn more about. Because I think what happens is, we are ignorant about a subject. And so, we just avoid it. Or we approach it with a certain amount of fear. Or because we're tenuous, we don't know what to say to, or when we're dealing with a transgender person, that we just don't talk to them. And that's fucked up. No. Yeah. You know, we don't want to do that. And you're such a dear friend that we can't imagine having this conversation with anyone else. Wow. I feel very comfortable with you. It was the first person that came to mind. Well, thank you. Well, thank you guys so much. I mean, did you? I can't express my feelings, not only for you guys, but the entire Los Angeles community, both transgender community and the BDSM community, for literally, like, welcoming me with open arms. I mean, it took some time, obviously. I've been here for ten years now. But my reputation has grown and grown by leaps and bounds. And when I took that little sabbatical back up to Denver back about a year ago now, and I was only there for like four or five months, I came back. I was like, I'm not going to do this. I was, it was a very overwhelming homecoming that I had. And I, no matter how bad or how good my life may get, I believe I'm stuck in LA for the rest of my life. So you guys are going to have to bury me on the Pacific Ocean somewhere off of Marina Del Rey or something. That doesn't suck. That doesn't suck. Not a little bit. Either that or we could have a barbecue one or the other. I think that is appropriate. Make some baby back ribs, a pork loin, some bacon. Hey, everybody loves bacon. Everybody loves bacon. And I was, I was at the 4th of July party where you were roasted on a spit by, by Mistress Melissa. Oh God, that was. That was awesome. It was awesome on my end too. It really was. It was so cool. It was. If I, from my point of view, if there was only one bad thing about it, I didn't have a head of harness because my head was always leaning back and I was having a blood rush. We probably could have gone a lot longer with it, but it was just, just the pictures that are out there. I mean, I'm not going to post on my FetLife profile or like, Oh God. I wasn't there. So now I need to see this. It was so awesome. It was great. It was probably one of the few times I didn't sing. Well, while you're, you know, distracted by the computer, which is another reason why I'm so glad I don't have it in front of me. I just need to see these, those particular and here they are. I'm just saying that, you know, um, Peggy. Yeah. Walk us through, you know, you, you growing up as a young child. Growing up as a young child. I mean, so here you are today, you are, you're, you're, you plan on going through to become a post-op. Is that your plan or are you just very happy with what you are right now? Uh, I'm actually pretty happy where I am right now. There's a couple of the, the short story would be basically, um, several years ago. I know this is actually after, after I had moved to LA, I had talked to a couple of people that were friends of mine at the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and I took that to meaning not that they didn't care about me but it's like no we love you just the way you are and once I got that it wasn't a matter of validation or acceptance it's like wow that's some pretty heavy shit so if people were honest enough to tell me that then why couldn't I be comfortable in my own skin the way it was the other backstory which would be the longer version but to make that one short is it's the financial issue yeah because even whether I've made the decision at least for now of course not to have the surgery but if I was to have the surgery my despite the lower cost in Thailand let's say and I do got in I do got a couple of friends that are from Thailand that would probably escort me over if it came to that if I could get a hold of them but my choice is to go to Montreal because while it can be done by Dr. Meltzer in Phoenix or in Scottsdale and I actually met him a few several years ago when I was living in Seattle he was a doctor in Portland because it's very cross cost prohibited in the United States just like 30 30 30 to 35 thousand dollars where Montreal would be more like 20 to 25,000 but still that's a lot of money and living in LA as a single person it's really tough to save money okay that's okay but that's awesome do I agree you should be able to choose to do you know whatever whatever you want or whatever you don't want so walk us through your journey I mean how did it begin well it all began a long time ago many many many years ago now it happened it started basically in in and around between 69 and 1972 my dad was a military person so it's that's why a lot of this is it's not it's all it's all memorized right now it's all memorized right now it's all memorized right now it's all peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful peaceful the timeframes can get a little blurry sometimes. But basically when I was about 10, 11 years old, living in Panama, I had two older sisters and on the onset of puberty and everything, it's like, I started noticing things. It's like, you know, what is this? What, you know? So when my mom and dad were out of the house and the whole family was out of the house, which is really hard because I come from a family of seven, I would go up to my sister's room, especially since she had the cooler clothes. I would try on her clothes, her bra, panties, the whole fricking nine yards. What I didn't realize was the arousal behind, between my legs. And it's like, well, let's see. Oh yeah, I gotta do something. I gotta rub this thing or do something. That's like, oh, that's what that's all about. Now I get it. So, and that's not uncommon for crossdressers to be sexually aroused no matter what their age is. It's just, like I said, I started when I was about like anywhere between nine and 10 years old. Right. Well, but, and there's a difference between someone who wants to crossdress and someone who wants to, you know, go full like, you know, transgendered. So that's, that's. Right. And that's, and that's, and that grew as time went on with me because after in 72, summer of 72, we moved from Panama to West Point, New York at the military academy. And there I also was crossdressing using my sister's clothes. But at that time I was old enough, 13, 14, 15, 16. I was actually babysitting for some of the army officers' kids. So if the wife went out and I was even babysitting for an NCO who was on the Golden Knights parachute team, they were really cool. They were really fun. They let me have her, you know, they would let me drink booze, their own booze and stuff and babysit. But I was, you know, and I would go into the closet while I was babysitting and the baby was asleep or the kids were asleep and crossdress. Wow. Yeah. That's ballsy. Yeah. It was, when I look back on it, it was pretty ballsy too. But then again, I was, I walked into a bar in Highland Falls, New York at 14 years of age. And this town was like, I love Highland Falls, if there's anybody listening that knows the area. I love that town, love West Point. But I walked into a bar at 14 years old, Southgate Tavern, and everybody, it just sounded like Andy and Mayberry too, by the way, and bought my first six pack of beer to go in a bar at 14 years of age in 1974. And I got recognized, by one of my high school classmates, who was a senior. And that's a whole different story, a whole different topic. Don't want to go there necessarily. That's where the animal play came in. No shit. Yeah. Well, I'll give you a hint. For all those movie and trivia buffs out there, my former nickname in high school was named after a character from the movie, American Graffiti. And yes, it is an animal. So. So, so then, how was Piggy born? How did Piggy... Well, Piggy was actually born here in California, surprisingly enough. I was in the scene in Seattle for a while. Of course, when I came into the BDSM scene, I was very underground. You know, the adult bookstores and word of mouth and, you know, letters and whatever. We didn't have the internet back in the late 80s or even, you know, in the early 90s on the onset of it, you know, when it first started coming out. Everything was kind of underground. And I do remember, though, that we went to Living in Leather Conference in Portland, held on by the National Leather Association. I want to say it's like around 90, 91, somewhere in there. I can't remember exactly. But we still had 300 people show up for that event. And there were a couple of workshops during there. And it was, it was great. It was nice to know that we weren't alone out there. But with the onset of the internet, as I've seen this community grow, I've seen a lot, tons of great people come out of the woodwork. I really have. My only bad point is that we've also brought out a lot of posers. Or as they say up north, hosers, because we're so close to Vancouver, BC. Bunch of hose heads, you know. So there's good and bad in that. But, you know, that's, but when I was here in California, my very first owner that I had here in California, we were playing in her dungeon one day. And I don't know what the hell happened, but all of a sudden I just started snorting. And we picked up the nickname and we ran with it ever since. Wow. Just like that, huh? Fun. I mean, that's how, that's how nicknames happen. I mean, anybody who tries to force a nickname, it doesn't work. I mean, I'm just going to quote a little Seinfeld where Costanza wanted to be called T-bone and it just wasn't working. No. You can't do that. I can't say that with Costanza, no way. See, you can't force that shit. No, you can't. You can't. Because, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, Piggy is, I think I, this is the way that I perceive Piggy is that, you know, people hear of you and then, wow, Piggy, Piggy's, you know, the real deal. Yeah. Well, you know, Piggy's seen it all. Piggy's done it all. Well, you know, yeah, I have done it. Well, don't forget, like I said, I am an old lady, so I have seen and done it all. But I think what it boils down to in a lot of ways is the way I was taught in literally, literally every aspect of my life. My upbringing with being from a military family, being part of the old guard. Granted, there's a lot of aspects of that that I totally agree with, that even myself, that given on a given Saturday, do I wear my, I can't, I unfortunately have gained some weight. I can't even fit in my leathers anymore, which really sucks. But the fact I don't wear, I don't need to dress to impress anymore necessarily. It's not because I got a big ego or anything. It's just that I'm going more for comfort now. I'm getting to that, you know, getting to that point where it's like, yeah, I just, you know. I'm old, God damn it. I want to be comfortable. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. But, you know, like I said, my military upbringing, and it was just, I feel if you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? And to quote, I think, quote, and this may sound corny, but it relates to kind of what I based my entire life on is the speech that Douglas MacArthur gave at West Point back in, I think it was 62. It said, duty, honor, country. Well, I added that at one time on my FetLife profile. I said, duty, honor, country, mistress, or master, you know, put in your little own pronoun that you want to put in there because that's the way I feel. My duty to, whatever my duty may be at that given point in time is my thing. Honor, honor thyself, honor thy country, honor your fellow man. How do you juggle several different honors? That's a great question. That is a super question. It's a matter of great memorization. Seriously, seriously. It really is. I can't even believe that I did it, to be honest with you. But because of the fact that I was so, you know how we were talking, you know, in a conversation and you hear certain things and certain this and certain this. If I'm with a certain person or certain mistress or master, and it's like, they want their coffee this way, which is the primary thing that I'm thinking of right now. It's like, my ears perk up. It's like, this is something noteworthy. Make a mental note of this. This is how they want it done. And that's what I remember. Because like I said, Dom Con a couple of years ago, I was served six different ladies at any given time during the day. At any given time during that whole weekend. And you know what? I didn't break any rules. I will abide. I'm not perfect. I am human. And I'll be the first one. But I did have two infractions. You know, which isn't really bad for like four, three and a half, four days of serving people. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's intense. So let's, let's say you meet someone for the first time. Okay. How, how do they are uncomfortable? How do they, how do they, they are unfamiliar with talking to being around a person that's transgender. You know, someone's going to slip up. Someone's going to call you. He someone, you know, how do you deal with that? And what, and what does that do to you? I get a, I don't get, I, and again, I'm bringing the age factor and I've gotten too old to be, to be arguing with people anymore. I really don't tell me a lot of, and a lot of my trans systems and brother may disagree. I don't have a time to, I can't tell you. I can't waste my energy on getting into a pissing contest with people anymore. I really can't. Do you correct them and say, you know, you prefer to be... If I'm in the mood at the time, it depends upon how focused I am on the task at hand. Like, for example, if I'm like at a basketball or a football game and there's like, you know, 15,000 people there or 80,000 people there, I'm going to let them make their own assumptions, you know? And more often than not, it's like, it's like the other day I had to go to a meeting at the EDD office and this guy was sitting next to me and he goes, hi, what's your name? I go, my name's Gary, you know? And he just kind of, I didn't go that deep. But my voice, that's the problem with me. I know my voice is my dead giveaway. And it's like, he just gave me like, I wish people could see it, but it's like, what the hell? And it's just like, oh, okay, yeah. Nice to meet you. It's like, you know, and it was funny because... And like I said, and I come from a very sports-oriented family and background as well. And I've gotten to meet some wonderful people through the Seattle Seahawks fan group here in Southern California where we have a watch party during all the Seahawks football games in Culver City at one of the bars. And I remember the first time I met this guy near the end of the game, we were already, you know, half plastered. He walks up to me and goes, wow, I never met a person like you before. You're pretty freaking cool. I go, let me buy you a drink. I said, hey, dude, why not? I'll take a free drink. You know? So, but, you know, so, and the thing with, and the thing with, especially in California, I know it sounds stereotypical and I don't mean to say that, but it's true. People use the word dude to describe male or female. I do. I'm bad at that. So I don't take it personal. Like I'm going to, next Sunday, I'm going to the Anaheim Ducks hockey game against Colorado. I have a lance. You know, if I talk to somebody, fine. If I don't, I don't worry. You know, you know, I haven't bought, it's not that I really have invited people. It's just one of those things that most people I know aren't really sports fans like I am. So they're not always interested in going to a game where they're paying 20 bucks, you know, 25 bucks for a ticket and sitting up in rafters or whatever. But, you know, I'll go out to the smoking area during intermissions or whatever. And, you know, like when you're at Honda Center, they were having free samples of, you know, which is Budweiser and which is Miller Lite. It's like, oh, hell yeah. And these are some hot looking girls too. It's like, hey, okay, yeah. I mean, and that's another thing about being trans. We'll talk about more a little bit later. My sexual preference is more towards female. I am bisexual, but it's more towards female. But, you know, it's like, hey, you know, first of all, I get a free beer and I get to talk to a hot chick. What the, you know, this is a win-win situation for me as far as I'm concerned. Same thing as going to Hooters. Like I did the other night to a wash party for the Ducks. It's like, wow, this is a nice little 18, 19 year old girls. That doesn't suck. No, it doesn't. I was going to say sex questions for later, but since you started, you know, what, I mean, what is sex for you? Well, this is, I don't know how many people are listening, but this is going to be the most honest confession you'll ever hear. I appreciate that. Next to a confessionable, a confession in St. Peter's Basilica. I have not have genital in a chorus in over 20 years. So then anal? Last week. No, it's been a few weeks, but all the time. Last night, as a matter of fact, no, no, no. Anal verse for me. In the alley. In the alley, yeah. Right next to the 7-Eleven on 7th Street. Oh yeah. You're going to be surprised. Okay. So, and that's, and that's, I mean, it was one of the reasons why I was asking questions. So for you, what is, I mean, what is a typical sexual experience? For me, a typical sexual experience is something that involves some minor cases of BDSM, let's say, because I did do, when I was living in Denver, I did do some escorting for a while. And I found out, it's not that I didn't like it or did like it, but I found out that it was kind of bland, if you know what I mean. Because basically, it was like, you know, oral sex, anal sex, and that was basically the run of the mill. It wasn't, you know, for an hour long session, it was like, yeah. You know, the thing is, I did actually meet a couple of really nice guys in Denver. And I was actually going to start a relationship with one guy in particular. But it was, it wasn't, it wasn't satisfying my actual desire or the need. I, I, I, I, I, I'm the type of person that I, I have to feel every nerve in my body has to feel something. If it's not, if it's not being fed and it's, it's, you know, going half ass. So then, rough sex, kinky sex, I mean, Oh yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Some choking, and what, you know, I'm just curious. Well, yeah, okay. We're going to get into this. Yeah. No, no, I enjoy all types of sexual play. I'm not a big, a rope fan or bondage fan. I do have some medical issues with my right arm and shoulder right now. So I've been kind of on the DL or disabled list right now. So I'm kind of sitting on the sidelines so to speak. But yeah, flogging, spanking, whipping, caning, a blast noddle on my feet, wax play, electrical play, fire play, some breath play with the right people. And that's all foreplay? That's all foreplay for me. That's all foreplay. And then, and then comes the 12 inch dildo up my ass. Well, that sounds awesome actually. Yeah. And then it's like, mistress, mistress, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Yo, yo, yo, yo. No, no, it's like, may I, may I, may I? I can't hold it anymore. Sorry, denied. Oh, yeah. The old teasing, the old teasing. No, most of my, the mistress that I have been partnering up with over the years have all, in their own right, whether we're friends or not anymore, have all brought something different to the table. And I, you know, like I said, even if we're not friends anymore, I appreciate the time that I did have with them because they brought something different to the table. And there was one in particular that I belong to as a, as a, as a slave and sub who, even to this day, I, I still, it's not that I miss her because I know she's in town. She's still alive and everything like that. But she, she, you know, she was just one very, very special lady. And honestly, I can say we all have a little, we all have some badness. I mean, like I said, I know I'm not perfect, but this is one person I can honestly say I cannot say anything bad about. And this, and I just love her to death. You know, and I wish I had more, more contact with her. And there's another lady also, she was one of my co-owners who I can say the same thing about. There's very little, if anything at all, I can say bad about them, but they all brought something different to the table. They all taught me something that I needed to learn at that time. And it wasn't necessarily the aesthetics of BDSM or it was just basically about life in general. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what relationships do. Right. You know, whatever. And that's the mark of, even though when relationships end, regardless of the type, they're, it's painful. I mean, even if it's mutually agreeable, it's still painful, you know, and you find more mutually agreeable cessations of relationships in BDSM than you do in regular vanilla life. However, the sign of a great relationship is that it left a mark on you and you left the relationship better than you started off. Yeah. And that's how it, right. And that's how it is with this one particular mistress. If I, I mean, we, we, like I said, we haven't really talked or whether it be on FetLife, Facebook or in person or on the phone or whatever, but I know that if the connection is, is remade again, it's like nothing, we had never left. Yeah. And that's, that's the great part about it. You know, there are other relationships where it's not that I don't want to really have anything to do with them. It's, you know, it could be a matter of just, that's the way it came or the way it went or whatever, or whatever. But, you know, the one thing I think, no, I think that's the end of my comment. What? I was, well, I was trying to go somewhere, but it's, I'm not sure if it's applicable right now or not. It doesn't matter. Okay. Well, I was thinking about the, the, the, the destruction of the relationship that I had in Denver. And there were, there were a lot of different issues involved with that one. But if I got across anything to the listeners today on that, on that dynamic, it wasn't a matter of, her being an asshole or me being an asshole or trust issues and stuff like that. It was a dynamic of a life changing event, which is when I got fired from my job at the, at the airline. When I got fired from my job, that changed the dynamic of everything. Yeah, I can see that. And then once the dynamic, once I did my research and I found out that because I'd only lived in Colorado for a certain amount of time, that everything was falling back on the state of California. I felt it in my right mind. That why should I have to deal with emails and faxes and all those other crap and phone calls back to California? And, you know, from Colorado, why, you know, as much as I wanted to stay in Colorado to a certain extent, I just couldn't do it. In my right mind, I just could not do it. I, you know, I told her, I said, I got to leave. And she was unhappy about it. It was like, well, you know, I'm sorry, I'm doing, you know, you know, it's, it's, it's tough, but you're going to have to learn to deal with it. You know, and the funny thing is, is that she, she had in a couple sentences made some comments and I didn't, I didn't catch her in a lie, but I caught her in a contradiction. Oh. And that wave, that made some, that, that a major red flag went up. It was like, you know, it was time to come back. I think that any major life changes are going to test a relationship. And either it's going to make it or it's not. Right. And the thing about it is, is that, especially with that one, if I had, like, let's say, been in Colorado for, let's say, a couple of years, then the situation might have been different. Sure. You know, and it's the same for a vanilla married couple. You know, could we have muddled through it? Possibly. But the fact is, is that if you had a married couple and especially in today's society, both couples are probably working. So the loss of a second income is not going to be a loss of one income for two people, unlike a loss of an entire income for one person. So I have nothing to fall back on. I got to rely on myself. I can't rely on somebody else's income. So I got to, you know, I got to do what's right for me. I know it sounds a little selfish, but it's true. You got to take care of yourself first before you can take care of anybody else. Absolutely. And I think that's what a lot of, I think that some submissives forget that, that they want to focus so much on their owner that they forget to take care of themselves. And that's, I mean, that benefits nobody. No, that's true. It's absolutely true. It's absolutely true. I mean, you know, I, I can't tell you how many times whether it was said jokingly or whether it was said seriously. If I'm not taking care of myself, then I'm taking the job away from my mistress or my master, which is true. I mean, that's their job to take care of me. You know, I'm not taking care of myself because even, let's say, a gram, but you know, I can't, I can't physically right now even do some heavy, heavy housework, let's say. Right. Like running back and forth. You know, let's say, that's how weird my arm is. But the thing about it is that if she's aware of that, that I can't do that, then she'll do it herself and say, don't, you know, you relax for a while, take care of what you need to do and, you know, when your arm gets better or when your, you know, flu gets, you know, when you got, don't, you know, when you got the flu, stay, keep your ass in bed and drink fluids and I'll give you chicken soup. I mean, I'll let her just do it. Yeah, but that drives you S-types crazy. Yeah. It does. And it does because, you know, and I was thinking about this the other day for some, I don't know why it popped up in my head, but that's very true. It is very true because my entire life, that's all I've done. 18 years old and the most, I don't know if it would be the most dynamic thing I'll say, but I served my country. Okay. I got out of the military military. Okay. I started going into the civilian world. I served my job at the airlines for 24 years. Okay. During that time, you know, you know, even when I was, even when I was a holy roller Catholic, I was serving God to a certain extent. Okay. Which is all another topic to a certain extent too, but. No, no, let's go there. Why were you a holy roller Catholic? And why aren't you anymore? I just, it seems incongruent. Number one with the lifestyle and number two with, I mean, Catholicism is, is, is vehemently anti-homosexual. It's vehemently anti, you know, that you'd be something other than what God made you. This is, this is 30 years ago. This is a long time ago when I was in high school. It was still like that then. Well, yeah, it was then, but I wasn't. Well, see, the thing about it was that you're a holy roller Catholic. You're a holy roller Catholic. You're a holy roller Catholic. The thing about military kids growing up or being in the military, is no matter what your age is, the dynamics can change depending upon the lifestyle of the installation. For example, I went from basically a college military installation, living in a town like Andean Mayberry to somewhat of a major metropolitan city, like Colorado Springs at Fort Carson. Okay. With Denver 80 miles away, and once we got there, and my high school, believe it or not, in Colorado was actually smaller than my school in upstate New York. I graduated high school with like 110 kids in my senior class. Okay. That's how small it was. We didn't even have a baseball team. But the thing is, is that somehow, some way or another, the chaplains and the priests of the Archdiocese of Denver somehow had arranged for youth groups to get together. And we would go on retreats up north by the Air Force Academy and stuff like that. So there was, you know, there were things for anybody who's in the military, whether they used it or not, that's up to them. But most military installations of all four branches of the military have activities that is for the teenagers. So they got things to do, you know, field trips, whatever. And that's where, when we lived in Colorado, that's where it led to. Then I enlisted in the Air Force after I graduated high school. And then my first duty assignment just happened to be where I lived before, Panama. And then that's when I learned the real world about having hookers knocking on your barracks door of two o'clock in the morning, wanting 20 bucks for a half and a half. Wow. I don't even know what a half and a half is. You don't know what a half and a half is? I was raised very suburban or European, and nobody said such things to me. Maybe they say it in French differently. Okay. A hoppy hop. No, a half and a half is a half blowjob. And a half fuck. Why would you want that? Well, a half blowjob is to get your half off and then you fuck the rest and put it in her. Five dollar fucky, fucky, sucky, sucky. I'm so naive on some things. Oh, I can tell you. When it comes to the prostitution ring, I really am very naive. So I don't think that's a bad thing. People in the military, especially those who have been in Korea, will tell you about the... The marriage situation over there. You marry hookers? No, you don't marry hookers. You marry families. No, thank you. Well, no, here's what the situation is. And it's not commonly talked about, but it is a... And if the Pentagon is listening to this, they're going to probably take away my ID card, which I don't have one anyway. I'm fairly sure the Pentagon is not listening to us. Pretty sure. But anyway, no, no military service. It was said that when I was in the military, if you were a single male and went to Korea, which was considered a remote tour, that within a year after you came back to the States, you would probably be married. Now, the reason why they said that is because the Korean nationals are so dying to get out of the country. What they'll do is they'll have you marry one of their daughters and they will pay you to marry her. And I'm not talking like, let's say, you know, with the economy the way it is. Let's say they'll give you $5,000 to marry your daughter. Okay. You bring her back to the States and they'll pay you an extra $1,200 up until the time that you get married. Okay. And then she brings you to the States and she goes to work or hooks up with the family that's already here already. And then they get a divorce so they can get their green card. Wow. Which is totally like illegal. Yeah. Like in the military. And that happens all the time. Oh, wow. Yeah. There you go. It's been an educational moment. All these things, half and half to Korean marriage. Who knew? I go all over. Well, hey, this is almost like a play scene. I go all over the place. Speaking of, if somebody wanted to play with you, do they, I mean, do they have to play with you differently? I mean, is it any different from playing with anybody else? I think anybody who plays with me, the best thing that I would tell you is to, and this is something that, a lot of people will say this on the top side too, is I will give you all the feedback you want. Do not silence me. Please do not. I don't mind having a gag in my mouth or duct tape or anything like that. That's fine. But let me verbalize my, my, my emotions because that, that, that takes away from my space. If that makes any sense. I hate, well, I won't say I hate, but the plate people who have done that to me, whether they, whether they be owners or just, you know, in a casual acquaintance, it, it stifles me a little bit as a person because my head space is not completely open to it. It's like, if you close my mouth, you closed off a part of my mind, which is really weird. That's true. You, I mean, you, you have so, you have such a depth and breadth of play experience. You've probably had fantastic, fantastic experiences and awful experiences. What tips, advice can you give for anybody out there from the bottom of the top side, just from what you've experienced? Okay. Well, I haven't done a whole lot of topping, but I will. Yeah, but you can give advice to tops based on your experience. Yeah, I'll start with that first. The first thing that I could give advice for tops for, and my friend Val Harrison says the same thing about me. If anybody, if a new top came in, came into the scene and they wanted to be, learn how to, how to be a good top, they could come see me. So I appreciate that. My first, my first thing is, um, really get to know your sub, really get to know them, spend time with them. And I don't necessarily mean holding hands and concuning, you know, going on picnics and shit like that. No, just sit down and talk and get to know where they, where they're physically and mentally and are at, you know, and then, you know, learn their body motions, learn their, their idiosyncrasies and what makes them tick. You don't have to necessarily be a psychology major and have a fricking PhD and all of the bullshit. Just get to know your, and see what works for her or him as a case may be, and work with that and mold them as you see fit, but be willing to make changes that may not necessarily coincide with yours. That would be the best advice I would give for a top. From a submissive point of view, my best advice, if it's not working, stop. Plain and fricking simple. Stop. I've been, I don't know if embarrasses the right order or not. It's one of my more classic moves. We were on, um, I don't know if I can say another network. I feel weird about it. But I was, I was on TSR with Rob Mel and Mr. Cyan was doing a single tail scene on me. That lasted, a half hour. Okay. Excellent scene. Everybody was laughing. You know, Eric, Eric told me, I've told you this part of the story too. She's single tailing my ass like to no end. Guess what? I read it out. Yeah, I did. I read it out. And you know why? Because I had a fricking cramp on my God. Damn. So, so I am puts me on the floor, face, face down on the floor and we can continue to see. We worked around. I mean, that's the right answer. Yeah. So don't, I mean, you know, find if you're surprised, I'll find out what the problem may not be. Maybe it's something as stupid as that, but yeah, no, be, don't it. It may seem like an embarrassment, but they have, you know, at the moment it's like the SWAT, the Southwest airlines commercial. Do you want to get away? It's like, you know, kind of. Yeah. But now, now that you're going to continue with whipping me, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Continue with whipping me. Let's go for it. Bring it, bring it on. Let's do it. Did you ever have, um, not in that particular scenario, but in any other scenario, like in your journey, ever have issues with writing out with coloring? I mean, that you, that it said something about you or that you should handle this or that inner dialogue. Did that ever happen? Yeah. Well, especially lately, like I said, I don't, because of my injury and the, the things that are going on, behind the scenes, um, whatever I have done has been, has had to be very light. And I mean, extremely light, extremely light for me. So it's like, if it's going too much, it's like, no, this, this is not working. I know I had a scene several years ago with somebody and it's like, as they say, I took one for the team for a slave auction. The good, the person that was playing with me was technically fabulous. Can't really compare. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, from him. You know, usually it's like I get feedback from the mistress like, you know, what do you say? Well, oh yeah, I'm sorry mistress, thank you mistress, I may have, you know, shit like that. This guy, this person was saying nothing to me. They'd give me any type of way to go and then people could, and then people came up to me afterwards and said, Kerry, you really took one for a team. We could see it in your eyes that you weren't happy. And it's like, yeah, that's why I got the fuck out. Yeah, so, yeah, don't ever be afraid to red out. You know, and I actually had to, I tell you, I just remember the situation in Denver that really sucked. That really absolutely sucked and this was actually a semi-medical issue. I have partials on both my lower and upper teeth and they were doing electrical play and fire play at the same time. My lower partial fell out and I started choking on it. Holy shit. Yeah, ooh shit is right. Is it two tops or is it just one top? No, it's like three tops. Okay, because I'm thinking, I'm literally trying to figure out how do you do electrical on fire when you're one person. I'm like, fuck man, I got shit to learn. A typical top response. No, no, it was more than one. But no, but it'd be the same. My mind is thinking about one hand fire, what? No, but then, I don't, okay. Oh, that's fabulous. I love you. But no, but that, I mean, you know, obviously there was like a medical necessity to get me off, just literally stop the scene and get me up and get that fucker out of my, out of my throat because it was, you know, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, time out. Well, that seems normal, but it's one of those things where, you know, for example, there, there was a scene that you and I were playing and it was, you just, you hated everything to do with it. Yeah. Everything about, yeah, you hated and you hated that you hated it and you were all fucking emo about afterwards because she didn't get into subspace and it was like that. Oh, are you okay? And you, she was so worried about me that she couldn't, I mean, she couldn't let go and I mean, I knew that she wasn't liking it. So, I mean, it wasn't a very long scene because that's kind of obvious, but it was one of those things where, you know, trying to, you know, let's see, let's, let's do the normal things that always get her into subspace and it just wasn't happening, but she had this internal struggle of, you know, she wasn't going to say anything to me because she just was really having, I should be able to, this, I should take this. I, you know, how, how do you speak to a, a submissive in that mind frame? I think that that has to be something that has to be more internalized and what I mean by that is that there must have been something going on internally in the body system or the nervous system or one of those medical logical theories that your body just wasn't feeling at that time. Okay. No matter, I mean, you could have been fricking had a T-bone steak dinner or your best vegan meal of your life and rocked out to fricking Ted Nugent or, or ACDC on the way to the club. It's like, ah, fuck, this is party on, dude, you know. Ted Nugent reference, first time on Skid Row. Yeah, well, he's been in the news a lot lately, I guess, but, you know, rock on party, dude, you know, where's all those lines of cocaine and shit and like, yeah, well, you know, let's rock out and then all of a sudden it's like, it's time to play and it's like, man, man, this is, what the fuck, you know. It's like, you know, why am I not feeling it? You know, I thought I was feeling great and then, you know, and then other days it's like, I've had a scene one time where I was like, pissed off at the fricking world and some dom pulled me aside and to this day, I wish I could remember her name, but she pulled me aside at Iron Gate Studios, or not Iron Gate, Dragons Gate Studios, tied me to a table, saran wrapped me and beat the living shit out of me and I got out, so, I tell you what, after we were done, I literally thanked her because you know what she did? Not only did she beat the living shit out of me, but she beat out all the frustrations that I had been having and it was like, literally like, I don't care what anybody says, whether they be fricking Barack Obama or the lowest peon out there on Skid Row, BDSM can and to me will always be very, very therapeutic. I agree. Amen. Absolutely. There is nothing, I mean, like I said, you could be having the best day ever and you can go into a scene and it may not work, you know, because something's, your body chemistry is off and it's, you know, and it can be male or female, you know, and in other days you feel like shit and you just want to tear up the world and you get tied down as a submissive, you know, and you know, and from the top side, like me and your top had a shitty day and she's just, ugh, just, you know, instead of throwing with her strong right arm, she just throws with her left and then all of a sudden, it's like, come on, mistress, try, you know, you're on the other end of the scene and then it's like, you're just cheering for your mistress. Let's go, mistress. Let's go, mistress. Hit me hard, mistress. That's when you have to bring, see, that's why, like I said, with my life experience, that's why I do what I do, not because I do it, but because I let my mind wander. Being the age that I am, my mind has been everywhere and anywhere. So that's why I do all of my things and all this little shit pops up out of nowhere. Oh God, what was it? Oh, I came up, I didn't come up with this, but a few days ago, somebody texted me about something. I said, yeah, I'm putting out fires. He goes, what the fuck? You're putting out fires? What's going on? What the hell? Are you okay? I go, no, it's a fucking terminology that I use when I got a lot of errands to run and I got things to do. It's a figure of speech. Yeah, but you know what, Piggy, when you say something like that, it could fucking mean anything. It can, it really can. Put it out with your fucking ass because you're going to have a rump roast later. I mean, you never really know. No one knows with you. No one knows. It could be real. And that's, see, that's to my advantage because like I said, I travel all over. It's like, I got to, you know, like I said, I travel the world and I travel all over the country, you know. I mean, I don't know if I could do it on cue or not, but I got a brother, a brother-in-law from Alabama, for God's sake. It's like, you know, put me down in Atlanta, Dom Con, Atlanta, I'll be talking like one of them Southern boys or one of them Southern girls going out and making me some moonshine, you know. Where's that goddamn, where's that goddamn hound dog of mine? Listen to Scruggs and Flats, you know. Okay, so that happened. Yeah, maybe having a little bit of a sauce base, you know. Southern pig. Southern pig. Southern pig. Southern fried hand. Make you some Memphis, Memphis barbecue pork. Ooh, hell yeah. Some sauce, I think. Well, I've had sauce on me, believe me, it works. Sauce makes everything better. That's right. Just pick the sauce of your choosing. Exactly. It could be human sauce. Only fine. No problem with that. No, no. Did that in a couple of guys just pick a cup of coffee at work a long time ago? So I know that you're owned, obviously. No, actually, technically, oh, excuse me. Technically, right now, I am not owned. Okay. I am actually under consideration to somebody right now who I've actually been under consideration now for about eight months. Oh, wow. So, and I'm not even sure what to say about it. I mean, she's a wonderful lady. I'm not, you know, I got nothing really bad, bad or good to say about it. It's just, you know, we're, especially in this part of the world of LA, Los Angeles, Southern California, we're dealing primarily the way I see it most, mostly as a distance issue, you know, type of thing. She lives up in the Echo Park area up around by Dodger Street. I live in Long Beach. She's busy, especially now this time because she does, she's a CPA and doing taxes for everybody and stuff like that. so it's, you know, it's, you know, and she's also, you know, she's got her, she's got some family here in town, so where I don't, so she gives me a lot of freedom. So there's. And do you, do you like that or do you prefer kind of more, more of a rigid approach? To be honest with you, for me, even after the Dom Con of a couple of years ago with the Sixth Minister, I actually prefer the freedom a little bit because the one that I was referring to, Mistress, and I'll mention her now, Mistress Nicolette, lovely, wonderful lady, she's a great woman. Like I said, I can't say enough great about her. She picked me up, so to speak, or I picked her up as the case might be, depending upon your perspective, after I got in fire from another mistress here in Southern California, who at the time, I thought, had all the power in the world. Well, I didn't realize that, that this town was big enough for more than just one mistress. What? What? Yes, there are many in this town. You don't say. But anyway, because of my experience and the fact I had been owned prior to that back in Seattle for seven years, she knew my background and I was in a, and I remember a interview that Nicolette did with Red Mel and something that she told me to in private and her quote was similar to this. She said, I, she goes, and Red Mel asked her, well, how come Pig Harry's not here and, you know, whatever. And she goes, I let Pig Harry have all the freedom she wants because Pig Harry is experienced and she knows what she's doing. She goes, well, what about Pig Harry and play with others? She goes, Pig Harry can play with whoever she wants but she has to play with the stipulation. Pig Harry has to make her, based her decision on what decisions she thinks that I would make that if I was there with her. That was the most powerful statement that anyone has ever given me in the scene. That she trusted my judgment to know what I knew what she would say. And that's the interesting part. So when your dom puts that much trust in you as a submissive to know what you're doing, that means you must be doing something right. And whatever you're doing, just keep on doing it. That's very powerful. And then I can imagine to have that level of trust from both of you. All right, absolutely. I mean, you know, you know, whatever Nicolette's personal life was, I'm not going to go into that. That's not my place. But the fact is is that, you know, wherever her path, whatever path she's on and I, you know, like I said, you know, see things that she does on Facebook and stuff. I'm very happy for her and I'm very proud of her for doing that. I want her to be the happiest person she can be. If it doesn't include me in her life, that's fine. But I will never, ever, ever have anything but, love and respect for that woman. Like I do with so many other wonderful women here in LA. Melissa being another one. You know, just, you know. Who doesn't love her though? Oh, I know, exactly. And even she's, even right now, she's following her a different path. Absolutely. You know, I think it's one. And it's impacting, you know, her visibility. Right. But that's where her joy is. Right, exactly. So even, even if they're not in, even if you may not see them at every play party or every, you know, fetish event, even the ones that are like a Batcave or, you know, Bar Sinister or Dragonfly, you know, let them do what they want to do. Let them enjoy their life the way they want to do it. You know, the submissive shouldn't ruin their lives just because, well, you're doing this or, you know, you're, you're being a, you know, you're, all of a sudden, you're turning into a nun and you don't go out to drag, you know, the dungeon parties anymore or, or you're becoming a witch because you're doing this and this and this or, you know. So ridiculous. It is ridiculous, you know. Who the fuck cares? Exactly. You know, I mean, really, are you that invested in somebody else's life? I mean, fuck, look at your own shit. That's all I got to say to anybody. I mean, fuck. Anybody about anything, anybody about anything, you know what? Who the fuck cares that you're gay? Who the fuck cares that you're, you know, transgender and not going to have an operation? Who cares? Your investment in somebody else's life speaks more about the sadness of your own life than anything else. Right. Sorry, soapbox moment. Yeah, and that's the thing. In any relationship, vanilla, kinky, you know, gay, straight, whatever, the operative word, even in the polyamory community, too, is one word, support. Support. You know, just, you know, it's like the old adage when you were growing up, your mom and dad probably wanted you to be a lawyer or a doctor or some shit and you turned out to be a fricking pro-dom. And making more money. And probably making more money. Making more money, exactly, you know. Oh, yeah. Or they wanted you to become, or they wanted, you know, just, you know, but that's your life's choosing, you know. Yep. You know, you turn around, you say, okay, mistress, I'm gonna, I decided I'm gonna go back to school and I'm gonna become a fricking basket weaver. Okay, she's like, she may have questions. Can't see a basket weaver. She may say, are you sure about that? It's like, okay, let's think this over. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right, go for it. You know, they may have had a question a couple of times, but. Well, we're out of time. I want to say thank you. Already? Wow. Thank you for your candor, for your honesty, for your openness, and for coming all the way to LA. That was awesome. Yeah. We love you, Peggy. We do. I love you guys too. You guys are awesome in the audience out there as well. And we can always do a part two, part three, part four too. For sure. We're thinking about having a panel actually. So next week we have Jackie, Japanese rope guy, Andrew on. I'm excited about that because we haven't done rope and my rope knowledge is abysmal. So let's have somebody who knows their shit on our show. I'm Insidious Muse. And I'm Service Sluts. And this is the love. Bye. Thank you for listening. Thank you. Bye.!