Magician Arthur Gomez and Amazon Eve visit

We'll be right back. We'll be right back. What do you think of the new theme? It's very gothy. I like it. It's very eerie. Yes, yes. So we've got two great guests coming up. First off, the one-year anniversary last week, I'm still buzzing over it. It was fantastic. Jim Tom, Max, Sin Fisted, great. And Arthur Gomez, who was here, he was a magician, and we didn't really get to a lot of him because there was so much stuff going on. He's going to come here and he's going to make it up today with some magic tricks, picked up some silverware. I don't know what he's got in mind. Also, one of our favorite guests, Amazon Eve is on her way, and she's the world's tallest model, 6'8", in bare feet of pure sexiness. I wrestled her last time she was on the show. I don't know what's going to happen today. So it's going to be a good show, and everybody's coming. I was the only one that was on time, but the show must go on. So here we are. I do want to say there's a couple things. There's a couple things going on. I did want to say I will be performing Monday, if you're in L.A., as part of the Night of 100 Comics, and that will be at the Universal Bar and Grill. Starts at 6.30, goes until 2 in the morning, and Ryan Talmo, who's on Dave Berger's show, which is at 10, will be hosting, and I am doing my one-man show, I Laughed So Hard I Cried, and that is going to be. I'll be doing that at the Complex Theaters. The magician is here, Mindy. The magician is here, Mindy. He's magically appeared. If there's any way you can go downstairs and get him. I'll go make some magic happen. Please make some magic happen. I'll bring you a magician. Please bring me a magician. And so the magician is here. And speaking of magic, I want to let you know that if you like The Dark Marks Show, you know that we are sponsored by Audible.com. I love Audible books. I'm always on the road. I love listening to audio books. And since we have such an interesting guest, I wanted to say, if you're interested in magic, they've got a lot of magic books on Audible. If you just look up Houdini, you'll get a ton of stuff. Fooling Houdini, Magicians, Mentalists, Math Geeks, and the Hidden Powers of the Mind by Alex Stone. You'll get The Secret Life, Houdini, Making of America's First Superhero. So there's plenty of magic in Houdini books. And since we have a very large woman coming, and she's very big, very beautiful, I want to let you know, if you go to Audible, they have a book called Big Girl Panties. And that is by, that is Big Girl Panties, a model by Stephanie Evanovich. And that is also available on Audible.com. Here he is. I was just texting you. Okay, here he is. Everybody remembers Arthur Gomez. Arthur, come on in. I like the shirt. Have a seat. Anywhere you want. I was just talking. I'm telling everybody, if you want a free audio book and a 30-day free trial for Audible.com, all you got to do is go to www.darkmarkshow.com. Go right next to my smiling face. There's a little Audible button. You push that. Free, absolutely free. Sign on with your Amazon account, and you get free books. You just type in whatever you want. They've got something there. Look, magic. Forget about it. There's all sorts of stuff. The magic of thinking big. The magic treehouse. You got. You got. You got all sorts of stuff. There's a lot of Houdini books. And so, three magic words, earth magic, all sorts of stuff. I'm trying to think of something that pertains to you, but they've got stuff by Penn Jillette. They've got Houdini books. They've got all sorts of stuff. Okay. How to do magic. I don't know how. Oh, yeah. Come on. Have a seat. Put the headphones on if you can. To do magic. It says how to do sex. I wonder what that is. But I don't think it's magic. I don't think you need that, Arthur. So, if you go to audible. Yeah, it's for you. www.audibletrial.com slash darkmarkshow. Or if you go to darkmarkshow.com, just sign up. 30-day free trial. Anytime within 30 days, you can cancel. Free, no obligation. So, the magician can't open the water bottle. Okay. So, we're here at Arthur Gomez. And, Arthur, I'm glad you're back. And I'm happy that you're back. Oh, thanks for having me back. It's a pleasure coming back. Well, it was funny because I was like, you were so great. I want to have you back. And you're like, anytime. I'm like, how about next week? You're like, yeah. Oh, okay. Because Art Walk's this week. Yeah. And that's in downtown LA. Tell everybody about what Art Walk is. I have a flyer, actually, for the Art Walk. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I'll give it to you. I'll take it out of my pocket. And what the Art Walk is, as you can see, a lot of artists. Let me take it out of my Ziploc bag. Right. And I have a couple flyers here. And we're downtown LA. That's a different kind of Ziploc bag than most people use down here. Oh, yeah, yeah. It's special. You know what I'm saying. Next week, by the way, the 420 special. The 420 Easter special on the Dark Mark show. Oh, okay. I just tried to plug that in. So, go ahead. So, tell us about the Art Walk. Well, the Art Walk is in downtown. It's on 5th Street and Market. It's in downtown LA. The address is 116 East 5th between Main and Los Angeles Street. And it's from 7 o'clock to 10 p.m. It's where I'm going to go after I appear on the Dark Mark show. And for all the viewers. You'll be doing magic. You'll be doing magic down there. I'll be doing magic down there, too, as well. This camera picks it up. So, show it to this camera. This is the Art Walk. If you guys don't know, downtown locals. Try to catch the Art Walk that's going on right now. My brother is actually going to be in the Art Walk. He has his booth. He's in a band called The Delicates. Oh, really? Yeah. I didn't know your brother was in a band. Yeah, he's in a band. Now you're telling me. Yeah. Was he in here last week? Because you had a whole posse here last week. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, okay. He's actually going to do a show, actually, at the Art Walk booth. All right. So, if anybody's going downtown, watch the Dark Mark show until 9, then head downtown for the Art Walk. Yeah, you'll see the Art Walk. So, we know that you do the magic. Yeah. And we also know that you've been filming it and putting it on YouTube, The Magic Savage. Yeah. And now you're at episode four. Episode four. Episode four. Clear. Episode four. Yeah. So, I'm a little behind on The Magic Savage. I got to be honest with you. It's okay. It's only a trick of luck. No, because I watched all 20-some minutes of Nightmare. Number one. Oh, this is the shortest one, actually. This is only 14 minutes. Okay. So, do you wonder, because I'm a comic, and us comics, we're reticent about putting things on YouTube because people will steal it. Oh. Are you worried about that, being a magician, that people, either that they'll steal it or they'll, oh, I know what kind of trick it is. Well, I'm not really worried about that. It's just, you know, I just, like, entertain people. And, you know, if there's comments that are on YouTube, I can easily take comments off. What's the worst comment you've had? Well, first of all, what's the best comment that you've had? Oh, very good job. You inspire me. That's a good one. I really want to start doing magic. Is there any way you could teach me? Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's a starter comment. It's actually one of my first comments I've actually gotten on YouTube, so, you know. That's good. And what's the worst comment you've had? I never had a bad comment. There was no negativity. There's never any kind of negativity, like, on YouTube. Because I've had bad comments. I can tell you bad comments. Oh, yeah. No, I think the, probably, and it was funny because I was going to delete it. Yeah. Well, I get a lot of, he's not really goth, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I had one. That was, it was so, it was so succinct and sort of like, you know, okay, you're entitled to your opinion. That's sort of, somebody just put crap ranting. Oh, wow. And I let it slide because I was like, you know what? What am I going to do? And the question is also, what are they going to do? They can't really do anything. Yeah. I mean, I could, I could delete it, but it's like, whatever. I mean, everybody's entitled to their opinion. I'm not for everybody. Yeah. And people with those negative opinions, the way I see it is they don't get enough attention and those people are just like ashamed of their own selves. So they try to find a way to escape and take it out on other people. Yeah. I don't know about that. I just, I mean, I know that, you know, I'm not going to, you know, the majority of the comments are like, this guy's funny. He's hilarious. Yeah. This, that, and the other thing. But, you know, and actually all the Dark Mark show episodes are on YouTube. Oh, I've never seen them. Never had a bad, never had a bad comment on those. But my standup, I've had some people, you know, crap ranting or it's like, he's not really goth. That's, that's the thing that gets me. And so whatever. I had a girl, I was at a show the other day and the girl was like, you're not really goth comedian. Yeah. Do you need some help with that? Oh yeah. Really? Yeah. I can get that. Okay. Okay. I gotta, I gotta help the magician open a water bottle. So. It's pretty ridiculous, but you know, everyone's not perfect. It's, it's smart water. Okay. So you just, okay. Hold on. So yeah. So, uh, but how's the reaction been to, and you're putting them out real fast. This is like the, you do them every week? Well, some I can't do every week. If I can, I'll do it every week, but there's only six episodes and there's only two more to go. Oh, so you have a whole plan. You have a whole long, long range. You have a long range plan for. Yeah. Only six episodes. There's only two more episodes. Well, how about, how about this? I'll just do it like that and you can just unscrew it and drink like. Okay. Thank you. I think our other guest, Amazon, by the way, we're going to have a beautiful assistant for you. She's a, she's, she's a big girl. She's very large. She's the world's tallest model. Interesting. I should see how tall she is when she comes. Oh yes. Uh, and matter of fact, uh, Mindy, can you get the world's tallest model? She's at the door. Okay. All right. All right. So anyway, but, um, and, and, uh, you know, what was great about last week is that you and G Tom Mack really bonded and you guys are like from different generations, but man, you guys really bonded and he really loved, he dug your magic. I dig his vocals. His vocals. I mean, you guys. It's like I'm watching a, it's like, it's like a music video right next to me. He was great. He blew everybody away. I was very. His vocals are strong. Yeah. Well, he's been doing it. He's, I mean, he knows what he's doing. The guitar, guitar playing amazing. I was listening to the show and that's why I had you back. Because. With him, Sin Fisted, I'm sure all that stuff blew you away. The sparking and the, and the feet and all that stuff. Uh, she's, um, so it was, uh, there was a lot of stuff and that's why I didn't get to you that much. That's okay. For now I want to get, yeah. I just wanted to see what everybody else had, you know, I didn't want to feel left out as the only person. Right. They could do two stuff. I feel like I actually bonded and I was the only one. But there's a lot of people that could do amazing things too. And it's good to be entertained by others. Yeah. So, uh, so what's the, so what is the, does number six, does that end with a really huge, like. Trick like, uh, like, you know, when David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear or Criss Angel walks on a building or. Whoa. Oh yeah. Oh, he was in the. Oh, look who's here. Amazon E, the world's tallest model. This is Arthur Gomez. The, uh, the not so punctual comedian. How are you? How are you? I'm fine. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. As promised. Yes. She is six foot eight in her bare feet, but you're wearing heels, right? I'm not wearing heels today. Oh, she's got flats today. I wore flats. Yeah. I decided to, I had, what did I was, what was I wearing last time? I forgot. Oh, you were wearing tights if I recall correctly, because we wrestled. I remembered that. I was, I was wearing boots with four inch heels, I think. Yes. And we got on, we got on the ground. We got on the ground over there. We got busy. We did. We got a little busy. I was, uh, yeah, it was, she made me tap out. She put me a guillotine choke and made me tap out. You got to watch the, it's a very funny episode, but, and then she tased, uh, uh, Tesla coils nipples. So. These things happen on the Dark Mark show all the time. Exactly. So now you're very busy. Like this is Arthur Gomez. He was on our, our anniversary show last week and he was so good that we wanted to. He's a little fellow. We wanted to have him back. He's, how tall are you, Arthur? Five, nine. Five, nine. Do you guys want to stand up so we get some perspective? Can we, are we going to get this on the camera? Make sure we get the wide shot here. Stand up, Arthur. Stand up, Arthur. Trust me. It's, it's a treat standing next to Amazon Eve because you, you, you'll be right at, the perfect, oh, that's, that's good. Hold on. I got to get a shot of that. So I've been at that level. It's great. Amazon Eve. I, and I'm so glad you're, you're back Amazon because, uh, I'll get a shot of you guys later. Thank you for having me back. I'll get a shot of you guys later. Sit down. It's not going to, yeah. You don't want me to pick him up? Do you want to pick him up? I can pick him up. Arthur, it would be, well, let's ask. Arthur, it would be okay if Amazon Eve picked you up. Oh, we won't hurt you one bit. Hold on. Hold on. Make sure I got, I want to make sure I got the camera here. So Amazon Eve has offered to pick up our, our magician, Arthur Gomez. Oh, Arthur, are you okay with this? Can you make me shorter? Are you that kind of magician? That's Chris Mason. That's Chris Mason. I don't know. So, uh, Amazon Eve's taking off her jackets, uh, and I remember that, that's trouble. And so she's going to pick up Arthur. Arthur? Arthur. We'll, we'll, we'll do something. We'll do the one arm pickup. We won't, we won't do anything. You're going to pick up Arthur with one arm. We won't be doing anything. Okay. Okay. Wait a second. Ah. With ease. You picked up Arthur Gomez, a full grown man with ease. You all right? Did she, did she break any ribs? What's going on? No, no, no. You okay there? How did that feel, Arthur? Did you get a rise out of that? I felt like she wasn't even trying. Like, I see her arm wasn't even like moving and stumbling. It wasn't even like. She's a strong woman. I know. I know. I know. So Amazon Eve and Arthur. Yeah. That's the name. Amazon Eve. Amazon. Make sure you get to the mic. So, uh. I'm at the mic now. Yeah. Make sure you got the headphones on so you can hear yourself. They fall off though, so. I know. I know. I know. Oh, by the way, did you bring the spoon? I did. Here's the funny thing about the spoons. Cause Arthur's like, can you bring forks or spoons? I bought forks this afternoon, left them in the car. I took the train down. So I went to a drugstore and bought some. So we got, we've got silverware here. So we got some drinks. I forgot to ask you. I forgot to ask you. Do you, you don't have any sugar packets or salt packets? Do we? Do you have any sugar or salt packets? I will go hunt. Okay. I'll come back. Maybe he's going to check for sugar and salt packets. Okay. How would crushed red pepper work? Nah. Eh. If it's in a packet or. Oh, it's in a pack. I'll see what I can do. Okay. If you have to eat it though, you have to ask people. Whatever you guys. Are there going to be sugar packets? It could be any kind of packets with like powder inside it. Packet. Well, yeah. Well, we're downtown. So if you can find some packets of powder. Is there any conception going on? Yeah. I was going to say downtown, we can find some packets of powder inside, but I don't know if that should be on the air. You got it. You got it the second time I said it. Can I come next week? Yeah. You can come any week. I'm not going to be here. I thought you were going to. You're going to Vegas. Actually, I'm actually going to the Nevada. I'm going to. Well, that's not until the end of May. I'm going to the Nevada Supreme Court Wednesday. Oh, what's going on? I'm doing some election law with a candidate who's running for state controller, Mike Schaefer. Oh, you were telling me about that. Now, let me bring Arthur up to speak to the Amazon Eve story because Amazon Eve, as with every beautiful woman I've ever seen. I've ever known. It's like when I was a kid, I was a skinny girl and nobody liked me. No boys liked me. And now she's blossomed into this beautiful flower that you see before her, before you. This, she's really, I mean, when you talk about blossom, she blossomed. Yeah. The tallest weed in the woods. So, so she. Beautiful. Tallest flower. Flower. Tallest flower in the woods. I'm sorry. You're like. A perfect flower. It was a beanstalk came up. I, you, you trust me. I. I, I, every time I post a picture of you, I still have people finding pictures I posted of you for the last, from your last appearance last month that like it and comment and everybody when they see the pictures, you go, wow. I love the fans are insatiable. Right. Well. Best, best, best, best sort of best source of love I get in this world. It's the fans. They send me so many beautiful emails. I understand you're insatiable too. What was, what's the best email that you've gotten from a fan? I received one from a fan that saw me as, um, a light in this world. Well, someone that's going to bring about change kind of like almost, uh, um, a divine omen, shall I say? Okay. Yes. Wow. I'm here to change the world. Sort of like mother nature is kicking back to put that male privilege and shrink it down to size. Is that your mission here? I think so. Yeah. And, uh, speaking of shrinking down to size, I'm sure that you laugh at the dick pics that you get. All the time. I'm sure you get plenty of them too. Yes. Mr. Puniverse. Do you ever respond like, Oh, come on, dude, I'm six foot eight and you're showing me your two inch penis. I don't think that's going to work. Oh, the guy's got to think that it's like a Chihuahua humping a great Dane. You know, it's a, this is radio so we can go there, right? You can say whatever you want. I can say fuck. You can say fuck, whatever you want. Say a lot of fucks. Yeah. Yeah. We encourage profanity. I love the word. Fuck it. By the way, it's my kind. It's like Buddhism for rednecks, you know? Right. By the way, we're going to have a Buddhist rapper on a later on this month. Yeah. And so we got, yeah, you got to check out the show. Everybody's I've got things for everybody, but so you're going to Tokyo too. Yes. I'm going to Tokyo. I'm doing a special there. We're doing a travel show there. I'm big in Japan. I'm big in Japan. You got a rim shot there, Mindy? Yeah. So, so you, are you going to be hosting the game show or are you going to be participating? No, it's not a game show. It's a travel show. Are you going to be, you're going to be like the Anthony Bourdain of Tokyo? Well, I've asked to see some specific things, but they're going to show, it's going to be just really one of those travel shows. We're going to see some traditional Kyoto. We're going to go to Mount Fuji. We might see a little Kabuki theater. I've asked to see the Taiko Kodo drums, the big gigantic thunder drums. I've always loved that. But, but next to you, standing next to you, they're not going to be, they're going to be like bongos next to you, right? I want to, I'm a big drummer girl. I've always wanted to, I study music theory, so drums are, drums are what keep time. I'm a big drummer. Yeah, Mindy drums, she's our producer. We don't really have a co-host tonight, so Mindy, I guess is the co-host tonight. Mindy is a drummer. I've seen her, I've seen her in her band. Mindy on the mic. Mindy on the mic. But, so Amazon, so Amazon Eve, so she, her parents were, were, were tall people. So she, she grew up to be a tall woman and I didn't, and I didn't know this, but you were a lawyer for a long time, right? I would say the Jedi of jurisprudence. I can't call myself a lawyer. How is this a wrap your head around that one? I, lawyers have a lot of limitations. I used to be a, an investigator. I used to work for a private security firm. I'll bet. And we did a lot of, any more, well, I'm not going to say spying. Let's just say morally flexible work back in the day. Were you, were you hired to seduce men? Is that? I wouldn't say seduce. I would say persuade. I didn't, I didn't know this. We have ways of making you talk. This is interesting. So, so wait a second. I was, I was an investigator interrogator. Oh, you were an interrogator. Okay. I was like a detective, but a private detective. Okay. I have to switch my mind. Cause I thought I was thinking like, you know, unfaithful husbands, they would hire you to go to the bar. Well, you know, the big law firms that cheat and, you know, support corporate America. You mean all of them? I worked for, you know, there's about a hundred, well, a hundred or so, private security, private investigator firms. Right. I hire a lot of ex law enforcement, fed and local police. Are you ex law enforcement? Uh, no comment. Really? No comment. That must've been, that must've been, you want, I think we need to do another police academy movie. It's starring you. Uh, you know, I'd love to be a drill sergeant. I've always, I've always aimed at, um, being like, you know, like the police woman, but Robo cop, Robo cop needed to have boobs. Right. I can say tits. Robo cop needs tits. You can say anything you want. This is the dark mark show. We can say, okay. Yes. I'm so trained to talk on public TV that I got to remember. This is, you're going to have fun on this show. All right. Even, even he's only 20 years old. He can swear too. You know what I do this. So when I go on another show, you're not supposed to say that on this show. Yeah. So, so this show did just for the next hour for the next 34 minutes, it goes by so fast, but for the next 34 minutes you can say whatever you want. And call the 800 number guys. Yes, please. 1-800-893-9562. Amazon Eve. So now, so when did you get into dominatrix? I was in the dominatrix. I was in the dominatrix. How did you get into dominatrix stuff? Well, let me, it really started when I was a personal trainer. Right. I got tired of working for the big law firms downtown doing their dirty work for them. Right. And I worked some of the most powerful law firms in the planet. I wanted to do something different because I sat on my butt all the time. So I got myself in shape and one of my clients was a professional dominatrix that told me about the world of these Amazons and I had to go do a little exploring. I found out a whole new fan base and it's pretty easy. They're basically five. They're female archetype power women. Okay. There's the nurse. Okay. And the corresponding male submissive baby or child. They have the governess, which has a secretary or servant. All right. They have the Amazon and they have the slave. They have the queen and obviously, you know, subjects and then the goddess, which has the devotees or votaries, which are the people who worship the goddess. So these are the five basic female archetypes for power women. And I tend to... Have you done them all? I've done all of them. Yes. So you'd be a nurse? Like you could... I don't play a small chick. Like, give me a prescription. Like, what would that entail? Well, let me see. Do you have any mommy issues? I don't. No. I love my mother. So I guess that's how. I see. Do you have any rock star issues? What do you mean? You know, you want a super tall supermodel next to you when you show up at the red carpet. Absolutely. Yes. Dark Mark, the premier. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I would love to take you to a premier. Of course. I'd be there with you. Oh, really? Yes. I'd wear my highest heels. That'd be great. Or actually, no. I want to be your bodyguard. I'd love that too. I want to be the bodyguard. Well, that's another archetype. I want to be the henchman. Henchwoman. That's another archetype. You know? Hey boss, you want me to go rough them ups for you? But I think this is... A lot of your subjects and a lot of the men that worship you probably want to know what kind of man you're into. Do you say that? Well, you know, I don't like putting my love life in the spotlight. I don't like putting my love life in the spotlight. I don't like putting my love life in a box. Or man or woman that you're into. Right. I like to say I'm hetero flexible. You said that last time. Yeah. I've had a variety of non-vanilla sexual experiences. Let's put it that way. Really? Yes. I've traveled the world and when you get out of the United States, been to Japan, Asia, Europe, and I've sampled a smorgasbord of physical pleasures. Anything you'd like to share with the dark mark? I'm going to say my most favorite time was nude beach in Australia. I got myself... That's when you had the threesome. No, no, no, no. That was my Blue Lagoon experience. That was Australia too. That was probably the most wild, physical, animalistic experience I could ever... It was a nude beach. There was a man and a woman. There was just a man. Okay. And he was one of those young surfer guys. Right. You know, tan, perfect body, little 22 year old. He goes, . You're tall. You know. Packing? He was packing. He was tattooed. He had little dreads. He was a young kid. He was a young kid. So it was a white guy with dreads or a black guy with dreads? I got a little cougar going on. Okay. Okay. I'm not sure what that means, but I'm assuming... Older woman, younger man. Right. Right. So yeah, I know. He was 22. Yeah. He was younger than I am. I don't mean to interrupt. Please, please, please, please. He was a tasty morsel. Right. Because Arthur's just 20 and he's looking at him. He's like, . He's like, . He's like, . What do you think I've been growling for? I know. Every time I've been on the show, I put some man meat, some bait right next to you. See if I can grab his chair. Oh, no, no, no, no. Anyway, so go on with your story. Are you turning red? He's turning red. He's turning red, yes. I'm not turning red. No, no. I want to see some magic. No, we're going to see... Okay. I want some magic. Okay. Let's get some magic. Do you need the silverware? Arthur, do you need the silverware? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Arthur, what kind of woman are you into? It really doesn't matter. What kind of sexual... Or a man. I don't know what you're into. Well, I'm not into men. Okay. You're into women. That's cool. And any crazy sexual experience like she was describing? I'll have to keep it to myself. I was talking about... Okay. So when you do a threesome, you could do two girls and a guy, but you couldn't do two guys and a girl. Like, you would be the guy with two girls, but you don't want to be with a guy. I don't want to be with a guy. Okay. All right. Okay. Hey, that's the way it goes. Are you afraid? I don't know what's going to happen tonight. Not even a woman with a strap on? Arthur is being very silent about that. Well... Have you experienced that? Experienced the threesome? No, no. Have you experienced... Well, there. Have you experienced a threesome? I can't turn you into my sissy bitch? Okay. What about a woman with a strap on? Have you experienced that? You have? But I'm going to keep it. I'm going to keep it. I don't want to talk about it. All right. Okay. We'll keep it on the down low. All right. Wow. You are a prosecuting attorney, man. Look what you got up. Executional attorney. Forget about that magic. Hold on. Hold on. I got to put the uniform on. Okay. Okay. So, was this device she used the night of the 14th of May when you had your sexual encounter? Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. This has turned into the hottest episode of Perry Mason ever. What's going on here? So, anyway, you don't have to talk about your sex life if you don't want to. Of course, there'd be about 20 minutes of background. I'm sure. Then you set them up in a row. You set them up in a rabbit hole and they go down it. Well, we were talking. When you were a prosecuting attorney and they said, everybody please rise, you towered over everybody, you must have won every case. There is no rise. I'm the tallest one in the room usually. Right. So, when you rise, you must intimidate everybody, including the judge. And they're like, okay. Well, I definitely don't want to take away from your majesty, but I got to tell you this story. My favorite story has nothing to do with any big cases. It was a traffic ticket I got. I got this little Mr. Puniverse officer, Brian Weiss from the Redondo Beach Police Department. Oh, I love doing that on the air. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. He wrote me a destruction level ticket because I bad-mouthed him just a little bit. I teased him a little bit. What's a destruction level ticket? About 14 points. That's enough to put you in jail. What did he say you did? Oh, I ran like eight stop signs. I didn't use my turning signal, oh God, six times, something like that. And I failed to yield at a turn. Something. Just ridiculousness. And what did you actually do? At court, I probably tower over him about a foot. Okay. Keep going. So I started cross-examining. I sat him up, trying to figure out where he was. And during the trial, and just setting up the basic facts of the case, I asked him two basic questions, one at the scene and at trial. And I'll try to set this up for you. I asked the officer, what was your location when you observed the first alleged violation? Right. And he laughed and joked and said, I was right behind you the entire time and you could not see me. Ha ha ha ha ha. All right. After receiving the ticket, I asked him, officer, if you were right behind me the entire time, why didn't you pull me over when you observed the first alleged violation? Oh. Uh, I was far away from you and had to speed up to catch up to you. Now that, now that sets up a set of facts that I use later on to prove he wasn't behind me. Right. And I had to say, I was either in front of me... Right. And the doctrine of latches, which is a French word, which means lazy. If you're too lazy to pull me over after you observed the first alleged violation, it probably wasn't that important to, for you to pull over in the first place. It undermines the objective standard of probable cause. Right. So the judge stopped the trial, uh, looked at the officer and the prosecutor was there. Now, if the prosecutor ever shows up on your trial, that usually means the officer screwed up. Sounds like it. Yeah. And he knew he screwed up. He was going up against me. Right. I can bring a legal phalanx that would make the dream team look like refugees from Jacobian Myers. Mmm. And I love doing it. I bet you do. So, um, he had a, his partner was six foot eight. Now I was actually kind of, uh, chumming to examine. I was looking forward to examining him in more ways than one. I bet you were. Cause I, I drive a tiny little car. I don't drive a big car. I never got out. So by the time I get out, I'm wearing heels. Right. And he's six foot eight and he's actually shorter than I am. So Which never happens. Exactly. I had a good time. Cause you know, I love women with glasses. That's my weakness. Oh, sorry. I can't. Okay. Now we can cuss. Curse. Cause I figured their vision. Fuck shit. Damn. I figured their vision, I figured their vision's impaired. I have a shot. That's why I like it. Arthur, you ready to do some magic? I'm ready to do some magic. You got 25 minutes. You got 25 minutes. Let's see all these good tricks. Let's see. Well, first. Cause we only had time for a minute. We only had time for one trick last time and he pulled out of like a car that I've never seen before. You might need some help with that too. Cause yeah, just screw it off. That's the way I do it. I don't know what's going on. I got a magic trick. Can you open this for me? I had to open his. So it's. I'll do. He'll do. I'm opening up everybody's water. I know the law, but I don't know how to open a bottle. Well, I'm sorry. I know there's like a squeeze time, but it's like so weird. So I just opened it up and just, just, just, I can't believe I opened up your water for you. Now. All your water is gone. I know. I can't believe I opened it up for you. Now all your fans are gonna be so jealous of me because I know I was the man. Exactly. Okay. So Mindy, before we start the magic, can you see what he's, what he's doing? You got on camera? Are you, are you going to be chilling right there when you do the magic? I'm actually going to be at that table. Okay. Let's, let's turn this camera around to that table then. Okay. All right. And, and Amazon will be your assistant. Amazon you are the assistant. Here comes Arthur Gomez and Amazon Eve. The lovely. Oh, that's gonna be great. Do I need to take off my headset? Yeah, go ahead and take off the headset. We're going, we're going over there. I will, I will do the commentary and you guys, Arthur, this time talk really loud if you can. Oh, wait, wait, let's set up a microphone right there. Hold on one second. Catch this. I don't want to block anything so. I'll stand up, I'll pose you like. Oh, you're good. Oh, you're good. All right. So let's start. Is this loud enough? Can you guys hear me? Yeah, yeah, I can hear you. All right. So this is what we're going to do. You see the matches, right? You guys all see the camera? Do you see the matches? Yeah, I see the matches. I want you to take out any one match you want. Take out one match. So now the matches are here, right? There's three left. There's three matches left and you took out one, right? Watch this. I'm going to close the matchbook like this and you're going to hold it and squeeze it in your hand. And I'm going to take an empty hand and take out a lighter. And this is the This is the I don't want to encourage people to eat fire or nothing. Don't try this at home. Don't try this at your friend's house. Don't try this at your fiance's house. Don't try it anywhere else. Okay. Don't try this at your house purely. Don't try it outside. Did you just eat that? He just ate a match. Yes, he did. He just ate that match. He just ate a match. I better get my gloves off because hold on. Oh, look. He's sticking out his tongue. What's going on? Open the matchbook right now. Look, it's reattached back to the matchpad. It's reattached. Oh, my God. Is it attached? It's reattached to the matchpad. It is attached. It's attached to the matchbook. Can the camera see this? The camera's right here. The camera's right here. Can you see that? It's attached right there. Let me... It's still smoking. It's still smoking, ladies and gentlemen. It's right here, and it's still smoking. You can see it on the camera. That's great. But it's not the trick, actually. Okay, what's the trick? Let's see. We have some cards. Let me get some cards. Are you right-handed or left-handed? I am right-handed. All right. Well, I want you to squeeze the match again. Squeeze it really tight. And put your other hand on top of it. Actually, squeeze it to a ball. Squeeze the whole entire packet to a ball. And with your other hand, we're going to go like this. Squeeze it like that. Just squeeze it. And then with your other hand, we're going to use your other hand. We're going to pick a card. I have a deck of cards. I'm going to take out the deck of cards. Okay. And I'm just going to take out the cards we're going to need, the advertisement cards. Okay. And you can see all the cards. They're all normal cards. They're all different, right? Okay. I'm going to go slow this time. Last time, I went too fast. You went really fast last time. The camera can see all the cards. They're all different. The camera's right here, so make sure. You can see all the cards. Yeah, there you go. Everybody can see the cards. Okay. Okay. We can see all the cards. So watch what we're going to do. All right. I'm going to go like this. And with your hand, it's free. I want you to just, with that hand, I want you to touch the back of a card. Touch the back. Yeah, just touch the back. I'm going to do it slowly so you can just have a selection of the cards that you want in the back. Take it out. And don't show it to me. Show it to yourself. Don't even show it to the camera. Don't show it. Don't show it. I'm going to try to guess that card right now. Okay. It's a red card. It's a diamonds picture card. It's the king of diamonds. It's the king of diamonds. Wow. Watch this. This guy's good. He's good. It gets better. You're going to remember this part right here. Okay. All right. You see the king? You see the king? You see the king, right? I'm going to take the king. I'm just going to ball it up in my hand just like that. I'm going to make the king go inside of the match pad. What? One, two, three. No way. No way. Okay. Open up. Open up the whole entire book right now. Open up the whole entire book. No, there's no way. Open up the book right now. Open up the book. Oh, no. No. You guys kidding me? Show the camera. Show the camera. It's right there. You can see. It's crazy, huh? How crazy was that, Mindy? Pretty crazy. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's good. Absolutely amazing. Let's take the book. How do you do that? It's pretty crazy. But watch this. Don't look. It's not over yet. It's not over yet. Watch this. Watch this. Do you see the match pad? Watch this. Look. The king. I took the king out of the match pad. Look. Just like that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Because the king was all folded up. But I took the king out of the match pad and the regular match is actually not there. Wow. The king is not here. Because the card was all folded. The card was all folded up in the match pack. And then he just slapped. And then the king of the card came out of the match pack and the match came back instead. Is that card completely whole now? It's completely whole now. You can see. Okay. Amazon, how do you do that? All right. I'm distracted by the breath, so I have no idea what he's doing. This case is not closed yet. I will just go. I'm going to watch more carefully now. You can't get past me. He's pretty fast, though. You can't get past me. Let's try that. Let's try this. I got Amazon powers. Let's try this. Let's try this. Let's try this. Let's put this here. We'll try something a little bit better. We'll try. Let's see. We'll try. Let's put these cards here. We'll put the king back. Actually, as a matter of fact, since you already picked that card, might as well just say stop and you. Or actually, put it on top. We'll utilize that card. But we're going to keep that card. I'm going to cut one time once. Snap your fingers. One card turns blue. If I spread it to the deck, one card is blue. Right there. One card is blue. Okay. But wait a second, though. The question is, what card is this? Well, I know what it is now. What card do you think this is? King of diamonds. You're right. It is the king of diamonds. You see that? It gets better. It gets better. It gets better. It gets better. See the king of diamonds? Put the king of diamonds right here. And then you see all the cards are all different, right? You can see. And they're out of order, too. It's. Oh, yeah. These are regular cards. You can bring your own cards and I can do the same thing. I can do this with any kind of cards. This is just your standard. So if somebody buys their own deck, you could do the folding thing and the blue thing. Yeah. The same thing will happen. But watch. It gets better and better and better and better. Here. Actually. I can do this. Actually. He doesn't have to do that. But we can do it good. We'll try. We'll try something better. We'll take. Say stop anywhere you want. Stop. Take it out. Look at it when you say stop. You got it? You got the card? You want me to show the card? Oh, no. Don't show it to the card. Don't show the card. I won't show the card. Don't show me the card. Don't show it to yourself. It's a. It's a. It's an even number. It's two spades. It's a. I'm just going to go ahead and just say it's eight of clubs. Dude. Here's the thing. I thought you were doing a cold read. No. Eight of clubs. But. That's amazing. Actually, let's try this. Let's put it back in the deck. Because I know what a cold read is. I know all that. It's going to turn blue. Watch. Okay. It's going to turn blue. Watch my snap. How do you do this? It turns blue. One card turns blue. Let's see if it. I probably messed up. Probably messed this one up. You messed this one up? I probably. Actually. I choose not to mess this up. Let's try that. All right. I choose to make it better, actually. Let's. Okay. How do you make it better? Turn over that card right now. What card? Don't you dare. Because I know. No. No. No. No. This was. Don't you dare. Okay. Okay. I'm hard to fool. I am really hard to fool. Okay. This detective is stumped. Uh-oh. Look at that. That's the. Oh. That's the. Check this out. Here. Watch. He pulled the fast one. Check this out. He pulled out the eight of clubs. Right? Right. Cards come out. I don't have that. And that's your card. Right there. That's my card. Let's try this. Okay. So you just vomited up some cards. I don't know what happened. I vomited up some cards. Let's just do this for the fun of it. Don't want anyone to try this at home. Let's try. Let's try this. Don't try this at home, Dark Minions. I'm going to. You see I have match packs. Right? You see the match packs? You see that? I'm going to do this really slow this time. Okay. You're not going to light all of them. I'm not going to. I'm just going to take anyone out you want. Choose anyone you want. Anyone I want. Okay. Can't see. They're all the same. So it doesn't matter. Okay. They're just regular matches. Right? They don't feel anything. Okay. You just rip one off. From the front. From the back. I'm just going to close it like that. And watch. Watch what I do. Okay. He's lighting the match. He just ate it. He just ate that match. Yeah. How does that taste? It tastes good. Oh, okay. Like salt, right? Sulfur. Sulfuric. Yeah. Well, salt. Like well done steak. Okay. Like salty pennies. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I think he just pulled a fast one on you. Right? When you weren't looking. Look at the match pack. I don't know. I don't know. Let's see. What happened? It says. It's right there. And it's attached. How did you do that? You see that? How did he? Yeah. It's flipping me off too. How did he do that? Amazon Eve. Tastes good. Yeah. I don't want to encourage anyone to eat that. You are good. That was better. You are. Now, what are you going to do with the spoons? Well, actually, the way I do this is. Or the forks. We got forks. I want you to open up the spoons right now and actually choose any spoon and choose any fork that you want. Go ahead, Amazon. You can choose any spoon. And I will attest. I just bought these before the show. I brought them down to Rite Aid down the street. These are not your spoons. These are not your forks. Well, they're good because I need some silverware. They're good. They're good for the house. You know, I'm actually, my daily life is on an upswing. I was using paper plates. Now, I got silverware. You're still using the disposable. Yeah. I was using the plastic spoons, plastic forks. Now, I got some good stuff. Okay. This is what we're going to do. All right. Before I do this, I'm going to show you that. Is this another one? Don't try it at home? My hands are empty. There's nothing in my hands at all. There's no gadgets. There's no gimmicks. Okay. There's nothing. All right. All right. I'm going to try to do. I'm going to try to see if I could. I want you to rub your clothes right now, and I want you to rub your clothes, too. Okay. You want me to rub my clothes? I'm rubbing my clothes. I'm rubbing my clothes right now. Stop it. Okay. When you rub, I rub. Oh. Hmm. We're both rubbing our clothes. This actually works with metal spoons. Yeah? My chef works with plastic spoons. Okay. I'm going to see if it fits. Are those plastic or metal? These are plastic. Oh, shit. Okay. Well, look at that. Okay. Well, let's see if I can get the spoon to. Okay. Okay. It works better with metal spoons, but I'll see if it fits. I bought metal spoons. Here. Next time, I will bring the metal spoons. I apologize. I hope this works, but if it works correctly, it's a bit. I don't think it's going to work with plastic spoons. All right. Well. We'll move to another trick. We'll have a. Do another trick, then. We have a. I see we have a sugar. We have a. Yeah. Let's do the sugar packets and whatever packets we have. We have a packets. Let's see. I'm going to need a packets of sugar. Arthur, we're going to have you come back on Josie Cat's birthday. She wants more. More magic. I can't read that. Okay. Can I use this chair here? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. I'm going to need everyone to get to the front. You can take a seat, actually. Right. You can put the packets here. Just make sure they're regular packets. You can examine them. Make sure they're not fake. Well. So these are not magic packets. One is chilies. Chilies. Chilies. Like red peppers. Okay. One of them is. What? Salt. I think there's two chilies and a Parmesan. That's a Parmesan. Two chilies and a Parmesan. Two chilies and a Parmesan. Okay. Someone had pizza. So this is what we're going to do here. Yeah. Pizza party here at Skid Row Studios, apparently. I'm going to try this really, really, really, really slow. Could the camera see? Yeah. I might have to. I might have to. Let me put the microphone up to my mouth so I can speak louder. Can you hear me louder now? Yeah. I can hear you. Let me zoom in a little bit here. Okay. Hold on. Okay. Okay. There we go. So this is what we're going to do first. We have three packets. Mm-hmm. This is a solid table. There's no holes in this table, right? Right. There's no holes in the table at all. What I'm going to do is this. We can make some if you'd like. Two packets like this. I'm going to take the first packet. I'm just going to just open it. I'm just going to open it up like this. Okay. Tear it open like this. Just like this. Mm-hmm. So tear it like that. Right. And there's nothing in this hand, obviously. I'm just going to just take my hand. I'm just going to close it into a ball. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to take the... I'm just going to go like this. This is a portal. This is a secret portal. There's a hole in this table somewhere. You just don't know where it's at. Okay. I'm going to pour some of this ingredient into my hand. Can you see the ingredients? I see it. There's red pepper coming down your hand. There's red pepper coming out of my hand. Chili's coming down the hand. All right. Watch this. They're going in my hand. Right, right, right, right, right. My goodness. This will just... Okay. We'll disregard these. These are just extra grains that I'm not going to use. Okay. All right. Now watch this. It's easier when you do the sugar or the salt. I know. We'll take this. Okay. I'm just going to poke it down in the hole just like that. You can see there's nothing in this hand. Right, right. And there's nothing in this hand. There's no hole in that table as far as I know. Look. It's going to go right through the table. Watch. Dude. What happened? But look, look. Some of the grains actually went to the table. The ones that went through are in my hand. Look. Check it out. Look. What? Can you see that? Okay. I'm bedazzled. That was bedazzling. You just bedazzled Amazon E. You just bedazzled me. We have two more to go. We have this one and that one. Okay. Okay. So. Let me clean this one. I think I know how you did that, but I'm not going to say it. Let me clean this one up. All right. Just clean that one up. You can say all your suggestions right now if you want to, by the way. Okay. Where do you perform at? He'll be at the Art Walk tonight. He'll be at the Art Walk tonight. You can catch him there. Awesome. Venice Beach. Venice Beach. In terms of the episode, I'm going in the streets. I'm going in the places like- City Walk. Santa Monica, City Walk. We have to set you up in Vegas. Basically, I move around a lot, so you can catch me everywhere. Can you hook him up in Vegas? Yeah. Keep that connection. Yeah. So we're done with this green here. We're trying- He's not even paying attention. But Arthur, you might- That's okay. After the show, we might hook you up with a Vegas gig. Definitely want your card. I'm going to- Oh, I have a lot of business cards. Excellent. You're more than welcome to have one. Excellent. All right. So let's see. So what do you got? You got more chilies and a Parmesan. But before we do this, is there any way that you think this is possible? You're free to say it. Here's what I think. I think there's a little misdirection, and I didn't really pay attention. Do you know anything about- Do you know anything about- Quantum physics? Well, I think he switched it under the table with his other hand at some point when I wasn't looking. I'll do it really slow right now and make sure you look extremely close. I'm looking extremely close. All right. Let's try this. Remember, this is a solid table. It's a whole other thing. It appears solid. Which one do you want to go for this time? This one or that one? Which one do you want to go for? You want the chili or the Parmesan? I want the Parmesan. You want Parmesan? Yes. All right. Watch what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the Parmesan like this. I'm just going to open it. It's a bigger pack. Nothing like a man playing with cheese. Just going to just- Just going to just open it like this. Just like a man opening up the package with his teeth. Yeah. That's a real man. That's a man. That's a man's man. That's a man you picked up with one hand. With one arm. So basically, I'm just going to just- Okay. Okay. You need some help with that too or- My fans demand that. That you pick up with one arm? Of course. Did you bring your paddle today, by the way? We decided to use my hand. Okay. There's more intimacy in the hand. Okay. Okay. So- You do realize you're going to get spanked later. I've been bad. Have you been bad? I've been- At Magic, I've been good. Yeah. You didn't bring any silverware. So this hand is- I was supposed to bring the silverware. I was bad. Go ahead. So you need to get to go over my knee then. Okay. So he's got the Parmesan. Hold on. Let's do the trick first. We'll get this stuff out of the way. Okay. So we got the chilies out of the way. So this hand is empty, right? Right. I'm going to just close my hand. You see the packet? I'm just going to close my hand like this. Right. Pick up the packet. All I'm going to do is this. I'm going to do it slow. Watch my hand really close. I'm just going to take the cheese. Right. Right. And pour it. Right. I see that. Into my hand. You can see the cheese going into the hand. I see the cheese going into the hand. It's going to go in the hand just like that. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's a lot of cheese. It's going in the hand. I'm going to put all the cheese in the hand. Right. I see that. Cheese is probably going to stick to the hand. I'll bet it will. Especially later tonight. Oh, God. Just like that. Okay. All the cheese in the hand. All the cheese in the hand. Right. As a matter of fact, I might even try this with a solid instead. I might try this with something more like a coin or something. Just a little bit more solid in this. Right. You want a coin? Maybe jizz. In a bit. In a bit. Jizz. Well, we've only got seven minutes, so. Okay. Well, this is going to go. Just a good amount. Where's the guy? Get off at about two. This is a good amount. It's going to be. So we'll leave the rest in there. So this hand is empty. Right. Just like that. You can see I'm going to just poke it. Just going to poke all the cheese in my hand. It's not in this hand. Okay. I see. Okay. Okay. But your hand just went under the table. Exactly. The catch. The ones that fall under the table. It's going to catch the ones that go through the table. Okay. That hand is there so I can catch the things that go through the table. Look, I caught it. Look. See that? Look. When did he make the switch? I was looking at it. All right. All right. I'm. I'm. If there's another word greater than bedazzled. We are bedazzled. You get. That word. As a matter of fact. I would try to the day. Let's do it with a solid. Bedazzled times two. I'll do it with a solid. Actually. Yeah. There's only one more pack. That's the one right there. Well, I'll try with a solid. It's better. I'm in awe of you. You can see. Look, I'll show you. I'll fold it up like this. I'll do it really quick. Look. Okay. It's not in this hand. It's not in this hand. Watch. Look. Look. Watch what happens. Look how quick it happens too. Watch. Look. It's going to happen really fast. Watch. Count to three. I saw you put it in the other hand. Look. I saw him put it in the other hand. I saw that. You saw it? I saw that one. Will we do it again? I'll do it again. Watch the track. Do it again. See. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Can we have playback on this camera? Are we able to do playback on the camera? It's not in this hand. Okay. It is not in this hand. Not now. Yeah. Watch. Watch. Watch. It's not. It's not. Look. Look. It's done. It happened. Look. Just like that. Oh, dude. Look. Look. Look. Look. You can't look at the table. It's magical. You can't look at the table. It's magical. I can't look at it because it's magical. You can sign your name on it. You can sign your name on it. It's the same one. It goes through the table. No, no. I know you don't. I know it's the same one. It's the same one. Arthur, you're amazing. You are amazing. Very good work. Very good work. Let me try one more actually. Okay. One more. But it's got to be quick because we only got five minutes to go. I have a Sharpie marker. And actually, I want you to examine the Sharpie marker. Make sure it's a real Sharpie marker. Okay. We got the Sharpie marker. Why can't we do a full hour show? Well, this is... This is a full hour show. We are doing a full hour show. It feels like five or ten minutes. I know. My shows go by the quickest. Everybody tells me. Jenny, whose shows go by the quickest? Blame it on Ginger. Besides Blame it on Ginger. Okay. Anyway, go ahead. Everyone's show because everyone is awesome. Okay. Okay. Okay. Can you guys see the dark pole that I drew on my head? We see the dark pole. I saw it. Yes. The dark mark. The Sharpie. The dark mark with the Sharpie. You put on your hand. Okay. We put the dark mark in the Sharpie. Really? No pun. So I want to have a lighter. And actually, let's see. Check out the lighter. Make sure it's a real lighter. Make sure it's... Amazon, is that a real lighter? Check out the lighter. Okay. That is a real lighter. I'm not giving it back. You got to use it for... So you examine the Sharpie and you examine the lighter. Right. Right. Right. That lighter's real. The Sharpie's real. They're solid. Okay. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this. I got to see this. Okay. You got the flame under... He did something. I don't know what he did. Okay. Let's see the hand. It's supposed to... I'm not going to tell you what was supposed to happen, but it didn't go right. It didn't go right. Your big finale did not go right. It's a big finale. Were you supposed to breathe fire out of your mouth or what happened? It's supposed to... It's supposed to make smoke. That's what I thought it was supposed to be. I have to... It's because of the room temperature. I have to see if... Let me see if I can try it again. Let me see if we have the... Is there chemicals in the Sharpie? You need to do a public service announcement just to make sure. Make sure it's a real one. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. I just got to draw a dark... Oh, yeah. That's real. Oh, wow. You can even try to smoke it, too. There's no smoking. So if I light this, will it make smoke? Oh, no. That's a real... That's a real... You can even do the whole trick. You can even try to do the whole trick. Let me do the trick real quick. You got to do it real quick. Yeah, you got to... This is the next show coming up, okay? I got to make the whole dark. You got to make the dark mark, okay? All right. All right. I'm going to take out a lighter. Let me see if I have a lighter. Take out the lighter. Make sure it's a real lighter. I already checked outside. The lighter is real. It's actually a different lighter, but it's real. It's a lighter. The lighter is real. So it's both solid. Watch what I'm going to do. Okay. The room's lighting is not good enough for that, but I got it. I'm going to... I didn't see... Did you see smoke? I'll say that you did smoke. I love the card tricks, though. The card tricks had me bedazzled. All the tricks are great. Hey, Arthur, we don't have time for any other tricks. No, no, no. But if people want to get a hold of you, don't give your card a chance. Don't give out your phone number again. This is my business card. Yeah, give her your business card. But don't give out your home number again, but tell people how they can get a hold of you on social media. Facebook at Arthur the Magic Savage. In the mic, in the mic. Yeah, say it in the mic. In the mic, in the mic. In the mic. In the mic. Facebook at Arthur the Magic Savage. And YouTube. YouTube channel is Arthur Gomez. Arthur Gomez. YouTube channel. Arthur, you've been great. I was impressed. Trust me. Don't forget about the sponsor. Oh, no, we already did the sponsor. As a matter of fact, I was going to tell you. Okay. There's a book, a new book at Audible that I was recommending for you. If you go to darkmarkshow.com, you can click on Audible. You get free audio books. You go on Japan. It'll be great for you. A free 30-day trial, and you get a free audio book. There's a book called Big Girl Panties by Stephanie Ivanovich, narrated by Katie Shore. Nine hours, 51 minutes. That's about it. How much? The flight is to Tokyo. But before we go, Amazon, how do people get a hold of you? I know everybody's going to be dying, too. Well, dying. Excited, too. Excited, too. Thralled. Thralled. Throbbing. Waiting in anticipation. AmazonEve.com or at AmazonEve on Twitter. That is my URL. And any things coming up? What's, like, shows, appearances, anything that people want to know about? I'm going to be doing a short little publicity run. For my solo show. And we're going to probably, it won't air until July. And another one is going on, I think, I've got next Tuesday, a Swedish television program. I did a show. We filmed it. It's coming on next Tuesday. Bikini? It's... Am I wearing a bikini? No, no bikini in this one. This is just a very in-person interview. And it's in English. And it's Renee. Renee. Renee is kind of like the Swedish version of Oprah. Very nice. And it's on Elk Productions, Elk TV, which is... Elk TV, all of our Swedish listeners. Yes. Now, we've got one minute to go, Amazon. Tell me how bad I was for not bringing metal forks and spoons. Oh, spanking is definitely in order for that. No metal spoons. I wanted to see the fork and spoon magic. And you blew that. You really blew me in. Get your butt over here. Mama needs to give you punishment. This is what I have to say if you're not bringing the forks and spoons. No, she's going to... She's going to find... I have my... I have my opinion as well, too. Okay. Okay, give me Danny over here. It's called Don't Worry About It. It's always the next time. All right. Stand over here. I want to make sure that... Except for spanking. Stand over here. Stand over here. I want to make sure the camera gets it. Okay. Stand over here. Okay. Stand over here. Turn this way. All right. Bend over. Bend over. All right. Right there. All right. Okay, go ahead. Ah! Very good. On a scale of one to ten. Oh, really? Ah! Ah! Have a wonderful, creepy week, everybody. Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I've been bad. I've been really bad. I've been so bad. Ow! This is so much fun. I've been so bad. I got a huge bone. I've been...