Healthcare failures, Iraq casualties, Jersey trivia game

Take it off, take it in Take off all the thoughts of what we've been Take a look, hesitate Take a picture you could never recreate Write a song, make a note For the love that sits inside your throat Take it off, take it in Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture you could never recreate Take a picture of whatever's left of that Take a picture of whatever's left of that The problem is one that is harder for us to actually see The problem is one that is harder for us to actually see The problem is one that is harder for us to actually see The problem is one that is harder for us to actually see never go through it, which is when you get through the process, when you actually get all the way through, you not just create an application, but you get your eligibility information and then you enroll. It is not clear the system is transmitting the right information to the insurer. But that is a problem that I think the Obama administration is and should be worried about. OK, OK, OK, OK. All right. So so. So maybe maybe it's not working like we thought. OK, maybe it sounds like Obama. They screwed up, right? They screwed up big time. And his his Obama and his squad should be they should have been prepared when they rolled this out. I mean, this was the biggest initiative of, you know, his presidency, no doubt. But I'm sure that the criticism coming from the media, I'm sure it will be fair. Not only was there not basic competence, but I think what you said is is interesting and compelling. They did this because they didn't want Republicans to have a talking point. They did this for purely political reasons. They have tests that suggest it's going to fail. And fail miserably. They're going to go ahead and do it. Potentially. That's right, folks. Tremendous costs. Did you hear that? Huge costs. I mean, if you want. I just I I think that Stephen Hayes from Fox News really put it out there. Right. They did it for political purposes and they did it. They did it at huge costs to the American people. I just I'm just thinking, like, how can you quantify that? How can we quantify how much of a cost it is to the American people? I mean, I'm just. I'm just trying to think of maybe there's a comparable example that that happened recently where the intended mission wasn't actually accomplished. I mean, oh, wait, I think there is. My fellow Americans, major combat operations in Iraq have ended in the Battle of Iraq. The United States and our allies have prevailed. It's good. It's good. And he was right. He was he was absolutely wrong. Actually, he was absolutely wrong. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Perfect. Now, Newark City officials hope to see their storefronts transform from dilapidated buildings to drive-through Starbucks, jazzy boutiques, and crunch gyms. They'll do that. They'll do that. And apparently abandoned soccer fields will now be turned into small dog parks and chihuahua petting zoos, folks. And I mean everyone. Everyone will also be required to carry around a yoga mat at all times. So that's what's happening in Jersey. Jersey. Jersey. Jersey. And in extremely stupid news, I mean entertainment, Kim and Kanye got engaged. To honor the moment, Kanye rented out AT&T Park so that her big ass, his big ego, and the absurdly large ring they exchanged could all fit. When reached for comment on the monumental celebrity engagement, as he often does, a confused Joe Biden said, quote, congratulations to Kip and Kyle. I'm sure they'll be very happy. Kip and Kyle, by the way, are actually a couple who got married in New Jersey. Yeah, they're the ones that are bringing the boutiques to Newark. Is that the one that Cory Booker married them? I think so. And then was like, I'll be in there with you. He said bears, like bear hugs. I was so happy. I love gay bears. I know. Hey, what is it? Bear for smooth right here. Bear for smooth. Do you guys know why I'm in a? I think we're about to find out. Oh, man, because someone made a prank call to a guy on city council from my cell phone and called him a gay bear. And this guy on Sioux City Council couldn't take it. So he like me had his detective friends like harass me and I got interrogated and then I wouldn't talk to him. And then I got subpoenaed. And then I had to sit with like a district attorney, my lawyer and this detective. And they were interrogating me about who could have used your phone. How do you? I do not know who made this phone call. Who are your friends? Like my whole life over this phone call. And they were all like, Mindy, you told the detective you might know who did it. But now you say you don't know. How can that be? And I got a little sarcastic and I was like, well, at first I thought I knew which of my friends would find this funny. But it turns out everyone thinks it's funny. And then. So wait, how did you end up out here, though? Because I couldn't take it after this. Like, I got more harassed. OK, the best. What's the spotlight? The spotlights in Sioux City are very bright. Yeah, they don't go. They don't have much to do. So they were like on it. Like, yeah, prank caller. Oh, man, I got yelled at. The district attorney goes, anal sex is not funny, Miss Jorgensen. And that's like the best thing I've ever been told in my life. And then my lawyer assured me that anal sex. I have every right to think it's funny. And they're just pissed off. And they wanted to yell at someone. You do. You do. I know. Anal sex is hilarious. Yeah. Especially when it's getting done to you. You can take my word for that. You can take. That's a ridiculous story. And it's true. And then they came to one of my shows with business cards and were harassing my friends. Like, do you know who could have made a prank phone call from that girl's phone? Well, that's just because. So I was like, well, fuck this. It's just because all the DAs and investigators are in a band together. And they were just, they were networking. They were jealous of my band. They were jealous. They were networking. And I think bears are funny. They want to laugh at bears. They came in armed with business cards? Yeah. With like the. With the detectives business cards. Like, give me a call if you know who might have made this harassing prank phone call. They threatened me with terrorism. They said I was a terrorist because we were harassing a city council member. You're like a, you're like a radio version of Snowden, aren't you? You're like Edward Snowden. I am. I was like, LAPD has murders and shit. They don't care about a prank phone call. No. No. No. I mean, they don't even care about murders and shit either. We had a prank phone call show from this studio where we just prank people. You got prank calls. You got a. Girl got fisted over there. You know. I love how that happened one time, but it gets mentioned every single week. Every show. Well, if we have loyal listeners, then they would probably get tired of the fisting reference. But you know what? We just get a variety of different listeners every week. National Fisting Day was just a couple days ago. Oh, God. How'd you guys celebrate? Is that a real thing? Evidently, I saw it on Facebook. I played Mike Tyson's Punch Out for an hour and a half. But you just play as Glass Joe. Yeah. Just straight up. Uppercuts the whole way. That was a fun sidebar right there. Jesus Christ. Bears. So, guys. Yeah. Bears, folks. Bears. Care Bears. Bears. Finally. Finally. Before we go to break here. A much needed one after that. Jesus Christ. No. That was interesting, Mindy. I found out a lot about you. It's truth. All truth. If you made that up, I would be surprised. But in sports this week. In sports this week. Major League Baseball is now in the spotlight because of the World Series. And also because it's a Wednesday and doesn't interfere with the Sunbelt Conference football on ESPNU. But it's also a highly anticipated matchup. If you guys haven't been watching, there's the game tonight. Between just two cities. Two cities who I feel like, frankly, don't have much of a history in the postseason. And really, they just have weak fan bases. You know? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the game was between the Florida Marlins and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. It's actually between the Red Sox and the Cardinals. But that would be. If it was the Marlins and the Devil Rays, it would be like two very proud, like, geriatric fan bases just going at it. Like, it was like, hey, every game had to be scheduled at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. You know? I'm going to go watch the stickball. They're just going to go cater to Denny's, you know? I don't know. Do old people go to Denny's? I don't know. Yes. IHOP. Yeah, they do. IHOP. Sizzler. Sizzler. Red Lobster. God, you know. Do you, like, frequent these places? I hang out with the elderly. But they're more my speed. They're more my style. They are. You are. You're kind of a relaxed kind of guy. You must be quite the catch among that group, huh? Oh, no. They can barely see me with their thick Coke bottle glasses. Oh, man. All right. Well, so we talked about bears. We talked about Jake's love for the elderly. And Kareem. Well, Kareem's alive. So that's all good. But yeah. We got a lot more coming up right here on the Sarcastic News Show. Sarcastic News Live. Feel free to give us a call. 800-893-9562. I'm talking to Kara in San Francisco. I'm talking to Josh and Allison in Austin. Jim in Santa Fe Springs. Matt's friend in Boston. Tommy in Burbank. Marcus in Omaha. Making up names now. But I'm sure Carissa. Don't forget Shirley in Vancouver. Carissa in Tijuana. Jonathan in Glasgow. We got a lot of listeners. There's always some guy who's like Sweden after the show. Like who's listening from Sweden, you know? But we got more coming up right here on Sarcastic News Live. Stay tuned. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. I lost it all I punched the wall again But it was stronger than the hands And they were swollen, they were red And I'm a fool I'm not a lion, I'm a man I can't outrun the hurt, the sad But I can love and love again And you too, and you too We got skies reminding us And we got hearts that bleed And next time we're down dirty cars We got tears on we, we, we I took control That was pressure sheets Trying to cry myself to sleep But I'm a fool Slaps from good to bad I cut the rope Lipped through the chin That hung my head From all my silence and regret And felt a pounding in my chest Oh yeah We got skies reminding us We got skies reminding us That we got hearts that bleed For the next time we're down dirty cars We got tears so we can weep For they don't know the pain in love Cause they love having fear For they don't know the pain in love For maybe we are better off having tears We'll see you next time. I like our music right there. Who was that? That was the Tragic Thrills. The Tragic Thrills. I like all the music that intros us a lot of times in the show. It's like, ah! There's a lot of hardcore kind of... A lot of angst, anger, straight up rage. Death metal. Yeah. And then our show comes in, it's like, take it off, take it in, take off all the thought, and it's like... Rainbows and sunshine, here we come. Speaking of rainbows and sunshine, we got, wait, wait, I don't have a fucking idea. It's a new game that we invented, which is basically a trivia game. But it's apt because a lot of times we don't have a fucking idea. And it was formerly called the Snake Game, but we're proud to have it right here on Sarcastic News Live, and I'm going to throw it over right now to the man, the legend, Jake the Snake Granny. That's a nice touch. I feel like Ellen right now. I look like her. All right, you know what that music means. I'm dancing. I hope you know what that music means because it's the first time we've ever played it. It means that it's time for Wait, Wait, I Have No Fucking Idea. Yay! That's a great... One more time, one more time, just for a second. Okay, hang on. All right, it's done. We'll figure that out for next time. We're on fire on the soundbites. It's just a glitch, like the healthcare website. All right, so as you mentioned earlier, gay marriage is now legal in New Jersey. Good for them. So I thought we'd take a minute. Good for you, gays. Well, when I try to sound sincere, I just sound sarcastic. Well, whatever. All right, anyway, I thought we'd take a minute to have a little quiz, try to find out a little more about the often overlooked state of New Jersey. It's another guess the lie type of game. Got four questions. I'm going to give you three facts. Two of them are actual truths. One of them is a lie. You've got to guess the lie. Okay, here we go. Question one. Oh, in audience, you can play along with us. You can tweet us and follow along. Just hashtag Jerseylicious. Hashtag Jerseylicious. Tweet to SarcasticNews1. Yeah. And feel free to play along. Yeah, and... By the way, who will you guys be playing for this evening? Let's give it a second. Let's let that marinate. I'm probably going to be playing for the Boys and Girls Club of Tijuana. Okay, perfect. Yeah, let's go to the YMCA in Salt Lake City. Utah. Ouch. Ouch to the Boys and Girls Clubs. All right. All right, question number one. All of the following facts about New Jersey are true, except... A. New Jersey has the most diners in the world. B. New Jersey has more cars stolen than anywhere in the world. C. New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the world. Which one is not true? I'm going to say... Diners. I'm going to say diners is not true. Dream. Okay, I know... I'm pretty sure diners is true. And... What was the first one? Diners. Oh, it was the second one. More cars stolen than anywhere in the world. Ooh, anywhere in the world. No, okay, that one's false. All right. We have a couple of bagels up on the board. Both of those were true. Wow. Yes. Correct answer, which was false, was they have the densest system of highways and railroads in the world. They actually have the densest system of highways and railroads in the U.S., not the world. What did I say? What was my answer? Most diners in the world. Diners. They've got a lot of diners. Actually, fun fact on that one. The city of Newark, not the whole state, just the city of Newark, has more cars stolen than L.A. and New York City combined. Really? Yes. That's amazing. That's... I'm flabbergasted. In other news, we're going to plan a trip to Newark very soon. I had to stay at the airport there one time. Road trip. All right. All right. Road trip, but we'll be flying back home. Yes, we will. All right, question number two. All of the following about New Jersey are true, except A, the first shopping mall in the U.S. was opened in New Jersey. Okay. B, the first official baseball game was played in New Jersey. Or C, the first Indian reservation was in New Jersey. Which one is false? The obvious one has to be the Indian one, but... You know. You didn't specify what type of Indian. I did not specify. Okay. I bet the Indian one's true. Dot or feather? Anybody, venture a guess. I'll go Indian. I got to go Indian reservation. It just seems too obvious. What was the second one? First official baseball game was played in New Jersey. Okay. I got to say that one's false. All right. Mindy, jump in on this. What do you think? The Indian one's true. All right. You're going to go Indian. Okay. She's saying it's true. Oh, which is false? Yeah. The baseball one. Okay. Glad to report that we still have a tie zero to zero to zero. Wow. The first shopping mall was not in the U.S. It was in like Missouri or something. Wow. Neither two are true. Yes. Okay. All right. Question three, moving right along. Anybody want to jump in on this game? 800-893-9562. You can win a car. If you... And then you'll drive it to Newark and you will not have it anymore. You won't have it after that. All of the following quotes from the hit movie Garden State are true. I got this one. And this is a very... Lots of angst and apathy in this movie. So I'm going to try to be as monotone as I can. So these are all quotes except for one. Ready? A. If nothing else, it's life. It's real and sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's sort of all we have. B. Nothing is as profound as the moment when you realize you don't have it. Nothing is as profound as the moment when you realize you don't have it. It doesn't matter. Your life doesn't matter and you just have to deal with it. Or C. My hair is blowing in the wind. B. A. We panned him. I think she's packing a bowl back there. Oh, that was great. We panned you to answer the question and you're just staring directly down, probably texting or something. Oh, yeah. Weed? Yeah. Oh, you caught me. We have a leader now. The correct answer, which was false, was B. Not going to say the quote again, but Dream, you are up one to nothing. Wow. Heading into the final question. You love that movie, don't you? Never seen it. Fair enough. All right. Last one. Final question, Justin. You can tie or Dream, you can win. Here we go. All of the following facts about the show Jersey Shore are true, except A. Because of her short height, Snooki is technically classified as a dwarf. B. None of the cast members are actual Jersey natives. Or C. Jennifer J. Wow Farley was once the vice president of marketing for a social networking website. Oh. What was the number? What was the B? What was number B? None of the cast members are actual Jersey natives. Okay. I'm going to go A. I don't think Snooki is an actual dwarf. Okay. Yeah, I don't think she is either. But you can't guess the same guy. You can, and then you can guarantee yourself. I know that's what I was thinking. Yeah, I mean, if you don't want to be a man, you can guess the same thing as me. Yeah, sure. I know that, I want to say most of them are not from Jersey, so I'm going to go with B. You're going to say that that's false, that none of them? Oh, there's, that none of them are. None of them are Jersey natives was B. Nobody knows how to play this game. Okay, I'm going to go C. You're going to go C. All right. Got you on that one again, fellas. So by default there, Kareem wins one to nothing. Wow. So actually one, I believe her name is Sammy Sweetheart or something. She is an actual Jersey native, but she's the only one out of the entire cast that is from Jersey. Wow. So by default you win. Well, sort of. He actually won, but yeah. You got one correct from the entire game. Wow. So Salt Lake City is getting what? Salt Lake City YMCA. What are you going to be donating, Kareem? I'm going to donate to them root beer. Root beer. Because Mormons can drink root beer. But not any other sodas. But not any other sodas. It's clever. That's clever. Caffeine free. That's very clever. Well, thanks for pointing it out. Now do we have the theme song? I mean, this is- Oh, we can get that going. Oh my goodness. This just sounds like- This is why Kareem is off camera. This is why he stays off camera right now. That's going to be the whole show, man. Oh, man. That's going to be the whole show. Well, thank you. That's all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for playing Wait, Wait, I Have No Fucking Idea. And I think we lived up to the billing right there. Yeah, that was an apt title for that game, for sure. Well, 800-893-9562. The calls are pouring in on the Jack in the- The switchboards are broken. I mean, they're just flooded. Yeah. No. On the Jack in the Box hot mess phone line right there. Jake and I made a stop by Jack in the Box on the way over here tonight. Oh, there was a tweet at Jerseylicious. Oh, really? Yeah. It says, at Tracy DeMarco Epps. Oh, really? Yeah. I look up to you. You embrace your curves and you stand up for yourself. Respect, Team Tracy, Jerseylicious. Respect, Team Tracy. There we go. That makes no sense. Clearly not a fan of the show. Not at all. Not at all. Well, guys, we're going to keep it moving along. I mean, this show, talk about substance. I think this show has it right here. And thank you for tuning into that. We're going to be right back here on the Ring of, with the Ring of Fire right here on StarCast. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Let's go, go down these roads We can make them all If we lose our way I promise I will stay I don't want to wait long So pack your things, let's go The sun is getting low We'll find someplace to call home We'll find someplace to call home We'll find someplace to call home I'm on the road to freedom. I'm on the road to practice law. I promise I will stay. I don't want to wait, mom. So pack your things, let's go. The sun is getting low. We'll find some place to call home. Oh, oh, oh. We'll find some place to call home. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. We'll find some place to call home. Oh, oh, oh. We'll find some place to call home. We're back right now on Sarcastic News Live. My name is Justin Cross. I'm here with Jake the Snake Craney, Kareem the Dream Maddox, and Rob Weissman will be calling in in a few minutes here. We're doing Ring of Fire coming up now. Mindy, do you have, did I, okay, that's fine. We can stall. I'll start to set up the Ring of Fire. We can stall. Tonight, we're going to talk a little bit about the healthcare initiative that happened just the other day and that actually is starting to be implemented, sort of. And like I mentioned earlier, as Stephen Hayes from Fox News implicated, is that the Democrats and the Obama administration basically had contractors out there. They knew the site wasn't going to be working, but they wanted to do it anyway in order to make sure that we pushed that, got that through, even though they knew it wasn't going to be working. So pretty ballsy claim, I would say. Pretty ballsy claim that that's the case. And I know that both guys here have done some shady shit, Jake the Snake being one of them right now. So I want to get their opinions on that. But Mindy, are we ready? We ready for the, do you have the Ring of Fire by chance? Yes! That's almost perfect. Such a tease. It is! It's the computers! They're stalling on me! It's a burning thing. And it makes a fiery ring. Bound by wild desire. I fell into a ring of fire. Here we go. Keep going. Keep it going. I fell into a burning ring of fire. I kept drinking wine and it never got hard. Then I passed out in the studio. Yeah. That's good. Have I ever told you you have a lovely singing voice? I literally just like talking enough. I'm just like, we fell into the ring of fire. You're like, you could be like the new Cake. Remember that band? Oh, yeah, yeah. They just, they were very good at enunciating. Yeah, they just talked. Yeah. Yeah, so we were talking about healthcare a few minutes ago and during our rundown here. And first of all, I want to ask you guys, do you, first of all, do you guys feel like, A, this was a conspiracy, in any way sort of meant to be by the Obama administration. They just sort of wanted to get that up in order for Republicans not to be able to sort of block it, you know? Do either of you guys feel like that? No, I think it was just really poorly planned and really poorly done. They commissioned government subsidies to build it instead of like a software firm that could have easily done it without all of the bugs and all of the problems. I think it was just really poorly thought out because of some time constraints, perhaps. Yeah, no, I think time constraints are big. What we have here in this like conspiracy theory, I think is a case of mistaken motivation, right? They didn't do this as a, you know, for what was the conspiracy theory that there's, they basically wanted to push it through or. Yeah, they wanted to go ahead and get everything going, push it through. So that way the Republicans didn't have any talking or any points to sort of block, you know, the healthcare bill itself. Right, well, yeah. I mean, like I said, I think that they probably did want to get the, the healthcare exchange up, the federal one up on the date that they said they were going to get it up, right? So there's a strict deadline. Whereas if you're at a company like, I don't know, Google and your software isn't working, you can push it back. I mean, you know, it's, there's still deadlines, but you can push it back until it's working at 11. You know, you always get updates for your Apple and that kind of thing, right? So I'm just kind of comparing it to different apps, but. So, so for sake of argument, let's assume it's not a conspiracy, right? Let's say, let's assume they weren't politically motivated by this, right? How? Can an administration where this is literally, this is their milestone legislation. This is something that will be in Obama's legacy, right? Forever. We've never had a healthcare bill pass like that, like this in this country. How then could it be this poorly planned, especially to some of the Republicans points by an administration that, that is fairly tech savvy, that you, that you, I mean, I receive on average 20 emails per day from these people. You know, how, how are they not able to sit here and, and I mean, it's one thing to be overloaded with server traffic for, you know, traffic on your, your server for so, you know, for so many days or weeks. I mean, that's, that's hard, but the fact that the idea that people are submitting, you know, applications and then they're being transmitted to the insurance companies wrong. Like if you put down that you have a husband or, you know, a spouse and then they go down as a child, I mean, that's incest folks. I mean, but no, seriously, how, how, how is, how is it this poorly? Well, some of those, some of the intricacies of, of having the system and where it filters are a lot different than a simple like email blast chain for, for instance. But a short answer is they fucked up, but longer answer is they do have a lot on their plate. You know, they're not, this isn't the sole purpose of their administration. They they're dealing with a lot of different things right now and it was rushed and it was poorly planned. And it was just kind of a, I don't know, I don't know what to call it, an oversight or a lack of, lack of control. You could call it that. Yeah. I don't know. It's like they're creating something new. Like you said, it's not like I heard a comparison on Twitter. Someone was like, Oh, you know, my website gets 250,000 hits a day. How could they not design a website? Well, you were talking to me because sarcastic-news.com received $250,000, $250,000. And you were like, you know, people can come on and click and there's no problem with the website. And it's like, that's not the same thing. It's completely different. They're building something. They had to build it from the ground up. You know, they didn't have the smartest people. When you think of the internet and the smartest people, um, creating software and you know, though you think of like the Sergey Brin's in the, you know, people over at Amazon and whatever. And those aren't the people that they could hire just because of pretty strict contracting rules, um, within the government. Sergey Brin, by the way, my favorite 1960s tennis player by far. Uh, it's just not the same as like a, they, they mentioned like Wikipedia. Well, Wikipedia has millions of hits per day. Well, yeah, it's a simple, simple website to operate and use. It's not the thing that they're trying to build. And I might add the major research tool for sarcastic-news.com by the way, just wanted you guys to know. That's how I knew Snooki was a dwarf. Don't give away our secrets, Nick. All right. I'm sure there are other sarcastic news podcasts out there trying to steal her. Speaking of conspiracy theories, right? There's people, there's also the argument to be made that there's, uh, red States are States where they're there. State Congress is primarily is Republican and their governor is a Republican where, who didn't set up, do their best job to set up their individual state healthcare exchanges. Right? So the federal one is supposed to like, I thought you meant states where the ozone layer is really thinning and they're just sunburned. Right. Something like that. But, um, uh, yeah, so you, the federal one just, you know, takes basic information and, you know, redirects you. Right. And so in States like California where it's been set up, you know, I forgot what the website is in California here in California, but, um, then it's working a little bit better. www.pornhub.com is the website. Is that it? Yes, exactly. Well, I knew that theory, right? So the theory basically is that, uh, that those States, because we, because the national government and the federal government has to contract with those local governments and the state government. And the state governments basically aren't doing their part, right? They're not, they're not, their websites aren't set up. They're not ready to go. And it's done maliciously or on purpose. They just leave, they just leave the government to do it. They don't, they don't help at all. Right. And like what no one is, I mean, some people are saying it, but it's like, there's so many people trying to sign up. Is that not, we're talking about, you know, the affordable care act itself. Like, is that proof that the law does not work? It's a bad law. I mean, you know, it's not perfect, but so many people are trying to do it. That has crashed, you know, the internet. Do you guys feel like though, do you feel that this will be any sort of black mark on the administration themselves? Not if it gets fixed. No, nobody will remember. I don't remember three days ago, Cross. I don't remember this, this, whatever it was called. Okay. So you think, you think, okay, let's do over under timeline when, when it gets fixed. Over under? Set out a number, Kareem, and then we're going to go over or under? I could probably get this fixed in three months. Three months. Three months. Oh, I'm taking the under. Yeah. Wow. Okay. All right. I'll take the under on that. Now we got, we have a caller. I think it's maybe our guest comedian, Rob Weissman. Is Rob Weissman in the house? Rob Weissman is in the house. What's up? Rob, how you doing, man? Let's get your take real quick. I want to get your take on the Obama, the Obama administration, healthcare.gov, or I think, is that what it is? Healthcare.gov. It's down right now. It's not working. Yeah. Well, it's somewhere. Oh, it's down. Totally down? Like, absolutely nothing? No, no. It's kind of working, just not for a lot of people. Like, it totally crashed? Well, I heard it's only, like, it's something one in ten people. Only one person out of ten people actually gets to go all the way through, and it takes something like seven hours. Right. If you understand. Right. Yeah. Right? Like, if you're there, if you have seven hours to kill, then you're maybe one of those ten people. It's like you're driving to work in L.A., basically. Yeah. It takes seven hours, and then you have to turn around right after that. So, start on it. Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean, obviously, I think it's just like now, like, it's just kind of like a funny little thing that's going on now, but, like, if Obamacare, like, ends up being this huge success, I don't think anyone's ever going to really, like, remember it. Like, I'm pretty sure they'll fix it, right? Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, they're going to have to. They're going to have to fix it. So, you're right. You're right about that. I mean, after all that, the government shut down and everything, to have it, you not being able to even log in or put your name on it. Put your name in it. I mean. Are you going to? Let me ask you this, Rob. You're a comedian. Are you going to use Obamacare? Are you going to use the Affordable Care Act? Maybe sample it a little bit, you know? I don't know. Get the toothpick out and just taste it? I think you have to, right? You don't have to. Yeah, you have to. I mean, if I. You get penalized. Well, if you don't have health care, yeah. I hope I don't have to use it. Like. You're saying if I'm a comedian, I'm going to go out and hurt myself at some point? That and there's a better chance, better than likely chance you don't have health care already if you're a comedian. Yeah. You're a simple-minded clown. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. No, no. I was being you talking to me. Comedian speech. I see. I see. I don't know. I mean, yeah. I suppose. Like, you know. There's been times before. I've dislocated my shoulder and I just ended up never paying the bill, actually. Really? My neighbor called. I didn't have a car at the time. And my neighbor called the ambulance. And I'm like, oh, wow. This is great. They're going to come in and put my arm in place. But of course, like the medic, they can't do anything. So they go and give me like a $700 basic ambulance ride down the street to the most expensive hospital in all of South Bay. And a little couple of days later, I'm like, oh, my God. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. The guy's like, hey. mean in pain because the longer it's out, the more it hurts. Like everything starts spasming. So then I'm like, yeah, just knock me out cold. And they said they gave me more morphine. The lady liked me, the nurse. She said she gave me more morphine than they give women in labor. And it's like, yeah, like a bartender's like, oh, don't worry, I put that screw whiskey in this drink for you. But instead of whiskey, you know, morphine. What they didn't realize, that's just your normal personality, Rob. Like they're just trying to be, they're just trying to make you shut up. That's really what they're trying to do. Oh, man. Oh, man. Well, the morphine just made me real pleasant. Oh. Are you selling it now? Are you like, that's another thing. Are you selling it to fellow comedians? Am I what? Am I selling morphine? Sure. Yeah. I mean, it's. Who isn't? I mean, I'm just saying, comedians like morphine. They like a lot of things. It's not like she's like, you're right. She's not like, well, here you go, kid. You were so good. Here's a couple bottles of morphine or whatever. Yeah. I just got the morphine that they put into my body. Well, I want to revisit kind of a subject we brought up. This is a little more, obviously, well, it's a lot more serious to think in a way. Not that Obamacare isn't or healthcare isn't at all. But Kareem brought this to my attention last night. And the new research study conducted in Russia TV. Is it Russia TV? Is it RT? The study? Yeah. The study was. It was out of the University of Washington. Right. Right. Right. And 500. The University of Washington. And then it was the study was shown on Russian TV. No. Never mind. There's a there's a new site. There's a new. There's a yeah. There's a news organization called Russian TV. But they sort of brought to light the study that was out of the University of Washington. Okay. About 500,000. A new study shows 500,000 people were killed directly or indirectly in the Iraq war. And so. Wow. Yeah. And these were these are numbers that were sort of starkly higher than previous estimates. And I want to start with. Is this known? Is this. Well, this is the Russian TV numbers. No, no. This is this is like the most sophisticated study that they've done from the notes that Kareem passed to me. Wow. Of of the casualties that have been suffered in Iraq. And I want to know. I want to start with Kareem on this. So hold your horses, Rob. Okay. Hold your horses. I'm cool. My horses are tied up at the horse stable. Don't worry. I don't know what that means. I don't know. I don't know either. Anyway, go on. They're eating grain and pooping right now. Don't worry about it. They're getting carrots and everything. As we segue into the death tone Iraq. Jesus. Kareem the dream. Talk a little bit about this. Yeah. So this study, it's the most comprehensive study to date on casualties of the U.S. led war in Iraq. Right. And it says. Previous estimates are, I think, around the 100,000 most around like 100,000 mark, you know, specifically ones that got published or, you know, that has the government has acknowledged. But this new study kind of goes a little bit more in depth. All right. They study it in a different way. They survey Iraqi civilians. And whereas past studies would just kind of take figures from like, oh, bit pages and things like that, which aren't necessarily reliable. Right. So it says 500,000 people. And. Today. This is the thing. This is what's crazy to me. Is we kind of live in a world now. Right. Where. Imagine this. Let me start over. Imagine this. Another country is bombing the U.S. Just sporadically using drugs. Right. And imagine our President Obama going to that country's leader and saying, look. We need you to stop doing this. You're killing civilians. You're looking for terrorists and you are killing them. But you're also killing civilians. and the foreign country who's doing this, their president or their leader says, you know, we can't stop. Like, what's going to happen? We're going to go to war. Like, you know, anyone attacks US law. So what's happening in Pakistan now... Yeah, oh my God. You know, Pakistani prime minister was in the Oval Office today, welcomed cordially into the Oval Office and was like, look, you have to stop these drone strikes. In Pakistan, you're killing civilians and it's like, it's not very nice. You know, I know that we're not at war with Pakistan technically, right? But we are, you know, administering drone strikes in their country. Yeah. And it's just like, does anyone else find that kind of crazy? Like, if that happened here, we would go to war with that country. But here's the question that I'll throw out there and neither of you guys jump in. To that point though, do the ends... I mean, it sounds crazy when... It sounds crazy when you give us facts, Kareem. But do the ends justify the means, for instance? And we just have a few more minutes, guys. But do the ends... Do the ends justify the means, right? And I'm not necessarily talking about Iraq. Let's take Iraq out of it because I... And I don't know about Rob, but I think universally we probably all agree that that was not the right war to be in. Well, yeah, not at all, no. But in general, like say Pakistan now or take tons... There's tons of situations like this where we invade a country, but, you know, for the reason of terrorism or for some idea that the ends justify the means. Let's take it like that, right? Are there situations where do you think that... Like, it's okay? It's okay to do that? It's okay to kill civilians in the name of trying to go after terrorists or go after people who could actually be harmed to us? Well, I think if we could actually predict the ends, which I don't think that we know what the ends are going to be. Like, they're really... Like, we can say that all we want, but, like, when you have means such as these, I don't think it's good, at least for the ends that we say that we want to be about, which is less terrorism. If you go and you start, like you're saying, like if someone bombs the United States, and someone bombs the United States, and you say, like, we are, you know, it was a much weaker country, I think that it would sow some very, very bad, bad seeds. And who knows, like, what kind of, you know, what kind of plants those seeds would grow into. It would probably be a lot of, like, what another country would call terrorism. Because, I mean, you're going, like you said, you're bombing civilians. Iraq wasn't about, supposed to be about terrorism at all. And I guess before the war, there was no terrorists before. I mean, I don't know for, you know, per a study or anything. But there were no, like, terrorist people. No, I think the reason, I don't even remember why we went in. I think it had to do something with, like, cornstarch or something. He had weapons of mass destruction that we had to go in there to get these weapons. Oh, right. And, yeah, there was, like, all the terrorism that goes on. We'll be out of there in 12 months. Don't worry about it, folks. Sure. You guys heard? Mission accomplished, baby. Mission accomplished. They just liberated them. They're still liberated. Yeah. Oh, man. That's the... The common kind of misconception is that, like, Iraqis, the average, you know, citizen of Iraq is, like, thankful to the United States for bringing down Saddam Hussein and, you know, busting down their door, essentially. And I don't think, just, like, from a common sense standpoint, if I think, like, I don't know if I'd be so... I wouldn't be grateful to, essentially, invaders. You know what I mean? No, I think, and I think on our end, the justification at the time was this massive group thing that was going on because of 9-11. And it was this whole thing where you had... I mean, I lived in the South. Jake, you were in the South at the time. And, Rob, you may have been in... I was in the Midwest. You grew up in a field, yeah. Very similar. Very similar. And she was out running, like, cops in Des Moines over there. So, but, you know, in places like that, especially, there's a lot of patriotism, you could call it, or they could call it. And the idea was it created kind of a group thing, I think, in that process. Now, guys, that was a... I love to end things... I love to end things on extremely heavy topics, which require a lot more depth. But... Thank God you got the comedian, Rob, to come here. Seriously. To get to the fact. To get to the fact. I have some more Jersey Shore trivia if you want to close out on that. No, I do want to close out. We have just a couple more minutes here. And I do want to go around here. I mean, might as well end it on a real uplifting note. This week, well, tonight, the World Series begins. And Boston is... I don't know. They won tonight, right, Jake? Let me check on that. I'm pretty sure they won. Yeah. They were ahead. Does anybody think St. Louis comes back and wins this? Anybody? I will... And I will... This is true. I will give to the top three people who tweet out the actual winner of the World Series, if they guess St. Louis, I will give them $5. Red Sox won 8-1 tonight, by the way. All right. So if St. Louis wins, I will give... Anybody in this room who actually predicts St. Louis wins, and Rob... But is there a penalty if they don't win, though? No, it's a win-win. But I'll take St. Louis now just to offshed, I might get $5 from you, which I would frame if I got. I would never spend. I'll sign it. I'll sign it. Oh, that's... It's going to be in pesos. Justin doesn't actually own $5. It's just going to be a piece of paper that says five on it. You guys like my desperate attempt to get Twitter followers? I'll give you $5. Please. All you have to do is be wrong. Just hashtag... Hashtag Jerseylicious, and I'll give you $5. We're going to figure out some social media ploy that just starts to rake people in, but for now, I have to literally PayPal people $5. I think I owe Skid Row $5 at least. Anyway, hey, Rob, thank you very much for joining us tonight. Hey. Hey, thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, man. Anytime. Filling in at the last minute. It's Rob Weissman, Comedian Rob, and they can catch you. Rob, they can catch you. They being the huge audience can catch you where? The huge audience. What's your website? We actually have a really good comedy show. If anyone is ever near Hermosa Beach, every Tuesday night, I host a show where we do have some of the top-like talent in the city that comes in. Next week, we have a guy named Adam Hunter, which if anyone's a big MMA fan, he's the guy who roasts the MMA fighters. He's been, like, you know, in all the big shows, Letterman, Leno, super funny guy, and he'll be there on Tuesday. And on Wednesday, Letterman and Leno will be headlining. Sure, yeah. Together. Yeah, because they get along well. And Wednesday night, we'll watch them in the pizza parlor together. I like you guys put on a good show. You and Ryan put on a good show there, and I enjoy it. I've done a couple shows there myself, and I enjoy it. And I like the Olin Mills backdrop that you guys have there, too, as well. It's really... It's a good one. So Padone's Pizza, catch Rob Wiseman, and I think, and Ryan also, Ryan Bozano also hosts down there. And catch Rob on Twitter, at crazyman. No, what's your Twitter? Wiseman Digital. Wiseman Digital. At Wiseman Digital. Rob, thanks a lot for joining us, my man. Cool, guys. Thanks a lot. Have a good night. And guys, you have been listening to Sarcastic News Live. My name is Justin Cross. I'm for Kareem the Dream Maddox. Kareem, thank you for preparing all those notes which were not necessarily used. No, Jake the Snake Craney. Guys, thank you very much. My name is Justin Cross. You can catch us on Twitter, at Sarcastic News 1. We are just now, we have just eclipsed the 5,000 Twitter followers. Boom, 5K. So we're over 5K on Twitter. Also, sarcastic-news.com, daily content, and also on Facebook, Sarcastic News 1. Guys, thank you for listening. We'll be back next week, right here on Sarcastic News Live. We've been here for 28 years. Palance red beneath these wheels. Tattooed lines beneath our skin. No surrender, my...